The Girl Who Ate Everything

Worlds colliding over Mister Softee. I'm the green pants-ed one. Or poop-colored-cardigan-ed one.

"Let's take a photo with him!" Kathy pled* after taking a quick glance at The Man Who Ate Everything himself, Jeffrey Steingarten. We happened to be at the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck the same time that Jeffrey decided to taste his way through their menu. Wattup, fortuitous timing.

"Okay!...you go ask him," I responded.

"Nooo, you should do it! I'm too shy"

What? No! I'm more shy. You're better at this stuff."

"Nooo, you do it."

"Nuuuuh, you do it."

"Mraahhblatgfoog!"

"Bluuurh mraah blaragh!"

Those last two lines aren't exactly verbatim, but after much back and forth the conversation may as well have dissolved into gibberish. With Jeffrey being occupied by more important matters (tasting ice cream, feeding his Mister Softee-loving dog Sky King, talking to the Big Gay Ice Cream men Doug and Bryan, chatting with another impassioned fan) and Kathy and I firmly keeping to our task of photographing Doug and Bryan's frozen concoctions before they could melt into dairy-based puddles, we never got a "real" photo with Jeffrey. But Doug thankfully took the above photo with his iPhone, and it's a far more amusing snapshot than I could've gotten with my dSLR.

I know I should be blogging more, guys. :'( And I'd like to. Because I LIKE YOU, DEAR READER. But the last week was particularly unproductive because 1) I've been so congested that my sense of taste has been sort of nonexistent, which doesn't really inspire me to write about food, and 2) I'm going to Honolulu today and had to prepare work for when I'm gone. There were many 5-hour (or less) nights of sleep this past week (not all work-related; mostly me being terrible at time management). I don't know how my brain is functioning now. I ought to go to bed in the next 15 minutes to get me in tip top shape for...my 10+ hour flight. Hm. We'll see how that goes.

Although I won't be on the Internet much during my trip (Kathy's house is so new, it doesn't even have Internet yet, ooooh), I'll try to post an update during the next week!

But before I leave, here's a quick lil' post.

Menu.

Although I first heard of Van Leeuwen when they started serving artisan ice cream out their sunny yellow trucks in 2008, I didn't run into one of those trucks until just a few weeks ago at the corner of 5th Avenue and 15th Street. Part of the reason I never sought it out was due to hearing mixed reviews: I heard more "mehs" than "yays." But considering how much the company has grown beyond just being an ice cream truck in the past few years—they recently opened a storefront in Greenpoint and they sell pints at Whole Foods at other gourmet food stores—I figured I had to give it a try.

Lil' bits of Honolulu.

I'm back from my awesome trip to Honolulu with Kathy! It'll take a while for me to blog it all—you can jump straight to the food porn by checking out my Flickr site—but to get things started, here's a little rundown of stuff that happened during the last week:

1. My site got hacked. So...most of you probably can't read this page at the time that I post it. Yeeeup. I've already cleaned out the spammy crap and asked Google to review my site again; now I'm just waiting for Google to take down the warning page. And then I'll try to ensure that that doesn't happen again.

2. My ol' Canon 20D died. :( Out of nowhere, the shutter went berserk, which doesn't seem to be an uncommon problem, although one that costs a few hundred dollars to repair. While I was looking to buy a less expensive camera, I ended up getting a new Canon 7D since that was the best choice (and the other camera I wanted wasn't available). And it feels super nice. Now I just have to make sure I don't smear fat and sugar all over it.

3. Kathy and I ate craploads of food. Like. A. Big. Fuggin. Crapload. You'd think that's sort of normal for us, but this trip took things to another level. You'll see.

4. Kathy and I spent a lot of time in the car listening to Top 40 radio, the result of which is that I'm sick of Jay-Z, B.O.B. Rhianna, and Lady Antebellum. Thanks for pounding their songs into my head, 96.3 FM. (I don't dislike all pop music, but there isn't a whole lot of it I want to listen to ten times a day. I do better with small doses.)

5. I met Marvo of The Impulsive Buy, Reid of Ono Kine Grindz, and Alan of ma'ona. Food bloggers, UNITE!

6. I saw more rainbows during my last day in Honolulu than I usually see in a whole year in New York.

7. I ate shave ice three times (ideally I would've eaten it more, but my stomach space was limited). Shave ice in Hawaii makes any shaved ice concoction in New York City look like a big ol' pile-o-frozen-crap. Someone here has to get their ice shaving act together.

8. I ate a bunch of different kinds of plate lunches and PLATE LUNCH IS THE BEST. OH GOD, why couldn't I have grown up in Hawaii? Rice scoop + meat pile = joy.

I owe a gazillion thanks to Kathy and her family for taking such good care of me over my vacation—mainly, feeding me well. My newest layer of fat is a result of TEAM EFFORT.

There's way, way, way more for me to talk about, but I'm going to stop because it's almost 3 a.m. and, as usual, I'm running on very little sleep. Real posts coming soon, hopefully.

I visited Honolulu with Kathy from May 9-16. Goal: Eat a ton. Goal status: ATTAINED! Now I just have to blog about it all. ...This may take a while.

Mm, turkey hotdog in dough.

After about 11 hours on the plane during which I ate two or three airplane meals (the only one I remember is the one I photographed), watched When In Rome (oh god, the things you'll watch when you're stuck on an airplane), bits of Ratatouille, three episodes of CSI, an episode of What Not To Wear, and whatever else Continental was able to grab their hands on for our viewing enjoyment (which wasn't a whole lot), I landed in the sunny, temperate bosom of Honolulu. And I was pretty excited.

But it wasn't until a promotional video narrated by Governor Linda Lingle popped onto all the TV screens in the cabin near the end of the flight that I got the super excited, "OH MAN, I AM ALMOST THERE, HOO MAMA!" feeling. She was all like, "Welcome to our beautiful beaches, our lush forests, our majestic volcanoes, our bagillion endangered species, AND WE HAVE RAINBOWS, oh boy do we have rainbows, just wait till you see them" (not her exact words, but it sounded like that in my head). She mentioned most of the things Hawaii is known for, except for one.

Food. Seriously, why do you think I went there?

...I mean, I did other stuff besides eat, but not a whole lot more. When you have one of the best food guides to Honolulu at your side, Kathy YL Chan, you take advantage of that knowledge. More important than going to Waikiki Beach or hiking was that I, with the help of Kathy, consume shave ice and plate lunches and sushi up the wazoo and malasadas and more varieties of mochi than I've ever imagined and pastries and things like that.

And it happened. But not on the first night. After I hopped in a car with Kathy, her sister Tiffany, and their mom, we drove to Kathy's grandma's house for a big home cooked family meal.

FOOD. With newspaper-covered table for easy clean up.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. The dinner was for Kathy's family (mom, dad, sister), her two cousins and uncle who live with her grandma, her aunt and uncle visiting from France, her grandpa, and me. And...her grandma, although she doesn't eat meat. But her food comes out great anyway; I think her husband acts as a taste tester.

I visited Honolulu with Kathy from May 9-16. Goal: Eat a ton. Goal status: ATTAINED! Now I just have to blog about it all. ...This may take a while.

I want one of these in my driveway too.

It was time. Malasada time.

What are malasadas? Short answer: Portuguese yeast doughnuts. Longer answer: Portuguese yeast doughnuts that make Kathy squeal with joy when she talks about them. If she were a cartoon character, the act of describing malasadas would cause her eyes to grow all saucer-sized and shimmery and her head would be surrounded by daggers of excitement. Like this:

...in fat bunny creature-form.

Leonard's Bakery.

She's repeatedly told me that the ones from the Punahou Carnival are the best, but since we didn't have a time machine to go back to February when the carnival took place, she brought me to Leonard's Bakery for my first taste of malasada-derived happiness.