The Girl Who Ate Everything

I keep wanting to update this blog; good knows I have enough fooding experiences to talk about. Alas, I haven't even optimized photos, nor have I written anything about that yummy butterscotch pudding I had two days ago. By the time I get around to it, I'll forget what I ate. Butter-wuh? My memory sucks, which is why I have a blog: to capture every minute, boring detail of my life. I can tell you that today I spent no money on food and didn't eat until 5:30 PM, but I managed to eat more than enough calories for the day by snacking on all those goddamn delicious chocolates and baklava and bread chunks aaaand I should probably get a stomach pump but I think those are for people who binge on alcohol, not sweets.

If you're bored out of your mind, feel free to read this not-very-well written essay about food production technology and its effect on human culture and whatnot. We were supposed to use two books and it only had to be 2-3 pages long. I wasn't worried about it until I realized I SUCK AT WRITING, not really a good thing to realize when you've been alive for 20 years and have to turn in an assignment the next day, AND you keep thinking about THAT UBER TASTY BAKLAVA, and all those websites you're supposed to update, and the pile of CDs you want to listen to but can't because your attention span is the length of half a micron, and ...goats...goats everywhere...and you have the Tetris song stuck in your head...

Wow, I'm going to bed now. Enjoy. Turning off comments because I'd rather not know what you think about this essay that I obviously didn't spend enough time on, yet I'm hypocritically putting it on a public website that anyone in the world can see. That's just the way I am.

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Producing Food In Order to Think Beyond Food:
The Impact of Changes in Food Production Technology on Human Culture

Bread. Cereal. Cookies. Cakes. Bagels. Muffins. You probably eat one or more of the aforementioned foods, perhaps on a regular basis. One thing they all have in common (besides being addictively delicious) is that they're primarily made of grains. Grain products are among the most convenient foods to eat today, but there was a time when bagels weren't so easy to make so that you could buy one off a street vendor and carry it in your mouth while haphazardly rushing to your next destination. Someone had to figure out how to take raw grains and turn them into a source of nutrients that your stomach wouldn't reject, along with how to cultivate grains so that one could grow them at will and not have to rely on wild crops. The switch from a hunter/gatherer lifestyle to an agricultural lifestyle brought upon many cultural changes, of which the existence of baked goods is just a tiny part of.

Gaining the ability to grow your own grains and have a supply of staple food enables you to actually stay in one place and settle down. No longer do you live to scour the land for an available food source provided only by Mother Nature. See that plot of dirt by your home? Learn to love it; that is your food source, or will be if correctly cultivated. While protohistoric people used to rub husked and winnowed grain back and forth to slowly make flour, they later discovered that a circular motion was much more efficient (Tannahill 75). Romans developed the rotary quern in which grain was ground between two large stones by revolving one of the stones around a spindle. Donkeys could be made to walk around in circles to power the querns, allowing the professional miller to increase his flour production and take on the additional role as a baker in the second century BC (Tannahill 76).

Donkeys obviously weren�t born with a propensity towards powering querns; humans had to domesticate animals to use them as they wished, whether as a food supply or sources of power. As a source of material goods, taming animals�sheep, goat, pig, and cow�provided meat, skins, milk, cooking fat, and dung (used for fuel and fertilizer). In regards to being used as sources of power, Tannahill says, �The farmyard animal became, in effect, humanity�s first power tool� (27). Animals could be used to push seeds into the ground, pull ploughs, and thresh grain. They were also used for transportation, allowing humans to travel more easily than before, not just out of necessity but also to conquer other nations (Diamond 91). In regards to food, by using animal power, crop production became efficient and lead to greater food supplies.

However, with too much crop production came the problem of over exhausted land. To solve this, farmers created irrigation systems to carry water farther inland and revitalize soil and crops (Tannahill 31). An unexpected effect of irrigation was the convenient �birth of civilization�; the development of irrigation systems required the expertise of administrative systems, which eventually grew into cities (Tannahill 31). The creation of administrative systems showed that successfully producing a great amount of food required the means of managing the food supply, another part of which was the invention of language. Language wasn�t used just for food related purposes, but the Sumerians�the first people to have a system of writing�used it in part to record export declarations (Tannahill 46). After accumulating enough information, they eventually wrote the Farmer�s Almanac as a reference book of agricultural knowledge (Tannahill 46).

The difference in influential powers between men and women is one social aspect that changed with the formation of civilizations. Before civilization men and women were politically equal, but afterwards, men gained most of the power. Tannahill explains this by reasoning that agriculture gave women more work by making them responsible for crop cultivation and grain production in addition to looking over the home. Men on the other hand were mainly left to tend to flocks, which gave them more time than women to think about issues that could improve life and went beyond everyday matters (Tannahill 32). The differences between tending crops and livestock may have led to the rift between the roles of men and women in today�s society (Tannahill 33).

The domestication of plants and animals and the technology associated with it made huge impacts on human civilization; civilization wouldn�t have been possible without it. Domestication meant that people could settle down and have larger families, a previously impossible task when constant movement was required to gather and hunt food (Diamond 89). Larger families were also possible because of greater food supplies, which led to food surpluses that could feed people who didn�t produce food. Since people didn�t have to become farmers to obtain food, they could focus on other areas of expertise, such as politics, art, writing, or religion (Diamond 90). Once humans developed food production technology that allowed them to go beyond a subsistence level, they could develop civilizations and cultures. That bowl of cereal you had for breakfast didn�t just come from a factory, but from thousands of years of agricultural and cultural development. Think about that the next time you dig into a bowl of cornflakes.

From the New York Times: In New York Schools, Whole Milk Is Cast From the Menu

Oh, a quite note: I'm afraid this is another food porn/review-less post. I won't blame you if you just glance over this and move on to more exciting things; I do that a lot, as I have the attention span of a goldfish. Today when I opened bloglines after getting home from school and saw more than 130 new posts in my "food" folder, staring at me, all pleading to be read (yeah, the Internet talks to me), I wanted to cry. Why, bloglines, why? I also wanted to clean up the folder to lessen future blog bombardment (blogbardment!...no), but I couldn't decide what to unsubscribe from. Trying to follow so many blogs is pretty useless as in the end, I end up reading just a handful of posts....

...such as apartment therapy's post about the milk ban in NYC public schools (there's another post on Gothamist). My first thought was, "Hm, that sounds kinda pointless." Then I thought about it some more (probably while noshing on chocs, being the health conscious person that I am) and it truly bothered me. While most of the country is probably pissed at Bush (well, I guess that's more like half; the majority did vote for him, right?...somewhere...oh, I didn't watch the State of the Union Address, so sue me), the removal of whole milk from little New Yorkers' hands is what pisses me off. To some degree.

I don't drink milk. It's not that I mind dairy products, but drinking a large class of cold (or warm) moo juice just doesn't strike my fancy. It kinda unstrikes my fancy, if there is suck a thing. What I wonder is that out of everything they could think to ban, they chose whole milk? Is whole milk really contributing to little New Yorkers' increasing waistlines? People have been drinking whole milk for thousands of years, and if it was good enough for my Neolithic ancestors, then it's good enough for me.

Yes, I know today's milk isn't quite like the "straight out of the cow's teat" fresh. I'd be interested in trying fresh, raw milk at some point; if the idea grosses you out, then is it alright for me to be slightly grossed out by the idea of drinking factory-farmed, processed milk? (I know this may seem hypocritical, as I eat a lot of processed foods, but there are "good" and "bad" versions of food products, which I'm sure you could figure out.) Although I'm not familiar with milk processing, I'd assume that whole milk is less processed than low fat versions. Some people drink low fat milk because they like the taste more; that's fine with me--it's not like I particularly like the taste of any milk, whole or with fat removed (or water added; how is low fat milk made?). However, if I had to drink a type of milk, I'd rather drink whole than low fat.

I used to rant about the healthfulness (or lack of) in milk; that's not what I plan to do in this post. It was always more controversial, than I would've liked resulting in people freaking out at me for blasting their beloved beverage. (In 9th grade, I did a report about why people shouldn't drink milk in my health class. After my presentation, people just...stared at me funnily. No one asked me questions, but they probably thought I was insane; obviously, you want to avoid contact with insane people. Thankfully, my health teacher agreed with some things I said, so I wasn't completely insane.) So all I'm saying is...uh...

...Crap, I forgot. Well. I just feel like if we're so damn concerned about the health of today's youth, much better things could be done than removing whole milk. (I know some schools have banned soda and junk foods. I have no statistics as to how much of an impact those changes make, but I wouldn't oppose them. During high school I was pseudo horrified to see classmates drinking Coke at 8 AM. And then there was that time two of my classmates were throwing cigarettes across the room, but I guess that's a different problem.) Maybe change menus around to incorporate healthier foods and take out heavily processed foods. Don't get me wrong--I understand the logic behind recommending that people drink low fat milk instead of whole milk; I just disagree with it. I also understand why schools can't fill their cafeterias with organic and locally grown food, but maybe someday they'll be reasonable options.

In the meantime, I can't say I'm taking any action. I'm insanely passive. Insaaane. Lazy. (sigh) My rant is pretty meaningless unless I actually do something about it.

However, I just wanted to ...possibly raise an issue in readers (like you! *points*) that they wouldn't usually think about. Surely there are stupider things in the world than banning whole milk, but I'm just choosing what interests me. That's why I have a blog. Mwahahahaa.

Just some final thoughts not to wrap things up but because this blog isn't edited in any professional means: When I was in elementary school, I only drank chocolate milk every so often. Because...it was chocolate. Technically you were supposed to pay for milk in the beginning of the year (or send in a form saying that you wanted it) but there were always loads of leftovers, so I'd sometimes nick a chocolate milk for meself. However, I'd rarely even drink those; I was under the impression that milk would give me mucus.

My dairy consumption was low growing up, but I wouldn't say my health suffered because of it, despite what the American Dairy Association would like me to believe (you know, that my arms and legs would just turn to dust and my brain would atrophy and yadda yadda). Many of you probably know that milk products don't play a large role in Asian cuisine. One popular theory for this is that a large percentage of Asians are lactose intolerant. I call this a theory because we've discussed the lack of dairy in Asian culture (Southeast Asia, more like) in some of my classes and...I'm too lazy to sum them up, which makes this paragraph rather useless. Here's a random observation: people in Taiwan really like ice cream. Hell, it's hot, why wouldn't they like ice cream? Taro ice cream! Oh baby.

...wow, does my mind wander or what?

Uh. Oh yeah, milk. If you're a milk aficionado then feel free to share some knowledge. My problem with milk is "real" milk versus factory produced milk. These qualms can be extended to meat and produce. I'm not saying I don't ingest big agribusiness-produced food (hellooo mysterious Chinese pork/meat/chicken products), but I think it's good to know about what other options are out there, if you have access to them.

"They're so...nice here."

"Yeah, that's their thing."

Kathryn and I went for another round of Restaurant Week 2006 (which is more like Restaurant Weeks, but whatever) this past Tuesday at Union Square Cafe. Restaurant Week ended today so if after reading my review you decide you want a $24.07 prix fixe lunch, you...can't. I'M SORRY. SO. SORRY. STOP LOOKING AT ME WITH THOSE PUPPY DOG EYES.

Union Square Cafe easily won me over better than DB Bistro Moderne, which Kathryn and I ate at last Tuesday. (It helps that USC's website doesn't blast music; if you wanna get on my bad side, interrupt my solitude with BLARING TRUMPETS.) While both restaurants had great food, USQ felt much more relaxed and welcoming compared to DB's...uh...stuffiness and loud decor involving monsterous flowers. USC is apparently known for their extremely nice service. If you want me to remember your place, you either have to offer mind blowingly delicious food (I won't forget DB's frozen vanilla plop, nuh uh) or offer good service. Preferably, you'd have both. I wouldn't say that USC's food was mind blowingly good (not that I'd want something to be so tasty that my brain explodes upon registering the sensory delight imparted on my tastebuds...or do I?) but it was better than most food I've had and didn't disappoint. (I suppose I could say it was pleasing instead of saying it didn't disappoint, but "pleasing" sounds so...fluffy. Like a mound of puppies. ...Wait, puppies are awesome! Nevermind.)

Union Square Cafe

USC opens at noon, which was the time when a gazillion people, besides ourselves, made reservations. Over the course of our meal, more people came in just to wait to eat at the bar. Popular place? Yes'm.

bread, butter, and olives

Ah, ain't nothing more comforting than a basket overflowing with wheat-based goods, accompanied by a slice of churned milk. I'd seriously eat that every day (maybe include some honey for when I want to be fructosified) if I didn't think that would result in a carbohydrate coma. When I was little, most restaurants I went to provided bread baskets (they were mainly Italian), thus I always expected it. These days I rarely go to a restaurant that provides a bread basket, and it's probably for the best since bread is delicious and filling. So delicious. So. Delicious...

...Dude, we should have bread bars! People can get some kind of bread medley, akin to a cheese plate, with an assortment of olive oils or other dipping sauces (check out 101 Cookbook's olive oil tasting post; I actually read the whole thing, hot damn). And they can have...cake if they want. And chocolate. And...I guess that's almost like a bakery. Damn, I'm slow.

bread basket

One of the best things in the bread basket was actually the flatbread. Kathryn and I agreed that it was like a giant Saltine, but hopefully better. (Don't we love Saltines? I LOVE SALTINES. So boring, yet so tasty.) She also informed me about the existence of Saltine eating contests guys have in college. Huh? I've never heard of that before, but apparently it's fun to watch guys suffer at the anhydrous hands of simple little crackers.

garlic potato chips

We ordered a side of garlic potato chips since that's one of USC's signature dishes. The flavor was just right--not too subtle or strong, but erring more on the side of subtle. Like any potato chip, they were crispy, although I suspect if left out too long they might become limp. Of course, there's no reason they would be left out too long because YOU'D EAT THEM ALL. I pride myself on being able to eat craploads of potato chips (they were one of the first junk foods I ate coming off the raw food diet and I recall saying something like, "Jesus, these aren't potato chips, but pure crack") but I couldn't stuff these down my hole like I would while mindlessly ruffling my hand through a bag of Kettle Chips, turning my hand a nice shade of oil in the process. You should think about these potato chips while you eat them. Eat slowly. Chew. Chewing is good. These chips are good. I wasn't completely enamoured by them, but I rarely eat savory snacks so I'm not one to judge.

Apple, Caramelized Onion & Thyme Risotto with Taleggio and Parmigiano-Reggiano

And out comes the appetizers (you know, after we ate a crapload of bread and potato chips). After tasting a bite of Kathryn's "Apple, Caramelized Onion & Thyme Risotto with Taleggio and Parmigiano-Reggiano" (ACOTRTPR...damn, that's too long), one word came to mind: creamy. If I could extend that to two words: uber creamy. I've never had real risotto before, but my assumption is that this was some really good risotto. Creamy with a strong cheese taste, but not in the offensively cheesy sense. Hearty cheesy? Earthy cheesy? I don't know how to describe it exactly, but it was good, so what else do you need to know?

This photo didn't suck too much, meaning I can bust out the medium size and fill up the screen

My "Roasted Chestnut-Polenta Cake with Pancetta, Mushroom & Fris�e Salad" (RCPCPMFS...wow, that didn't acronymize very well) was new to me, as I've never had real polenta. (When I say I haven't had "real" risotto or polenta, I mean that I've had something like that from a cooking class, which obviously doesn't count because we didn't really know know what we were doing, harhar!) The triangular polenta cake had a crispy surface and soft innards (which I'd compare to something else in order to better describe it, except all I can come up with is "polenta", which isn't helpful because it is polenta. The consistency reminded me a bit of the buffalo milk yogurt I had today and thick mashed potatoes; I'm sure that doesn't help you at all) with embedded chestnut bits. Sadly, I forgot what the sauce tasted like, which means it must've been pretty subtle. I think it may have been a little sweet, but I don't remember much else. I don't know what kind of mushrooms were sprinkled atop the polenta, but they were...you know, mushroom-y. Small. Soft. Cute.

Grilled Beef Sirloin Skewers with Spinach-Gorgonzola Bread Pudding and Pickled Onions

I tried a plump, juicy beef cube off of Kathryn's skewer along with a bit of the bread pudding. The pudding may have perhaps been a little too strong in the cheese department to eat by itself, but I liked it, maybe more than the beef. I like beef but would it surprise you that one of my least favorite forms of beef is in a steak? I rarely ever eat steak and couldn't even tell you the last time I had it. The beef cube was steaky. I guess if I had to have steak in any form, cubed would be optimal (because that means I wouldn't have to cut anything, bwahaha).

Roasted Monkfish with Lentil-Mushroom Rago�t, Preserved Meyer Lemon, and Rocket

I was very happy with my entree; fish rarely fails to please. I suck at cooking but even I wouldn't mess up fish too badly (I once pan fried a filet but moved it around too much, resulting in less "fish filet" and more "fish that look like it got mauled by a weedwhacker"). The monkfish was unlike any other fish I had eaten, not because of the fish's flavor but because of how it was cooked. The surface was lightly crispy, almost airy, and the inside was...normal fish consistency. It was the crust that I really liked. My other favorite part were the bits of preserved Meyer lemon. They were only a few bits on the plate, but the chef obviously knew that one only needed a miniscule piece to flavor something that is comparatively 5000000 times larger. Fish bit + lemon bit = deliciousness. The lentils and rocket were fine, but it was the fish and lemon I remembered best.

Coffee-Cocoa Nib Fudge Cake with Kahl�a Whipped Cream

I didn't try Kathryn's dessert since as you can see, it contains two Robyn no-nos: coffee and alcohol. I'm sure it was delicious...to someone without my taste buds. Kathryn liked it.

Butterscotch Pudding with Chocolate Chip Blondies

I've rarely ever eaten butterscotch pudding or blondies in my life, so this was a good opportunity to try something new. The pudding didn't have a gloppy, Jell-O style consistency, but something more like flan or creme brulee. The flavor wasn't strongly like butterscotch, but in all honesty I probably have no idea what "real" butterscotch tastes like, so..nevermind that.

I ate it

I smooshed together bits of the creme fraiche with the pudding while eating it, down to pointlessly scraping down the remnants. Why do I do that? It's futile! There's nothing left! Just don't lick the inside of the ramekin...NO LICKING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! (Don't worry, didn't lick it. I really liked the pudding, but not to that degree.)

blondie

I'm pretty sure by this point that I just don't like blondies. They're not bad, and there wasn't anything wrong with USC's blondie bits, but all blondies (that I've eaten, which I guess hasn't been very many) share one fatal flaw: they're not brownies. I don't like all brownies, but they have the advantage of boasting chocolateness. I don't know what blondies have going for them. Sorry.

So that was the end of our roughly one and a half hour lunch. While I can't say my brain exploded with deliciousness, it was really good and one of my most enjoyable eating experiences in NYC, something I'd recommend to other people. The couple at a table next to us had ordered platters heaped with fries and scary-huge burgers along with two sides of macaroni & cheese and mashed potatoes. Oh my god...I know what I'm getting next time. Who's with me? You should've seen their spread; people around them were laughing (with them, not just...at them) because of the ridiculous amount of food.

After lunch, we wandered around until we ended up at ABC Home and Carpet to check out Michel Cluizel's section of the store. I wasn't in the mood to eat anything (GASP, STOP THE PRESSES) so I didn't buy anything. I guess I'll talk about it when I get the chance to actually eat one of their desserts.

Unrelated to last Tuesday, but still on the topic of food (obviously!), last Saturday I went to Diana's house for a Cantonese Chinese New Year's Eve dinner. My family wasn't big on CNY while I was growing up, or at least I don't recall eating anything special. The culmination of the holiday's excitment was when my parents handed my brother and me red envelopes full of cash, which I considered to be one of the perks of being Chinese (I haven't figured out the other ones yet). I was happy to join Diana's family for something homecooked and celebratory, after hinting to Diana that I had nothing to do and if she didn't invite me I'd stay alone in my room, huddled in the corner of my bed, suffering from Chinese food withdrawal while nearby Chinatown was a-hopping with hoards of Chinese people, through the power of consumerism and superstition, buying loads of junk to bring prosperity and luck in the New Year.

HAHA, just kidding. I think.

too much food

There's the spread. Altogether there were maybe nine people; Diana's mum made enough food for 20. Wow.

FISH!@#*&!#$

My favorite dish was easily the steamed fish (or "FISH!@#*&!#$"). I love a good simply steamed and seasoned fish. Maybe it's the mercury.

HAHA, just kidding. I think.

I'd say more but my roommate is going to bed soon. Yes, it's about 12:30 on a Friday night/Saturday morning. Even though she won't gouge my heart out with a stick if I stay up too late, she'll probably want to, thus this is where this entry ends.

sure is

Since my Food Science and Technology book is used, it has some highlighting and scribbled notes in the margins (I've deduced that the former owner was female since I've rarely seen a guy with such neat, loopy handwriting). The note about the food pyramid being more influenced by government and money than science amused me, not because I don't think it's true, but because the student was driven to highlighting the scathing lie and leaving a note for the next student, perhaps in some underground attempt to raise awareness of our faulty food pyramid. In my most subversive state, I will question the validity of our government's nutritional guide. Look out...Bush, I'm a-comin'!

I was forced to learn about the food pyramid in my fall 2004 nutrition class. The next semester, the food pyramid had undergone a transformation into this colored stripe thingy featuring a humanoid with really pointy arms and legs that render them useless for doing...um, anything, besides spearing trash or impaling enemies, barely resembling the pyramid I had grown up with. Good god, what did I learn all that serving crap for? If I thought the food pyramid sucked before, the new one seemed worse.

So...um, that was just a digression. Some people were surprised when I told them there was a new food pyramid, which isn't really that new anymore, not that it really matters because I don't think I ever followed the food pyramid that closely.

salad bar

I did try to be a little healthy last Friday. A smidge. For instance, do you see that salad, all colorful and glowy from the sunlight? It's salad! It has vegetables, which in turn have things called "fiber" and "nutrients" (and "phytonutrients")! And I ate it! I don't usually choose to eat salad, but Life Thyme's salad bar is the kind I actually like. It's not just a bunch of lettuce with some boring toppings and boring dressing. Holy crap, there's other stuff! Broccoli, beans, lentils, peppers, dried tomatoes, pesto, zucchini, etcetera! I mixed together maybe five different salad choices and liked all of them. I wouldn't be able to tell you specific flavors, but...um...I liked it. Saying "I liked it" means there was nothing bad about it. That's good.

Buffalo milk yogurt

I also had a slight craving for yogurt after all that dairy discussion the other day, but I also wanted to try a yogurt I never had before. Out of the shadows of the dairy case popped the words WATER BUFFALO and other mouthwatering words like OMEGA-3 and PROBIOTIC (yeaah your mouth is watering), decorated with a drawing of the water buffalo from whose juice would be turned into a coagulated mass held in a plastic cup to someday be stared at by a confused college student.

TANTALIZING! Kinda? Yeah, okay.

I ate it

It was so good! As you can see, this isn't gloppy pudding, but more custard or mousse-esque without being either one. ...Because it's yogurt. It wasn't too sweet, tart, or heavily flavored, just balanced, and I was a big fan of th texture. File this under "things I'd buy again".

One reason I ate healthily for lunch was because I knew I wouldn't for dinner (oh ho ho, did you think I'd eat healthily just cos?). After work I headed to the Upper West Side to meet up with Wei, starting at Saigon Grill and afterwards eating dessert at Cafe Lalo.

Something I didn't know about Saigon Grill was that it's frickin' huge, immediately reminding me of large chain restaurants (Outback, Macaroni Grill...) in suburbia. The reception desk is lined with flat monitored computers and...um, people at the computers doing stuff. Taking 50000 orders and keeping things running, I suppose. Wei and I were taken to a somewhat cramped room (although I guess the whole place, despite being huge, is kinda cramped...because it's FULL OF HUMANS) in the back that seemed to pop out of nowhere. They just conjure it up when the place is full and no customers can be terminated to make more room.

Cho Gio

We started with the cho gio, "Vietnamese crispy fried spring roll filled with pork, shrimp, mushrooms, clear noodles, taro root, and turnip, served with lettuce, fresh herbs, and Nuoc Cham sauce." Sounds good. And it was. I was most interested in the taro part, which I tasted a hint of. The spring rolls were crispy (duh, they were fried, but ...they were freshly fried) and easy to eat due to being cut in half. I didn't know until now that the thin, sweet and spicy sauce that accompanies many Vietnamese dishes is called nuoc cham; I may be compelled to actually make the stuff. But I won't, because I suck at cooking. I will gladly accept any buckets of nuoc cham you happen to have lying around.

basil pork

Since I didn't know what to order, I went with basil pork. Don't ask me how "not knowing what to order" turned into "basil pork"; I had a taste for pork, resulting in the moutain of sliced meat that I was presented with. Meeeat. So much meat. Glistening meat. I was a little overwhelmed by the pile of meat and a little underwhelmed by the taste of the pile of meat. It wasn't bad (fine for the price, which is why I'd see myself coming here if I lived in the area), but it didn't do much for me. For something called "basil pork", I didn't think it had enough basil, and there were just so many other ingredients in the dish that I thought it was...a lot. There were slices of tofu in the dish, and while I don't dislike tofu, I would've rather had a tofu-less pork dish. I did like the crispy lotus root slices though and ate most of the dish; it wasn't bad, but it's not something I'd be compelled to eat again.

something with shrimp

Wei ordered something with shrimp, which resembled my dish in the "oo, it glistens!" department. It looks like it has some of the same vegetables too. ...Perhaps they're close cousins.

I think I would've liked Saigon Grill better if I had gotten something else. Carol gave me some suggestions, but when I was thinking, "Should I get something I'm sure I'll like, or something different that I might like?" I went with the latter thought. Sometimes the first thought turns out well, but this time the result was, "Ohhh...I get to eat this pile of pork now." And I do like pork, but only in certain forms. For instance, the grilled pork from Cong Ly was AWESOME, OH GOD, I WANNIT (sobs). Carol did recommend the grilled pork to me...dammit.

Cafe Lalo

Near Saigon Grill is Cafe Lalo, a place made more famous, I think, through its appearance in You've Got Mail. (When we got there, a woman asked me to take a photo of her and her friend outside the front door. When we left, other people were taking photos outside the front door. PEOPLE REALLY LIKE TAKING PHOTOS OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR.) I also heard about it from a handful of friends who recommended it to me. Wei had been there before and was more neutral towards it, but since I had never gone and THEY SELL CAKES AND STUFF, I obviously had to try it out and form my own opinion.

lots of baked goods

busy?

The place was packed, but we were seated after a few minutes since the human turnover rate is fast. Lighting is bright, conversation is rampant, and music is loud. Music is louder when it's the soundtrack to Moulin Rogue. So far, a fun place to hang out, but it might be hard to hear the person sitting two feet away from you depending on how crowded it is. Our initial conversation mainly revolved around WHAT THE HELL DO I ORDER, because their menu is ginormous, offering more cakes, pies, tarts, and cheesecakes than I've ever seen in any other place before. I'd see one thing that looked good, but then my eyes would drift to another thing...and back to the first thing...then to another unrelated thing...and then I'd think I decided on something, when in fact I dad MISSED SOME OTHER DELICIOUS OPTION, resulting in brain overload and the inability to go back to school because my brain was wiped out by a menu with too many dessert choices.

pecan chocolate drizzle

Wei ordered the pecan chocolate drizzle tart after the sticky nut truffle cake appeared to be nonexistent (it appeared to not exist...yeah, I'll try not to use that phrase again). It was a good choice. Nothing wrong with this tart. It had a good layer of...whatever goes into a pecan tart (brown sugar?) topped with a layer of pecans and...yes, drizzled with chocolate. Mmm.

hazelnut torte

Like at dinner, instead of ordering something I was sure I'd like, I got something kinda random. It wasn't so random that I wouldn't have any idea what it would taste like, but I didn't really know what it was. Hazelnut torte caught my eye because although I wasn't really sure what a torte was, I figured that it must be good (because ALL CAKE IS GOOD, yes?). While the free dictionary defines a torte as "a rich cake made with many eggs and little flour and usually containing chopped nuts," I don't think Cafe Lalo's resembled that description. It was pretty light and not rich at all, although it may have had chopped nuts.

More perplexing than the bland cake texture was the top layer of viscous goo. Acting as some sort of glue for the cake to stay attached to the plate, the strength of its adhesion was slightly unsettling. I was wondering why the cake was on its side, but when I attemped to lift it upright with my fork, I couldn't move it because of the viscous goo, which you can see from the photo was just a thin layer. Someone please tell me if the viscous goo is supposed to be there. Perhaps it could have other uses, like holding planks of wood together, attaching photos to a wall, gluing squirrels together beacuse you have weird hobbies, but on top of cake? Hm. I don't really remember what it tasted like, so it wasn't really bad, but ...I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS, and that disturbs me. Overall, I wasn't very into the cake, including the chocolate crushed-nut-filled diamond on top. The cake and cream were okay, but nothing I'd ever prefer over a chunk of whipped buttercream frosting-slathered cake from Sugar Sweet Sunshine. I think I expected more because I heard good things about the place and the cake cost $6.50 a slice (which means I ate the whole thing, haha...ha). Maybe I should've done more research beforehand as to what I should order.

We wandered to Alice's Tea Cup and surprisingly weren't really in the mood for the tempting cupcakes, scones, or cookies (GASP, horror, I know!). Dinner and dessert were fun, but just okay; I just feel like I ordered the wrong things. If you have dissenting opinions about Saigon Grill or Cafe Lalo, feel free to chime in.

[voice lowers by one octave, like those freaky voiceover dudes in movie trailers who speak with a frequency that causes "organ rumbling"]

Deep within the bowels of Chinatown, near the supermarket mauled with people buying fresh produce of undoubtedly non-organic and non-local origins, snuggled between other markets of questionable sanitation standards as old dudes pass by and hawk up loogies, lies a kingdom. It's kind of small and unimpressive, but it's still a kingdom. I think.

...

....

.....

THE KINGDOM OF PANCAKES! I kid you not. While on the NYU bus rolling up Allen Street at 8 AM, I noticed that the sign for "LUCKY DUMPLING HOUSE" around Division and Canal Streets had been rebranded into "THE KINGDOM OF PANCAKES". Considering the early time (thus, my pseudo-comatose state), it's very possible that I misread the sign. Maybe it said "THE KLINGON OF PARAKEETS" but I highly doubt that.

Of course, these pancakes can't be the fluffy golden discs you find in American diners. I guess they're like...Chinese pancakes, which is alright but not nearly as cool as a kingdom awash with pancakes and maple syrup.

So. Um. What's the deal? Someone go there and tell me what the deal is, or else I may have to go there myself. But come onnn, I'm too lazy for that crap.

Annnnd now I have class (alas, not food related) so I'll leave you to mull over this PANCAKE KINGDOM (up for sale!) and I'll have a more food review centric post later.

Shopsin's (photo taken last summer)

Last Saturday I met up with Joe at Shopsin's, the legendary "this menu is too freakin' huge" restaurant that has a list of "rules" (no parties larger than 4, or else someone will have to die), kitschy decor and FREE CANDY. Calvin Trillin wrote a great article in The New Yorker about the restaurant a few years ago, but alas, Google is failing me and I can't find it right now. EH WELL. (edit) which you can read on their website (thanks santos).

We stared at the menu for possibly 15 minutes. Or longer?

"Should we get pancakes?"

"...I dunno?"

"French toast?"

"...I dunno?"

"Combination plate?"

"...buh..."

"How about a milkshake?"

"Sure!...Which milkshake?"

"Whatever you want."

"...I dunno? Well. We definitely need ebelskivers."

"Sure. Still need something else though."

"...Real food? Hell, I would just eat desserts."

Gee, guess which one I am. You know I just made that all up, right? However, if you replace the ellipses with drawn out Uhhhhhhhhs, you can recreate "dialogue with Robyn" to 99% authenticity. It's just that exciting.

We decided to share an avocado milkshake (more of a curiosity than a craving for mashed avocado and dairy products), an order of sliders (small burgers, in this case with cheese and onions) with fries, and whipped cream-smothered apple ebelskivers. Does that sound like a weird order? Well. You're wrong! It's perfect and so damn tasty. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT. We rocked at composing a meal out of the pseudo incomprehensible menu, yes.

avocado milkshake

Our light green milkshake was brought out in a frosty metal tumbler along with two paper cups and straws for sharing. The indentations from ghostly froth-bubbles excited me (because it really doesn't take much to excite me...ooh look, a squirrel!!!); I had the feeling this milkshake was gonna be goooood.

avocado milkshake pouring

AHH, LOOKIT IT POUR! YAY, waterfall of milkshake! If only that were real. ....Man, that'd be pretty disgusting. But it would be cool for a while, yes? "Milkshake Factory Explosion Causes Waterfalls and Rivers of Milkshake: Everyone Rejoices. Today's Advice Column: Where To Buy Gigantic Buckets to Fill With Milkshake."

So, what does an avocado milkshake taste like? Not avocado. Not not avocado. Not...not...not not not. I can tell you for sure that it's really good, a little fruity, perhaps melon-esque (that's all I could come up with). Besides the "somewhat unidentifiable, but I think fresh tasting" flavors, the texture was one of the best I've ever tasted. It wasn't so thick that you'd suffocate trying to suck it through the straw, but it wasn't so thin that it was like flavored milk (those made me sad). It wasn't heavy, just rich enough to wrap your insides in ...delicious...milkshake...in my belly...

...

...I'm probably making it sound better than it actually was, but I really enjoyed it to the point that I'd order it again. I'm actually sad because if I went back to Shopsin's, I'd feel the need to try a different flavor (seems liked it'd be dumb not to), while all I'd really want is the avocado. Surely, the avocado plays a part in the milkshake's texture, being all full of tasty fat. Mmmmmm, faaaat. Yes'm.

I'm going go to talk about something else now. Food! Yes. Real food. Food that resembles the "solid" state of matter more so than the "liquid".

sliders and fries

Joe's recommendation to get the sliders was a good one. I rarely eat hamburgers, not because I don't like them, but because I'd rather eat something else (and such is the case for many tasty foods). The last time I had anything resembling a slider was when I was a wee little girl and my mum--for some reason not having to do with motherly love--tortured me with lunches of frozen White Castle Burgers. Yes, she prepared them so that they were at least room temperature (and by "prepared" I mean "nuked"), but I can still remember looking at the tiny sandwich containing a limp, gray patty, topped with some onion-y substance because god knows that would make the patty taste better. I doubt she gave these to me for very long, but the experience was harrowing enough for me to remember it; hell, I don't remember stuff that happened yesterday, yet the memory of frozen White Castle burgers is taking up valuable space in my memory bank, currently with a balance of -$19902132.898noodle.

slider innards

Oooh, these were some good sliders. The meat was juicy and flavorful (...well, it had to taste like something) and the bun was...I swear, "cute". Yes. Cute. Soft and fluffy equates to cuteness, and the bun was soft and fluffy. Trust me, I wish I had a better description of it too. I keep meaning to flex those nonexistent "food review" muscles, but then I remember that flexing requires movement, which doesn't fit into my closely regulated regiment of "sitting around".

sliders...from the side

Oh, no funky onion-y substance here. Real onions! Processed cheese! Together as one! Even though the onions were spilling out of the little burgers, they were somewhat held in place by the cheese, thus making for a tidy slider-eating experience.

apple ebelskivers

I don't remember how many ebelskivers came to one order, but there were definitely enough. One word of advice: get the whipped cream on the side., if at all The whipped cream melted over the fresh hot ebelskivers, forming bubbly rivulets over the convex ebelskiver surfaces and creating an unintentional sweet, creamy bath for the ebelskivers. (Mm, whipped cream bath...wait, that's disgusting! Is it? Wait. Lemme think about that one.) The whipped cream died right before our eyes. Oops.

inside the ebelskiver

The ebelskivers were kind of like tiny pancake dumplings with little apple chunks. Do you like pancakes? GOOD. (I know you said "yes" because if you didn't, you'd...be evil. I know you're not evil.) You will like ebelskivers. Bite-sized pseudo-pancake is what the world needs. That, and peace. And less McDonald's...s.

I'd be perfectly happy eating a meal of milkshake, burger, and ebelskiver all over again. The food is probably artery clogging, but hey, we're all gonna die someday. [thumbs up]

free candy

And with a pick from the "free candy" shelf, we went on our merry way. To...

cookie display

Milk & Cookies! Where'd you think we'd go? A place that doesn't serve food? Vomitorium? Need food! No vomiting! (I think we both felt rather comfortable stomach-wise after Shopsin's. Not that the food was healthy in way way, but it wasn't that heavy [okay, that's debatable] and we didn't eat a crapload so that our removable from the restaurant would require smelling salts and a lift truck.)

ginormous fortune cookies

As Milk & Cookies specializes in cookies, they're making custome macro-fortune cookies for Valentine's Day. It's for that special someone who realllllly likes fortune cookies. Does anyone really like fortune cookies though? I'd much rather just get a giant American-style cookie. The fortune could be written on a $100 bill: "Today you will receive $100 and a cookie." Ah, how true. But I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen. I can't say I celebrate Valentine's Day, not since the obligatory "everyone has to get a card" celebration that happened in grade school. Fun times! Everyone must get a card, EVEN IF YOU HATE THEM.

crispy chocolate chip cookie

We shared a plate of three cookies, staring with a crispy chocolate chip cookie. I wouldn't prefer this buttery, crunchy cookie over a soft, chewy one, but the flavor was good. Butter is the win. I think it could've used more chocolate chips, but it was good enough.

sugar cookie

Next up was the humble sugar cookie. Joe asked if it was a bit redundant for there to be a cookie called "sugar cookie". Hm...perhaps. I mean, you need some kind of description aside from plain ol' "cookie", but cookies better have some kind of sugar in them. I guess you can also have "butter cookie". "Tasty cookie"? "Delicious cookie."

"What's in the 'delicious cookie'?"

"Sugar."

"Oh."

Um. So! This cookie was a delicious cookie. Soft, chewy, blah blah, think of other things you like about sugar cookies and fill in my laziness-induced blanks.

snickerdoodle

Last was the snickerdoodle, one of my favorite cookies that I first discovered at Whole Foods (they make good cookies!) and certainly one with one of the most fun names. A snickerdoodle is like a "sugar cookie +" in that it has cinnamon. I guess it could be a "sugar cookie -" if you don't like cinnamon, but the cinnamon makes it awesomer. Lilke the sugar cookie, this cookie was awesome, although I think it coul'dve used more cinnamon. Or butter. How gross would it be to spread butter on a cookie? ...No, I'm not going to try it, although I'll admit that the idea is now in my head and god knows where that'll take me.

Milke & Cookies is great little homey place to hang out at. If you like cookies. OF COURSE YOU LIKE COOKIES. It's like a cookie bar. The world needs more cookie bars!

We did some more fooding, but I'll put that in "part II". I actually have to go to sleep now; sucks being human.

The last entry left our food-laden heroes in the chewy, buttery enclaves of Milk & Cookies, where they fended off a giant knife-wielding cookie growling, "SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT IF I RIP YOU IN HALF AND NIBBLE ON YOUR WARM ORGANS AND GO 'MMM, SO TASTY,' HUH, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?"

...

See, that paragraph initially sounded too un-Robyn-ish, so I thought I'd make it a little weirder. Yeah? Did I succeed? Good.

Puff & Pao

So after that little incident, Joe and I went to Puff & Pao. Guess what they sell? PUFFS! AND PAOS! Yup, you're a quick one! Surely you know what a puff is, but a pao, short for "paolito", are little cheese bread balls.

paos

Cute, eh? Like little babies, incubating for...some reason I haven't figured out yet. (Incubating for the feeeeding. Master likes it when the babies are toasty.) As you can see, they have a bucketload of flavors. However, we were most interested in trying the puff. Sugar! Gimmeh!

unfilled puffs

puff menu

They fill their puffs to order from a menu of four promising flavors, unless you want something sugar free, in which case you can choose from two Spenda-fied flavors. Hell, I don't have diabetes (yet); sugar it is. We ordered a maple filled puff and watched as the young woman squooshed (alert: that is officially the first time I've ever used a form of the word "squoosh") cream into the puff's cavity using a handheld squooshing pump (it probably has a real name, but it can't be as cool as "squooshing pump"). It looked quite pretty after being dusted with confectioner's sugar. Time to DIG IN.

maple cream puff, after being ripped apart

Ah. ...Um. Er. Okay. I don't write unfavorable reviews very much because luckily, I rarely eat anything that's bad. In most cases, if something doesn't taste good, it wouldn't be sold in the first place because that would be cruel and hopefully a black hole would instantly appear to whisk away the offensive product to a far off place where there's lots and lots of gravity. However, something was definitely wrong with this puff. The pastry was overly dry and tasteless and the cream was...well, if you can see from the photo, there wasn't much of it, it seemed too thin to qualify as cream puff filling, and it wasn't very flavorful. WHAT IS THIS MONSTROSITY? How could so many things have gone wrong? I looked up reviews for Puff & Pao and they've mainly been favorable. Did we go on a bad day? Did the crappy weather alter the puff's properties? Was it all a joke? APRIL FOOL'S, BUT IT AIN'T APRIL?! HUH?!

[Sigh] One puff will set you back $1.90, so I can't say I'm dying to try it again. Also, I'm not really a fan of cream puffs. If anyone else has been here, let me know what you think about the puffs or their other offerings. They were giving out samples of vegan chocolate cookies that tasted a little odd. Joe was reminded of cardboard, while I was reminded of a cookie I've had before, but not exactly. I could see the cardboard-ness of the cookie, but I once did try something that truly tasted like cardboard, a decision I could make at 10 years of age despite never having eaten cardboard before (10 years later, I'm still cardboard free!), and the cookie was far from that. I've definitely had better vegan cookies though. (For great vegan baked goods, check out Life Thyme. Some of their cakes are better than regular cakes for omnivores.)

We roamed around some more in the drizzle, stopping by Chocolate Bar and the recently closed Mary's Off Jane. Disappointingly, our stomachs called it a day; no more fooding. I couldn't eat much that night, but Joe went on a fooding spree that I won't reproduce here, as the list would make me queasy. (He way, way out-foods me. [hangs head in shame])

swapping time!

A few days before the sad puff came into my life, I received this package of primarily edible delights (you could eat the plush donut, but I wouldn't recommend it if you want your organs to function properly) from the lovely Heather. Ah! Cute things! Cute tasty things bursting with calories! All that stands in the way of my gluttony are thin plastic wrappers and willpower.

teddy bear peanut butter cookies

I ate the bag of Heather's homemade peanut butter cookies in record time. One day, there was a thriving teddy bear community; a few days later, they had been wiped out, made extinct by the Wrath of Robyn. It was written in the Teddy Bear Prophecy, but unfortunately, the teddy bears were illiterate. Ah. Well. The cookies were of the cakey/bready (that's a really bad description but I honestly don't know what to compare them to) variety, not very sweet, and weren't overly peanut buttery, but I think the subdued flavors just made them easier to eat. That, and the detachable body parts. "GONNA EAT YOUR ARM, MR. BEAR. HAR HAR HAR. *chomp*"

[You want to know something kind of disturbing? While I never play shooting games, I can go absolutely insane in an arcade, put in front of "House of the Dead". Thankfully, it's only happened twice, but both times I was in very odd form. "OH GOD, DIE *bam bam* AHH ZOMBIE...wait not the human...AHH ZOMBIE SEE YOU IN HELL *bam bam*" Conclusion: I like shooting zombies. ...Good lord, why am I telling you this?]

Yesterday in between classes, I hopped on the subway to Grand Central to check out Tokyo Festa with James. There should've been a warning: Things on Internet May Be Smaller Than They Appear. The event was a very small little "COME TO JAPAN, SILLY AMERICANS!!!" thingy where they had posters up and some people dressed up in a la cosplay in front of the Anime display. The food section consisted of a little food table with FAKE FOOD. Yeah, I love me some mouthwatering plastic as much as the next gal. I took a crapload of free pamphlets and maps to get the most of my free visit and perhaps something useful for when I go to Japan. However, by the time that opportunity comes along, Japan may be 50 years in the future, consisting floating islands and having mastered the science of teleportation (because that's how human civilization progresses, duuuh), possibly rendering my maps useless. Or maybe they'll build a New Japan to ease the population density and I can visit the perfectly preserved Old Japan, where everything will be made of plastic, but look highly realistic!

Oh. Um. Food. After roaming around the lower food concourse for a while, a woman holding a cone full of ice cream passed us.

"Oooh, I want ice cream. I know it's somewhere...here...I KNOW IT."

And after a while, we found Ciao Bella.

sorbet

ice cream/gelato/yeah I know they're not the same but WHATEVER, OKAY

I've never had Ciao Bella before, despite that I've had the chance to get it at Grand Central and their Mott Street location before, AND that you can buy pints in a gazillion different store. While I'd usually try samples, I decided to be semi-spontaneous and go straight for the maple gingersnap and fresh mint with chocolate chip ($3.75 for 2 scoops).

mm, snaack

Damn, it was a good choice. On my first bite, I thougth, "...This is really good...why is it really good?" Because it's real mint! If you haven't had real mint ice cream, you're missing out terribly. Typical green-colored mint ice cream (or not always green-colored) doesn't compare to the "mm, like chewing on a wad of mint leaves" feeling that comes from eating anything infused with real mint. The only other time I've had real mint was at Il Laboratorio del Gelato. So delicious. Commence drooling. But this was also real mint! More drooling! The maple gingersnap was great, but the mint flavor really won me over. While I'd still prefer Il Laboratorio, whose texture is in my opinion richer and denser (sidenote: I've tried Cones and found it too fluffy to want to try again; did I make a wrong judgement?), Ciao Bella is also very good and more easily accessible.

milkshake

James said I could blog this photo. I think. He's trying looking strange on purpose, although I don't think he looks as strange as he would've hoped. Instead, he just looks overly happy to be holding that cup. Darn it. The conclusion about the shake was that it was too liquidy. Double darn it! Liquidy milkshakes are totally not cool. Skip the milkshake.

yumyum

I tried less hard at looking weird, but I usually look weird when I eat (and fatter, but luckily this photo hides the fat, mrahaha!). Look closely and you can see the burn on my arm sustained from my cooking class last semester. I've gotten a gazillion compliments on that t-shirt (whaddaya know; people love them drum-playing squirrels!), so I'll direct you to ferdinand where you can purchase your own bit of musically-inclined squirrel goodness (although they don't seem to have red shirts anymore).

counter with stuff made of soy

So. That was fun. Last night I had a "lets make stuff out of soy" cooking lab, which I could talk at length about, but rates low on the "worth talking about" scale. It wasn't bad--surprisingly, most of the food tasted good, like the mac and "cheese", but I'm too lazy to talk about it and...whatever, we don't need no fake things made of soy! One girl in the class was allergic to soy and had to miss out on the end-of-lab gorging/tasting. That was probably fort he best; I was so freakin' full. Hopefully I'll never be driven to eat that many dishes made with soy products again. (They were right there and we spent almost 2 hours preparing them; I had to eat them!)

The title made sense at some point.

I didn't know what to eat for lunch. Despite that my stomach was making sounds like some kind of semi-active underwater volcano ([bloopy blop gurgle hiss]), I wasn't really hungry. However, I had a lunch break and if I didn't use it, I would've just been hungry...later. Yeah. I guess that's the body's way of saying, "FEEEED MEEEE." Fancy that.

I wanted to have some more Ukrainian fare after yesterday's yummerful pierogi and blintz lunch (which I'll talk about in the next entry) but after it took me 15 minutes just to walk to the East Village, I stopped short of the cheap Eastern European eateries and decided to check out the Korean hole-in-the-wall Temple instead.

the side I didn't sit on

Okay, it's kind of big for a hole-in-the-wall, but that makes it pretty small for a...non hole-in-the-wall. One side of the room is lined with two-person tables and the other side is more suited for single-seating (you know...hermits). It's a clean, comfy little restaurant with nice decorations that are a bit on the trendy side, but not in a bad way.

banchan

While their large lunch menu includes standard Korean dishes (which is just my assumption, not being Korean) I went for the Korean Curry Rice since I'm not sure if I've ever seen Korean-style curry before (not that I thought it'd be a far stretch from Japanese curry, but I love all kinds of curry and figured I couldn't go wrong). Before I received the main dish, I was given a long, slim plate of banchan, those yummy Korean side dish thingies that fill you up before you can even eat the main dish if you're gluttonous enough to eat it all. Which I am. However, I managed to refrain from consuming all the kimchi, shredded radish, mung bean sprouts, tofu, and mushroom right away since it would've be sad if my stomach became distended before getting the chance to digest my main dish.

As I poked at the banchan with my chopsticks, I heard a man to my right ask the woman next to him if she would stop talking on her phone. And by "ask", I mean "command in an annoying tone".

"Would you mind using phone outside? You shouldn't talk on the phone while you're eating lunch."

Eh, he said something like that. The woman wasn't talking loudly at all. She didn't respond right away but at some point she said something back to the man, not that I could hear her as well as the man since she wasn't speaking that loudly. It probably wasn't a good idea on her part. His response went something like this:

"You shouldn't speak on your cell phone in a public place. Some people want to go to lunch and have a relaxing time. Have some delicacy. Stop talking on the fucking phone, bitch!"

[insert silence]

While raising his voice to uncomfortable loudness, he either shouted "fucking phone, bitch!" or "phone, fucking bitch!" but I think it was the first one. There were only three of us in there. Awkward. Reading the quotes alone doesn't give you the sense of his somewhat menacing inflection. The waitress was in the kitchen; I wonder what she would've done if she heard what the customer said. The young woman probably said something in response to the man's scolding, but as I said before, her voice wasn't that loud to begin with and alas, I lack bionic ears. My initial reaction was, "Whoa, biggest asshole I've ever encountered in a restaurant" (I suppose I'm lucky). Also, while he may have meant to say "delicacy", I feel like that wasn't the right word. Yes, I can see it fitting in, but isn't it ironic at all that the man possessed much less...erm, delicacy, than the young woman? Than most people? Of course, there was nothing to be gained from pointing out something so painfully obvious, as I'm sure this man wouldn't give a damn. As much as the woman talking on her cell phone may have bothered him, I think his outburst was much higher on the bothersome scale.

I also thought about what I'd do if I were the young woman. Honestly...I think I would've left. It's not like I could switch seats to a table much farther away from the scary guy in a room smaller than the size of my dorm, meaning I'd eat lunch in discomfort. Of course, it's not the restaurant's fault, but if wasn't going to eat their food, there wouldn't be any point in staying.

The woman must have almost been done eating, so she continued to eat. When the waitress reappeared, she told her about the incident. I'm not sure what the waitress could say, aside from being sorry, but the man, who could surely hear their conversation, stayed silent.

...Whatever, there are much worse things and people. But still. Why would anyone be that rude?

When I received my bowl of curry rice, I found out that I wasn't allowed to take photos (despite that I had already taken a bunch; HAR HAR HAR). I suppose that's alright, but then I realized that that's the first restaurant I've ever been to that didn't allow photos. Innnnteresting? I can understand a bakery or food shop banning photography (not that I find it any less annoying), but I never thought about a restaurant having the same rule. Yeah, I know the rule exists (other people have told me about restaurants not allowing them to take photographs, perhaps to the point that the proprietor crazily berates them), but I'm somewhat brainless and didn't think about it. Hohum. Maybe I should start a list of places in NYC that don't allow photos so no one gets into trouble. My list is really short so if you have any contributions, let me know.

curry rice

Ohhh, I should talk about the food, eh? It's hard for me to rate curry rice since I love just about every kind of curry and rice combination you could scrap together (although preferably, it wouldn't actually be scrapped together; that sounds kinda untasty), so I'll just say that if you like curry and rice, you'll like their...steaming hot bowl of curry rice. The curry is thinner than most Japanese curry I've had and is of a green/yellow color rather than brown. The sauce coated every little fat, chewy grain of rice in the bowl, which I wasn't expecting (it gave me less work to do since I didn't have to mix anything...oh yeah, I've reached the epitome of laziness). Chunks of potato, carrot, and onion were mixed with the curry, along with a garnish of chopped green onion. That's some tasty stuff.

With my check, I was given a 3 ounce shot glass of...yellow liquid. Hm. Umm. Being one to eat things without having to know of their origins (I predict that I'll die of eating a poisoning substance that looks like cake), I sipped the glass. Firt impressions: not pee, not tea! Kind of sweet. Tastes like...honey! I figure it's a Korean thing, but beyond that have absolutely no idea what it is. Had I not been in a rush, I would've asked the waitress...but ye know, my brain works at half-speed (of a goldfish).

So. That was an interesting lunch. I'd go back to Temple if I had an insane Korean food craving, but that rarely happens. The food is pretty healthy and it's a good deal for less than $10. Hopefully the angry cellphone guy isn't a regular customer.

The Pink Tea Cup

On Wednesday I took advanage of The Pink Tea Cup's special lunch menu, dragging Nancy along with me.

"What do they have?"

"Umm...I've never been there, but they serve southern food. So. Deep fried stuff?"

"Sounds good."

Nancy is somewhat health-conscious, but tends to throw that stuff out the window when eating with me. Thank god. I don't think we could be friends otherwise.

tables

When we arrived around 2 PM, the place was almost empty. Hm. Maybe everyone ate already?

soup and salad

The lunch special includes chicken soup and a salad. Both were pretty good and basic, so I don't know what else to say about them. "The soup had chunks of vegetables and chicken in it." Yeah, good one. Gonna pat myself on the back now.

smothered chicken leg

Nancy's smothered chicken leg was true to its name. Damn, that's a lot of gravy. Of course, gravy is tasty and keeps things moist, so the chicken was yummy. We enjoyed the sides of collard greens and okra, corn, and tomatoes, although this is when Nancy's sodium radar went off.

"This food has as lot of salt, don't you think?"

Uhhh. I went blank. "Yup. Yeah. Wait, is that why it tastes so good, hence why I keep shoving it into my mouth?"

fried pork chop

I ordered the friend pork chop with sides of string beans and yellow squash. While a little dry (ameliorated with a splodge of ketchup), the fried pork chop was pretty good because if you haven't noticed, IT'S FRIED, which almost automatically garners a "Stamp of Tastiness". I wouldn't prefer it over a nice tonkatsu (Japanese-style fried pork cutlet), but it was worth trying once. Perhaps a deep fried pork chop ain't my thing...wow, I think I just felt meat fans around the world collectively putting on faces of disappointment and horror. I particularly liked the yellow squash, although I didn't know why until Nancy commented that it had a lot of butter.

"Oooohhhh....okay, that's why I like it."

I'm a tastebud moron. "Huuh, whats this buttery taste. I dunnooo, could be BUTTER." Right.

biscuit-esque

I was a little perplexed by the biscuits. These are biscuits, right? They don't look like plain ol' dinner rolls, and they tasted kind of biscuit-esque, but their innards were a bit confusing.

inside the breadscuit

The biscuits had more of a regular bready texture, as in more airy and soft than dense and flaky. However, the taste wasn't like other bread I've had. At least, that's what I thought, until I realized that maybe it just had a lot of salt in it. Mm yes, salt. Do you see a theme here?

bread pudding

Our meals ended with bread pudding (the other choice being Jell-O, which you'd only choose if you're...insane). Mmm. MMMMM. OH MY GOD, IT DOESN'T HAVE SALT! (At least, not as a main component.) The hot slices of bread pudding were our favorite parts of the meal. Extremely moist, soft, well spiced (interpret that as you wish; I think there was nutmeg but I COULD BE WRONG), and a good amount of sweetness gave this the top ranking out of my very short list of "times I've had bread pudding" (I think this is number four). Methinks the desserts may be the Pink Tea Cup's forte because they're not salty.

Nancy and I both agreed that desserts get the thumbs up and the other food gets the horizontal thumb dipped in salt. Or something. It's a great deal if you want a lot of food for less than $10. And if you have chronic low blood pressure.

[This is a rather unenthused review-thinger; alas, waiting three days to write about a place is kinda unsmart since a lot of brain leakage occurs in that time period.]

On Thursday afternoon after my photography class, I wandered around the East Village while thinking, "...What the hell do I eat for lunch?" I called some friends; no one picked up. Hmm. And by "nobody" I mean three people, one of which was a wrong number (apparently, I don't keep in touch with that friend very well). It just wasn't my day. But I wouldn't let the lack of human interaction get me down. Nuh uhhh!

Think, Robyn. There's always a place you want to try out! Heeeeelllo, you're in NYC, THIIIIIINK.

Ukrainian East Village Restaurant

Mmm, Ukrainian East Village Restaurant: who wouldn't wanna eat there? CRAZIES. And even they might want to eat there. Not being one to eat Ukrainian food often/ever, I decided to dip into my nonexistent Ukrainian heritage through the gastronomic route (aka, the Tasty Train). I walked down the long hallway towards the glowing neon sign buried deeeeep within and entered...

neon sign

...a fairly empty room. Hm. It was lunch time, yes? Yes. Where are the hungry masses? Did they get lost in the hallway? The decor is interesting, very...woodsy, and more formal than I would've expected.

While their lunch menu has a bunch of things on it, naturally none of which I remember because I lack photographic memory (which is what my camera is for), my eyes zoomed in on pierogies and blintzes. I've had pierogies and blintzes before...once. For shame! Only once! I had pierogies from Veselka a few years ago and just a bite of a friend's blintz from the Country Pancake House last summer. While at first I was trying to decide between pierogies or blintzes, I naturally came to the conclusion that I may as well get both. Hell, it wasn't that expensive, and...hell, I'm Robyn, so I think ordering two things is expected of me. When I asked the waitress what she liked, she recommended blintzes; of course, that just reinforced the fact that blintzes were in my future.

spinach pierogies

spinach innards

But first, spinach pierogies smothered in onions. Mmmmmmm. Of course, there was no question of whether I'd like them or not since I love dumplings. Using Chinese dumplings as a comparison point, pierogies have thicker, doughier skins and completely different fillings, many times cheese based. I'm not talking gooey, stringy cheese of course, but something like cottage or ricotta cheese (fill me in if you have a better knowledge of Eastern European food, which would be just about anyone that isn't me). The spinach filling was a mixture of spinach and cheese and was filling without feeling too heavy, if that makes any sense. It went down smoooothly and I had no trouble at all cleaning my plate. Good thing too, since I had an order of blueberry blintzes coming up.

blintzes

Looking nothing like the blintzes I saw at the Country Pancake House, my first impression was, "Hmm, they seem kinda...thin?" Like the pierogies though, I knew there was no reason I wouldn't like the blintzes because I enjoy a good wheat, egg, and sugar amalgamation, and...hey, this has wheat, egg, and sugar! The sweet smell of the pan-fried wrappers wafted upwards, conveniently traveling through my nasal passages. Mmmm...smells like delicious...

blueberry goo

Hell yeah, this was good; the waitress knew her stuff. The golden wrapper was slighty crispy around the edges and remained soft in the center while still retaining its structure (as in, it didn't splodge gooey blueberry innards all over the place, which is always a plus). I cut small sections with my fork and dipped them into the accompanying sour cream before unleashing them onto my stomach acids, gradually demolishing both pieces (as though you were expecting something else). So. Tasty. Mm. Mmmm. Triple mmm. Etc. I think I found my new food obsession. Yes!

For about $10, I got a filling, satisfying meal (just enough food; no feelings of "Oh god, I need a stomach pump" here!) with friendly service in a spacious room. Also, there was no cellphone nazi! Hoorah! I wouldn't hesitate to go back, preferable with someone else (so that I can try twice as many things, ah-ha), but there are so many more Eastern European goodies in the East Village that demand my attention. That is, if they have pierogies and blintzes. Perhaps it's a shame that I've ignored the rest of the menu, but...hey, I'm not complaining. I like my "dough stuffed with stuff". I'd love to open a restaurant whose theme was "dough stuffed with stuff". There could even be "dough stuffed with dough". But anyway, that's off topic.

More blintzes and pierogies coming soon.

On Friday afternoon while I was in the middle of paying for my bill at Temple, my phone started...doing stuff.

Huuuh. Whaaat. ...Oh, someone's calling me. WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?

It was Nancy, the friend who accompanied me to the fried-meat-a-licious Pink Tea Cup just a few days prior.

"Robyn, do you wanna grab dinner later tonight?"

Ahh. Ahhhh. Uh. Damn, I just ate lunch. Can't...think about...other meals...stomach is still in the middle of churning gastric fluids...

"...Okay."

Alright, maybe I can. I have to admit, I was hesistant to eat another meal out. The way my food planning goes is that if I'm going to eat dinner out, I don't eat much for lunch (if anything at all), or if I eat lunch out, I eat a minimal dinner. Alas, my attempt to eat reasonably was thrwarted by social obligation, coupled with my desire to eat new things. Hmmm. Oh well. (But a note for anyone reading this who may eat with me: please give me at least 24 hours notice if you want to eat a full meal. Bakeries are more do-able on a last-minute schedule. I'm Robyn, but I'm still human, with digestive organs just like youuurs. Last week one of my friends called me up at 7 PM to ask me if I wanted to eat dinner, the problem being that I already ate something...ish. Damn.)

Although she at first asked if we could eat somewhere semi-healthy, I politely said, "HELL NO, DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE EATING WITH? GOSH." Okay, that's not exactly what I said, but I hmm-ed and huuuh-ed until Nancy gave me free reign to eat wherever I wanted to. Sweet jesus, I win again! Nancy works out on a semi-regular basis and she's a freakin' tiny Chinese girl (like most of them; my girth edges me out of the category a bit), but she also smokes from time to time and probably drinks. Whateeeever, we're all unhealthy, although my health is worse than most (or will be; I can feel the cancerous cells forming, can YOU?).

Teresa's

Menupaging (an extreme sport only second to ski-jumping and squirrel-tossing) led me to Teresa's, an Eastern European restaurant settled within the haven of a gazillion Eastern European restaurants in the East Village. Like at the East Village Ukrainian Restaurant, I had my eyes set on two things: green eggs and ham. I mean. Pierogies and blintzes. Yes. But then another item poked its way into my cerebrum and a half order of potato pancakes (three) also became a part of the highly nutritious meal gradually forming before us. We couldn't decide between plum butter or cherry blintzes and the waitress couldn't say one was better than the other, so she recommended we get one of each. Why didn't I think of that? Our waitress was obviously awesome. We also couldn't decide on what kind of pierogies to get, so we got a combination that included at least one of each.

pierogies

Mmm, plate of boiled stuffed dough pouches never looked so good. I'm not sure how to describe them besides that they were full of doughy deliciousness, nor can I pick a favorite because I LIKED EM ALL. The cheese pierogies had a hint of sweetness and the potato filled ones were...well, they tasted like potato, with seasoning. DELICIOUS POTATO. I desperately need a word besides "delicious", but it's such a good word. Potatoicious!...no. You can't go wrong with anything here unless you don't like potato, cheese, mushrooms, sauerkraut, meat, or friggin' dough, in which case...why are you reading this blog?

blintzes

blintz innards

Hello, gigantic blintzes, oozing with cheesy, fruity delight. HOW YA'LL DOIN'? These blintzes were like monsters compared to the ones I had at the East Village Ukrainian Restaurant, but it makes sense since they're also more expensive. Due to the size, these blintzes packed in a layer of sweet, fluffy cheese in addition to fruit jelly. Nancy and I found out that the waitress couldn't have told us which one was better because they were both equally good. Damn. These blintzes were awesome, soft inside with crispy edges, thus we ate them all, whether or not our stomachs really wanted us to.

potato pancakes

innards

I've probably had potato pancakes at some point my life, but I had no idea that they'd turn out like this. For some reason, the first comparison food I could come up with in regards to the texture was a flat Japanese fish cake patty. If you know what those are like, it was kind of like that, but softer. If you don't have much fish cake knowledge, then just pretend you do. The pancakes could be easily cut with a fork, but would also retain their structure if subjected to any kind of prodding (...not that I know why they would be prodded). Flavorful (with salt, although not too much) and delicious-ified by fried oil, these pancakes got a lot of "MM, I LOVE THESE PANCAKES"-esque accolades from Nancy and me.

empty plates

We ate nearly everything. Yeeeah, that's right. We couldn't bring ourselves to eat the last half pierogi and while I tried to plow through the last pancake, I just couldn't do it. But the blintzes were fully cleaned up, not very surprising considering they were the dessert part of the meal.

interior

I'm sure I'll go back to Teresa's again. The restaurant feels cozy (we luckily had the corner spot way in the back) and warm due to the earthy colors, and while it had a good number of customers, it never felt too crowded. Also, the whole meal was only $10 per person and completely satisfying...if you just want pierogies, blintzes, and potato pancakes at least. AND WHY WOULDN'T YOU? :)

Despite that it allows me to sit on my bum for hours on end without a potty break and lessens my desire to participate in any physical movement, I believe the Internet is a very good thing. For instance, I've trained my body to sit for hours and have developed super-human bladder control!

...Okay, kidding about the second thing. I get up to pee. Yes. Stretch a bit, perhaps. However, I can sit for disturbingly long periods of time as the hour hand goes from 1 to...9, at LIGHT SPEED, or seemingly light speed. The Internet: Makes Life Go At Light-Speed Without the Use of Illegal Stimulants.

So back to the lovely Internet! I've met quite a few cool people on the Internet over the past 8 years (yes, I've been doing this website-thing for that long), with a large chunk of it occuring since I started going to school in NYC almost two years ago. If not for the Internet, I may not have met the overly-awesome Sarah, who not only goes to my school but lives in the dorm around the corner. Hot damn! So damn close, but not someone I would ever meet if not for that ginormous INTERNET thing. I haven't developed "foodie radar" yet so that if I brush past someone with an intense passion for bakery hunting and eating random delicious things something in my brain will beep/glow/implode, so the Internet is a good thing, indeedio.

Sarah just started her blog, Dining Desperado, but I highly recommend you read it if you like staring at photos of food and reading about...the photos of food. She's tearing through the NYC food world at breakneck speed to the point that I AM FRIGHTENED. Although she's lived here for less than two months, she's already been to places I've been wanting to try out. Give her another month and she'll probably have outfooded me. I'll just sit in the corner and weep.

Of course, we had to meet. It's not often you find someone who enjoys mulling over the deliciousness of a roll cake from Lung Moon Bakery. These people are unique; once you find them, you have to grab a hold of them, stuff them in a box, wrap the box with twine, poke it with airholes, and hide the box under your bed. Or something. ...No wait, I don't think that applies to humans.

Tiny's Giant Sandwich Shop

I heard of Tiny's Giant Sandwich Shop but never really noticed it. See that photo? That's what it looks like if you flash it with a camera. Sure, it takes up a street corner (Rivington and Norfolk), but...um. Uhhh. I'M BLIIIIND.

inside

We trekked through the beginnings of Mother Nature's "Snow Puke of 2006", enduring horizontally wooshing snow thwacking us in our faces, so we were quite happy to be met with a cozy, warm, and rather spacious (I guess people didn't feel like going out for sammiches on a Saturday night; people were waiting out on the street for Schiller's) place to plop down our wet hats and jackets. Mm...moist apparel...

We stared at the menus, zooming right in on the hot sandwiches and ignoring salads and cold sandwiches (because...really, would you want those?). The problem was that everything sounded really good. I decided to cut out ham and roast beef, but that still left us with many delicious possibilities. The waitress came by to see if we were ready, but you know, these things take time for people like us to want to ensure we make the right decision and don't waste any calories on food that isn't worth it.

"Well, take you're time. I'll be here for another hour or so."

For whatever reason, I loved...that. What the waitress said. She'd probably think I were crazy if she knew how funny I thought those few words were (you had to hear her nonchalant tone, I think), but MAYBE I AMMMM CRAZY (yeah, we've already established that). It made me happier.

...Man, I'm weird.

Moving on, we finally decided on getting mushroom and cheese and buffalo chicken. Some sandwiches come in "tiny" sizes, which if you're us (fairly normal sized female college students), is the perfect size. We were initially unsure that the sandwiches would be large enough because of their mega-cheapness (less than $4), but it turns out they're just mega-cheap. I guess if you're a hulky guy with a large appetite or need to fulfill some kind of sandwich eating dare, you should go for the giant size. Hey, I warned you.

buffalo chicken

Each sandwich comes neatly sliced in a basket accompanied with salty ruffled potato chips. Mmmmmmm. I don't know if Ive mentioned this before, but in high school I used to put potato chips in my sandwiches for the crunchiness factor. ALL THE TIME. It's tasty! I didn't do that this time, but it reminded me of that, "that" being my dark sandwich eating history.

closer look at the buffalo chicken

The buffalo chicken sandwich consisted of chicken cutlet chunks in "tangy red devil sauce", blue cheese dressing, lettuce, and tomato on a toasted semolina sesame seed bun. It was a bit messy to eat, as the chicken pieces didn't want to cooperate with the whole "staying inside the bun" idea (which the rest of the ingredients had no problem doing), but it was delicious, so it doesn't give me much reason to complain. The tangy sauce was...well, tangy, and not too spicy, chicken was just moist enough, lettuce and tomato were...you know, there, but I was especially impressed by the bun. It was a really good bun: chewy, crispy outside, soft innards, not dry, and optimally sesame-d, if that's your thing. IT'S MY THING. YES'M.

mushrooms and cheeeese

Mushrooms and cheese were made for each other. When Mother Nature sat in her foresty lab and thought, "Huuuh, fungus, what's that about?" and then, "Huuh, cow's milk, what do I do with that?" (in my head, Mother Nature sounds rather doofus-y), she tripped on a wayward twig and...out popped a mushroom and cheese sandwich. (Moral of the story: twigs are good. I'm not vying for an Aesop's Fables award here, okay?) Unlike the buffalo chicken sandwich, this didn't fall apart; cheese is good for gluing things together like mushrooms and onions, apparently. You know what cheese, onions, and mushrooms taste like, right? Well, it tasted NOTHING like that...I mean, it tasted EXACTLY like that. Yeah. Putting the sandwich away from the paper wrapped resulted in long, string cheesy remains, which is a good sign if you like melty cheese (I dooo). Soft, melty, sweet, fungusified deliciousness in a bun. Yeeaaaaah. You can't go wrong with the sandwich, unless you're lactose intolerant.

cheapy dinner

All this sammich and fried tato goodness for only $8.13? SAY IT AIN'T SO! ...Or YES, thank god, now we have plenty of money for dessert! Hopefully we'll go back again to try two more sandwiches. If I decide that I want to revisit a place right as soon as I've finished my meal, you know it's good. As you noticed by now, we split both sandwiches, as it was the obvious thing to do. OBVIOUSLY. OBVIOUSLY AWESOME.

I use the word "awesome" too much. I also emphasize words more than I need to. ...Oh well, get used to it.

cupcakes

Guess what's conveniently across the street? Sugar Sweet Sunshine, the most colorful happy bakery ever! Or at least in that vicinity! EVER. Your eyes warn you, "Oh, that color is so not natural," but your stomach says, "AHH, BRING ON THE CHEMICALS!" so of course, you bring them on.

tasty cake

As cute as cupcakes are, I'm a glutton, thus I opted for the cake chunk. Few things bring as much joy as a chunk of Sugar Sweet Sunshine cake. Little rolls and rectangles from Chinatown won't do the trick, nor would dainty individual Italian or French pastries. Chunk! Of cake! Need! As though broken off of a giant cake glacier with a pick-axe! That's my style, folks.

So...this cake? This simple, yellow, cake? SO DAMN GOOD! I think you had to be there when Sarah and I dug into it and thought at the same time, "Hm...this is really good. Hmm. Yeeeah....just...gonna keep eating this cake forever until I die, although I'll probably die because I ate this cake forever." I'm just going to rip Sarah's description from her blog:

...simple...yet very impressive. The cake wasn't greasy but moist and the frosting...oh the frosting...it wasn't overly sugary, like mine...it had a little bit heavier texture with a smooth vanilla finish. It has something to order again!

She also mentioned that it was reminiscent of corn bread. Yeah, I could see that. It surely wasn't cornbread, but there was some aspect besides plain ol' buttercake lurking in the cake. Maybe it was MAGIC. Or CRACK.

red velvet cupcake

Ah yes, Sarah got some cakey goodness for herself. While she asked my opinion about the red velvet cake (so far, the only cake at Sugar Sweet Sunshine that has yet to win over my sugar encrusted heart), the beauty of the cupcake's ploppy frosting and red tinted cake intrigued her so that she had to try it. Verdict?

WE DON'T GET IT. DON'T. GET. IT. I've had red velvet cake before but unless our taste buds were blasted with "cake flavor" buffers just prior to eat this, it really didn't have much taste. The frosting had flavor(sugary, cocoa-y), but the cake was so mind bogglingly (...that's not a word) bland as through it were not meant for human consumption that we just...just didn't know what to do. The cake confused us. We love Sugar Sweet Sunshine to bits, but we don't know what's up with this cake! Maybe our tastebuds are flawed in the same genetic manner, as there are obviously loads of people who love this cupcake, but WE DO NOT LOVE IT. We will never eat it again! We will go straight for the happy yellow cake chunk!

So that was Saturday. I hope you enjoyed this entry because I'm in the school computer lab right now, having come here with the intention of doing anthropology homework, yet heeere I ammm. You all get sammiches and cake now, alright? That'll make me feel proud/semi-useful to humanity.

I just devoured a chunk of a ginormous $2 sourdough baguette I bought from the Union Square Greenmarket this afternoon. The bakers at the Greenmarket and I had been parted for far too long. I endured nightmares of a neverending breadless existence, night after night..."Instead, you shall eat Saltines, forever"...

Okay, I didn't have nightmares. And it's only been a few weeks since I stuffed my face with bread from the Greenmarket. But. Um. You know me. When I see people toting around boring salad bowls, sandwiches, or wraps, I think, "Dude, why didn't you just get a delicious crusty baguette or loaf of bread? So much more satisfying! And cheaper! And less nutritious!" If it was good enough for European peasants during the middle ages, it's good enough for me. (My knowledge of history is pretty bad so let's not discuss the origins of peasants and bread and how much bread they did or did not eat. For the purposes of this entry, they ate lots of crusty loafy bread.)

So, that was random. But keeping on the topic of bread, Sarah and I ate at Calcutta Monday night, which I shall review later for being so very tasty. However, for now you may witness evidence of our carboholicness. As you may or may not know, most Indian restaurants have a bread menu. Yes, a menu just dedicated to fluffy round discs, which is about as exciting to me as a menu dedicated to cupcakes or chocolate.

"Man, this bread is soooo gooood." Sarah spent a great deal of the night talking about the wonderfulness of the bread and pointing out other customers' breads. And then I wondered...

"Hey, why don't we come here one day and just order bread? We'd have an entire meal of different breads."

"...YES!"

"...RIGHT ON!"

That wasn't exactly verbatim, but you get the idea. And you know it's going to happen. "Yes, we'd like to take one of each bread. ...No, you heard us correctly."

Here's an interesting article I read the other day from my school's newspaper: Restaurant Week for status, not savings. I'm mentioning it here because some parts kind of bothered me.

Celebrity-obsession, rampant consumerism and social segregation on every Manhattan corner should prompt the lower rungs of the income ladder to reject these classist ideals and embrace our own choices that hit a bit lighter on the price scale. Instead of balking at the social system, however, we blindly jump at a chance to emulate another's lifestyle in any way our more-paltry finances will allow, be it buying knock-off Louis Vuitton purses on Chinatown street corners or giddily participating in Restaurant Week.

I...I like food! Fooood! I like eating it! And anyone who is not in the upper financial stratum of society is probably just a teeny bit interested to see what a $25 prix fixe meal will result in. But it's not really about the price, as she goes on to say:

It isn't so much that the prices are offensive. It's the premise that price and quality are inherently linked. Apparently the $2 falafel sandwich I get on Bleecker and Thompson is not great food, a conclusion with which I do not concur. [...] I blame all the rest of the commoners out there that caress the hand that oppresses them � jumping at this opportunity and reinforcing the false idea that expensive food is the epitome of a great dining experience.

I wouldn't say expensive food is the epitome of a great dining experience, but it might (well, should) be one great dining experience. There are cheap restaurants that are awesome, and there are expensive restaurants that suck the crap. Expensive doesn't necessarily mean better, nor does cheap imply something is bad, but am I being too presumptuous to think that most people know this already?

I guess I felt like the writer was a bit patronizing; did anyone else get that feeling? I doubt I would've tried DB Bistro Moderne or Union Square Cafe if not for Restaurant Week because...well, I'm kind of cheap. However, I also like to eat lots of things and in a sense, I would count "expensive food" as one type of cuisine I'd want to try (I guess it's more like French-style or "new American" something or other; no, I don't know much about food). Why did I try Ethiopian food? Because I've never had it before and it was a new experience. Why did I try certain Restaurant Week restaurants? Because I've never been to them before and they were new experiences. It wasn't a blind, "I'm gonna go to whatever pricey restaurant I stumble upon!" decision for the sake of eating anything during Restaurant Week.

I think I had more to say, but I'm slow and don't remember the rest. Hohum. ...Well. Okay, I remembered one part. It's safe to assume that some restaurants cost a lot because they use many high-quality ingredients, have expensive facilities, and have a buttload of employees to support, besides paying the rent for an uber-desired location. I'm not saying that all expensive places follow this model, nor that the ones who do will give you the best dining experience of your life, but in many instances it's natural for price and quality to be linked.

...But quality doesn't necessarily mean you'll like it. Hell, I love those 5/$1 dumplings at Dumpling House! CRAZY DELICIOUS. Are they high quality? Um. God knows where the meat came from. Do I care? Mildly. Of course, some things like meat are artificially cheap due to subsidies and whatnot, buuuut...um...I guess that's another discussion. DELICIOUS MYSTERY MEAT!!!

Okay, I'm done. I was supposed to do homework for the past hour but instead I ate and wrote this malformed response. God dammit! I do no work! OH, wait wait, I did do something, albeit, something pointless and unrelated to school:

pancake shirt?

A Poofy pancake shirt is in the making. Hoorah! Comment on flickr if you're interested in it.

Sarah and I just can't stop eating. CAN'T STOP. No one is safe! Hide your children!...if they're tasty and features on menupages or chowhound.

Calcutta

A quick look around menupages brought us to Calcutta for dinner on Monday night. Neither of us had eaten on "curry row" (which isn't totally Indian, but whatever) nor did we eat Indian food often. So naturally...we had to get Indian food.

musical accompaniment

Dude with a sitar! I have no idea if restaurants in India feature musicians, but I guess that helps to set the mood when you're in the East Village. Nice touch.

Sarah and I had a hard time figuring out what to eat. We didn't really have favorites, aside from "things made of wheat", and we didn't know how big the portions were. After staring at the menu long enough for the sitar player to complete playing, and maybe writing a symphony (a sitarphony!...wow, that was horrible), we settled on two appetizers, a main course, and an order of bread. Just so you know, that's at least one appetizer more than we needed. Ah. Whatever.

flatbread

sauces

But before that, we were given a basket of flatbread cracker things that I'll call papadum for now since thats what google tells me they are. Very light, thing, and very...flavorful. Flavored. With. Tasty. Things. Dammit, I don't remember; it was four days ago! Eat the free flatbread, eat it! And smother it in various sauces, none of which I can really describe to you because I have the memory of a goldfish (and I'm talking stupid goldish, not the smart ones with attention spans of 10 seconds as opposed to 0.5). They came in green, brown, and chunky red stuff (er, tomatoes). Mmmm...I liked "green".

pakora

innards!

We didn't expect one order of pakora to include four golden fried dough balls. Oh. Jeez. You can't go wrong with fritters, especially if they're sweet and contain banana. Although the description "banana fritters" would lead one to believe that they're mainly banana, there's really only a tiny chunk of banana in each ball. However, the soft dough is chewy, slightly moist, not crumbly, and IT'S FRIED, SO IT'S AUTOMATICALLY DELICIOUS. The first thing that came to my mind while chewing on my first bite (yes, I chew..sometimes) was a donut, but it's denser than that. It's not very dense, nor light. It's a bit fluffy and squishy. Bottom line: I liked it enough that I'd want to eat it again. That's all you have to know.

samosas

samosa innards

Samosas are lovely stuffed fried wheat pastry things. Ours were stuffed with vegetables, such as potatoes and other things that can't moo, oink, or make some other animal-esque sound. Mmm. It's like a pasty, a miniature savory pie that isn't pie shaped. And I'm going to stop attempting to describe it now because this is turning from "bad" to "craptastic."

mm, bread

Hellooo, pile of fluffy, chewy, onion-bit-ed bread. HOW YOU DOIN'? Sorry, but your life will be short. Sarah and I love you so much that we have to masticate you, digest you, and poop you out to in order to express our deep burnin' love (and the acids do burn). ...It's not a very pretty relationship, but you're just too tasty. Now you must die.

rice

Ooh, glorious Indian rice. I love sticky, short-grain Chinese and Japanese style rice, but I also love fluffy long-grain Indian rice. I LOVE ALL RICE. GIVE. TO ME. THE CARBS. I also love almond slivers. Almonds slivers + rice = lovely.

lamb malai

Unfortunately, I can't describe all the flavors in lamb malai. At the very least, I remember that it wasn't spicy and my assumption is that it's made of coconut milk and "stuff". Stuff probably includes spices. Maybe fruit. Maybe not. What I am sure about is that the lamb was moist (no duh, it was swimming in sauce) and tenderlicious. BOTH TENDER AND DELICIOUS!...okay, you figured that one out. Good job.

dude with meat on a stick

One of the coolest things about this restaurant was the dude in the back behind glass, makin' stuff. We'd watch him knead dough, put meat on deathly skewers, pull deathly skewered meat out of the pit, shape bread on round thingy that probably has a real name but of course I don't know what it is, pull fluffy bread out of the pit, etc. It was the magical bread room, with some meat I cared less about. My god, I want one. Bread room, I mean.

We were stuffed by the end of the meal. Despite the tastiness of the bread, we couldn't eat it all (don't worry, Sarah took home the leftovers). The total damage was about $12 per person, a great deal for the amount and quality of food...plus the constant attention paid to our water glasses. Hydration is a good thing.

I don't normally eat two times in a week with the same person (we've actually eaten four times together in a week-long period...whoa!), but that's because the other person isn't usually so "OMG LET'S EAT!" like I am. However, Sarah is an "OMG LET'S EAT!" kind of person, so on Thursday night we headed to Caracas Arepas Bar in the East Village for some arepas, aka "sammich-esque corn cake stuffed with stuff".

Caracas Arepas Bar

This place is tiny (if I had to guess, there may be around 16 seats). It wasn't too crowded at around 6:30, but there were some people waiting outside by the time we left. An open kitchen looks over the the room of tiny tables and chairs. But tiny is cute and cozy! ...Unless you're a normal sized human, in which case it could be kind of uncomfortable. Besides that it's cozy, the walls are colorfully decorated with photos and knick knacks in a neatly cluttered way that showed some personality, as opposed to the TGIF way which is...actually, I haven't been to TGIF in a long time so I don't even remember if it's one of those places with "flair" all over the walls. Er. TGIF was cooler when I lived in Taiwan and didn't care much about food. Then again, I ate a lot of McDonald's there too. Let's forget that.

milkshake terrain

While I don't usually go for drinks, I've just decided to go on a "milkshake mission". If you have any suggestions as to where I must get my lactose on, leave a comment. I ordered the caburada , a banana milkshake with a touch of cinnamon. Initially, I was confused since I thought I ordered the coconut milkshake, but after taking a sip and deciding it tasted more like banana I realized....I either said banana or they got my order wrong. Hmmm...it's a mystery. The shake was not overly-banana flavored, but it definitely had a thick, banana texture. The thickness level was great (straw sucking goodness), the texture creamy (although not uber-creamy, perhaps more icy than milky if that makes any sense) and the flavor wasn't too sweet. I finished it. Duh.

chorizo pernil arepa

I ordered the special arepa of the day, which was stuffed with sliced chorizo (pork sausage), pernil chunks (pork...um, just pork), and plenty of guacamole. While the arepas are small, this arepa was filling due to containing roughly a baby pig's worth of meat in cured meat and tender, moist meat forms.

porky innards

I'd take a bite and then...my god, another pork bit would pop out. It was like my sandwich was preggers with a gazillion baby pork bits. TOO MANY FERTILITY DRUGS, PERHAPS ...Keep in mind that I don't usually eat a lot of meat, so if you do love meat, this probably won't seem like a lot of meat. However, it seemed neverending to me (maybe because everything was disguised until a sea of guacamole, mmmm), which was kind of cool. Sarah tried a bite of mine and I a bit of her la del gato arepa (guayan�s cheese, fried sweet plantains and avocado slices); she liked mine so much that she ordered one for herself. Her la del gato arepa was good too, but not as filling as my porky preggers arepa.

bill

While it's certainly affordable, you don't really get a bang for your buck. (Tiny's is definitely a bang, for example.) What's a step lower than a bang? A poke? Can you get a poke for your buck? ...What the hell does that mean? Er. Well, it was tasty and I would like to eat more arepas, but I'm not dying to go back. (I wouldn't be opposed to going back if anyone else wants to try it though. Their menu is pretty large and I didn't get to try any desserts.) However, it's nice to finish a meal without consequently feeling like you have to be wheeled out of the restaurant on a flatbed truck (since, you know, that's the only thing that will comfortably accomodate your girth). I'd say this place is worth trying. Next stop: Venezuela!

Fluorescent yellow...

...IS THE COLOR OF MY URINE.

Hm. I suppose it's the supplements I've been taking lately. They're green. I can see them turning my pee an alarming shade of yellow that would otherwise seem to result from the ingestion of radioactive waste, or being zapped with some radioactive ray of fluorescent doom that the government created for fun. "It makes our organs glow, wee!" They gotta do something to amuse themselves, right?

So that's my introduction. Moving on, I'm in the bathroom right now, balancing my laptop on the toilet seat cover. Why? Well, I just love the way this bathroom rug caresses my bum...no, that's not it. My roommate went to sleep already (at around 12:30 AM, which I'm sorry to say is early for me) and even though she wouldn't rip my head off for continuing my annoying typing under the aid of a light that shoots out wavelengths that allow me to...ye know, see stuff, but also inconveniently bounce off the walls into her eyes every so slightly (I live in a studio and the way our furniture is set up, my desk is parallel to her bed), I'm pretty sure she'd be pissed off if I stayed out there, invading her sleep with CLICKING SOUNDS and HORRIBLE LIGHT and OH MY GOD, I AM SATAN.

(sigh) I do care enough to not bother her though. I mean, I do bother her sometimes, such as when I don't move myself to the bathroom for late night typing (I wouldn't be so reluctant if we had a wireless connection in the dorm), but she unintentionally shoots right back by letting the kitchen trash bin accumulate so that the trash level reaches "you cannot possibly shove any more crap in here" or the sink level reaches "you cannot possible shove any more crap in here either"

But it's not that bad; I'm just hard to please. However, I'm very passive about it (every time I take out the garbage because it gets to the point where it seems to be giving birth to more trash, I internally give her the finger), thus why I am in the bathroom, and why you just read three paragraphs that were unrelated to food. Sorry. She's actually not a bad roommate, but she's no super-friend either. Next year I get to have yet another random roommate because friends who dorm are nonexistent. All those dreams of living with friends in college are down the drain, mingling with hairs of all different ages, coagulated by dirt and soap gunk.

Anyway. Food?

City Bakery hot chocolate

I went to City Bakery last Friday with Sarah, Carol, and Patricia so that we could all get a dose of hot chocolate and/or a baked good and/or a chocolate coma. Sarah and I were especially excited about the flavor of the day, "Caramel Hot Chocolate". I dunno about you, but I sure love my burnt sugar products. SUUURE DOOOO. I think CB's regular hot chocolate costs $3 a cup while the flavored ones tack on another $1.50. This better be some damn good caramel.

frothy

It looks good, eh? See that froth? It's frothy! Boy, you didn't see that one coming. This was the third time I drank CB's hot chocolate; it was thick and, dare I say...luscious? (I don't really like that word for some reason.) You know those Pepto-Bismol commercials that feature an animation of a stomach slowly being engulfed in a liquid curtain of thick, pink goo? That's what it feels like to drink this hot chocolate, but more pleasant. Hopefully. (ACtually, too much hot chocolate could do the opposite of Pepto-Bismol and give you stomach problems. Just made sure to not drink a gallon of the stuff.)

HOWEVER, sadness looms ahead. Neither Sarah nor I could taste the caramel. There may have been just a whisper of caramel in our cups, but who wants that? I wanna be shot in the head with caramel, dammit! This was like a flick! Sarah investigated our hot chocolate by getting a sample of the flavored one; after we both tooks sips, we realized that this was what it was supposed to taste like, as in it tasted a lot like regular hot chocolate. Nothin' more. I find that unaccceptable, as I've had their ginger hot chocolate and was clearly shot in the face with tingly ginger-ness (okay, not shot in the face, but it was a strong flavor that melded nicely with the thick chocolate). Where's mah caramel? Wheeere?!

Oh, I still drank the whole thing of course. Happily. When I was done, I thought, "Wait, I could have more!" However, my last CB hot chocolate drinking experience--during which I downed nearly two cups due to overestimating how much I could drink--resulted in a chocolate coma and continous thoughts of, "Oh my god I'm going to die why won't my head stop doing that wooshy thing and my leg keeps jerking what is up with that oh jeez chocolate in my veins what is the teacher saying and why'd I drink all that chocolate?" No wonder I waited a year before allowing CB's hot chocolate enter my bloodsteam again.

passion fruit tart

Instead of going for the chocolate chip cookie, no matter how tempting it was, I opted for the small, minimalist passion fruit tart, decorated with a splodge of what may have been raspberry jelly (well, it ain't orange). "Time to try something new, Robyn! DO IT. PEOPLE ARE DEPENDING ON YOU." I don't know whick people in particular my brain was referring to, but whatever; it sends me cryptic messages that I follow through on for no good reason.

passion fruit tart innards

I didn't know what to expect, but this tart wasn't exactly what I was expecting. From the looks of it, I thought the filling would have a thicker, custard-like texture, but instead it was very light and somewhat airy. It was creamy, just not in the stomach-coating sense. The thin, tender crust broke down at the approach of my fork. And knife. Which I guess is supposed to happen. (Sure is better than having to attack it with your fork and knife repeatedly, only to send crust bits flying while making your dessert and plate look like a stabbing scene.) If you don't know what passion fruit tastes like, it's quite tart and otherwise hard for me to explain because it doesn't taste like much else; I'd say this tart's passion fruity-ness was just right. The tart was fine and I enjoyed it, but I like denser things and would enjoy a $2 cookie much more than a $6 tart. Hell, three $2 cookies! Hehe. Hehehehehe. (rubs hands together)

So that was my CB excursion. Strangely unflavored flavored hot chocolate and an interesting, but not-my-cup-of-tea tart. I'm going back to CB this afternoon to try the chili hot chocolate. That flavor definitely shouldn't make me wonder whether it's actually flavored or not.

mm, more chocolate

An anonymous baked goods donor (but not very anonymous if you poke around my blogosphere) has showered me with goodies from the soon-to-be-opened Bouchon Bakery, aka Thomas Keller's latest venture, aka THE BIG TK IS OPENING A BAKERY FOR THE NYC-BASED MASSES, BWAHAAHA! Sure, he's not actually tying ribbons around these bags of chocolate cake bits (which I think are called bouchons, but I'd rather call "chocolate cake bits" because the word "bouchon" sounds too refined for my blog and you know how I liked to downgrade things to a plebeian level), but he surely had some hand in ...um, everything Bouchon makes. This is the closest I will ever get to eating his food. Ye-up. I'll tie that Per Se ribbon to my backpack and explain, "Nope, so didn't go there."

And not that this guy is tying the ribbons either, but the pastry chef is S�bastien Rouxel. I don't know him, but he's automatically awesome. Every pastry chef wins the badge of awesomeness. Unless they derive pleasure from torturing cute animals, which I doubt they do.

As my friend is thoughful enough to smuggle me this tasty contraband (my first response when they handed me a scone and a cookie was something like, "OMG I LOVE YOU NO WAY *takes a breath* AHRAHHRA SCONE NO WAY") I will give you pointless reviews of what I have tried so far, "pointless" because everything's good.

chocolate cake bit

Mm, chocolate cake. Moist, dense, and full of chocolate. There were bits of something in here, but I had a lobotomy in my sleep and forget what the bits were. Um. Chocolate? Nuts? It's mainly cake with nothing else. I can't think of anything wrong with it, "wrong" being that it was too dry, crumbly, sweet, unsweet...nah, I've got nothing. I guess that means it didn't blow me away either, but I'd definitely put this in the "eat again" list.

white chocolate truffle

truffle innards

For some reason, I liked how it was wrapped up in plastic like any old candy. This truffle had a white chocolate shell delicately coated with toasted-coconut and filled with vanilla bean-speckled white chocolate ganache. Methinks. There's a manual for the bakery/cafe with overly detailed descriptions of everything, which I unfortunately do not possess. This was actually sweeter than I was expecting (WHOA, HOLD THE PRESSES), but I do like my sugar so that's fine with me. Also, white chocolate tends to be sweeter; I love white chocolate. Just. Love. If you don't like white chocolate my assumption is that you may not have had good white chocolate. People who say they don't like white chocolate because it's not chocolate kind of drive me insane; no duh it's not CHOCOLATE-chocolate. Let's not pick at semantics here. If you truly do not like white chocolate though, then that's cool. Avoid this truffle. I wouldn't. ;)

scone

Behold, the lemon currant scone. Lordy. This was the clear winner; it was just SO DAMN TASTY. Crumbly and buttery with a crispy sugar coating on top, I would gladly eat a few more of these. Two. Three? Four? CAN WE HAVE A CONTEST? They were unlike any other scone I had ever had, perhaps more comparable to shortbread-esque Russian tea cakes I used to eat from Whole Foods (I know that description doesn't help you much, but I haven't eaten those tea cakes in years and you know...I had that lobotomy) than a drier, breadier, biscuit-like scone. The texture kind of reminded me of shortbread except not as dense or rich, but still containing enough density and richness to be totally awesome. Yeah. This made me very happy.

chocolate chip cookie

innards

Mmm, the humble chocolate chip cookie. This was certainly better than a lot of other chocolate chip cookies I've had, but despite its chewy-crispy texture that I enjoy, plus the layered chocolate chunk-innards that I also enjoy (who wouldn't?), I wouldn't prefer this over my top three cookie purveyors (City Bakery, Jacques Torres, and Levain Bakery). It probably didn't help that I ate it after the "I really love this" scone.

So...that's all I've had so far. I don't know if there are more things coming, but I hope so, even if my pancreas wishes otherwise.

Murray's Bagels

Bagels are synonymous with NYC. I didn't really know that until I read an essay about...bagels. Well, it was more about ethnic foodways in America, or something like that (I think the essay started talking about immigrants from the Middle East opening NY-style delis in the mid-west that sold bagels, or something along those lines, which I actually read again for a different class this semester yet have already forgotten because I HAD THAT LOBOTOMY), but it talked about the history of bagels and their connotations. Bagels in NYC (and at least the Tri-State/Mid Atlantic/New England area?) are just bagels, while further out they NY or Jewish bagels, fuuurther out maybe American bagels, even fuuurther out maybe Earthling food...eh, I forgot.

Although I've grown up around bagels in NJ, I didn't eat them often. Besides that my childhood wasn't rich with breakfast food, I didn't regularly ingest yeasted wheaty products (I was all about the rice, my friend). Sometimes I'd plunk down $0.50 in high school for a bagel; god knows why, as at some point I realized all the food sucked and I'd be better off eating lunch at home after school was over. Today I was feeling especially random, debating whether to grab a quick lunch/snack from Panya (mm, curry pan?) or Life Thyme (mm, salad and yogurt?). For some reason, I picked Murray's Bagels on 6th Ave instead, mainly because I had never been there before and it was somewhat on my walk from class to work.

sesame bagel with scallion cream cheese

I'm no bagel connoiseur, but as I don't eat many bagels to begin with, I like to get them from places that make them there. So far I've tried Ess-A-Bagel and Bagel Bob's, which were both good, although no source of...bagel-gasm, for lack of a better term. Murray's Bagel (I got sesame seed) is also very good, crispy on the outside and chewy inside. although not really a source of bagel-gasm (I don't think there is such a thing; I like most bagels). However, I opted--for the first time in my life--to add the awesomeness of a layer of scallion cream cheese spread smooshed between the bagel halves. And...this made it SO AWESOME. This cream cheese! Have I ever had cream cheese like this before? So creamy? So scallion-y? [Insert other unhelpful adjective?] NO. NEVER. I've probably only had plain, "okay" cream cheese my whole life, not anything this smooth and creamy with the property of auto-melt-age upon hitting my tongue, along with any other surface in my mouth. Mmm. Mmmmmm. Creamy scallion-y goodness in conjunction with chewy, moist bread. It's far from healthy, but...eh, whatever.

City Bakery innards

Even though I had just went there a few days ago, I went back to City Bakery yesterday (which was crazy-busy, resulting in "standing room only" for most of the stay) with Mary and Allen to try their "Even Spicier Chili Hot Chocolate". A part of me was hoping that upon drinking it, it would make my head explode, or something...less violent. I have no idea what it was "even spicier" than, but perhaps at some point they had "Chili Hot Chocolate" and people were like, "No, this sucks, make it spicier", so they kicked it up a notch (that's a pretty bad story; I hope they have a better one).

Even Spicier Chili Hot Chocolate

...A notch above nothing? It was spicy, but not "head explodee" (yes, two e's) spicy. Dammit, I wanted explosions! I wanted my throat to burn, not just slight tingle after giving the drink sufficient time to coat my esophagus and travel to my brain! (Yes, esophagus, then straight to the brain. Biology is not my forte. Hell, I'm not trying to impress anyone.) I guess at the very least my throat did tingle, but I wanted more. I'd compare my experience to Anthony Bourdain's disappointment when eating fugu didn't result in instant, beyond-painful death, except...on a smaller scale. To be fair, the flavor is called "Even Spicier Chili Hot Chocolate", not "So Spicy Your Head Is Gonna Splode Hot Chocolate", so it's not like they falsely marketed it. Or perhaps my tastebuds just don't work correctly. Ah. So many variables. [sigh] Of course, the hot chocolate was still sinfully "I'd rather not know how many calories are in this" rich, but once again, the flavor fell flat. I guess I should stick with regular hot chocolate from now on.

hot chocolate pouring

We were quite mesmerized by this tall lanky dude left with the task of pouring cups of thick hot chocolate and frothing them up seemingly forever amidst bellows of "REGULAR" and "FLAVOR SHOT" and "REGULAR SHOT" and "MARSHMALLOW SHOT" (well, not the last one...oo, a shot of marshmallow; I'd eat that) because people just kept on ordering the hot chocolate. Forever. Because it's awesome. All hail the hot chocolate pouring dude, for it is he that keeps the joy a-flowin'. At least, until he takes a break, which he probably does at some point.

chocolate chip cookie

Behold, my third time buying a chocolate chip cookie from City Bakery. It's good stuff; don't let anyone tell you differently. I mean, it's not good for your body, but ...some part of you will enjoy it. The part that likes butter and sugar. Yes.

Zozo's Fresh Food Diner

interior

On sunny and chilly Saturday afternoon, I went to Zozo's Fresh Food Diner in the Lower East Side with Wei for some burger and milkshake action. I really liked the interior design of this place; long, clean and sleek, but not in a minimalist/modern way. It has a sunny West-coast feel, aided by the...um, sun shining through the windows, but I feel like even on a cloudy day it would still feel bright and light-earthy (as opposed to a woody, dirt-filled forest feeling, akin to my backyard in NJ).

blackened with cajun mayo

I ordered a blackened with cajun mayo burger, which came on an English muffin bun with tomato slices and baby greens toppings on the side.

mayo

burger innards

I suppose if you don't get it blackened, it will be less black. As you can see, I like my burgers tomato-less (click on the photo for excessive discussion about this topic). All my life, I've always been adverse to plain tomatoes. To me, in a burger or any kind of sandwich, they have a tendency to make things soggy and due to their slippery/Satanic nature, they likes to plop out and make your eating experience messier than you'd wish. In other words, they're pure, untamed evil. I don't really mind the taste of tomatoes, but raw, unadorned ones give me weird vibes; even the smell puts me off. Cooked is fine, dried is okay, sauce-ified I can do, but raw, not so much.

Oh, as for the burger? It was good. It was moist enough for me to designate it as moist, although just a weeeee bit more moisture would've been nice. I think more sauce would've helped too, as I couldn't taste much of its flavor (and I ended up putting ketchup on the burger; ketchup doesn't taste like raw tomatoes, mrah!). I really liked the soft, chewy English muffin bun and would love it if more sandwiches came that way. One problem I see with this burger is that it's rather small and I think many people could easily eat two...except for $7 a burger (probably more depending on which one you get), people probably won't do that.

fresh mint shake

frothy

As I've given myself the mission to try any milk shake that sounds good for the sake of finding the best milkshakes in NYC and sharing my research with the world (yup, it's a completely unselfish venture...[nods slowly]), I went for Zozo's fresh mint shake. While it's definitely got the fresh minty taste, the texture was too thin for me to truly enjoy it. The shake wouldn't stay in the straw! The straaaaw! OH LORDY. Wei got a mango milk shake, which was able to defy gravity, but I guess the mango pulp would contribute to that, unlike mint leaves, which...wouldn't, and these shakes aren't ice cream-thickened). So perhaps the mango milkshake is good, but skip the mint.

pistachio bundt cake

After Zozo's was a short walk to Sugar Sweet Sunshine for a bakery fix. I had my eye on the pistachio bundt cake for ages (partially because it's called "bundt" and I like that word) and finally, WE MET. IN DIGESTION BLISS. It was very good, although I gotta say, cake without frosting is...not very exciting. But it costs less! Hoorah! Pistachio bundt cake is good stuff.

I have perhaps a weird thing peeving me that I've overthought, but since this is my blog I get to spill out my brain puke to you unfortunate readers. The girl who cut my bundt cake (BUNDT BUNDT BUNDT, SHOUT IT LIKE YOU MEANT IT) didn't charge me right away, which I thought was odd. After Wei got his slice of cake, she charged him for both of out cakes without asking/telling either of us. I've paid for other friend's stuff before, but I'm always asked beforehand if I don't actually tell the cashier that I'm paying for both. In this case, Wei didn't even know he was paying for me and the girl only told me after I took out some money.

"He paid for you."

Oh. Um. Thanks for...telling me. At first it just seemed like Wei was overcharged for his cake.

Anyway. See, it's a very minor thing, but I've been to Sugar Sweet Sunshine at least 10 times by now, and maybe all my bakery visits in NYC would total around 50 by this point, and that has never happened before. I'm sure the girl who rang up our order is a cool person, but I got un-happy-sunshine vibes from her (unlike some of the other people there, who extrude happy-sunshine vibes). :( Yes, I get vibes, probably due to a chromosomal mutation. Eh.

preorder

I'm taking preorders for the Poofy pancake shirt until this Saturday. Or. Sunday. Eh. Whatever. I need to set a deadline so that 1) people actually send me their orders instead of procrastinating, like I would do (you're not PAYING for the shirt now, so don't worry about that) and 2) I can get these made ASAP without gouging my bank account. It's a reasonable request, eh? Despite the initial excitement over the shirts, I haven't gotten as many pre-orders to match. I'll order them no matter what, but I just want to make sure that the shirts pay for themselves.

Je Bon

Here's a cheap food event for NYU students (which might be...one person reading this, or none at all). I'll go if I can find someone else to join me. Not going for mingling, of course; I just want food. Full info:

HKSA will be hosting our upcoming event at Je'Bon Noodle House, a new restaurant on St.Mark's between Taisho & Kenka. Please come try out a sample of its signature dishes from Hong Kong, Malaysian & Japanese for an unbeatable price (normally just the oxtail noodle costs $10).

Braised Oxtail noodle soup, Kinchinabe (special Gyoza-like dumplings), Hong Kong style Aberdeen Noodles, Pan-Fried Silver Needles, Hong Kong style Lotus Wrap (dim sum), various meat skewers etc

Date: 2/23/2006 (This Thursday)
Time: 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.
Location: 15 St.Mark's Place
Cost: $3 All-you-can-eat buffet & unlimited soda
Invited Guest: HKSA, ACU, CMS, KSA, Singaporean, Malaysian, TASS, Thai-SA

Please show your NYU ID as this is an NYU-exclusive event.

P.S. Just a small tip for you guys, try to get there as early as possible because we'll be capping the capacity at 50 people. You can't find $3 dinner anywhere else on St.Marks!! ; )

Washington Square CSA

Tomorrow the Washington Square CSA (which I'm not on the committee of, but am involved in due to being the webmaster and that it's one of my class's projects) is having this event to promote next season's CSA:

12:30 PM-2:00 PM
"Meet Our Farmer"
Pless Lounge (82 Washington Square East)

I think they'll also be selling eggs, if you want some FARM FRESH CHICKEN EMBRYOS! I'm not sure if I'll go since I already do intend on joining the CSA. If you live around the area, it'd be a great idea to join. There's loads of products during the season (I got to take a lot of it home for free last year, bwahaha) and you support farmers. WE LIKE FARMERS! They give us food! My teacher said it nicely today: "We like the idea of having farmers...just as long as we don't have to actually be the farmers." Yeah, I gotta admit that I don't see myself hunkering down on a farm anytime soon so that I can be one/imprisoned with the land.

Today I went to the Union Square Whole Foods for pesto-making supplies. To my surprise they even sold mortar and pestles. Two kinds (stainless steel and stone). If they didn't have em, I would've had to make my way to Chinatown, which despite its proximity I was definitely not in the mood to walk to (it's probably the same distance from my dorm as Whole Foods is from campus, but walking to Chinatown requires going up an incline...damn, I'm lazy). Since my bottle of olive oil is almost gone (all ingested by me, yes'm), I got a new bottle. But...so many choices! Crap! After staring at the oil section long enough for people to come to the conclusion that I was lost or didn't know English, I settled on Coltibuono. Mid-priced, and sounds promising.

The results of my highly unprofessional tasting (I used it as bread dip and chomped away; how uncouth) is: mmmm, good stuff. It has a mellow, bitter taste that despite my dislike for bitterness I actually liked. It also had that slight "throat tingling/burning" sensation that I also like with olive oil, but don't usually taste. Mm, tastes like burning. Otherwise, it tasted like olive oil. I think. I should probably do the olive-oil-shot tasting, but maybe later.

On the bus, I heard a guy talk about White Castle:

"Don't ever let anyone tell you that White Castle is good. I couldn't even finish one burger. It's only good if you're high."

I don't know when was the last time I went to White Castle.

And now...it's pesto makin' time.

Hot chocolate was awesome when I was a kid. "It's chocolate! And I can drink it! I DO NOT HAVE TO CHEW!" Granted, I don't chew non-liquid food that well anyway, but...hot chocolate! It's a warm sweet liquid that isn't bitter like tea or coffee, nor is it a savory soup.

But alas, the love has waned. The fun of dumping a packet of chocolate-sugar-milk powder in a cup of hot water, vigorously stirring the water to melt and unclumpify the powder and then burning my tongue due to over-enthusiasm is just a relic of the past. A RELIC. Like Mayan ruins, but not nearly as interesting or historically significant. The hot chocolate of my youth is a little hand-carved rowboat drifting off to sea without any passengers, and I'm on the shore, thinking, "...Yeah, that boat was cool when I was little, but it kinda sucks now."

hot chocolate with whipped cream

I hope you read the other two paragraphs since they were meant to build up to this photo/paragraph. Then again, if I were you I'd probably just focus on the photo. Short attention span, ye know.

I hadn't been to Panya since last year, so naturally...I went to Panya yesterday to grab a quick lunch. It's right by my photography class so it does make some sense. Their proclaimation of "HOT CHOCOLATE WITH WHIPPED CREAM" ($2, $1.75 without cream) on their chalkboard caught my eye. "Hot chocolate, eh? Welll, I said I wouldn't go back to City Bakery anymore...although I really could use a chocolate coating in my stomach. But I can't; it's too far. And I made a pact. A PACT!" (Don't worry, I dont really talk to myself in that manner. Maybe.) As regular hot chocolate, there's nothing wrong with Panya's. It's a matter of fulfilling expectations; it would've been great if I wanted hot chocolate milk, but as for hot chocolate period, not so much. The first, tongue-searing sip reminded me of what I drank as a child. Ah. Nostalgia.

But it's not good enough anymore! BEHOLD:

City Bakery hot chocolate

City Bakery has ruined me. Their hot chocolate is a gateway drink to harder things (my god, are there things harder than their hot chocolate), thus my palate now only feels delight when smothered with a drink that straddles the line between "You can safely swallow this, kinda," and, "Dude, that's an ice cream topping." While some people say that CB's hot chocolate is too rich, I can drink a cup fairly easily. A cup. More than one is a bad idea, "bad idea" meaning "pseudo-death".

muffin of the week!

muffin innards

Panya's Muffin of the Week (strawberry) looked mighty tasty, so I granted one the not-so-high honor of entering my digestive tract. This was a pretty good muffin: moist, not crumbly, not too sweet. Overall, not disappointing! Woo! Different from most muffins, this one had a cavity for a whole, mooshy strawberry (like coming upon an animal's entrails, mm!) and an awesome crispy-cookie-like top. I wouldn't say I'd get the muffin again, but it's one of the better things I've had at Panya.

pumpkin cupcake

Although I didn't buy one yesterday, I'd recommend the pumpkin cupcakes. Look, they have a mountain of them, just waiting for you!

Remember that $3 dinner thing I posted about the other day? I ended up getting Nancy to join me, so a little before 6:30 we headed towards Je Bon to see...lots of (mainly Asian) students. It wasn't Mecca during Ramadan (don't ask me why that was the first comparison to pop into my head), but there was a bit of a line forming eastward in front of the entrance. The restaurant started letting people in, and then...

...They stopped letting people in. We got up to the door, which wasn't very far from where we had originally stood, and heard a guy say that either the buffet was full or there wasn't one at all. I guess the first one makes more sense, except I don't see how it filled up that quickly. Maybe 50 people teleported inside, or my counting is off. The restaurant did offer 50% off for NYU students, but Nancy and I felt jipped so we decided to go somewhere else. I don't know if the even was over-publicized (I received two emails about it, one from the Restauranteur's Club and the Taiwanese student association whatnot, neither of which I'm actually in) or poorly organized, but at the very least I think the restaurant should've told all the people in line what they were actually waiting for.

After some discussion about where to go, Nancy insisted that she didn't care where we ate as long as it had food that was semi-fast and not going to kill her right away. Since I had been meaning to go to Grand Sichuan, we went up to the second-story restaurant for what I think was our first Chinese food meal together.

Grand Sichuan

The restaurant has a nice interior. Not too bright or dark lighting, carpeted floor, mellow colors, and plenty of space.

tiny pork buns (soup dumplings

innards!

We started with the pork soup dumplings since I've heard this dish recommendation a number of times. It was good, although as usual, I don't know how it compares to previous soup dumplings I've had. I've tried them at Joe's Shanghai, New Green Bo, Goodies, Chef Liu's, and Shanghai Cafe; there's no clear winner. If I am to go by price, I'd pick Chef Liu's, which was...really cheap. Mmm, I like cheap. Grand Sichuan's may have been less soupy than other ones I've had, but I could be wrong. There was enough soup in it; I certainly don't want the thing to explode on me.

Sauteed Shanghai Bak Choy

For something plant-based at an attempt to be marginally healthy (per Nancy's request, we also got brown rice instead of white), we got this mountain of sauteed Shanghai bok choy. I can't think of anything bad about it, so I guess that means it's good. (How much more vaguely can I describe food?) It wasn't too greasy, overcooked, or overly seasoned. Mm, veg. I need fiber.

Chong Qing Dry & Spicy Chicken

For the "killed animal" part of our meal, we ordered Chong Qing Dry & Spicy Chicken. The waiter explained to us that they had special fresh killed chicken, and the more freshly killed, the more delicious! Death is tasty, folks! We went for freshly killed spicy chicken bits. God, who can resist? WHO?!

Half of the mountain you see in the photo is composed of chile peppers. When they say spicy, they mean it. Being the dumbass that I am (very uninitiated with dishes involving piles of chiles), I decided to eat a forkful of them at once.

"Ah, it can't be that bad." *shoves in mouth*

"...How is it, Robyn?"

"Surprisingly, it's not that bad. Hm." *chew chew* "I don't taste much spiciness. That's odd."

"...Hm...I couldn't eat all those peppers."

"My throat's a little tingly now. Hm. ...OH CRAP MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE AND I CAN'T BREATHE AND MY NOSE FEELS WEIRD AND MY EYES ARE WATERING AND...I SEE A TUNNEL."

Moral of the story: don't shove a forkful of chiles in your mouth and chew thoughtfully while wondering when the flavor's gonna kick it. It will kick in. And punch/stab your mucus membranes. It wasn't the spiciest thing I had ever eaten, but I did wolf down some rice and water and anything that wasn't spicy to alleviate the heat. Afterwards, my mouth felt tender, as though...it got smashed. I'm all better now, but god, that was weird.

Oh, the chicken part! It was pretty good, but not really my cup of tea. I liked the spice combination; unfortunately, I'm bad at identifying spices, thus I can't tell you what they were. Nancy said she tasted star anise, which disagreed with her tastebuds. I tasted hot firey death. It wasn't bad! A complaint I have is that most of the meat was on these tiny, pokey bones that would've been cool if they were replaced with nuts, but THEY WERE BONES, which are less edible; I think the dish would've fared better in the form of boneless chicken. But that's just my preference.

The final bill came to about $18 per person after tax and tip. Not bad, but not a bargain either. I wouldn't necessarily recommend or not recommend Grand Sichuan. It might be the only good Chinese restaurant in the area, and it's a comfortable place to eat, especially for Chinese food (which tend to lack in the "interior design" aspect). They also have a cheap mini-menu that's probably not bad. Just don't eat a gazillion chiles.

And then I went home and felt constipated, but that's another story (and unrelated to Grand Sichuan since I already felt clogged beforehand...and yes, this is too much information for you, but we all have similar problems).

EDIT: Some addendums!

Behold, the most saliva-inducing message I've ever received from my RA:

Pancake Night

Feb. 21 - 27 is National Pancake Week as well as National Eating Disorder Awareness Week

Come celebrate by learning about Eating Disorders and enjoying lots and lots of Pancakes!

Sunday Feb. 26 8:00PM
Room 402

Hot damn, if that's not a good way to celebrate National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, I dunno what is! I'll probably develop a disorder after excessive pancake-ing. Great.

I Heart Guts! is selling t-shirts! I'd totally go for a smiling yellow stomach, but I want a men's size and there aren't any smalls. Poot! Surely one of you would like a cute stomach shirt.

Latest blog subscriptions: Weird Meat documents Michael's weird meat eating experiences. I can imagine trying some of these things once, but others...I dunno. Poo goes out. OUT. Not back in. Hear me? (That's my favorite t-shirt, by the way. Classy.)

ALSO, IMPORTANT, surely someone would come to me with this food writer event:

New York University’s Fales Collection, the home of one of the nation’s largest and most prestigious archives in food studies, will host a panel discussion entitled “Food Writers in Greenwich Village” on Friday, March 10, at 11 a.m. The event is free for those with an NYU ID; for the public, a $10 donation is suggested. It will take place at NYU�s Bobst Library, 3rd floor, Fales Collection, 70 Washington Square South. For more information or to make a reservation, call 212.992.9018.

The panelists include:

• Mimi Sheraton, food writer and veteran food critic for The New York Times
• Madhur Jaffrey, author and leading authority on Indian food; known for her BBC food shows
• Betty Fussell, author of My Kitchen Wars, among other books; food historian
• Mitchell Davis, food writer; director of publications, The James Beard Foundation
• Jeffrey Steingarten, food critic for Vogue and author of The Man Who Ate Everything

The discussion is moderated by Clark Wolf, AIWF NY chapter�s founding chair and president and founder of Clark Wolf Company, the food, restaurant, and hospitality consulting firm.

Two other events are planned in this series: on Thursday, June 15, at 4 p.m., NYU will host “Women Who Cook for a Living in New York and Why There Aren�t More of Them” and on Thursday, October 19, at 4 p.m., “From There to Here: the Chains and Systems of Food.”

I save $10! Sweet. I knew that $40-gazillion tuition would pay off. Who's with me?

Lastly, thank you so much to people who have pre-ordered poofy shirts. Tomorrow is the last day, so if you think you want one, get your order in. I have enough unisex-size orders so that I don't have to buy extras (although I probably will), but I have some orders for women's sized shirts left to meet the minimum.

eating at Piola

On Saturday night (well, 5 PM being night), I ate at Piola near Union Square with nine of my favorite people in the world. I'm not one to organize huge eating parties (I prefer to dine with just one or two other people), but I knew all these people and they all knew at least one other person besides myself...to an extent. Well. They'd all become buddies in the end, as required by a law I just made up. Unsurprisingly, the place wasn't very crowded at 5 PM (I did make reservations beforehand just to be safe). The place was decorated for a Mardi Gras celebration, methinks; it looked pretty cool with brightly colored streamers hanging down from the high ceilings. I heard that the seats were uncomfortable, but as I was sitting by the wall on the cushy seats, my bum felt A-OK.

Piola's specialty is pizza. Lots of pizza. About 60 different kinds. Reading over the descriptions can get tiring, as every one seems to say "cheese", "tomato sauce" and possibly "crust". I guess they want to be sure you know what you're getting. The good thing is that even my non-cheese loving friends had something to get, as they have non-cheese pizzas. THERE'S SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE! And everything comes out on huge, white plates, huge enough that everything stays on the plate and off the table, while not so huge that the food looks microscopic by comparison or that the table feels too cluttered. Nice.

Margherita D.O.C.

another photo for no reason

Their menu lists Margheria and Margherita D.O.C., the only difference being that one has fresh mozzerella and not plain old mozzerella. I went for the fresh and indeed, it is. I'm not sure if I've ever had fresh mozzerella on a pizza, but it definitely made my taste buds happier. Hell, when I was chewing on the pizza, I thought, "Hm, tastes different. A nice sweetness...ohh yeah, it's fresh." Granted, it's not like eating a chunk of fresh mozzerella, but it's nicer than your average cheese. I was disappointed by the few basil leaves as I thought there would be...a bit more, possible scattered all over the pizza and not sitting in a tiny bunch in the center. It's more like a plain pizza with a hint of basil...YES, that's what they should've put on the menu. Gaarh! Well. I'm no pizza aficionado, so please excuse me for my basil gluttony. There was no excess grease running off the slice to remind me of my elementary school pizzas that peed orange puddles of "gonna make your napkin translucent" doom, which is a huge plus. Oh god, what kind of pizza did I grow up with?

upskirt

(Yeah, I pulled a Slice. Heehee.) I thought that the crust would be crispier than what it ended up being. It wasn't very crispy, nor sadly limp; it was just in the middle. IT'S NEUTRAL.

I EAT FOOD

Ahhh, I am eating food. Yes. These are the photos I like to send to my mum so she knows how gluttonous I am.

"How's it going, Robyn?"

"Oh you know, eating myself to an early grave as usual."

"You shouldn't do that."

"...Yeah, well, what can you do?"

Antica

Diana and Patricia ordered the cheese-less Antica pizzas, which came with tomato sauce and fresh tomatoes (and the basil pile).

fettuccini al ragu

As for non-pizza items, CJ ordered the fettuccini al ragu. I didn't ask him what he thought of it, but I suspect he would've said something if he didn't. Yay! [thumbs up!]

multicolore salad with buffalo mozzerella

That damn healthy Mary ordered a salad. This looks pretty nice though, and she raved about the chicken. RAVED. Damn, I'm curious enough to go back to try the chicken.

CJ eats!

CJ was the only one to order dessert. Alas, I have FAILED; I wasn't hungry enough to order dessert! THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT TASTY PART OF THE MEAL. Damn stomach, I hate you. Then again, the rest of us were also full...but CJ plowed on. God bless him.

Torta di Mele & Gelato

He ordered the apple pie with vanilla ice cream. For whatever reason, I scoffed at the idea of ordering apple pie a la mode--it sounded almost too simple, besides that I'm not a huge fan of fruit pies--but it smelled heavenly. This was not your basic American apple pie; it was like a huge apple tart. Layers of apple piled high in a soft, pastry crust that wasn't quite puff pastry, but more like puff pastry than a regular pie crust. Dammit, I should've gotten dessert!

bill

I can't comment on everyone else's dishes, so here's the bill. Not bad for 10 people, of course. I wouldn't say it's too expensive, but it's not cheap either. It's NEUTRAL. YES. LIVING IN A LAND OF NEUTRALITY. With tax and tip, I paid about $13 for my pizza, which was definitely enough food (I couldn't even finish the crust; I love crust!). If I went here with one other person, I'd share a pizza, a salad, and a dessert if we were still hungry.

Piola is a nice place to go with groups of people. If your friends are more adventurous, perhaps you can split a few pizzas. As I had read online, each one can feed one hungry person, or two semi-hungry people. I would've had no problem splitting a pizza with someone else, as I was pretty full by the end, but they're not that big (I'm kind of small, remember...I mean, my arms are fat, but LET'S IGNORE THAT). I wouldn't be dying to come back here (for one thing, there are so many other pizza places I have to try out), but it's not bad. All my friends seemed to enjoy their meals.

And then we were off to Webster Hall to see Stars and Magnet. It's not food related so that long winded commentary resides on my music blog, if you're curious enough to read it. The concert kind of drained me, hence this not-very-exciting entry (although I hope you found some parts of it interesting).

However, I will mention this music related thing: Magnet is playing at The Living Room on March 21st and I encourage you all to go. I mean, if you live in NYC. And only if you like Magnet. ...Okay, so far I'm not grabbing anyone's attention. If you think you'll like Magnet at all (you can listen to stuff on his website), seriously think about coming; I'll be there. In CJ's words, I "push Magnet like crack," and for good reason; he's awesome. Also, as he's from Norway, he's ALMOST NEVER IN THE US. If you are really interested in going, I might be able to get you a free ticket. Feel free to ask me, but only if you want to go and know you can. Preferably, you like me also. :)

Has anyone noticed how I'll sometimes go on these single-food crazes over the span of a week, eating more of one food than I would usually ingest in a year? I don't have any explanation for the overall pattern, but the instant-hypothermia-induced-death cold weather lately has given me more reason to drink hot chocolate.

When I see people hugging a warm cup of tea or coffee between their palms, I jealously think, "God dammit, if only I liked conventional hot liquids, then I too could artificially warm my insides as the rest of my body turns into an ice cube." (That may not be the exact though, but...it's not that far fetched.) The only hot liquid I really like is hot chocolate, and within the realm of hot chocolate I find most of it is unfulfilling. Too watery, too sweet, and primarily not enough chocolate. Can't a girl get coma-fied by way of chocolate? CAN'T SHE?!

While walking down from Union Square from class to work and getting my not-entire-covered face bitch-slapped by the cold, my brain said one thing: "Holy crap, you were practically falling asleep during class." And then it said another thing: "HOT CHOCOLATE, WANT." The problem with this desire is that I already knew that I'd be going to Jacques Torres later in the day, thus starting my morning with hot chocolate and having hot chocolate twice in one day probably wasn't such a good idea. But...but...

pastries!

And then I found myself standing inside Le Pain Quotidien on 8th Street and 5th Ave. Doh. It's such a nicely designed place, waaarm, displays resplendent with baked goods, waaarm, rows of crusty bread loaves behind the counter, waaarmmmm...and the menu declared the presence of hot chocolate. Ah-ha! I ordered a small hot chocolate and watched the employee pour liquid out of a metal pitcher labeled "HOT CHOCOLATE". Mm, hot chocolate pitcher...that's a good idea.

hot chocolate

$3.20 later, I had my small 8oz cup of hot chocolate. Smells good. Looks alright, kinda light. Tastes...kinda watery. Feels kind of watery. Not enough chocolate. Not overly sweet. Almost has this powdery taste, despite that its a liquid. And...not enough chocolate. Thin. Sad. I am. Defeated. And $3.20 poorer.

I had to try it to find out, yes? Now you know. Learn from my mistakes, dear children. The hot chocolate isn't not awful, but it's in no way worth the money. I did chug the cup since it was better than nothing; it was the first thing I ingested all day. Obviously it's the bread and other baked goods that Le Pain Quotidien is known for. I WAS CURIOUS, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. My hot chocolate adventures are not going well at all. If anyone has recommendations for awesome NYC hot chocolate that aren't from a chocolate store (because I'll eventually make my way to them) oir City Bakery and are downtown, let me know.

Bagels on the Square

interior

Last week I went to Bagels on the Square per mzn's recommendation after thinking about eating at Pearl Oyster Bar, but changing my mind when I realized it'd be more fun to eat there with someone else.

impressive selection

They've got a a wide selection of spreads to fulfill all your random cream cheese cravings. "Today I feel like...DUTCH APPLE." Or "Today I feel like...LESS FAT SCALLION." It's not low fat, just less fat; I guess that's truthful. In my opinion, if you're that concerned you may as well just skip the cream cheese. And skip the bagel. Eat a piece of fruit; they're damn tasty! But not bagel tasty.

After ordering an herb sourdough bagel with scallion cream cheese (yeah, I didn't feel like being adventurous with the filling), the man asked if I would want it toasted. Toasted? No one has ever asked me that before. Why yes, I would like my bagel toastified! There's a first time for everything.

french toast?

I was ready to walk out with just my cream cheesy bagel, but the "FRENCH TOAST" jumped in front of my face and punched it. Ow. Of course, I had to try it. So intriguing! So potentially delicious? We shall find out.

mm, bagel

innards

By the time I found a place to sit down (ended up going to the Kimmel Center), the warmth of the toastiness had largely dissipated. Of course, the crunchy results of the toasting remained; the bagel had a thin, crispy crust while the insides were moist and soft. [Drooool] I had no trouble chewing the bagel, although it did get a little messy from the splodgey, not-completely-firm cream cheese. Overall, I thought the bagel and cream cheese were great and something I'd want to get again. One thing I found funny about the toasted bagel was that it tasted texturally similar to an untoasted Murray's bagel (I'd say Murray's was chewier and not as soft). Maybe Murray's has a good reason to not toast their bagels; they already taste like they're toasted.

French toast bagel

innards

While I was planning to save the French toast bagel for later, I still had time left for my lunch break. "Gee, I may as well dig into the other bagel and carb myself to death." Now this bagel could've benefit from toasting. There was no crispy exterior to speak of and the bagel was so chewy that mastication made my jaw throb. I don't know if these problems only apply to the French toast bagel; I'd want to try an untoasted herb sourdough bagel to compare. I wouldn't say it tasted anything like French toast; it just had a really faint sweet flavor that made me prefer a plain bagel. As much as I love bready things, this was disappointing. Damn you, French toast bagel. I think we need some kind of society to protect the good "French toast" name and all the deliciousness it entails in the vein of wine regulations. French toast! I luuurve youuu!

["French toast bagel" wasn't necessarily a misleading name, but...I overreact. Rawr. A real French toast bagel would have to be a bagel fried in egg. Anyone try that?]