Pillows. Water balloons. Silly Putty. Guinea pigs. Myself. These things may seem incongruous when in fact they are all bonded by the characteristic of being squishy.
And that's okay. Sometimes. I'm sure guinea pigs are quite cute because of their squishiness (besides the attractiveness of being a small, furry being). But you know what else is squishy? STAY-PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN.
What's my point? Well. Today the squishiness of my...uh, uterine region alarmed me quite a bit. Nope, nothing's growing in there (and neverrrr wiillll), it's just squishy in an unsettling way. No, I don't expect it to be rock hard (that would be more alarming) but the level of squishiness I have attained (rather high) isn't very favorable. For a 20 year old.
...wow, why am I telling you this? Moving on.
This morning I had to go to the Time Warner Center since my Beverages class was scheduled for a tour of Cafe Gray. I timed my morning so that I could stop by Levain Bakery, which I had never been to before but heard had great cookies, before walking down to meet my class at 10:15 AM. Yes, I'm afraid that this is called "time management" in Robyn's world: "When do I leave my dorm so I can go to this bakery, get a good look around, inhale some freshly baked fumes, and give myself enough time to walk 15 blocks?" Miraculously, the time worked out perfectly and it turned out the subway I got on didn't stop at Columbus Circle anyway; I was destined to meet the cookie.
I got a 6-ounce chocolate chip walnut cookie from the surprisingly small bakery, which also sold scones and...I forget, actually. Despite it's small-ness, (they give you your order from the baking trays behind the counter, not from the display, which makes everything seem very fresh) I failed to keep track of their other offerings. Because I'm braindead. I'm sure they had muffins, but I can't remember much else.
I actually got to eat the cookie after leaving the restaurant (I'll get to that), around 11:30. I took a bite (by elegantly ripping off a chunk) on the subway; first impression is that it was good, much better than average, but didn't exactly blow me away. The cookie is freakin' huge so it's kind of between a scone and a cookie. However, when I ate the cookie later at work and again at night (it took all day to eat), it tasted better. And better. My main thought was "Oh my god, this is my favorite cookie ever, why does it taste so good, what is happening to my tastebuds, what what what?!" And I realized I could never buy it again because 1) it was sin in crispy-soft cookie form and probably had 1000+ calories and 2) it destroyed my appetite. Don't get me wrong--I still ate, but not with as much gusto as I usually would, Monday for example; that was a good day. Mmm. So why did the cookie destroy my appetite? Well, it was a titanic calorie/deliciousness bomb, somewhat disguised as one serving (or five). I don't even know how to describe the cookie to you besides that it's not your average cookie. It's freakin' MOUNTAIN. Of DOUGH. And THINGS IN THE DOUGH THAT MAKE THE DOUGH TASTE REALLY GOOD. And then it's BAKED into a WONDEROUS BUMPY GOLDEN CHUNK. If there were cookie mines underground (oh, could you imagine?), this is what you'd fill your wheelbarrow with while hacking away at the walls. To add more to my completely pointless description, it just had this amazing flavor and smell. I've decided that smell, even if unidentifiable (although by gut instinct you know it's good), is key; if it smells good in that nice, fresh sense, the chances of it tasting good are somewhat high. The weird thing is that one of the smells it gave off was of dried fruit; I kept thinking of cranberries. Maybe they picked up the smell from one of the other pastries.
(Thankfully, there are real food writers out there. Delusional people have told me that I have a future in writing. Oh, are you really sure? Read Rick's review and Clotilde's review. Rick succinctly states,
They are the Mike Tysons of the cookie world, swinging hard first and dealing with the legal implications later. Like the scones, they have a firm but soft composition, but they are beyond rich and meant to be consumed at a sensible pace.
And Clotilde reflects:
Nested in its increasingly see-through paper bag, this bulky half-pound little guy accompanied me for the next two days (and in fact all the way back to Paris), good-naturedly allowing me to tear off the occasional bite or two from its generous flanks. And this was exactly my kind of cookie -- crispy chunky chewy and all manner of adjectives rhyming in "-y".
Two days? Two day?! [curses] "Flanks" is one of the best words I've ever heard used to describe a cookie, but this may be the first cookie it applies to. Anyway, these descriptions are perfect and straight to the point, while mine is obviously a product of lack of...something...nevermind, I can only be so self deprecating in a public blog.)
Bottom line: if you like cookies and scones, this is so worth your $3.50, although I'd recommend sharing it with someone (there's no way I'm eating this again if I'm not sharing it, and don't even ask me about SAVING half of it for later...*pshaw*). If you don't like cookies and scones, you need to go far, far away, before your anti-cookie and scone demeanor taints my blog.
I have more to say, but I'll continue with my pointless meanderings tomorrow. However...
I mentioned ages ago that I'm doing an essay about food blogs. As you can see, I've progressed so much...*hack cough vomit* or not. I'm having trouble with my thesis, not because I don't have anything in mind but because I don't know if they're plausible. If you run a food blog of any type, please give me some feedback on these ideas my teacher helped me come to (and I don't think this is "cheating" since I'm writing about you guys):
- Given the increasing importance of discourse about food (I brought up food media, food channel, magazines, blah blah), blogs arise as an alternative form of media allowing food enthusiasts--not otherwise professionals in the food world-- (well, I know that many are in the food business, but then there are people like me who have psychological problems that lead to unhealthy food obsessions) a voice.
- Food blogs are a deliberate counter culture against the glossy, idyllic food images of Gourmet, Cook's Illustrated, etc. (To me, this is more of a thing that bloggers wouldn't be doing consciously, thus I'd have to dig it out. With. Forks. And knives. And skewers. It's related to the first idea so I can smush these two together if they both seems plasusible...which they do. Surely there are many food bloggers who are obsessed with the Food Network and have favorite cooki=ng magazines, although oddly, I happen to not watch TV or read food magazines. Books, you betcha, but magazines, not so much. And not cookbooks, but as you've noticed, I don't cook "real" food; FAKE, IT IS. Er, anyway, I brought up commercial food media as sometimes being incredibly porn-y and unreal and bloggers as independent media going against the picture-perfect food world. Or something.)
So those are some thoughts. My teacher is under the impression that I know a lot about food blogs, but it's all a lie. Liiiie.
However, the squishiness of my baby-growing parts is not a lie.