The Girl Who Ate Everything

Blogging about food and whatever since 2004.

I'm Sorry If I Look Like A Dick On Facebook...Also...Who Are You?

If you've sent me a friend request on Facebook but never got a response, I should probably explain why...

...It's because I didn't know who you are. That's all!

I fear this unintentionally makes me look like a dick, but for the past few years I've gotten in the habit of not responding to friend requests if I don't recognize who the person is and the person didn't introduce himself/herself, even if we have friends in common. You could ask, "Why don't you message the person to find out who they are?" And I'd say "...Ahh..awkward...aahhuh..uhh..ffuhg...bluuhuhffhfht." I probably should've come up with a stock reply by now, but I never did.

There is no grand screening process to how I accept friend requests. I accept if I know who the person is or if the person sends me a message—a sentence will do, maybe even a sentence fragment—telling me who they are/how they know me (and, you know, assuming the person's message isn't "I EAT PUPPIES WITH GLEE; THEIR MARROW IS DELICIOUS"). That's all! I've befriended many TGWAE/Serious Eats readers this way. I just don't want to guess who you are (yes, I can look at their profile, but sometimes most of the info is private). That's not too much to ask, right? Am I being too old-fashioned? Did I fail Social Media 101?

So if you sent me a request over the last few years and you wondered why I never accepted, now you know. If you feel like it, please do send me a message! I like people! I just want to make sure you didn't somehow accidentally send me a friend request and that you're not as confused about who I am as I am about who you are.

By the way, I don't want to give the impression that I get a bagillion friend requests on a regular basis. I don't get 'em that often. I've just accumulated a bunch from people I don't know over the last few years and I figured I may need to give a lil' explanation to prevent getting even more.

If you're wondering, "Hey, where is your personal Facebook page?" I purposefully didn't link to it. The URL is very easy to figure out, though. (I HAVE PROBABLY OVERTHOUGHT THIS, YEAH.)

Thanks for reading!


Kell / August 6, 2012 3:31 AM

I think people should make friend requests on facebook the way they would in real life.

"Hi, i'm (insert name here). I know you from (insert friend/website/mutual acquaintance here). Can I be your friend?"

Or maybe phrased in a less socially awkward way :) Otherwise, you're entitled to ignore them, they're the ones who are asking you for a favour!

Morten Båtbukt / August 6, 2012 6:45 AM

I do the exact same thing. I see no reason to accumulate "friends" who I have no idea who are. People use Facebook differently (if at all), and that's fine.

Angeline / August 6, 2012 7:07 PM

Robyn Lee is a pretty common name, I wouldn't be surprised if you got a few mistaken identity friend requests.

When I'm not sure if someone will remember me I usually throw in a quick message when I add them on social media sites.

Now back to the food!

roboppy / August 7, 2012 6:58 AM

Kell: I'm surprised more people don't introduce themselves on facebook! Even if awkwardly! I'm cool with the awkward.

Morten: I think I just use Facebook different from other people. I use it more for work than personal stuff...that's probably atypical, heh. Otherwise, I need it to remember birthdays. Which I guess is common. :)

Angeline: When I was started college, I got a few erroneous friend requests for another Robyn Lee at my school. I guess people thought "THERE MUST ONLY BE ONE ROBYN LEE AT THIS SCHOOL." Except my field of study was totally different. ...People didn't read my profile very closely.

roboppy / August 15, 2012 2:20 PM

Patrick: Aw, no, sorry I didn't recognize you right away! ;_; This post isn't dedicated to any one person, but...tens of people (that I still don't recognize). Who probably don't read this blog. After I made this post, I got a few more requests sans messages from people I don't how. Bluh.

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