November 4, 2005

solitary chocolate tasting

At around 9 PM, I passed out on my bed while reading a chapter in You Eat What You Are about Korean food. 30 minutes later, an inkling of brain activity stirred (as drool seeped out of my mouth ...yes, folks, I have a propensity towards drooling!) and my wobbly legs directed me towards...

KITCHEN. BASKET. WITH APPLES. EAT!

Was I hungry? God no! After the apple, I ate 25 grams of a Ritter Sport bar I bought today.

OKAY, WHAT IS GOING ON? Make it stop make it stop make it stop [scarfs down chocolate] okay this isn't working my life is spiraling into a deep dark hole of sugar and cocoa butter and soy lecithin ("a natural emulsifier"!).

I bought chocolate
I bought chocolate

I'll admit, buying all this chocolate (I usually just buy one bar at a time) is not something I'd file under "achievements displaying large amounts of intelligence" (not that I can think of anything that would fit into that category). I had just gone to the market in Union Square, where I ate a sweet potato pecan muffin for lunch and procured Jonagold apples and a bunch of leeks, when I decided to veer towards the Garden of Eden, a gourmet supermarket with perhaps the most varied chocolate selection I've ever seen.

While some people plan to do useful things, I tend to go into the opposite direction. "How un-useful can I be? How much of a burden can I place on this fragile Earth? What havoc can I wreak?" So. I'd like to try as many brands of chocolate as I can (aka, "Operation: Pants Won't Fit Anymore") because...wait, I don't need a reason!

Some people like coffee. Some people like booze. Some people like weed. I like chocolate, and I daresay I'm not addicted to it. I certainly don't need it to function, I just...you know, like to eat it. Surely it's less costly than some kinds of coffee, and booze, and weed, but with a higher enjoyment factor (because the other things would make me want to retch). I don't eat chocolate every day, but when I do it's usually around 100 grams.

Yes, I'm aware of the caloric implications of such an amount. If I had enough chocolate loving friends whom I could get together with on a regular basis and who wouldn't mind contributing to my cause (as in, giving me hard, cold cash), I'd love to hold chocolate tastings. $5 will get you a high quality chocolate bar, or a couple of medium quality ones. Then we can all sit around and examine the chocolate bars, akin to a wine tasting, and...get soooo fat!

Wait. Nix the last bit. A lack of people to help distribute the calories (I have friends who can't eat 100 grams of chocolate in a day; what's that about? Such discipline!) hasn't changed my idea very much, hence I shall plod on and continue my solitary hedonistic quest.

Um. Back to chocolate! I tried all three of them (what, you think I have willpower?); here's my rundown:

Caffarel milk chocolate
Caffarel milk chocolate

My tastebuds declared Caffarel as the champion in this "Battle of the Chocolates" (which I just realized pitted Italian against German against American chocolate, whoa). Where to from here? MORE CAFFAREL! Obviously.

When I told my mum that I bought all this chocolate, she reminded me that the Chocolate Show is next week. Yeah...I knew that. So? The Chocolate Show is destined to put me in a chocolate coma, which is a little unsettling, but certainly you've gorged on a favorite food only to conclude that "This floaty feeling in my skull and numbing pain in my stomach is totally worth it."

If you're wondering, I did eat something that nutritionists wouldn't completely shun. I call it...

dinner!

"All this stuff in my kitchen which I chopped up and sauteed before not-so-artfully slopping onto a plate." The name could use some editing, but that's basically it. And I didn't actually put everything in my kitchen in this dish, as I forgot about the smoked fish in my fridge. This mixture contains potato, onions, shallots, leeks, and egg (with various seasonings). Your mouth is watering, I can FEEL IT...no wait, that's just confused silence.

What will tomorrow's mealtimes bring? I'm afraid to find out.

Posted by roboppy at 11:05 PM

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Comments (8)

I've skimmed through your entries and find your writing style uproariously funny and in harmony with my own ways of thinking. I just wanted to say so before I dove back in for a nice swim in your thoughts. I will definitely keep you in my favourite blogs to check list.

Posted by: Nerissa at November 5, 2005 11:37 AM [#]

Actually, that plate of food does look quite nice.

Oh, btw, according to neurologists, eating chocolate stimulates the same pleasure centers in the brain that are stimulated by sex.. ;)

Posted by: Wei at November 5, 2005 11:22 PM [#]

We sold the Latte & Menta candies made by Caffarel at the Lindt chocolate store I recently quite working at. They were sooo yummy--kind of like minty Werther's candies. Mmm! :)

And a gift shop recently opened up in the mall where I work that sells Ritter Sport bars. I'm thinking of trying the marzipan one. Yum, marzipan!

Posted by: Melody at November 6, 2005 1:47 AM [#]

I really love to eat chocolate, but you beat my in chocolate bar consumption by far! :)

Posted by: Kathy at November 6, 2005 3:00 PM [#]

heheh i find your good cop bad cop you play on yourself so funny. your dinner sounds very much like mine when i need to get rid of tons of veggies!

Posted by: saffron at November 6, 2005 3:20 PM [#]

Great blog!

And I actually found that plate of food quite appealing. It looks like one of this great omelette I had in Montreal, stuffed with all kinds of vegetables and good stuff :)

Posted by: E. at November 6, 2005 8:43 PM [#]

OMG. A Chocolate Show? You must go! And take photos! And grab the samples! =)

Posted by: AugustusGloop at November 6, 2005 10:41 PM [#]

Never heard of Caffarel! Guess I need to find some!

Posted by: Lisasd at November 8, 2005 4:30 PM [#]

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» 09/21/11: Some of My Fave Spots in NYC to Bring Out-of-towners

» 09/15/11: Turning 26, or Surprise Birthday Party, The Third

» 09/11/11: Bergen, Day 6: Norwegian Food Explosion at Bryggen Tracteursted

» 08/28/11: Bergen, Day 5: Roast Pork Ribs at the Sandvik Summer House

» 08/09/11: January in a Gigantic Nutshell: Roberta's, Big Wong King, Best Pizza, Papaye, Bo Ky, The Commodore, and J.G. Melon

» 07/22/11: Real Cheap Eats NYC is Here!

» 07/17/11: Bergen, Day 4: Buns, Lamb Ribs, and Meeting the Parents

» 07/05/11: Fu Run's Muslim Lamb Chops and Candied Taro: Some of the Best Meat and Dessert Ever

» 07/05/11: All My 'Snapshots from Sweden' Posts Are Done, Hooray!

» 06/19/11: Back from Sweden; Here's My Itinerary!

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