The Girl Who Ate Everything

I went to Quantum Leap for a pancake brunch somewhat at the last minute. I was originally planning to go with a friend but she felt under the weather so I figured I'd forego the pancake adventure. But...was that necessary? I can eat out by myself (hell, I do it all the time) and I decided if I went I'd be testing the waters for us possibly pancaking next weekend.

mid-day brunchers

I decided to go to Quantum Leap after passing it once while walking home and picking up a menu. It took me about 40 minutes to walk there from my dorm; perhaps I was walking more slowly than usual? Well, I hope that burned some calories. Thankfully the restaurant had room (I was getting worried because loads of restaurants on the way up there were crowded with lazy brunch-going people, like me). Most of the people inside were in pairs but later there were some loners like me. ;)

strawbery stack

There are quite a few pancake choices along with specials (which I wish I had ordered but I was kind of slow noticing the specials board). Still in strawberry mode from last Friday, I ordered the strawberry stack, a 2-pancake stack with stawberry slices on top and in between the pancakes along with a few slices of banana and a dollop of cream. It was beaaauuutiful! And then I ate it. I finished the whole thing. Thank god I had to use a knife and a fork to eat it or I may have finished it even more quickly. I don't like pouring maple syrup on top of my pancakes but I make a huge pool of it and dip my pancake into the pool. I guess that's not very different but it gives me more control over where the maple syrup goes. It was a good portion of food as it left me feeling satisfied but not over-stuffed. Then again, I'm a 5 foot tall girl...but you know me: I can pack it away.

eating the strawberry pancakes

So far, those were the best pancakes I've had over the course of my pancaking journeys in NYC. Then again, the only places I've been going to have been diners, so...yeah. But they were really good pancakes and I'd recommend that you go to the restaurant if you like pancakes. The decor is simple and earth-toned (it's a natural healthy food type restaurant, although if you ask me, real meat sausages are more natural than soy links) and the space is not too big or small. The service was a bit strange as one waitress seemed less personable than a robot while the other (the one who served me most of the time) was very nice and looked happy. I'm going to assume that the other person wasn't in a very good mood at the time. The happy waitress left an impression on me. :)

Oh, menupages, how I love thee. While searching for pancakes in the Central Village/Noho area I came across a place called PressToast. Anything with the word “toast” in it must be good. Right? I mean, figuring it applies to the heating of slices of risen flour products and not …something else. I found out that it was right by school yet I had never noticed it before because I’ve rarely walked down MacDougal Street.

So that’s where I set off for at 11 AM when the sun was shining and not hidden behind a blanket of grey clouds that has now made everything look like the crap. I broke out OK Computer on my iPod, an album I haven’t listened to in ages. It’s fun to dig out those old albums every once in a while.

PressToast

PressToast is a hole-in-the-wall type of place, but a large hole! There’s a clear plastic door that separates the seating/stool area from the street but I just wanted to pick up something and eat in the park. There was one young woman there pressing the toasty sandwiches. Even though I looked up pancakes on menupages, they didn’t have any pancake choice on their menu. Grr! But they had some sweet choices and you know me; sugar comes before all else. I got a honey and banana toast for $3 (the fruit is $0.50 extra) because I figured the one with Nutella would be a tad too indulgent (maybe next time). Handing me a bag with the foil-wrapped oblong pressed toasty sammich, the woman told me to eat it while it was still hot.

toast innards

Well yeah, wheat with a gooey honey banana center would never last long in the world of Robyn. I don’t know how to describe the bread besides that it’s not regular toast—it’s BETTER! Yeah. Because I said so. It was soft and crispy and while I would’ve loved more filling, it was a good amount and didn’t goosh out. I should probably get my own toasting machine and make them myself but that would put me on red-alert risk for eating about five pressed sammiches a day with honey inside (for those who don’t know me, I am capable of eating a jar of honey in a few days; that stuff does not last long). It was a very satisfying snack. Their choices that have cheese and meat are probably more filling so I’ll try one of those next time (the avocado sounds yummy).

Toilet Bowl Restaurant: Boy, am I proud to be Taiwanese right now.

...I do think it's cool. :) It's strange, but I'd eat there for the novelty. I haven't been to Taiwan since 1999 and methinks a lot has changed in the past six years. Perhaps not a whole lot but I'm sure Starbucks has infiltrated the island like mad (when I was there, the largest American presence was McDonalds, which was literally EVERYWHERE YOU WENT).

And something different but still food related: what the hell is up with this burger? Really. WHAT IS THAT? THAT'S NOT REAL! IT CAN'T BE! (frightened)

I liked to plan out where I'm going before I actually go anywhere to make sure I don't stray and eat ...everything.

inside Sullivan Diner

Well, that didn't work! I was planning to try the Washington Square Diner on West 4th Street since it's close to school and I didn't leave my dorm until pretty late (later than when most places would be serving breakfast) but I ended up going to Sullivan Diner (169 Sullivan Street). I had passed it a few times before but I found out it had just opened last week. Luckily for me, they serve breakfast until 4 PM! Or rather, they serve breakfast food until 4 PM, which is closer to dinner time than breakfast time.

Dutch pancake with lemon, butter, and sugar

Today is my reading day before finals. So did I wake up early to study and do studious things all day? God no. I took a 35 minute-ish walk to the restaurant, had a lovely Dutch pancake with sugar, butter and lemon and ran into my food communications teacher and her agent. She has a new book coming out. I don't really cook so I guess it's not something I'd be interested in getting, but my mum bought one of her books and she's even less of a cook than I am, if possible. It was a very strange matter of perfect timing that I ran into her as I barely know anyone in NYC to being with (considering how many people are here) and I rarely run into people.

kitchen

Anyway, back to the restaurant. It's very small but stylish, clean, and comfortable. There's a seating area with stools for single people to sit at by the entrance but I sat at one of the two-people tables. The counter/drink area and kitchen are in the center of the room so if you sit in the right spot you can see the chef cooking. I could somewhat see my pancake being made and my first thought was "Holy crap, that is a huge pan." A dutch pancake is a very thin pancake and...it's good. Obviously. Confectioners sugar, butter, and slice of lemon were a nice change from my regular maple syrup (on thick rounds of American style pancakes). They also offer regular pancakes so when I go back (and I shall!), I'll try those. All for the good of the pancake-eating NYC public, yes? Yes. (I need to keep track of the pancake places I've gone to, along with the chocolate chip cookies I've eaten.)

The bloot. That's what I call whatever I have now. It can only be described as "the bloot."

Actually, it can also be described as "the wheeze"...the wheezy bloot? Good god. No, I'm not dying, just ate a wee bit too much. Why? BECAUSE I'M AT HOME! Good lord, the first thing I did (well, one of them) when I got back was drink chai tea. Do I ever drink tea? No! I rarely drink anything besides water. But chai tea is good and I never make it myself and as my mum was already boiling water, I decided to join in on the scalding hot liquid drinking fun!

So, that was yummy. And then my mum broke out a package of heart-shaped brownies from Whole Foods. But these were not ordinary brownies, more like a flourless chocolate cake-like thing. Thingo. But not. That's my best description. It was very good but just not one of my favorite kinds of pastries (wow, those exist!). I also tried one of Whole Foods's chocolate chip cookies since my brother got a tub of them (literally, a TUB). Those were okay too but not something I'd buy myself. YER JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

Oh, I have to go back in time some more. This morning I went to Bon Vivant Diner on Broadway between 12th and 13th Streets with Diana for some social eating, WOO! Neither of us was very hungry, but we ate anyway, me ingesting many calories in particular. I got banana pancakes and...A MILKSHAKE. This was around 10:30 AM, so a late breakfast or an early lunch. Why a milkshake? I don't know--I just craved one. That happens, eh? It was yummy although I would've prefered a thicker one (milkshakes from Peanut Butter Co. are deliciously thick). The pancakes were delish with bananas in the batter. Diana got challah french toast and she wasn't expecting such eggy bread. I've never had challah French toast, just regular, so I guess it might be weird to have eggy bread cooked in...egg. Man, now I want to try it! Overall, it's a nice diner and I'd go again.

And...back to home. Oh, we stopped by La Delice Bakery on 3rd Ave and 27th Street since I heard they had some awesome cupcakes. BUT I DIDN'T SEE THE CUPCAKES! The special ones with funky cream. I was sad. So I got a chocolate chip cookie instead, but it wasn't a regular chocolate chip cookie. It was one of those airy crunchy kind. Nothing wrong with that but I guess I wouldn't have bought it if I knew it was not chewy in any sense at all. (sniff) They make lots of yummy stuff, I ought to try one of those sometime. AND I SHALL! I'll go back on Monday. :)

OKAY, BACK HOME. I. Uh. I ate a rugelach since my mum has a bunch of em. I felt very not hungry but my family wanted to go out, so we ate dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. I had only been there once before about 3 years ago and I wasn't really keen on going again, but it was pretty good. Actually, it was very good, in my opinion. The menu is huge but a lot of it seemed ot be stuff you could get somewhere else (my mum got pad thai. AT THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY. Alright). I got "The Navajo" sandwich and it was great. It didn't make my mouth weep with joy and deliciousness but I have no complaints. It was a rather unique sandwich using fried flatbread and MM AVOCADO AND GRILLED CHICKEN and some really yummy mayo and stuff. The bread made it really nice, methinks. Any other bread and it wouldn't have been as good.

Oh yes, we had to get cheesecake. I was the only one who actually wanted cheesecake as my mum and brother said they were too full to eat more (my brother DID eat a lot; I saved half of my sandwich to take home). I got a banana cream cheesecake and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, IT WAS SO GOOD. They have a gazillion choices and I think I made the right one, as a lover of bananas. The cheesecake had been frozen so the "cream" part was still a bit in that frozen state, but that gave it an ice cream like texture while being very light. The cheesecake portion was very light as well, not one of those cheesecakes that feels like a brick. My mum did help me eat a bit of it but it was mainly me stuffing myself with something that probably had more calories than I should eat in one day. Besides the cheesecake, there were also mounds of whipped cream, very yummy cream at that. I ended up finishing the whole slice and feeling overly stuffed by the end.

It was worth it. I suppose I should try a different flavor next time but that banana cream...oh my. Banana cream pie is probably my favorite pie (however, the last time I remember having it, a really good one at least, was a few years ago at a restaurant in Ridgewood that had a pastry chef) and with cheesecake it is the super-yum. Banana cream...creamy banana...oh my god.

So I'm totally filled with unhealthy foodstuffs. Yet when I got home, I had to open the fridge to put in my leftovers and what did my eyes see but TWO CHOCOLATE CAKES FROM WEGMANS. My brother bought them, dammit. So I tried one of the cakes, a chocolate one, and it was good but not something that screamed "EAT MORE OF ME." Funny how that works out. It was tasty! Maybe I was too full to appreciate it.

Since I've been in NJ (Thursday), I haven't been very hungry. It's partially because I'm in my house and I'm eating semi-continuously, but the desire to eat good foods has decreased since that would mainly involve driving.

I've drank something like five cups of Tazo chai tea since I've been here. Why? Well. It tastes really good. NOO, I don't want to be sucked in by drinks! I think it tastes better than hot chocolate when mixed with honey and milk. It's also really easy to make. And my mum has a lot of teabags. Maybe I'll try a chai tea diet...for a day.

Definitely need to lose weight. Hm.

Yesterday I had eel for dinner but not much has been happening in the fooding world. I've been on my computer most of the time, staying indoors. HOORAY NJ!

A cupcake almost killed me. This one. The description on the page is accurate, yet I somehow missed the part where it said that it was 6 inches tall. It seems more than 6 inches tall, perhaps a few feet tall in cupcake measurements. THIS THING IS HUGE. DO NOT EAT THIS BY YOURSELF OR YOU SHALL SUFFER THE SUGAR OVERLOADING CONSEQUENCES!

Anyway, I ate it by myself. Bad idea. I couldn't eat all the icing. The pink icing on the inside really does give the impression of cute, fluffy blood. And the outside "skin" is...is. Is. Um. It affected my ability to think, apparently.

To me, it seems like someone dared the bakery to make some kind of wacky cupcake. "I bet you can't pile on a few inches of icing! Try and make a 3:1 icing-to-cake ratio. HAHAHA HAAR." This cupcake needs a warning label.

Um. Overall, if you like cupcakes and icing, this is definitely worth $3.50. I don't think you'll find any other cupcake that's quite as scary anywhere else. No really, the thing has beady eyes and it freaks you out. And then you chomp off its head and scoop out the sweet sweet innards. Oh. Innards.

Sadly, I could really use one of these:

Powerseed: Tiny New Electronic Eating Coach for Mindful Eating, Portion Control and Natural Weight Loss

I just inhaled this bun I got in Chinatown. Man, that was good. I didn't eat today until..well, a few minutes ago. Was I hungry? Not really. I might get a loaf of bread later.

Seriously though, I eat way too fast. Sometimes I actually don't, but for the most part (when I'm alone mainly), I eat really quickly. I've somehow gotten around that pesky mastication process. I have yet to figure out if my digestion is bad or if it's actually really good. Probably bad.

I have my last final (my final final?) of the school year tonight in food microbiology and sanitation. I can't tell you much besides that...um, pathogens don't like to grow in really acidic environments? And a lot of pathogens result in nausea and vomiting. Sometimes diarrhea. And C. botulinum is really bad, folks.

...yup, I'm screwed!

I finally went to Mei Lai Wah Coffeehouse. The place that is usually overflowing with people was thankfully not crowded at 9:45 PM. Well, not overly so; there were still a lot of people inside. I ordered a pork bun and an egg custard tart for $1.

So this pork bun. ...IS REALLY GOOD. It's true. Maybe if you never had a pork bun before and ate it for the first time it wouldn't seem that great but I've had other pork buns and this is a good pork bun. Why? Because. Because it is. Trust me. Holy crap, it's yummy. There are chunks of meat in here and the sauce is kind of sweet and salty and yes. Don't you want it? Yes. I'm not even a huge fan of pork but this I could eat all the time.

And you wanna know what's even better? The dude gave me FOUR EGG CUSTARD TARTS. It's late so I guess they'd throw em out anyway. But good god! I guess I'll just go there at night. Haha. Ha.

Other than that, today I ate half a coconut bread thingy from Lung Moon Bakery and a meat bun from Fay Da Bakery. AND I'M DONE WITH SCHOOL! HOLY CRAP!

So this is how I celebrate. Pork bun-ing and egg custard tart-ing. Superlicious.

Actually, the title isn't true. But it's kind of true.

This morning I shared the last two egg custard tarts from Mei Lai Coffeehouse with my visiting friend, Lee Anne, whom I may stuff with lots of...stuff. I've never had one that had been refrigerated before; it's pretty good! I mean, it's always good, but...yeah, that had no point. Warm, fresh egg custard tarts are great and cold ones are good too since they're a bit more solid. Egg custard tarts are one of my most favorite Chinese foods, although I guess it's not very Chinese.

After checking out of my dorm, we headed up to 60th Street for Lee Anne's haircut appointment. What did I do in the meantime? Can you guess? Yes, yes you can. WHAT DID ROBYN DO?

Robyn went around to foodie places. First, I went to Fauchon, a French food market type place that has lots of tea, chocolates, honeys, preserves, cookies, pastries, and all around stuff that is really unhealthy for you but probably tastes good (because most unhealthy things do taste good). I didn't get a good look at the pastries because I was just browsing and it was rather uncrowded so I didn't want to...drool on the display case. Actually, I'm not very into French pastries (oh, don't get me wrong, I think they taste wonderful) because I like something less complicated. Maybe. Like a huge red bean bun. Oh yes. But anyway, they have HUGE ASS MACAROONS. HUGE. Like four regular ones (I guess they're "macarons", not macaroons...ah, alright). The first time I had one of these was from Wegmans and ever since then I've really liked em (they are a mouthful of heaven apparently). However, you don't see them sold very often and I certainly don't eat them much. I've seen them at Something Sweet bakery on 1st Ave and 11th Street and La Maison du Chocolat. I plan to go back to Fauchon just for a huge-ass macaron.

After that, I wandered down Park Avenue to Grand Central. I've been there a few times so I knew what lurked inside: LOTS AND LOTS OF FOOD. Or lots. ...no, lots and lots. I ended up getting a muffin at Zaro Bakery out of all the enticing foods subject to the awesome buying power of my wallet. I love carrot muffins so I like comparing different ones, mmkay--I'm going to use that as an excuse. The muffin was okay, not bad, not memorable. I think all carrot muffins should have nuts and this one HAD NO NUTS, but it had lots of raisins. I'd rather have nuts than raisins.

Oh, back to the food. There's a lot. The lower level? Lots of food. The upper level? Still lots of food. The lower level is probably more fun but the upper ain't too shabby. Zaro's stuff looked mighty tasty....mmmm...b...bread. But I didn't want an entire loaf of bread for one of the first times in my life. I know a lot of people say blaargh to Junior's Cheesecake but I've had it once and you know what? I ENJOYED IT. The slice was mega-huge so I couldn't finish it, but I thought it was damn tasty. I don't have a very discerning taste but anyhoo, if I were feeling more piggish I would've gotten some from Grand Central. The only time I've eaten their cheesecake was after walking there across the Brooklyn Bridge. You gotta walk that off somehow (although that probably walked off...a tablespoon).

And I went to more food places. Maybe. (thinks) Ah yes, I went up to Payard after eating my muffin while gazing at Lever Labyrinth and that freaky but cool huge pregnant lady sculpture nearby. I couldn't see much inside Payard but it looked nice and very expensive. I should've gone inside...oops (I though the whole thing was like a restaurant). I'll just have to go back SOME OTHER DAY.

That was the main fooding of my day, which didn't involve much food. Oh, I mean "main fooding" as in what was interesting. I moved out of my dorm so now I'm at home and upon coming home I ATE A LOT. It just wouldn't stop! HOLY MOLY. My mum got a loaf of that butter soft Japanese bread that is so buttery you don't need to butter it (actually, I would butter it so it would just be really really buttery) and we picked up eel sushi and spring rolls from Market Basket, a place that's about 5 minutes from my house yet I haven't eaten at in a long time. The sushi is pretty good (to be honest, I can't recall a time I had bad sushi either because I truly haven't or I don't have standards; it's probably the latter) and I love Vietnamese-style spring rolls. My mum and I tried to make these once but the rice paper always broke on us. Hm. Besides that my mum bought biscotti, which was just okay. I ate two pieces even though it was just "okay" because I SUCK. Market Basket makes good cookies (like chocolate chip-esque ones) and their tarts are good but biscotti...maybe not. I haven't tried most of the other things as they come in large packs and I just want ONE muffin, dammit, not two!

Oh, and I drank a lot. I almost always drank water in my dorm aside from the time a friend gave me some hot white chocolate mix. Today I drank about two cups of tea (I made the mistake of deviating from chai tea for the second and using some kind of orange tea, which wasn't as good; I ended up not finishing it) and a cup of hot chocolate. The hot chocolate was okay, made from a Wegman's mix, but nothing really compares to something like City Bakery's. And that was the last hot chocolate I had!...a few months ago. It affected me to the point that I just couldn't take any more hot chocolate. However, a thin hot chocolate works fine.

So I ate a lot today. NO SURPRISE. Tomorrow (er, today) I'm going back into NYC to finish a food webzine that if I haven't linked already, I will when it's totally done.

JapaneseSnacks.com sent out a huge email about needing help and such (bellow the cut).

Star Spangled Ice Cream can fulfill all your conservative ice cream needs. Have some high fructose corn syrup in your I Hate the French Vanilla ice cream. I'm not as annoyed with the names as much as the sucky ingredients, although it could be worse.

I ate relatively healthily today. For lunch I had a yummy with that had romaine lettuce, carrots, beets, some chicken bits and...other stuff made by my teacher that I'm interning with plus a very nice fruit salad and half a piece of bread. For dinner I had a lot of green beans that I pan fried in olive oil and sesame seeds, onion focaccia, and a cucumber. And some almond...jello. And. A CRAPLOAD OF RAISINS.

RAAIIISINS god damn you. My mum bought a few pounds or something (we have many jars of raisins) and I can easily eat half a pound without realizing it. Well, I DO realize it, but it doesn't do anything to satisfy my appetite. And I ate SO MUCH FOOD. I can't tell you the exact measurements of what I ate for dinner but it was a lot. It wasn't necessaril unhealthy but it was just a lot of food. Same for the raisins, which aren't exactly super-healthy but probably better than a deathly cupcake.

This morning I felt so fat squeezing into pants that ARE QUITE LARGE that I told myself I would cut out grain products. Which obviously didn't happen. I've lost weight before, so I know I can do it again. But. (sigh) Living in NYC was bad, but living in NJ means I get almost no exercise. I go into the city but I don't have to walk much since my teacher lives really close to the subway station. Doh.

Some people drink copious amounts of alcohol and turn into drunken monkey-esque creatures (well, I suppose we are monkey-esque creatures already). I drink many cups of tea and turn into...a human filled with liquids. If someone impaled me with a syringe (a rather disturbing idea, yet it's the first one that came to mind), tea would shoot out like water from a fire hose (wait, shouldn't a fire hose shoot out fire?).

Actually, I only drank two cups of tea, but that was after eating three oranges that filled me up to the brim of my esophagus. Or I assume what was my esophagus. Now it's just a tube full of orange. ...wow, why AM I telling you this? A tube of orange pulp is not pleasant. Oh well.

For dinner I had more than half a loaf of fig and walnut bread from Dean & Deluca, oranges, raisins, and tea. Do I know how to balanace a meal or what? ...Or what. Yeeup. Not even that. The bread was damn good and thank god for baskets of free samples that surround the perimeter of D&D's bread section because FREE BREAD SAMPLES is just what I need.

...For doom.

I am getting so fat, you have no idea. I don't stop eating when I'm full or else I wouldn't have reached the point of possibly upchucking orange bits. Those oranges really put me over the edge...dammit. I think I have a tendency to keep eating unless I eat something dessert-like, and while oranges are kind of dessert-like, I mean more like WHEAT BASED dessert-like, which oranges are most definitely not. I either need to get accustomed to not gorging on cake or cookies OR buy reasonable amounts of cake to cap off my meals.

...seriously, why aren' I obese yet? You know it's going to happen. That, or cancer.

I also ate lunch today so you know I went over. Rawr. I shared some dosas from the Hampton Chutney Company with my teacher that I'm helping build a website for. Never having eaten a dosa before, I'm glad to report that MM, GOOD.

That wasn't correct English. Let me try again.

Mmm...rice crepe filled with yummy goo. Good god, whoever thinks I'm a good writer is insane. Oh well. So back to whatever I was saying (I dunno, my abdomen is swelled like someone who's preggers and I think that affects my brain function, along with the tea), a dosa is a rice crepe filled with whatever you want. I recommend the "Grilled Portabello Mushroom, Spinach & Roasted Onions" since that's what I got, but I'm sure it's all good. The prices aren't super cheap or expensive ($8-$12) but these thigs are HUGE and worth the money. When I say huge, I mean...I was impressed. ME. YES, ME. They remind me of huge-ass subs, but more huge-ass like if that's any kind of measurement (not one likely to be used by any scientific associations, I'm sure; "Now, add two 1.5 huge-ass increments of NaCl". However, they're not insanely filling due to the thin wrapping; it's a good amount of food. I ate a lot, of course.

Oh, my belly.

I got this idea from words to eat by after reading that "50 Things Every Foodie Should Do" list that every "foodie" has probably read by now. Here's my "Top 10 Things Every College Student In NYC Should Do, Especially If Your Name Is Robyn" (not in any particular order):

1. Go Donut Pub-ing, even if you're not really into donuts. Why? Because...it's the Donut Pub.
2. Eat at one of those cheaper-than-dirt dumpling houses in Chinatown (on Allen, Eldridge, Mosco, and Mulberry)
3. Get cupcakes from Sugar Sweet Sunshine bakery, eat them there, and go back for MORE CAKE
4. Roam near the Manhattan Bridge on East Broadway for GREEN SAMMICHES (perhaps the best sandwich you can get for $1) and if you have another dollar, get a pack of vegetable steamed buns
5. Sullivan Street Bakery: Get anything from there!
6. Pick a bakery in Chinatown and get a filled bun (red bean is always good), a fried sesame rice ball, or...uh...anything
7. Eat a loaf of bread from the Union Square Greenmarket (I usually buy from "Our Daily Bread") and a scone...or a muffin. Or all three.
8. Fulfill your hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookie craving at City Bakery
9. If you like ginger, try the ginger ice cream at the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory. And if you don't like ginger, get the coconut. And if you don't like coconut, what's wrong with you?
10. This isn't in NYC but it's VERY CLOSE and you can get there by shuttle from the Port Authority Bus Terminal: Japanese food lovers must go to Mitsuwa for oobanyaki and a gazillion other yummy things

No, not my review, although I am currently reading "It Must've Been Something I Ate" by Jeffrey Steingarten. I googled it up to see what other people thought about it and came across this one from ochef.com. I've never seen a review arranged in such a way; a table of key words and figures gives a quick run down of parts of the book's contents that you wouldn't usually think about (like the Table of Contents). Mm, I love tasty information design. Tastes like...um. CAKE!

Today for lunch I ate a navel orange, a lot of potato chips (those huge kettle chip things; goddamn my brother for buying a huge bag), a small slice of chocolate cheesecake (damn my brother again) and raisins. And water. I didn't even try to make that balanced, did I? Yesterday I had a nice cheeseburger dinner, which I shall talk about later.

I tried on those fat gauging pants that you may have heard me talk about before. Well. I don't think they had ever been so tight in my life. My life! That's very very bad.

So while I was supposed to go out for lunch with my brother and our friend Jesse from Maryland who is visiting us for a while, I just couldn't. I was in a sucky mood, of course, so I slept in late although I woke up before they left. My brother reminded me that Jesse was my friend and that I could just not eat anything or if I ate a salad that wouldn't be the end of the world (we were going to a salad place) but I knew if I ate lunch I'd be more likely to eat dinner.

I know that I'm the one who's off base, as always, but it made me mad to hear my brother say those things. Yesterday he was mad at me since I was mad at him for buying a 1 pound bag of potato chips and NOT EATING ANY OF THEM, not until Jesse and I ate most of it. And I ate a lot of chips for lunch yesterday since he and Jesse went out. I don't think he should get mad at me for buying something he KNOWS I'd eat (yet never buy myself). I told him he should put the chips somewhere that I can't find them but he said he couldn't since mum won't allow food out of the kitchen. If he eats chips so sparingly, he shouldn't buy them at all. He bought them partially because we had a guest over, so I can understand, but it still wasn't necessary. In my dorm I almost NEVER buy snacks and I only bought a bag of chips once because I realize what a mistake it was after I consumed the whole thing in a day. I think it was a 6 ounce bag. I still remember it!

I hate how people are alarmed when I decide I "can't" eat and tell me to control my eating when I do. This is how I do it. Nothing reasonable has worked. Here's what has worked: eating a no-wheat vegetarian diet (which I did to ease into a raw food diet), eating a raw food diet, fasting, or eating just honey and water for a few days, or as long as I can bear. Since I gave up on the raw food thing after one and a half years, I've been eating...well, junk. Not the worst junk, but not that great either. Ever since coming off raw food I feel like i've been addicted to baked goods. Last fall I laid off the wheat and rice for about two weeks while having to do a diet assessment assignment for class and by the end I couldn't take it anymore.

My asthma is the worst it's been since before I ate raw food, my mucus is getting heavier, and I'M 19 YEARS OLD so this doesn't provide a very good look into my future as a wheezing mucus-filled adult.

I don't know why I can't just eat reasonably. I tend to eat more than normal people because I'm not satisfied but even when I feel like my stomach is going to explode, I still want to eat because something's "missing". Usually something sweet. I did the honey + water diet for days and I was relatively happy on that because what I usually want IS sugar. I also have a tendency to not drink anything because I rarely get thirsty, so eating honey was a sure way to get me to drink craploads of water. I'm not saying people should do this--I did it because I REALLY like honey. I've never even heard of people just eating honey for days, but I figured it would be a way to stop me from eating loads of food and not feel totally unsatisfied.

So why can't I do something like this now? I was in my dorm before where I could control the kitchen, ie, have nothing in it besides condiments and fruit (of course, my roommate had food; don't get me started on that) but now that I'm at home, in the SUBURBS, I'm surrounded by my family's food. My brother has a tendency to make his food last a millennium and my mum...well, she doesn't buy much stuff either but she did buy a pack of rugelach before realizing that she wasn't supposed to eat chocolate due to some kind of supplement she's taking. Good job. I ate a bunch of em even though I'd never buy rugelach (not that it doesn't taste good, I just prefer other things).

So it's a little past 3:30 PM and I still haven't eaten anything. I'm pretty sure I can last all day (actually, I think I'll end up eating honey...oh well). Guilt should keep me from eating anything. I'm annoyed with myself because I KNOW I'm the one at fault for staying home instead of going out with my brother and Jesse because I don't want to eat but they know that I have issues with food. My brother doesn't really care since he's slim and doesn't eat much. I'd be much better off living alone or in the city where I'd at least have to exercise. It's been more than 36 hours since I actually went outside. I'm surrounded by trees but I have no desire to walk around aimlessly just for the sake of getting some fresh air. If I felt more useless, I'd go back to sleep.

I feel better today. Thanks for the comments. :) I'm going to eat today because 1) my friend is leaving today and 2) I can do the honey eating thing tomorrow. It seems to work alright...I was pretty satisfied just eating honey yesterday. BECAUSE I LIKE MAH SUGAAAR. Sundays suck so I may as well do it tomorrow.

I've had weird eating problems every since I started eating cooked food, so I don't see this problem going away any time soon. I've been off the raw food diet for about 10 months now. Still got problems. Oh well.

Pancake time.

Dumpling Man has a Dumpling Blog! [via A Year In Food]

And hooooly moly, look at these photos of food in China. [via A Full Belly] My favorites:

• SCALLION PANCAAAAKE!
• glutinous rice is music to my ears...er, my mouth..er, nevermind
• Mm, dumplings

Hack.

Cough.

Wheeze.

12 hours later...

...wheeeeze.

Okay. When you start wheezing before you go to bed, triggered by a misplaced cough (well, most of them are misplaced), and you're still wheezing in the morning, you know you have troubles.

Just when I think most of my friends are pretty healthy, I find out that they were born with some kind of physical anomaly. "My hormones are screwed up." "My backbone isn't shaped correctly." "I'm allergic to every nut in the world, they will KILL ME, OH GOD THE NUUUTS!" Compared to them, my health problems seemed nonexistent.

My worst problem that I've had for my whole life as far as I can remember is asthma. There have only been two times in my life that I remember having to breathe through some kind of machine because it had gotten really bad (when I was little) and I stopped having to use my inhaler frequently ever since I moved from Taiwan back to the US (not that I used it a lot there, but I needed it to the point that it was a permanent resident of my school backpack). I don't think I've ever been near dying from asthma, although I still remember one time in 6th or 7th grade that I could hardly breathe while walking with my friend back to her apartment in Taiwan. Perhaps I was able to decrease my need for oxygen until we reached her home, where I immediately went for my inhaler. Or maybe the decrease oxygen did something to my brain cells. (That would explain a lot.)

So I'm pretty well off, even with the asthma. I don't have to take drugs for it or get any regular treatment. I was most asthma-free while I was a raw foodist, which was rather nice. Unfortunately, asthma has been coming back ever since I started eating cooked food. I guess it's not that cooked food causes asthma but by eating raw food, most food was cut out of my diet and I didn't eat whatever was most likely to cause my asthma.

The last time I had to use my inhaler was about 9 months ago when I was in England with my friend. Her health problems fully eclipsed my asthma, as she also had a bit of asthma, and food allergies, skin problems, maybe hair problems...but she functioned perfectly fine. I mean, we had great fun until we crossed the line from semi-health human beings to snot factories; we somehow both became incredibly mucus-filled and spent out nights incessantly blowing our noses and filling her miniature wastebasket (we could've used one of those huge kitchen ones) with mountains of used tissues. Sweet.

During that trip, I decided to stop eating biscuits and Shreddies (mm, Shreddies) since I figured that couldn't have been helping my asthma but do I regret eating the craploads of ...er, crap, beforehand? Not at all. So now I wonder if it's worth it to just go back to a mainly raw food diet and hopefully rid myself of asthma if that means giving up most of the food that I like along with any activities related to eating the food (like going on food hunts in NYC).

I'm thinking that it's not, but asthma is pretty annoying. I don't have it that bad, but here's what triggers my asthma:

• talking on the phone - Seriously, this triggers it most of the time, but not always. My mum said it's stress related since I don't really like talking on the phone, but there are people I like talking to that still trigger my asthma. I'll admit that I don't get asthmatic talking to my mum since I'm obviously comfortable talking to her. Don't think that you can't call me because I'll get asthma as it doesn't happen all the time, just more than 50% of the time.
• coughing - This usually triggers asthma but sometimes if I cough a lot, it with ultimately just dislodge all the mucus in my lungs (god, how much is in there?) and I'll breathe fine. But it takes a while and I feel crappy beforehand.
• cold weather - Walking in freezing temperatures tends to make breathing difficult, which I have such FOND memories of during 9th grade when I had to walk from the student parking lot with my brother to the school building, taking about five minutes and resulting in WHEEZING ROBYN by the time I got to French class.
• climbling stairs - Climbing a few flights, mind you. My house has a few stories, which doesn't do anything to me, but in school I can't seem to climb more than 3 flights of stairs without feeling like death by the time I get to the right floor. I feel lazy taking the elevator to the 4th floor, but oh well.

So today I'm just eating honey. I don't know what I'll do tomorrow. Obviously plenty of people function fine with a few health problems, but my friends and I are still young. Who knows what'll happen to use when we get older. I'd hate to become dependent on any drugs (I haven't taken any kind of medication in the pharmaceutical sense besides my inhaler in...years? As in, I don't take over the counter stuff like Advil or Tylenol--I've never needed it badly enough) so I guess I should work on my health now. Now that I think about it, that was the main reason I did raw food. Of course, weight was a huge factor but that was marginally behind the asthma and mucus-blob...thing.

My lungs feel okay now. I guess if my British friend and I hadn't been so physically incapacited we wouldn't have come up with the cry, "My lungs jiggle!", which would've been a real shame.

The setting at dinnertime (kind of like a second dinner):

Mum sitting across from me with sliced cucumbers and 12 pan-fried dumplings.

Me with a cup of water, a spoon, and a jar of honey.

Lovely.

Today I ate honey, raisins, and water. I didn't plan to eat the raisins but they were there. If I were in my dorm I wouldn't have raisins. But I'm at home. Oh well.

Someone go to the Fancy Food Show! [via Lovescool]

...I'll be in Jersey.

Last night I read the chapter of It Must've Been Something I Ate dealing with the bread competition in France, which of course made me want to feast on impossibly large amounts of baguettes and other basic wheat products. I could limit my bread intake to only when I'm within the borders of France, which means I'll never eat bread again. Hmmm.

So today I have so far eaten a navel orange and some raisins. Go me. Life is fun.

Bulldozers, in mah intestines.

...seriously, what is going on down there? Do you ever have weird gas that just moves inside you like weird balloons? Or bulldozers? And are you wondering right now why you're reading about my air-filled organs when you could be doing ANYTHING ELSE that would be more entertaining?

Oh well. Here's what I ate today:

• navel orange
• about 4 ounces of raw honey
• a few ounces of raisins (I didn't count...uh, crap)
• half a seedless watermelon (it was small!)
• about a liter of water

So I couldn't even stick to a diet that I MADE UP. My made up diet would've consisted solely of water and honey, but the raisins and watermelon crept in since they were lurking in my kitchen. My mum bought them, not me! Or not I. I? Me? Screw grammar. So I drank craploads of water without really realizing it (honey is great for people like me who just don't drink enough water) and then I ate the melon halve because it was in the fridge, being all like "Hey, I'm a melon. Eat me." Because melons have the ability to speak English, yes? Evolution is crazy, I tell you. Next thing you know, melons will have developed enough brain mass to realize that they actually don't want to be eaten. Then they'll grow legs and run out of the fridge and...wait, that's creepy. Now I'm going to have nightmares about melons with legs.

What was I saying? Oh yeah, somehow this combination of foodstuffs has made my intestines feel strange. This has happened before. At least I'm not wheezing.

Oh, wheezing. Well, I decided that being semi-miserable while restricting my diet was better than wheezing, which is what I think a "normal" diet would do to me. I have to admit, asthma was in low occurence when I just ate raw food. I'm not planning to go back on a raw food diet but I figure I should law low on FACE STUFF-AGE for a while. Maybe two weeks. I'll give it two weeks at most, unless I fail to lose weight or decrease the crap level of my lungs, in which case I'll just KILL MYSELF, because a life without pancakes just sucks.

Just kidding. No killing! Nooo! I'm fine. Har har! Laugh, dammit.

I guess I only have myself to be mad at.

I can’t help but get annoyed by my mum and brother when I come home from NYC after finally finishing my teacher’s website, CorinneTrang.com, rather glad that I managed to not drift off my diet and wander into the nearby Sullivan Street Bakery, and find foodstuffs from the great supermarket of many wheat-based delights that is Wegmans. They had gone to Minado for lunch, so I guess it was good that I wasn’t at home or else I wouldn’t have gone and would’ve just felt more miserable being at home, not stuffing myself at a buffet.

My brother bought chips, some weird cake and another nice looking chocolate cake from the patisserie and my mum bought a baguette. I had just read a whole chapter about bread and baguettes from France in It Must’ve Been Something I Ate shortly after deciding that I had to cut out grains from my diet, if just for a while (currently on day three). I was a bit annoyed by my mum’s bread purchase because we had recently talked about how wheat is very processed and is probably not such a great grain product to eat, resulting in my mum buying oats.

My mum and brother can basically eat whatever they want. They’re fairly slim and don’t have many health problems. They don’t exercise much but I guess they don’t eat too much either. I, on the other hand, have always been the sick, slightly overweight child. Lucky me. In a sense I’m not all that unhealthy, but then I have mucus filled lungs. Dammit.

The prospect of ridding myself of asthma, if just partially so, is what’s keeping me from eating tons of crap, besides hoping to lose a few pounds. On the third day of my diet that I made up, neither seems to be happening. I guess it takes a while though and I figure after three days, I’ll be pretty used to it. Here’s what I ate over the course of today:

• three navel oranges
• a few ounces of raisins (1-2?)
• 3-4 ounces of honey
• lots of water

I hope that doesn’t constitute as OVEREATING, nor is it drastically unhealthy. Not like I only ate honey all day and I certainly didn’t fast. From my experience, fasting will make me feel too woozy. I would’ve eaten more if I didn’t think I’d explode from all the liquid. I have to say, it is nice to not feel like puking from eating too much (although I had to pee a LOT).

I’m annoyed with myself, as I should count my blessings instead of looking at the bad things: I have working limbs and organs in general and I will never go hungry. But it’s too much food and I’ve had asthma my whole life and it’s really annoying and I can’t make it go away. And I don’t think I’ll ever come to grips with gaining so much weight after having “successfully” lost so much.

And I hate that my family can indulge in nice food, but whatever. It’s my fault for being bothered by that.

Actually, it’s my fault for being alive. What bothers me about being alive is that I didn’t ask for it. Of course, no one asks to be born and it’s ridiculous that I even complain about life despite having such an easy one. I’ve had few hardships in my life, or perhaps none. I just like to complain, I guess.

Yup.

…I don’t plan on having kids. Sure, a lot of people say that, but I feel like it’d be selfish. Besides that, I wouldn’t be able to provide correct parental guidance anyway.

I seem to lack basic human instincts, such as reproduction, hunger for normal food (eating is all mental to me), the desire to do things with other people, an affinity towards green things in nature, the need to get off my bum and walk around. What’s wrong with me? I mean, besides that I’m somewhat insane (although people have told me that I should stay that way; it makes me who I am, which is super).

God, food depression makes me think of a bunch of weird things. Lovely. Food is basically the only thing that makes me depressed, at least for the past few years. Other things made me depressed beforehand. There’s always something.

I got to sleep in late today! HOORAY! HOOO—

—and I get to wake up early tomorrow. Doh.

It’s probably a good thing that I’ve started using my laptop in my bed sans power cord since that means I have no choice but to leave my computer once my battery runs out. But my battery lasts four hours. Haha. Whoa.

If anyone’s curious, I feel fine today. I don’t mean to make people worried about my eating habits. Not that this is supposed to make you feel much better, but I’ve done worse stuff in the past, whether I fasted altogether for a day or two, ate only honey and no fruit for a few days, did that raw food thing (which wasn’t that great since I found out I could easily eat a pound of nuts in two or three days, which by the way isn’t very healthy) and …well, I guess that’s it. The first time I fasted when I got off my raw food diet, I ended up feverish. OOOPS. When you’re a raw foodist, it’s easier to fast.

This may not make you feel much better, but I don't take any drugs. I figure that'd be worse. Jeffrey Steingarten wrote a chapter about the wonderful properties of Fen-Phen and I can't imagine taking anything like that. If I had no concern about my health or were massively obese then I'd speed things along with some kind of drug. And when I say speed things along, I mean it'd probably kill me faster. Hmmm wait, maybe I do want that...JUST KIDDING! Yeah. I don't take any diet related medication (or ANY medication), hooray.

I know, the exercise thing. Why don’t I do it? Well. I thought walking for a few miles a day in NYC was a good idea (which is why I picked to live in the dorm farthest from campus for the second year in a row) but I don’t know if that exercise did much. Actually, it didn’t, but I felt like maybe it did. Exercise depends on who I do it with. Overall, the most fun I ever had exercising was during my two years living in Taiwan, but the most fun I had doing most things was in Taiwan because I was surrounded by the coolest people and went to the best school ever. That’s not something I can duplicate anywhere else. Actually, I must’ve disliked gym class in Taiwan but it must’ve been less so than in America. Gym class in Taiwan was purgatory but gym class in American was…(taps head)...Level 5. If it was worse than Level 5 I probably would have skipped class. I’m not a class-skipper.

And overall, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t exercise, I just hate it SO MUCH that I’d rather not eat. When you think about how much I like to eat, that’s a lot of hate, eh? I actually went to the gym for a short period of time during freshman year at Vassar but I obviously didn’t enjoy it very much or else I would’ve went back. My nutrition teacher told us that we should do an exercise that we like to ensure that we actually do it. As I dislike most forms of exercise (figuring stretching is not an exercise), walking is the onle reasonable thing I can think of.

However, last time our story picked off (what story, I don’t know), I was living in NJ and not NYC. As I look out my window, I see a huge ass evergreen tree and grass and pavement and more trees and wetness from the rain. Sweet. ...yeah, I’m staying inside.

I don’t think I belong in suburban NJ. I don’t MOVE, for one thing. The problem with NYC of course is that I’ll walk nearly an hour just to eat pancakes. It kind of defeats the purpose, no?

I guess it’s no surprise that people do this, but why do people get so concerned when I don’t eat a lot yet don’t mind if I eat way too much? I mean, the type of concern is different for each situation and I would act the same way too, if I actually knew anyone who didn’t eat much. I can’t think of anyone that eats too much or too little in a way that would badly affect his or her health (most people eat too much in this society, but they seem to be alright). I just want to know other people’s views about eating too much versus eating too little. In my mind, it seems more detrimental to health to eat less…actually, maybe not. It takes more EFFORT to eat less, especially in my case. It’s a conscious effort. It’s easy to eat lots of food so I guess it’s not very alarming. Or something.

Ahh I don’t feel like thinking about this for the time being. I had two oranges for lunch and I couldn’t eat much more than that even though I wanted to. It’s a good thing. I have this friend who said he can’t eat much because he’ll feel sick. I told him it was a lot better than NEVER feeling satisfied—he said it isn’t. He also drinks alcohol. I won’t get into that.

A little list:

• lose weight - I was about to say that maybe this was why I didn't have asthma as a raw foodist, but I had asthma when I was younger and not overweight.
• remove carpeting - I don't see this happening--my doom is carpeted and most of the house is carpeted. However, we are moving so I suppose that's good.
• don't eat dairy products - I guess this is easy to cut out, although I don't think I'm allergic to them.
• don't eat mucus forming foods - I guess that goes with the dairy thing. Mucus forming foods include refined flour products, which sugar, chocolate, and probably other things.

I don't feel like exercise has much effect on my asthma as I probably exercised the most in Taiwan, which was also where I may have had the worst asthma. Of course, the air sucks as well. Hm. Well. Something that doesn't trigger my asthma is cigarette smoke, which might be surprising. If the smoke makes me cough I think that's a different story, but I recall attending many concerts before the cigarette ban in NYC and not getting asthmatic. I hated the smoke, of course. Why is it that so many musicians smoke (besides the audience members)?

I had doubts about my weird raw food (ish) diet until I sneezed, thus sending my lungs into wheezing mode. I could taste the mucus (or the essence of it), which you can imagine is not very fun. From what I'm reading right now, water loosens mucus, so maybe it's not such a bad thing. I'm not coughing it out though, it's just...inside me. Eeeuh. I suppose it's better than the mucus is in my lungs than clogging my nasal passages though.

Here's what I ate over the course of the day (in maybe 4 meals; yup, I still manage to overeat even when I cut out most foods):

• 5 navel oranges
• about 4 (or more) ounces of honey
• half a seedless watermelon (a small one, the kind you can hold with one hand)
• lots of water

...yum. I picked the worst time to eat my dinner as that was the time my brother decided to eat dinner as well. He had pasta and tomato sauce and two slices of cake (two different cakes, that is). He didn't even notice that I was on a diet, even though it's been four days of me not cooking anything or eating anything cooked; he's that unobservant. Or rather, he figured I was "starving myself." Uh huh, definitely. That's why I ate a gazillion oranges.

(Sidenote: I hate it when my brother tells people that a good way to lose weight is to stop drinking soda. No shit. So what about those of us who already don't drink soda? I guess we're just doomed or something.)

My mum acknowledged that compared to her and my brother, I have a greater tendency to gain weight and my lungs are less cooperative with letting me breath properly. Alright. So I guess that means I shouldn't eat most of the things they eat? Yup. Which means I have to cut out most things from my diet? Yup. So no more wheat? Probably not. I have free reign in the vegetable kingdom, which isn't very exciting seeing as the only vegetable I really like, carrots, isn't friendly to my digestive system.

I do like lots of fruits but apparently bananas are too sweet. Also, I can eat craploads of them; once I ate eight (or was it more?) bananas in one day (they were free). If I am to cut out sweet fruit, that also leaves out dried fruit, which was actually my grain replacement while eating raw food. Why? I guess it was the chewiness and dryness factor; it kind of resembled bread. Okay, not really. I guess nuts were more for that but I'm way too prone to overeating that. Nuts can be addictive, like most foods..

Oh well, all this isn't driving me insane. It just kind of sucks. And it means no food photos in the near future.

Animated commercials for Japanese Kabaya snacks. [via boing boing]

These commercials are far more entertaining than a lot of the programming on television today. And they're pretty good at ingraining these snacks into the furthest regions of my grey matter. Good job, Kabaya.

...upon further reflection, these commercials resemble the crap that goes on in my head, and my that I mean the crap in my head is really nonsensical and WHY AM I ALIVE OH MY yes.

Another link: Meditours. Huh? Good god. Maybe it IS a good thing I'm trying to diet-out the bad foods in my life.

While I watched my mum cook dumplings in the kitchen, I decided it would be a good time to go to my room since I would not be eating dumplings and would rather not watch my mum eat those little fried wheat pockets full of...yummy things. Halfway up the stairs, the smell went from "normal" to "110% dumpling". I had hit the sweet spot of dumpling scent travel-age.

GOD DAMMIT, I CAN'T ESCAPE!

So I think I feel better today than few days ago, but it's a mixed bag. One difference: I ate cooked food! In the form of a stalk of broccoli marinated in some weird sauce that I made up and was hoping would taste good but instead just tasted weird (curry powder, oil, vinegar, then soy sauce in a last ditch effort to save it, not that it was awful but I may as well have just used no sauce). I still ate too much today, which is not a surprise:

• 5 navel oranges
• some…honey (maybe 4 ounces, I don’t know)
• 1 liter of water
• 1 stalk of broccoli (it varies, but I guess it was rather large and I ate a good portion of the stalk besides all the florets) in that weird extra virgin olive oil/apple cider vinegar/soy sauce/curry powder gloop I made
• 1-2 ounces of flax seeds
• a spoonful of sesame seeds (that’s when you know yer gettin’ DESPERATE)

The end. I don't expend much energy besides whatever it takes to type up blog entries and mess around in photoshop (hell, that might actually add calories) so it was a lot of food. I didn't really want to eat the honey but I didn't see much other choice for snacking (or I could've eaten more oranges). I drank the liter of water kind of quickly. Water consumption was not something I spaced out through the day.

I went food shopping with my mum today and all we got were 8 oranges and a loaf of bread. She ate the loaf of bread for lunch while I, on the verge of crying, watched her ignore the chewy crust opting to pull out the soft innards. Sigh. Anyway, I felt like crap shopping for food (seriously, my mood went from "okay" to "oh god get me out of this place" in a minute) so I guess I should avoid that (it was the only time I went outside today though; hooray for fresh air). All I saw was loads of food that I "couldn't" eat. My mum said I could eat rice since that's not really an allergen, but I should avoid it because it's starchy and starchy foods are doomful. :\

For a while some months ago I went on a no grain diet and some people were appalled (not really) that a Chinese person has stopped eating rice. OH MY! Well. I asked my mum how come Chinese people don't seem to get that fat despite all the Chinese food they eat yet I...do. She said it's just me (seriously, and I guess she'd know since she lived in Taiwan, although I did too for a while...and I was still the fat one) which means I can't just eat like everyone else. Sweet.

It's weird to think that a week ago I had eaten pancakes and ice cream for my main meal.

I'm not losing a whole lot of weight. I know you're not supposed to lose a lot per week but from my experience I have to eat very little food (or nothing) to lose anything. Yeah, obviously not eating anything will make you lose weight but first I have to stop eating so much, which isn't something that I accomplished today.

Maybe tomorrow I'll cut down. The broccoli wasn't really satisfying. It tasted good but I ate it for the sake of getting variety and to feel more full. I think I could've eaten another stalk, if I really wanted to (but I ate oranges and honey instead).

Do you know what it's like to feel empty and full at the same time? I can't explain it very well but it's like there's a sensor in my body that knows I'm full and it attempts to stop me from eating more, but it doesn't work and a few minutes later I'll feel fine anyway. But I guess it goes beyond having a satiated stomach; something else is missing and I don't know what.

Today I felt continually unsatisfied until I decided to dip a spoonful of raw honey into raw sesame seeds and eat that a few times. Mmm. Fat and sugar, that's all it is. In a sense, it's no different from any kind of dessert most people eat. But...

...holy crap, it's happening again--my room smells like dumplings! Meat dumplings this time, since my brother is making them. (sigh) This happened earlier today but they were vegetable dumplings since my mum was making them.

Here's what I ate today (hopefully, I won't eat any more):

• 3 navel oranges
• 2 red delicious apples
• 2-3 tablespoons of raw sesame seeds (I'm couting raw tahini, of which I found a jar of lurking in the fridge)
• 1-2 ounces of raw honey
• 1 stalk of broccoli w/extra virgin olive oil and soy sauce

Not really unhealthy, I'd hope. I got vegetables in there, some fruits, some fat, and my daily dose of sugar. Do I have any idea how many calories or grams of various nutrients I got? Not a clue. Oh well.

Yesterday I read a blog entry about How to Lose 50 Pounds. If I lose 50 pounds I'd be dead (probably skinned as well) but I looked at this and thought it probably wouldn't work for me. I'm sure that over the past week my fat intake averaged out to much less than 20 grams a day. Then again, I have yet to employ any kind of exercise routine. I took a walk this morning but it was so mindnumbingly boring (5 minutes felt more like 15), I don't see myself doing it again any time soon. Tun sky was much too clear with overly fluffy clouds; I had to get out.

If I have to eat at least 30 grams of fiber, I'd see that as reason to eat more than 30. That's easy; eat shitloads of fruit. I guess I'd explode at some point but using numbers as the guidelines would probably screw me over.

I've been thinking about my patterns of hunger. Or..."hunger", as I can't really identify it. When I'm at home (such as most of the past week), I tend to want to eat more. When I'm at my teacher's apartment, I don't want to bother her with food so I tell her that i'm fine and not hungry, because I'm probably not hungry. When I'm at home I'm not really hungry either but there isn't much else to do. (Visit my house and you'll see what I mean.) I take up most of my time by doing website stuff so I'm not exactly a couch potato, but I'm a computer drone (who gets into web design brain blocks innumerable times a day) and that's not much better. I suppose I use a smidgen more brain cells. That probably means i'll just burn out faster.

A few years ago when I went to Mexico with a friend, I was on the raw food diet and didn't intend to change my ways. And I didn't. I also lost a few pounds that week due to eating mainly fresh fruit and avocados (The avocados in Mexico tasted a lot better than the ones here, although I don't remember how...sweeter or something?). Since I wasn't with my family, I didn't dare complain about not stuffing myself with food and that was nice. I was satisfied with what I ate but I knew I could have eaten more. I guess when I'm around my family I'm more quick to complain about not having a certain food or wanting something else or just being annoying overall because I HAVE TO SMELL ALL THE DUMPLINGS THAT GET COOKED IN THIS HOUSE.

So I guess if I lived with another family for a few months I'd be much better off trying to follow my diet. I'd be much less annoying, at least, and I'd feel restricted enough to actually follow my diet. I still haven't eaten any grain (my brother asked if I wanted dumplings--yeah, he's totally clueless, I don't get it) but I've thought about it. And then I'd cough and wheeze and that would be the end of it.

This diet has made me very cranky, that much is true. It's not because of what I eat but because of what I don't eat.

I told my mum that there isn't much for me to look forward to each day when there's no prospect of eating something I really enjoy. She replied with the idea that my life was empty and there was nothing inside of me to drive me in any direction. Or something. I didn't really know what she was talking about. Obviously, I do like to do things besides eat (you don't want to know how much time I spent today looking up various web development and css related things, although I don't remember the time anyway) but web development is a solitary activity for me and it's...um, I sit in front of a computer for hours. Alright. Eating would cause me to do things with other people or actually go out.

...but this is for my health. It's not so much for my weight, although I was sad to see that it has stayed the same for two days. I definitely ate too much today, but eh. I'd love for my weight to go down, figuring that my asthma would get better also.

Always hungry...

They All Scream: Radar Online gets head pastry chefs and poor children to try uniquely disgusting ice cream flavors (haddock?!).