September 9, 2007
Oakville: Day 7
"Happy birthday!" said Kat as she looked over to me from her bed.
I did what now...oh, that!
"Thanks. I FORGOT."
I've forgotten my birthday before. These things happen when you're prostrated on an inflato-bed. I also think birthdays cease to be sources of happy-fun-joy once you leave the shackles of compulsory education. Up until then you were young, but after you hit the mark of 18 years old everything goes downhill. There might be a grace period, some kind of plateau between the major stages of your life in the form of sleeping and watching TV excessively, but it tends to happen pretty quickly. When I was 18 turning 22 seemed so far away—now that I'm 22 I feel like I'll be 28 in no time. And then 30. And then wondering where my unborn children are.
My birthday was only mildly exciting. A part of me thinks, "Who cares that I am counting off another year to my death?" while another part thinks, "This is the only day of the year when it's all about YOU...and the millions of other people with the same birthday." The actual day of my birthday was uneventful since I spent its entirety on the train back to New York, a trip that took something like 14 hours. Sure, it was comfortable and productive, but...no. I learned an important lesson during the trip—going through customs will always take longer than you think it will. And it's all just to piss you off since, really, what dangerous stuff is being transferred between the US and Canada? Don't answer that—I'd rather be ignorant.
So Kat and I celebrated my birthday the day before my real birthday (which is August 27th). How did we celebrate?
- BAG O MILK
With bags of milk! ...Wait, I mean not with bags of milk. That would've been lame and somewhat confusing. If you don't know the wonder of bagged milk, check out this website dedicated to Canadian milk bags (actually, it's more like Ontario/Quebec Milk Bags; the rest of Canada isn't as milk bag-crazy). The internet knows everything.
We went to Dominion to get some food. And by food, I mean...
- gelato
Gelato? Yeah, we love gelato, so much that we'd get it from a supermarket. Their pistachio tasted funky so I went with the safer fruit flavors of peach and mango. Not bad! I mean, we're in a supermarket after all (how many supermarkets have gelato counters?), and it was only $2.23.
- Donut
- Squish
I finally got my taste of Tim Hortons in the form of a maple cream donut. It's like a Boston cream donut but with a maple glaze, I think. And it was...alright. Fried dough filled with sweet custardy good can't taste bad, but it doesn't have to send my taste buds soaring into the burning sun or anything. So it was alright. Donuts have yet to infest that part of my heart only reserved for things that send me into fits of happy spasms (like macarons and gelato).
- Eff u
On the lawn between Kat's house and the road we walk on to get to pretty much anywhere there were some innocent, non-spiky plants...and then there were also the evil spiky spawns of Satan that I managed to step on more than once. Accidentally. In the dark, okay? And the only reason I felt their wrath was because I was wearing flip flops at the time.
I don't normally give the finger to anything—nothing makes me quite that angry. But the plant deserved it. Unfortunately I couldn't inflict any physical pain onto it because of the whole "covered in thorns" things.
- CAKE!
Some of the things we picked up at Dominion were for my birthday cake! But not just any cake—a POOFY cake! I was quite excited as no one had ever granted me the joy of a specially made cake before. I pretty much just sat at my computer and edited photos while Kat slaved away on this cake recipe (we halved it). Every now and then I would give her words of encouragement ("Yeah, that looks creamed...kinda,") but for the most part I didn't help at all. I'm an awesome friend!!!
Here are the steps to making a Poofy cake.
- cutting
Cut away a Poofy-like shape from your cake loaf.
- Getting there
Keep going...
- Extra bits
Pull away the extra non-Poofy bits. EAT THEM.
- Mm, frosting!
Slather frosting on the cake with your color of choice. Since I originally envisioned Poofy as a light blue creature Kat mixed a buttload of blue food coloring with a bucket of plain vanilla frosting. Technically you could keep it white since Poofy is usually white (ain't no color in Poofyville) but we wanted our cake to be some frightening color that reeked of artificial ingredients. It's part of the FUN!!!
- Faceless
Check out your handwork. He's NEKKID! That ain't cool.
- Giving him life
Get a chopstick or a similarly shaped poking device and give Poofy the gift of sight. Fill the holes with more food coloring.
- He needs a mouth!
Use the chopstick/poking device to paint a mouth. I prefer a happy, wide-mouthed Poofy, but you could also make him sad. Or smiling. Or angry. Or confused. The possibilities are endlessss!
- Done!
Cherish your finished Poofy cake! He won't look like this for long.
- Stab
Put him out of his misery. A quick stab to the gut should do it.
- Chop chop
Chop him however you see fit. I cut away his appendages until he was just a square face. Even though he's really dead, he just keeps on smiling. There's a trooper.
The cake was shared between me, Kat, Anne Marie and Anne Marie's cousin. That was pretty much our dinner. Besides some potato chips.
- Niagra Falls
The next day I went on that oh-so-fun 14 hour trip back home and officially became older.
Hanging out with Kat is like nothing else. We noted a few times over the trip that we were both very odd, as apparent through our ability to greatly amuse ourselves just by muttering the word "sausage" in different accents. Kat has a lot more goofy friends than I have (it's something that comes with studying animation, I think), but around me (and vice versa) we hit some super-level of moronic behavior. It's hard to explain, but if there were an explanation it would contain the word "betch."
Yup, that's the summation of our friendship!
Addresses
Dominion and Tim Hortons are chains in Canada. Dominion is restricted to the Toronto area while Tim Hortons is EVERYWHERE, EVERYWHERE I TELL YA.
Byyyyye
I be going to Italy now. Blogging will occur as long as there is Internet available. JUST YOU WAIT.
Posted by roboppy at 3:36 PM
Comments (27)
Both milk bags and Dominion stores are found only in Ontario, to the best of my knowledge. Neither are found in Alberta. But Tim Hortons is indeed everywhere. I'm not a fan, though. I had that Dominion store gelato a couple weeks ago. The pistacio is a frightening shade of green.
Kathy: The halvah didn't melt at all! IT'S SO TASTY. I nearly ate that whole pistachio wedge.
Steph: I'm envisioning a world swarmed with Poofy cakes. Marching. Leaving trails of blue frosting...mm...
Jay: Damn, that site lies! It features a map of the whole country so I figured all of Canada was into bagging their milk. I've edited the entry to be more truthful. :)
Su-Lin: Thanks!
Lisa: Thanks for the clarification! Entry has been edited. Wikipedia says, "1.33 litre plastic bags (sold as 4 litres in 3 bags) are widely available in some areas (especially Ontario and Québec), although the 4 litre plastic jug has supplanted them in western Canada." What does the middle of Canada use? Hm...
Pistachio gelato should never be scary green. ...Even though it frequently is. Wah.
Tina: Maybe if someone filled a donut with..MACARON CREAM FILLING...damn that'd be weird.
I gotta pack now.
Eww I have always hated milk bags. o_O They're so STINKY! And everything that they touch becomes stinky, ie. your hands after you touch them to put them in the fridge. >.
Posted by: Bonnie at September 9, 2007 11:12 PM [#]
happy much belated birthday to you and the millions of others born on the same day as you.
milk bags scare me.
Posted by: Brenda at September 9, 2007 11:33 PM [#]
happy belated birthday!
Tim Horton's is okay, but if I'm going to nosh on donuts, I'll still go the Krispy Kreme route, as long as they are fresh. There are a few locations here, in Buffalo and other places way upstate and Erie, PA.
I'm full of useless info
Posted by: Michelle at September 9, 2007 11:33 PM [#]
i had the exact same experience at 22...28 was YEARS AND YEARS away.
now, i'm just waiting for the day i turn 40.
ps. sorry i couldn't meet up with you while i've been in new york. it's only one week and i've been running around like a headless chicken trying to get all my stuff done. have eaten well though...can only say i miss good yummy new york bagels and lox.
Happy Birthday, Robyn!
Can't wait to hear about your trip to Italy!
Posted by: shukumei at September 10, 2007 2:17 AM [#]
Happy birthday, Robyn!!
Posted by: Laurene at September 10, 2007 2:25 AM [#]
Bonnie: So everything smells like...milk? Euhh.
Brenda: Thanks!
It's just a bag of milk. JUST A BAAAG. It jiggles.
Michelle: Thanks!
I've never had a fresh Krispy Kreme donut. :\ I suppose one straight out of the fryer would be pretty awesome.
Rose: HAHA, oh man, when you're 40 you'll look like you're 30. Or younger.
No prob about not meeting up! I was busy too. Or lazy. Actually, both. And how bad a NY-er am I for not having had bagels and lox yet? I better get on that.
shukumei: Thanks! I hope I find a reliable source of internet. eeek.
Laurene: Thanks!
Your Canadian blogging ways have now forced me to copy you! I'm off to Toronto in 3 weeks! Also, I am sure we can name the Italy blog entries Land of Gelato part III: the original
Happy Birthdaywhee! (the whee sends it back in time so technically it's not late. I'm awesome). I know what you mean about those random spiky weeds. I just got a lawn so I know what it's like. "yay, yay, yay, ow wtf?"
Your cake was awesome - I thought you might get a kick out of this too (if it's spammy feel free to delete the link but I thought you might get a kick out of it):
http://warehouse.carlh.com/article_076
Posted by: Carl Huber at September 10, 2007 9:31 AM [#]
Happy belated bday, almost-same-bday person! Mine's 8/28! 22 didn't seem all that long ago and now I'm on the downward facing slope towards 30. =/
Did you try TimBits?
Posted by: Manda at September 10, 2007 11:38 AM [#]
I agree about the Krispy Kremes straight out of the oven! :D One of my favorite memories is walking two blocks in Las Vegas at night with a box of Krispy Kreme, and every person I'm passing commenting on how good they are.
Really random memory. X)
Anyway, a belated happy birthday to you! :D
happy birthday Robyn!
don't worry, 22 is still young. It's 25 you have to worry about.
Posted by: dana at September 10, 2007 12:47 PM [#]
B: Have fun in Toronto! If you find something particularly awesome let me know.
Carl: Oh, that's what "whee" does!...whoa, you learn something new every day.
Your cake is awesome, thanks for pointing it out! A bit more intricate than mine. ...Okay a lot more.
Manda: Thanks, and happy birthday to you too!
No Timbits I'm afraid. -__- Maybe next time.
Daisy: A BOX of Krispy Kremes...in Las Vegas. Sounds like a good memory. :)
Dana: Thanks! Okay, I'll freak out when I'm 25.
Bon anniversaire en retard! ("retard" in french means "late" not retarded ;)
The poofy cake looks so surreal... cool idea.
And wish you a nice trip in Bologna! Have fun and nice foodies :)
Posted by: Mickjagger at September 10, 2007 3:24 PM [#]
Happy belated birthday Roboppy!!!
Oh so you HAVE been to Timmy's! I really love the jelly-filled donuts with sprinkles on top. The sprinkles go CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH and it tastes delicious. The blueberry fritter is also yummy too - filled with blueberry jam!
I remember the good ol' days when Tim's had donuts so large that when you bought a dozen, they didn't fit in the box, and you had to bag a couple of them. Now they've shrunk. Boo.
Posted by: katie 
at September 10, 2007 6:34 PM [#]
ahh your cake totally reminds me of kraft spongebob mac & cheese in "ocean blue" sauce!
Posted by: jennifer at September 10, 2007 10:32 PM [#]
Yann: Thanks! Im having fun here so far...eating..stuff...yes.
Maria: Thanks!
Katie: My donut sounds pretty boring compared to one with sprinkles...or blueberries... -__-
Jennifer:...whoa that sounds kinda gross (light blue cheese?), but OK!
Marvo: THANKS FOR THE TIP!!! One day Ill burn one of those mofos to the ..ground..yes.
Christina: Thanks!
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have super fun in italy & see you at the end of the month!!! :)
p.s.
i hope yesterday's halvah never melted - it was so hot outside!
Posted by: Kathy at September 9, 2007 4:58 PM [#]