The Girl Who Ate Everything

OGBC, don't ever leave me. Unfortunately I don't have a photo of the actual ice cream.

Imagine a pen of a dozen playful kittens. Magical kittens made of marshmallows, with delicately velvety fur covering their cushiony, sugar-scented skin. Now, imagine you're lying in this pool of warm kittens. (If you're allergic to cats, also imagine that you're not allergic to cats. And if you don't like cats, imagine that you like cats.) You're surrounded by tender feline fluffballs hobbling over your torso with their nubbin paws and legs, gently licking your face with their wee tongues, overall just cuddling the shizz out of you, resulting in paroxysms of giggles, or permanent happy Tom Haverford face, or a bit of both.

Put that joy into food form and you've got Ample Hills' ooey gooey butter cake ice cream: small chunks of St. Louis ooey gooey butter cake (more commonly called gooey butter cake) suspended in vanilla ice cream. When it's cold, ooey gooey cake isn't especially ooey or gooey, but you can taste its potential for ooey gooey-ness. Its texture is less cake, more brownie—specifically, like a prized corner slice of brownie, blessed with maximum crustiness and chewiness by the pan's edges. Imagine that bit, condensed, sans chocolate, with more butter. Yes; that's the stuff. Despite its temperature, frozen ooey gooey butter cake tastes like sunshine. Sweet, buttery sunshine.

Beware of the ORANGE ZONE.

"Do you feel healthier since going on your diet?"

This is the question I've heard the most in the last few months. I mean, aside from basic questions like, "How's it going?" or, "Did you go to bed at 3 again?" or, "What are you eating? Can I eat that?" (which is only asked by Hambone, the official Serious Eats dog, and it's not so much spoken as desperately transmitted through his glistening puppy eyes).

My not so encouraging answer: "Not really. Maybe less asthma, but otherwise I feel about the same." Not that I expect drastic changes so soon; it's only been about one and a half months since I started my healthier diet to prevent allergic reactions to food. The rough guidelines:

• No deep fried food (Alas, after a month of avoiding french fries, I've caved in two times so far.)
• No spicy food (I've cheated on this a few times too, but unlike with the fried food, it was accidental)
• No pizza (pretty easy to stick to since I didn't eat much pizza in the first place)
• Wheat only once a week (At first I wanted to cut it out completely, but it was too damn hard. And I must admit I ate wheat two days this week. Also, I still use soy sauce with wheat in it. I keep forgetting to look for the non-wheat kind.)
• Fewer non-wheat products (I tend to eat rice when I go out, but I've stopped cooking it at home.)
• More fruits and vegetables