The Girl Who Ate Everything

Blogging about food and whatever since 2004.

behold the horror + random things

This isn't very food related, but for anyone who wants to get webhosting or has had problems with webhosts in the past, this entry might be the funs! And by "the funs" I hurts, oh god, why does it hurt?

Here's the exchange of emails I had with the 1and1 support team, who I think teacher into a bin of papers marked "THINGS TO TELL CUSTOMERS WHO KEEP BOTHERING YOU" and replied with whatever was written on the paper. ...And the papers came from another bin callled "THINGS THAT WILL DEFINITELY NOT WORK."

Some content has been edited down (although I left the spelling errors in for fun). You'll get the jist. I'm not the most competent webmaster, but I might be better on a webhost support team than these people. Which isn't saying much.

Message 1:

On Friday at around noon, I started having problems with my mysql database when I tried to update my Movable Type-powered blog. I got the error message:

"Error during upgrade: failed to execute statement alter table mt_comment add comment_junk_status smallint default 0: Access denied for user: 'dbo92785265@%' to database 'db92785265' at lib/MT/ line 1190."

I figure something must have been done to the database without me knowing and now my username doesn't have all permissions to the database. Could someone update the user so it has all permissions?

Due to security reasons, we only to access the database if the domain is hosted with 1&1, I checked on your domains and your domains seems to be hosted with another company, the onyl advise that I can give you is to point the domain to 1&1 name servers.

[Exchanged a bunch of messages as my domain was switching from dreamhost to 1&1. I thought it had gone through, but it hadn't, blah blah. At some point it went through. Let the fun continue!]

Message 2:

Could you check the mysql database and grant the user all permissions? Please let me know if/when you can do this (as I've come > to the conclusion that the control panel doesn't let me do this).

Yo9u may clic phpMyAdmin in the MySQL Administration of your 1&1 Control Panel.

Message 3:

I don't see where in phpMyAdmin I can edit the user's permissions. Could you tell me how to do this in phpMyAdmin or some other way to do it?

You may find phpMyAdmin button in Administration tab -> MySQL Administration.

Message 4:

I wasn't asking where phpmyadmin is located, but where INSIDE phpmyadmin can I set user permissions? I don't see it. My assumption is that this is something 1and1 has to do. My permissions were changed by 1and1 (not me, at least) last Friday, preventing me from accessing my database

When you can launch phpMyAdmin then that means you can connect to the dataabse because phpMyAdmin is set to open the database.

Message 5:

Although I can access the database through phpMyAdmin, the user doesn't actually have all privileges. If it did, I wouldn't have had problems using movable type. On Friday afternoon, movable type stopped working for me, despite that I didn't do anything to the databases or alter anything in phpmyadmin. The error I got from movable type (which worked for years up until Friday) is that the database user doesn't have access to the database. I didn't change any information; it just stopped working. Other people have had the same problem because the user didn't have all privileges. I'm not asking how to access my database, but how to grant the user all privileges, which I don't see how to do through phpmyadmin.

The reason why you can't connect to the database anymore is that the maximum limit on the size of 100 Mb has been reached. You may check it in MySQL Administration on the Storage Space box.

Message 6:

I cleared up space in my database so that its way below 100 MB now. Movable Type still can't access the database. Do you know exactly how to grant all privileges to the user?

Movable Type will be accessible on Linux, if you cant access the Movable type, according to experience that there might be something wrong on the script or the database itself.


That was enough to endure, right? I'm not the one at fault, right? Okay. I don't think 1and1 knows how to train their support team. If they don't know how to help me, then 1and1 doesn't require them to know.

On top of all those lovely messages, I got this gem:

Thank you again for choosing 1&1 web services. We are writing to follow up on your recent contact with our technical support department. As 1&1 is constantly striving to improve service performance and provide greater value to our customers, we ask that you please take a moment to follow the link below and answer a few survey questions.


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Please tell me you're kidding. Please? PLEEEEEEEAASE?

Moral of the story: don't use 1and1 as a host. I'll admit that I use them for domain names. Can they fuck that up?

You're probably bored right now. Um. Err...[looks around for a photo to entertain you with]...

cuppy cakes!
cuppy cakes

Ahhh, Sugar Sweet Sunshine, you fill my heart with sugary love! My heart! My...aaack [clutches chest] gfflrttpt [spasms] eeughuhpop [twitches]

Nah, I'm okay.

On a random note, The Food Pornographer made an interesting post that delves into her singer-songwriter guitar-playing past. I have no interesting past to speak of, BUT SOMEDAY...maaaybe.

Another thing, more food related: The Food Section reviews the selection of chocolate chip cookies sold at the Union Square Greenmarket. Damn, I wanted to do that! It would've given me an excuse to eat all the chocolate chip cookies! Not that I really need an excuse.

I should have something more food related/review filled later, but if not I'll be out from Saturday to Sunday away from my laptop. Frightening? Perhaps. I can't last much longer than that.


Heather / August 19, 2006 12:16 AM

Ahman, second comment. Ohwell the first one was kinda short anyway.
Gawd why must they always create a rainbow of heavenly sugar?
Speaking of sugar I had boatload today in the form of spice-cookies. Then attempted to make a cheesecake that in the end threw up on me twice.

p.s. I took a pic for your enjoyment a.k.a laughter.

Ivan / August 19, 2006 1:57 PM

That's horrible support. Looks like they should have the Customer Service Manual online so that they can just cut & paste the responses.

Thank goodness you've moved away.

ParisBreakfasts / August 20, 2006 9:04 AM

1. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Do YOUR own version of USM Choco cookies! It will be WAY BETTA! And better pictures too.
2. I do not like this so-called host of yours-I don't think they're very fact do you know anyone who can put them in the hospital? 'cos that's where they belong IMO
I struggled with typpad for FIVE F---in' weeks and went to Blogger and was up in 2 hours! More $$ and more bells etc does not mean better service.These "Hosts" make you tear yr hair out and then while yr shedding like cathair others go cop YOUR stories...Grrrrr
I'm pissed for you :(

roboppy / August 21, 2006 2:16 AM

Garrett: The eating of which leads to sugar coooomaaa...s...

Heather: #2! So close to #1!

Spice cookies sound awesome. Puking cheesecake sounds less awesome.

Ivan: Now if only it were so easy to move my family. Or to switch em. HA HA HA! I KID! I think.

PB: 1) Oh god, I'd have to eat SO MANY COOKIES! The idea frightens me. And excites me. Wait. (scratches chin)

2) They belong in a special hospital to help incompetent people. [sigh]

Typepad is that annoying? Five weeks is way too long. You should exposee their blah-ness. Blogger is more user friendly...less things to explode on you at least, hehe.

Jessica "Su Good Eats" / August 21, 2006 9:50 PM

I signed up for a free trial of 1&1, and it was so hard to use. I'd rather pay for a host than use 1&1 for free! I use Dreamhost, which is very reliable. It hosts unlimited domain names, unlimited databases, 20 GB space, and 1 TB of monthly bandwidth. You could host a good 10 sites with one account! Also, you can have one free domain name registration per year. $7.95/month (if you prepay for two years) or $9.95/month (if you prepay for one year). If you ever decide to go with them, please sign up through the link above, so I can get a referral fee too. :-)

Something random from the archives