web junk Archives

July 27, 2003

Is this thing working?

1, 2, 3...


I thought something would explode. So far, this seems to be working alright. (However, most of the links on the left don't work right now. I didn't bother with them because I was completely immersed in the task of making this stupid thing work.) The template tags in Movable Type make me want to...not use Movable Type. But I used it anyhoo. Otherwise you may not get to see this BEAUTIFUL display of webdesign I lay before you!

...sarcasm, yes. I'm not colorblind, so the muticolored sunshine palette I based this page on was done on purpose. BWAHAHA! I mean, I designed this page before deciding that the easiest way to implement a blog would be to stick an unsightly iframe in the middle, and at that time, it looked somewhat acceptable. Kind of like if you drop a piece of food on the floor but pick it up a second later, dust it off, and deem it still safe for human consumption. It would have been better if you didn't drop it on a germ-infested floor in the first place, but hey, what can you do about gravity? Maybe I would be better off if I were colorblind...

So what happened to this site? Well, it went on a little vacation for a while website heaven. Whatever happened to the Web Hosting Factory, I have no idea, but I hope lightning strikes it and fries its organs nice 'n crispy. So I've moved to EHost Pros and so far it's the most amazing thing in the world. It's kind of like that time I won the $100,000 prize in a fly-fishing contest, except I didn't win anything and I don't fish, so...this is in a league of its own. Because of the mind-boggling features that come with a reseller package, I developed the desire to scoop up domain names by the truckload (or scoopload) and take over the world. That plan didn't work, so I just bought two new domain names; and For less than $10 a year, you can own a name! Not just a name, a name-dot-something!

Yup, I'm easily gratified by buying domain names. And the "dot-something" is, in my case, always ".net," which gets boring after a while. But that lovely ".nu" costs a bundle that I'd rather spend on something else, like underwear.

...are you still reading this? Holy crap, you are! Hm. I guess I will continue blabbing on.

So Robyn, what have you been up to lately? Poking mud with sticks?

Maybe I have, maybe I haven't. Okay, I haven't. I've been writing in my livejournal as a way to cope with being blog-less, but not I am un-blog-less, which makes I'm BLOG! Other things I've been doing are getting loads of junk for college, wondering how to sell some poofies, ridding myself of mucoid plaque, and working on other websites (as you can see, I haven't gotten very far). Today actually ended the question of banishing my mucoid plaue to septic tank hell, woohoo! I wasn't supposed to eat any solid food today (was just supposed to drink juice and take my herbal tablets and junk four times a day) but I cheated and took my tablets and junk three times while eating a substantial amount of food. It wasn't like I was even hungry, but that feeling of eating is just so gratifying. And that's the weird thing about this past week of not really eating anything; I didn't feel hungry. I felt the same as I would have on a regular day, except I had a few more hours that I would have spent eating to do something else. Like poking mud with sticks!

You know what fruit is really good? Figs. FIGS! I didn't even like them before, but I've been eating a lot of them lately because my mum really likes them. And now I do too, mmm. They're not very sweet, but when you bite into one, it just tastes fresh. I don't get that feeling a lot from other fruits...I mainly get it from other vegetables, like some fresh greens or peas. If you've never had fresh figs before, try em!

July 30, 2003

Faster and Better?

This morning my house had a cable modem installed thus upgrading my household's Internet surfing ability up a notch from "abysmal" to

Well, I haven't figured it out yet. It's fast, yes. It could be faster, but heck, I've been using a 56k (at best) modem for my entire life. It could only be faster if my computer weren't on a wireless connection. Anyway, stuff just magically appears in a instant instead of me drumming my fingers and pulling out my hair as that little loading bar in the bottom right corner of IE taunts me...getting longer..and longer...and sometimes (I swear) getting shorter and dancing around until the whole bar has been filled and I arrive at a website called "The page cannot be displayed."

Testing out this lovely thing called a cable modem hasn't made me pull out my hair yet, but at a few points I would have liked to chuck my computer out the window. For some reason the connection kept stopping and going as the little green bars in the bottom right hand side of my monitor flickered between saying "Robyn, you have the pow-ah!!" and "Robyn, I disconnected you because you suck. Go away" For the time being, things are going semi-smoothly besides that I can't change between any of my programs with ease (I have to minimized everything for some reason). Now everything in my toolbar is That can't be good.

And just so you know, I do manage to screw up most mechanical things. So it's great that I just got a new iPod, eh? I wonder how long it will last. I didn't really ask for it, but I can't say I don't mind having one. It costed about $314, a very good price for what to me is a 15 GB portable drive with "extras" like an MP3 player and mindless games like Solitaire and another one where you shoot down parachuters. (Why you have to shoot the parachuters, I don't know. They could just have easily made it a game where you had to shoot flying muffins or something.) I'm not sure how my brother found it for so cheap (relatively) but I think he got it through I decided to pay $150 because I really can't afford to pay for all of it, but I shouldn't be a freeloader either, right? I already got a new camera and thought that was a lot, so I decided to make it my birthday present. Supposedly I'm entitled to a graudation present as well, but really, what kind of accomplishment is graduating high school? I mean, of course I was going to graduate, so I don't see how I deserve anything besides the freedom of getting to leave high school.

Crap, my connection is sucking. Even though it keeps stopping, it's still faster than before. I downloaded 10 megs in less than 2 minutes, I think. Yet I already find myself becomming inpaient...that can't be good. Oh, my FTP program crashed, that's nice. It's been doing that ever since I started using the cable modem and right now I'm attemping to upload TONS of website stuff. All of takes up nearly 400 megs and all of takes up nearly 300. It's because I decided to put my Mum site at and the mp3s for that amount of 200-something. I'm also adding a bunch of music videos to my Beck site, which take up a load of space. I'm sure I'll have a heart attack when I see how much bandwidth is taken up after I finished uploading everything, but for now I'll pretend it doesn't matter.

I got a nice package today called NEW MAGNET ALBUM IT'S REALLY GOOD (actually it's called "On Your Side" but you know, same diff). I got the Japanese import because of the three extra tracks, which is more like one new song and two other previously released songs...except the previously released songs are slightly different than the ones that were...previously released. It's such a slight difference that I don't even see why there is a difference. I got a Libido single yesterday and there's an album track on it that is also just slightly different from the one on the album...but still, it makes the song almost completely different. But not. ...anyway. I gotta type up the new lyrics to put on my website. I was delighted to see that my name actually is in the liner notes. Completely mind boggling, but cool all the same. Home of Magnet just put up a links page and my site isn't on it though. :) Well, my site isn't done yet, so I guess that's alright.

I WON! Woohoo! I was refreshing like nuts. I finally get a keyboard, wee! I also wanted this since it's smaller, but $50 was a bit much for me.

For the past two days I've been learning how to crochet while listening to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I bought this crochet kit geared towards kids that was supposed to end up being a hat. I figured if I could do anything, then it would have to be a kid's kit, and if I couldn't do it, I would forever be utterly hopeless and unable to hone in on some yet-to-be-discovered talent of crocheting. Anyway, I ended up with a hat that looked like it regurgitated on itself. It made no sense, but i somehow managed to make some kind of flipped-out circular thingy. Erm. Yeah. So I took it apart, bought a new book from Kinokuniya and make a new hat-ish thing. It's not done yet but it's coming out a hell of a lot better than what I made yesterday, all with the help of a book that isn't even in English. Japanese books are amazing, I would help if I could read them, but the illustrated directions are very good on their own. I also bought a magazine about interior decorating for teeny-boppers or something, as it was filled with photos of Japanese teenage girls' rooms, which were many times stuffed with Winne the Pooh memorabilia. Why, I don't know, but I swear it was some kind of running theme. The magazine comes with lots of ideas of how to organize junk and how to display all that wonderous Winnie the Pooh stuff you bought in a drunken haze wandering the streets of Fantasyland, or where it is that Winnie the Pooh (I wrote "Poog" first...WINNIE THE POOG!) comes from. The 100 Acre Wood?

Another notable thing going on in my life is that I've been eating a lot. Today has been the second day of "feeding" after my cleanse and I've already gained back a pound, which isn't a bad thing. I have a set point of pounds that I would not like to go over, and it's pretty reasonable. Anyway, yesterday I ate three bananas (two of which were frozen) which wasn't a good idea (in addition to all the OTHER stuff I ate). I cut down a little more today but I did end up buying some yellowtail sashmi from's so good! And it was only around 3 ounces, so I don't think it's anything to be afraid of. Yellowtail seems to be my favorite sashimi as of now.

So far I've had three orders from my poofy shop...not too bad! I was hoping for more, but anything's good really. The website itself is getting a lot of hits, yet hardly anyone leaves comments on my comics, signs the guestbook, or buys anything. Who are these people?and Better?

August 13, 2003

Thom Yorke Watched Me Sleep

I had the strangest dream last night, and that's saying a lot because I forget my dreams 99.99% of the time. Or more. I know I must dream every night, but I tend to only remember them if they involve a musician I like. And that doesn't happen much. The last dream I remember remembering (...) is one where I was at an Even Johansen concert that was outdoors, except the performance took place inside a small building and the audience had to look through a huge glass window down into the room.

So, what happened in this dream that I actually remembered? Thom Yorke was watching me sleep. At least I think that's what was happening. Except I was awake...wait, that doesn't make sense. Alright, I remember being wrapped in a blanket in a room that looked like my brother's. And I was on...the floor. Jeez, dreams really aren't supposed to make sense, are they? And now that I think about it, it's kind of creepy to have someone watch you while you sleep. But now I don't think I was actually sleepy, I was just lying on the floor. I have absolutely no idea where Thom came from, but he was sitting somewhere near me?

...okay, now I am just making myself out to be really weird. I remember waking up and thinking I wanted to go back into dreamland, so it must have been a happy dream. Really, I remember being mad for coming to consciousness. I wanted to go back to sleep so I could dream about being asleep, or half-asleep? I ought to write things down as soon as I wake up or I forget everything. Maybe I actually dreamt about frogs! WHO KNOWS?

The sudden Thom-ness may be attributed to the latest issue of Blender. I really like Blender, even though I'm not sure if I should. But lookie, it's got Thom! And he looks like a nutter! But that actually mean he's happy! Uh!

Okay, I ought to listen to some Radiohead (listening to the latest Grandaddy album right now...tis good).

Sooo what has been going on lately? I've forgotten...that's a bad thing, isn't it? Today I went shopping for some more college stuff. (My god, college is coming up way too fast. I mean, this cannot be! My brain is still stupid and mushy and feels like peeeas, it's not ready for whatever rigorous courseload Vassar is going to dump on me! Dumpy dump dumperooniandadisdueffizzle.) I got four 1/2" binders, a gluestick, a small ruler, a pack of black ballpoint pens, 500 notecards (they only came in packs of 500 because you know, if you need one card, you'll eventually need another 499...or something), a 20 sheet pack of photo paper, some college ruled loose leaf paper and MUSHY PEA BRAAAINS! No wait, I had those already. So anyhoo, Staples is a good place. They've got loads of pens and pencils and junk. I don't know why I'd need a pack of 12 mechanical pencils though; I'm only planning to bring two. Figuring I don't lose anything, I should be fine.

I also went to Radioshack to get a new cell phone. I had no idea what kind of cell phone I'd get or what carrier I'd even get before I went there, but I ended up with this one. I think it's nice, not that I need a color display, but I did want one that had a cover for the buttons. We got the most basic plan since I just about never use the phone (really, the most I use it is when I go to NY to call my mum so she knows I haven't fallen into a sewer and rotted as rats picked at my innards) and I don't predict downloading games and reading e-mails on the phone. I also got a cordless phone for the dorm room so I can call around the school, which I'm sure will happen so...very...much? Oh well, better than not having one at all!

Next to the Radioshack there was a dollar store, so my mum and I decided to take a lookie. I've been to dollar stores quite a few times in my life, but I don't think my mum ever has just because she doesn't think you could find anything useful in there. But eventually, she found out that a dollar store is a treasure trove of slave labor items that only cost ONE DOLLAR! "How much does this cost? Only a dollar?" Yes, that's why it's called...a dollar store! Sometimes I am amazed myself. They were selling doilies that were obviously hand crocheted and must have taken a pretty long time to make. That's kind of scary. I mean, they were really well done too. (Speaking of crocheting, I make this bear the other day and I don't know about you, but ...I don't think it looks like a bear. Its arms and legs are so bulbous. Maybe sewing on facial features would help.) My mum picked up a few items and I ended up buying a six-pack of 8-crayon boxes. I tested them out to see what a dollar bought me and they seemed to work alright.

I made something pretty random today: tiny felt poofy! Why? Because this girl suggested it to me! She likes miniature things and the tiny poofy I made is about 1.5 inches tall. Lookie, it fits in a bottle cap. And it is easily attack by computer peripherals. Poor thing. :( But it's alright now! Even though it didn't take a long time to make, I don't think I'd want to make any more tiny poofies...cutting them out is kind of random, and then sewing them up is kind of...random. I was lucky to end up with something even remotely shaped like Poofy!

Stephanie does amazing stuff. She took my scary driver's license photo into a new license where I have rainbow hair resembling a topographic map! I live in Poofyville! YAAY! Thanks Stephanie!

I gotta make another Poofy because I am trading two small ones for a big lost monster! THEY ARE SO CUTE! AHHH! Keli is making one based on what other monsters I like, and I'm making her a black poofy (aka, Yfoop) and giving her an argyle one. Aaaand speaking of Poofies, I made three sales this week! Not all Poofies, but two of em Poofies. The biggest seller is the animal thoughts buttons, which makes me wonder if I should make another set. I only have one idea for a button though, which would be a snail with a sign next to him saying "SALT SPILL: 2 INCHES" and the snail is thinking something along the line of "Crap." Okay, not the best idea, but it's all I have right now. And snails are easy to draw. I sold out of the animal buttons (not that hard considering I only made five packs) so I'll have to make some more. When I go to college my mum said she'll ship out stuff for me, how nice!

I need some opinions...or at least one. This is what I've got so far for It didn't take very long, but ...I don't know. I'm going to use it whether or not people like it, now that I think about it. I was thinking of useing Server Side Includes but it ended up being more of a pain, although in the long run it could make things easier. Ack, I'm only just starting to get the hang of CSS and assigning a class to different "div" thingies, so anything more advanced will just have to wait.

October 27, 2003

The Ground is Mushy

Today is a craptastic day, weather wise. I guess it could be worse if it were colder, but it still sucked. It was really cold last week, but now it's in the 60s and today it was just gloomy and rainy and sucky. The path to the college center isn't level so there are huge-ass puddles everywhere. I try to jump over them.

But tomorrow is supposed to be better. SUPPOSED to. I hope the weather forecase is correct. It is...sometimes!

I'm eating way too many mulberries. (shakes bag of mulberries)...yeah, there was definitely a lot more than this yesterday. I officially gained 2 pounds last week, which isn't much to freak out about. Of course, it's still not good. :|

I finished the Travis site complete with stinky photos and video! Check it OUT! Also, did anyone ever notice the error in the second panel?

...okay, I just closed my door. It was open because Kathryn just went across the hall, and I wouldn't have closed it unless the noise was really bothering me. And it was. Oh well, hope that doesn't seem too unfriendly.

Anyway, there isn't much to talk about, like usual. Today I just had one class, Japanese, and it went okay besides the fact that I was really confused. Damn. At my Japanese drill session today we actually did some fun stuff (this doesn't happen often, haha). The sad thing is that there were only three students present, which is the lowest attendence I've seen yet. I think some people stopped coming because they were intimidated by our driller, and I was too in the beginning, but now I think she's really nice. She's a senior from Japan (I don't know how long she's been living in the US) and today we did an activity where we'd say a character and she would tell us an interesting word starting with that character with some background information about it. Like when someone said "he" she told us the word "hentai" and that there are lots of perverts in Japan. If you're on a bus or a train and you're wearing a short shirt, guys will try to touch you, apparently. I'll...keep that in mind when I go to Japan. For "mu" she told us about the Moomin story, which is actually a Swedish story but it's really popular in Japan. I read a few books before and they're really cute. It doesn't seem to be a big thing in the US though. :(

(i'm still eating mulberries! someone make me stop!)

Oh, vote for my threadless design, if you like it:

My Submission

And if you don't like it, don't vote. :)

I bought some CDs at CD World on Saturday because they were having a 20% off sale. A prime time to buy the Bjork Live box set! I got it for around $37, so I'm happy, and it's a great set. The Family Tree set was not as great. :| I also got B.R.M.C. and Songs for Dustmites. Much music looove.

I brought my Casio SK-1 and my Groovebox to school, but I forgot to bring my instruction book and the cables I need to record into my computer with me. So! They're kind of useless. I tried using the Groovebox but apparently I've forgotten how to play it. Crap.

(still eating mulberries)

I got this Tamagotchi backpack in the mail today. It's really cute and the original price was 3,900 yen, so I'm happy. But I have no idea how to use it. This is where I figure I'm really, REALLY stupid. I took a bunch of photos; can anyone help me out?

What's with all these straps?

January 12, 2004

*smashes keyboard*

I like Movable Type, I really do. But when it makes stuff not work, I go into "keyboard smashie" mode, which doesn't really mean anything because I wouldn't dare do anything to physically damage this precious laptop. So I just sit here and get frustrated.

I very easily transferred all my entries from my other site, which was great. For some reason it messed up and gave me this extra blank entry with just an old comment. However, the comment is relevant: this is my free webhosting and so far it's working fine! The only "catch" (which isn't really a catch) is that you can't change the nameservers on any domain names registered on 1&1. It's the cheapest registration I've ever seen, so I wanted to check that out. I currently use Hostway to manage 5 domain names.

Can anyone tell me if the scrollbar in this frame is green? It's SUPPOSED to be! I can't figure out for the life of me why it wouldn't be green, but for me it's the sucky Windows XP scroll bar. Go away, you don't fit in with my color scheme! :(

I've been downloading loads of random LOTR cast video clips from here. Hobbity goodness, mmyes! I am really going to start reading The Fellowship of the Ring. Really. Or I'll just crack it open and read a few words. Like the table of contents... ...nono, I REALLY must read this book. It's just that the last time I read a book of similar length, it was in 9th grade for an English project. I procrastinated and had to read half of the book in one weekend. Bad idea. Do not do this. Ever.

I'm starting to get a little frightened by the people who are REALLY obsessed with LOTR cast members. One of the funniest LJ communities is LOTR Boys Daily, in which people are supposed to post hot photos of the guys about a bagillion times a day. Some of these photos are just really funny. I could spend a bit of time looking through them...MWAHAHAHA!

Oo, TTT won for Best Dramatic Movie at the People's Choice Awards. I didn't know there even was a People's Choice Awards. Billy was the only one there to accept...SO HAPPY! :)

Crap, I'm tired. Time to sleep!

January 28, 2004

Everything Smells Like Oranges

Everything smells like oranges because I keep eating oranges and getting orange pee on everything. It's all over my hands...OH GOD WHY?

So I've been eating! Always a good thing. I over-ate at home this past weekend so I've been cutting down at school, although not really. I was too lazy and miserable to buy food on Monday, so yesterday I pretty much ate everything (everything being oranges, apples, and pears). Sandy can attest to the fact that I kept eating despite saying, "Okay, I'll stop eating." 12 pieces of fruit later (5 oranges, 5 apples, 2 pears), I ended up losing weight anyway. So there's one way to lose weight and stuff yourself silly. I'm sure that I eat too fast because my stomach region felt a bit odd while I was eating today (actually, "eating" isn't the right word...maybe "inhaling" would work), so I'm probably gain weight tomorrow. But hey! It's fruit! And despite it all being just fruit!, I still get gas. DIGESTIVE SYSTEM = SUCKWAD.

I feel a bit better since my last entry (heck, i feel better since yesterday), but I really think I have the opposite of the Midas touch. Like the anti-Midas touch. Yes. Everything I touch turns into crap. Or if I try to make something, it turns into crap. I really don't like any of the websites I've made. I know they're not the worst pieces of crap on earth (websites that sucks is a great place to visit; this is truly god-awful), but they're not very good, by my standards. In a way I have really low standards so I don't disappoint myself too much, but in other ways my standards are unattainable. There is NO way I will ever make a website that I really, really like. They'll either be so bad that I have to change the layout every once in a while or stay there and make me feel like my website is a terrible burden to the world, including those people without the ability of sight, which is pretty bad. Their other senses are probably heightened...they can SMELL my website. Smells like sweaty socks.

I am strange. I'm sorry. By the way, a whale exploded. That's what I get for leaving Taiwan; they start exploding whales left and right!

For some other random news, ROTK got 11 Oscar nominations (I don't know why I'm linking to the BBC about Oscar noms...but I am)! And you know it's going to win best picture and director, because if it doesn't people will probably riot in the streets and set buildings on fire and eat babies and, you know, typical angry-people things.

[random digression: I'm going to change into my pjs, because they're more comfortable, which makes me wonder why I don't just wear pjs all day long.]

So yeah, I still suck, but I can face that. I CAN! And I think I'll try to go into "food studies" rather than be a nutritionist/dietician. I guess food studies is for people who are interested in food but not very science-oriented. The thing is, all throughout high school the only classes I took advanced levels in were math and science. But I still suck at them. It's just one of those funny Robyn things. So laugh! Ha ha! Oh, all that laughing is making my tummy ache. Or maybe it was that pear I ate. Probably a mixture of the two.

Graphic designers, I need your help. I spent a few hours fiddling around while "working" (occupation: professional fiddling in the media cloisters to make a poster for an upcoming lecture. And this is all I got (here is another possiblity; I do love photoshop and how easy it makes it to change hues). Sorry it looks like crap, but I had to stare at it for about 3 hours in various stages (it looked so much better in my head, but I guess this is why real designers probably draw stuff out first instead of relying on random firing between neurons). Anyway, this is a lot worse that posters I've seen around campus and I don't wanna eff-up my first project (I don't swear...well, kind of), so any suggestions would be great. Like "hit ctrl+a and then del" would be okay. Maybe. My main problem is with the title of the lecture; I didn't know how to make it stand out. But the shadowing doesn't fit in very well with the other type, which isn't shadowed. And there are only so many colors I can use. And and and. ...Damn, I still have gas.

[Don't you wish I went back to being all depressed and stupid? How do you deal with me talking about my digestion?]

I need to get the new Air album soon. Maybe this weekend? You can see their new music video on their site, and since it's got some porn, it's probably the only place you'll be able to see it. Good song.

My music class is getting a bit more interesting. My teacher still seems a bit odd, but that's okay. At least he knows what he's talking about. I'm surprised I was even able to grasp music theory when I was little. I still can't immediately recognize all the notes (mainly when they're really high or low), but I'm getting there.

I had my first bio lab yesterday and it went okay. It wasn't actually four hours long, for one thing. GOOD. The lab was to test six strains of white clover plants and test them to see if they are cyanogenic or not. Which reminds me, I have to actually figure out which plants were cyanogenic. Mm, cyanide. I used to like the faint taste of cyanide in almonds, but then I had some bad experiences with almonds that had too much cyanide. Those tasted beyond disgusting. *shudders*

Oh, I can't believe I didn't say this yet: thank you ALL for your great comments and what-not. Even if you didn't leave a comment, you are cool anyway. Because you're reading this. Actually, that probably makes you less cool, but...I still luv yous. Yup. Even if I don't have any good friends here that I can be totally comfortable around, that's okay. ...I might change my mind about that later.

Actually, I've realized that I'm really, really strange. Why can't I be more personable? I swear that I'm not THAT sucktastic, but when I speak to people that I don't know well (and some that I do), I sound...well, I think I may sound uninterested or spacey or "meh". I don't like how to change this, so I suppose it's just the way I am. It's not like I can go, "HEY AHH HOOHA!" because then people would think I'm psychotic, and I guess that's worse than seeming flat and tired.

Wow, I haven't been doing homework. I really should be doing that. Hohum.

And now...I must pee. I'll be home in two days, so that's something to look forward to.

UPDATE: Here's a newer version of the poster. Better?

February 4, 2004

What Is It Like to Have a Laser Printer?

I'm printing out bits of the Movable Type instruction manual and the template tags alone takes up 26 pages. Doh. The least I can do is print on both sides of the paper. I'm not going to memorize all these tags anyway...

Okay, WHY am I doing this? I'm going to Movable Type-uh-muhfy the new Media Cloisters website (not sure when it'll come into fruition) because apparently no one else in the school can do it. Or wants to. Actually, more of the latter...well, of course no one wants to, it's a pain in the butt! But I would have killed myself if I stuck with the default templates (I'm going to work on the Poofy Project, I swear). Actually, I know I'm not the only person that can work with MT tags because the WVKR site uses MT. So even though Ken (head media cloisters guy) says I'm not giving myself enough credit, he's just giving me more than I deserve. I swear, SWEAR, that I do not know much about MT. Honestly. So now I'll just be a big disappointment. This blog shows the extent of my ability to use MT tags, and if I tried harder I could have done much better.

Well, I just finished printing half of the tags. Now it's time to print on the other sides. WEE.

I think I am a psychological anomaly. While my psychology class is interesting (I should get more into that later), by reading the textbook I'll probably find out how many problems I have. I've gotten to the section about "operant conditioning phenomena" (when you don't know what the title of a section means, that's probably not a good sign, eh?), specifically a bit about "learned helplessness." I am constantly in a state of learned helplessness even if nothing bad happens. Can someone explain this to me? I have this generic idea that everything I do (I wrote "does" first and it took me a while to realize how wrong that brain is officially mush) is crap and it will never really be that good. So I'm just kind of unhappy with everything. It's not good to think everything you do is the epitome of God's creations, but the extreme opposite isn't good either. ...But I do think it's better to be highly negative than in your own little world where everything you make is the best.

It still bothers me though. Oh well, maybe I'll find some other problem in my psych book that I have. OH yes, my last psych was rather amusing. My teacher was talking about rats who would experience some dimension of pleasure that no one else really knows by pushing a bar that would zap some part of their brains and they would just keep pushing the bar until they were too tired to carry on. Even if they had to endure pain to push the bar, they'd do it, which sounds kind of sad. But maybe not. It was just funny how he explained it and said they don't do those kinds of experiences on humans, but he wouldn't mind being a guinea pig (well, a rat in this case, but you know what I mean).

Speaking of guinea pigs, I'm going to be one tomorrow. All psych students are required to take part in some kind of experiement, so I picked one that sounded really interesting and is probably one of the longest and more physically involved ones. I especially liked this excerpt from the e-mail confirmation I received: It is much easier to get good electrical signals from the brain if there isn't much oil on the scalp. That interferes with the recording electrodes. If you can, please wash your hair, any time before you come to Blodgett. I was surprised that not that many people signed up (it seems like only three people are doing it?) but I'd be very interested to see my brain waves. It would put an end to the debate of whether or not I have a brain, for one thing. Mwahaha.

Music class is becoming pretty confusing. We're learning about beat units and stuff...actually, that's not the hard part, but making sure you write the notes correctly so...actually, nevermind. I don't even know what I'm talking about. Which is why I should do my homework. I started doing it last night, but it was confusing the hell out of me. I do enjoy music class though because it doesn't actually feel 75 minutes long and I think it's interesting. I just don't think I could ever write or play music for a living.

Today Ken asked me if I was planning to stay in school over the summer to work in the cloisters. I guess if I stay in Vassar, I should do that, and now I feel bad about wanting to leave. I overheard another girl talking about how she wanted to go to NYU, but Vassar (which was her last college choice) gave her more financial aid and the people she spoke to were nicer. I don't know if I'd be better off at NYU, but I might be better off in NYC. Unless I stay in my more spacious dorm room all day instead of actually do stuff. I don't know. At the very least, I know I have real friends in NYC. And it's not that I don't have ANY friends here, but I don't fit in with anyone. I'm not necessarily a round peg surrounded by square holes (or is it the other way around...ah, whatever), but...but but but. I still don't feel very comfortable here and considering it's my second semester, that can't be a good thing. I'm looking at the next two weekends as pure sleep and staying inside my room a lot (and seeing Rufus if I can get tickets, and if I can't, I'll probably find out I have more psychological problems).

By the way, Borders is having a student sale this weekend, so check that out. Not that I can (there is a store in Poughkeepsie, but duh, I have no car). I went there last week and bought some things though. [sigh] I'd buy the new Air CD, at the very least. There are 17 Borders in NJ and I've been to four of them (and I've seen a fifth one). I'm surrounded by them. WHY.

I found out that is a really cheap place for books. The shipping is really cheap too, so I wouldn't even factor that in. There are loads of books I could get, but I better wait on that. At least until I get my first paycheck, which won't be until next week I think.

Crap, is this all I have to say? Not much is going on, obviously. Or I'm too lazy. Actually, I should start doing homework because I haven't done any all day. Oh, random thing, I stepped into a ridiculously gigantic puddle today. You couldn't tell it was a puddle until you stepped in it...hence making it an evil ghost puddle. After my boots got soaked (thankfully they're waterproof!) and I got into Japanese class, Megan came in and told me she stepped into the puddle too. IT'S EVIL, I tell you. There are loads of puddles everywhere because the temperature actually went above the freezing mark. It was in the high 30s earlier today, which I interpreted as being warm. Yes, the 30s are warm, sweltering perhaps.

Ho hum. Hey, I didn't really talk about food yet. LET'S CHANGE THAT! Yesterday I bought 22 pieces of fruit from the ACDC. I'm sure the cashier thinks I'm nuts, but she doesn't ask me about it. Mwahaha. Tomorrow I'll have to buy more to last me throughout the weekend since I'm not going home. ...home. That's a nice place I'd rather be.

February 12, 2004


While I would usually put stupid ranty type things in my livejournal, I'd like to start writing more often in this blog too. Whether that's a good thing or not, I don't know, but maybe I should write more frequently in shorter entries.

Anyway. I suck. That's my rant. Everything's my fault. Yup, I'm back in that state of mind. No matter where I am, whether it's Vassar or some other place, life will suck because I'll make it suck. That's just the kind of person I am!

Well then what's the point of doing anything at all? Why don't I just throw myself in front of an oncoming truck? All my mum keeps reminding me is that college-educated people are just different from non-college educated people and ...well, of COURSE they are, but I guess in most cases it's a bad thing. "Do you want to get an entry-level job and rent a little apartment for the rest of your life?" Well, isn't that what's going to happen anyway? And if life sucks so much, why don't I do the truck-thing, again? If it's possible to do twice?

I probably sound really stupid right now, and I guess I should because I feel stupid. I didn't do any homework today, and now that's its past midnight I guess it means I didn't do any homework yesterday. God knows I could have. I should read my bio textbook, even though I think bio is hopeless. As for Japanese, I don't know what's going on. There are counters for everything apparently, in strange categories, so the counter for a bottle and a tree are the same because they're long, cylindrical things, although if you saw a tree-sized bottle, that might be weird. I can't remember all this stuff, but if I stay in this school I think I'd major in Japanese.

My mum said I should look at schools that offer a major in web design so ...I am. Dakota State University, anyone? Maybe I should, it's only 1% Asian. Average ACT is 22....damn.

If a school's website doesn't work very well or look good, it doesn't really make me want to go there to major in it. Vassar's web site is pretty nice, but then again a website for a univeristy would be much larger. So anyway. Blah. Nevermind.

Oh yeah, I'm having a bunch of problems with food, kind of. Or not. I don't know. I have eating problems I guess. I must treat food differently from most people because nothing I eat is really a stand-alone meal (unless I go to a raw food restaurant) thus I snack a lot. Actually, with the schedule I had today, I couldn't snack that much:

9:30 AM - 10:00 AM: Check bio lab with partner
10:00 AM - 10:20 AM : Go to health food store
11:00 AM - 11:50 AM: Japanese
12:00 PM - 12:30 PM: Meet bio partner and try to do homework and not get anywhere
1:30 PM - 2:45 PM: Music theory class
3:00 PM - 5:00 PM: "work" in media cloisters (can't say I did much)
6:00 PM - 8:00 PM: see Derrick Jensen lecture (it was pretty good)

And in the past FOUR HOURS I've barely done anything besides get mad at the Internet for sucking, buying stuff at Eat Raw, and talk on the phone with my mum for a long time, which was just confusing and made me feel guilty about buying anything (I spent about $60), even though my mum was saying how I SHOULDN'T feel restricted about anything. I don't, but I feel guilty anyway. I feel guilty about everything.

But life could be worse. I guess that's a consolation. Or something.

...yeah, being a snail would be worse. For my bio lab we tested if snails would eat cyanogenic leaves. Answer? No. So they have some kind of sense of what has cyanide in it. Goodie.

Being a snail would suck. It's only slightly worse than being me, I guess.

February 22, 2004

New design

if it's not already apparent, I'm trying to make major changes to this site. Like unsuckifying it, for one. I'm not sure why I didn't update my blog all week, but seeing as today is Sunday and...well, that sucks, I'll write something once I figure out what the hell is going wrong with this site. [First off, it might look really bad in Internet Explorer, so you know what? Do yourself a favor and get Firefox. :)] Now that I've gotten to test this in IE, it actually looks a bit better, but has some bugs. in Firefox the first entry's date keeps getting linked and the first entry's title doesn't have a buttet point, but it works in IE. DAMMIT! I was so close!

I still prefer Firefox, of course.

Obesity, Here I Come!

Alright, I'm exaggerating a bit. I've never been obese, only overweight (although as to what a normal weight should be is debatable). For some reason lately I've been unable to control how much dried fruit and nuts I eat and it's really bothering me. However, all I do is sit here and stuff myself sill while thinking, "Gee, I shouldn't be doing this." So in the end, I know it's all my fault, but why? My body has no need for copious amounts of nuts and dried fruits, but I can't turn that sense off. All I can do is use up my supply of nuts and dried fruit (which will only take another day or two) and see what happens. I won't say how much I weigh now or how much I used to weigh before doing the whole vegan/raw food (and now non-vegan raw food) thing, but I've gained nearly half of what I lost two summers ago. Fun? No.

As for non-vegan foods, I had Japanese food with Sarah, a friend from high school, last Thursday. That was the first time I ate at a restaurant since winter break. Sure, it hasn't been that long, not even two months, but it's nice to get out and eat somewhere other than my dorm room. The dinner was kind of random, but not really...I don't mean it in a bad way. I saw Sarah at the Rufus concert last week and she suggested we get together. She's really cool and unique, and I think I'm lucky to know her. We were casual acquaintances in high school and can recall those fond memories from AB calculus... .... ...yup.

Other things I did last week were freak out about bio, freak out about psych, and freak out about Japanese. Thank god I don't freak out about music theory. [Sidenote: damn, these pants are getting tight. Screw me.] I had to write a bit of my manuscript-thingy for bio, thus telling me that BIO IS NOT A ROBYN THING (although to be honest, most things aren't). I can think of loads of things that would make bio worse, but it's bad enough now. The only good thing that happened was that last Tuesday we all got laptops to use to work on spreadsheets and I used it to check my webmail, only to come across a message saying that my package from had arrived in the shipping building. First, I thought, "Crap, it's closed already," but then I realized "No wait, I have five minutes! Five minutes to run like hell!" The thing about the shipping building (which is where all the non-USPS packages go) is that it's one of the farthest places on campus from anywhere else, which I'm sure would suck if you shipped a sofa to yourself. However, the bio building isn't too far away, and I got to the counter just as it was about to be closed. Woo! I carried around my package of dried fruits and nuts like a first-born child.

And all that sweet sweet delicious food has contributed to the sharp increase of my girth in the past week. Damn! Yeah, I obsess over weight, probably more than other people. I know I shouldn't. But I'm not sure what kind of eating disorder I have. It's not something easily identifiable like anorexia (oh man, there's one thing that'll never happen), it's just...well, I enjoy eating. People tell me they enjoy eating, which is why they can't be raw foodists. No, no, I really enjoy eating. Maybe I'm so removed from the cooked food lifestyle that I can't understand other people's views anymore. There's going to be an "eating disorders workshop" on campus tomorrow, and it sounds kind of interesting, but I don't want to hear about people who DON'T eat. You don't get to hear obese people talk about being overweight much, do you? If you ask me, the number of people with the "disorder" of overeating is much higher than those who eat too little. If whatever I'm saying now sounds really stupid, then forgive me, because I've never known anyone who was anorexic. I'm not trying to be unsympathetic or anything. Oh, something funny (or not) is that in this e-mail about the eating disorder workshop, it says that refreshments will be served. I can understand that since refreshments are served at EVERY function possible (even the ones promoting hunger strikes, I'm sure) but it just seems a little ironic. :)

Friday felt like the longest day ever. I woke up at 8 AM for bio, like every Friday, and after my Japanese class was over, I met up with my mum to go shopping. We went to Borders, but I didn't find anything I wanted. Then we went to some grocery stores, where I did find things that I wanted. :) I got a few containers of those young greens salads (mm) and some nuts (bad idea). I also got some organic oranges, which I must say do taste different from regular ones, at least the ones I can get in school. I'm not sure how they taste better, but they do. We also went to a Christian bookshop since from afar I thought it was a regular one. Damn. I'm not against religion, I mean...well, whatever floats your boat, as long as it doesn't make you sink other people's boats (I have no idea what I just say; some neurons aren't functioning) but there was this one book that sounded so ridiculous to me. It was written by some pastor (or someone like that) who had gotten cancer. The exerpt on the back of the book said something along the lines of "At first I thought, how could I have cancer? I've been so good to God! I'm here to tell you that you can get cancer too." Well, that's not what it said, obviously, but it was just as ridiculous sounding. This guy just sounded a tad ignorant. You can' abuse your body just because you have faith in a God.

Something I noticed is that despite my loading up of my body with hard to digest foods like dried fruit and nuts, I haven't been lethargic or sleepy. I was disappointed that I couldn't sleep for more than 8 hours at a time this weekend. I went to bed at 4 AM and woke up between 11 and 12. I've also been waking up a few minutes before my alarm goes off in the morning each weekday, which I find really freaky since the times I have to wake up aren't the same every day. My digestion has always sucked, so I'm thinking that my body isn't using up loads of energy digesting because it just doesn't know what to do. It says, "Screw you, we're not dealing with these raisins. We'll just pack em away in this little part of your intestines and make you look like you're in your second trimester." Oh, okay, thanks! Well, at least I can wake up before the sun starts to go down.

I didn't finish talking about Friday yet. Um. Um. Erm. Oh yes, my mum and I went to places, one which was a spanish grocery store. I've never seen one before, so it was interesting. They had a whole aisle of dried chiles. Also, they had small packs of nuts, which was a big difference from the build half pound or one pound bags I saw at Stop and Shop. Oh, another thing, the Stop and Shop had shopping carts that you had to pay to use, which I've never seen before. It makes the Stop and Shop I worked at look so...ghetto, for lack of a better word (and the one I worked at was called a Super Stop and Shop? I don't know what the "super" means, although I've been trying to figure it out). Friday night I saw Whale Rider with Megan on campus (the film league puts on good movies). I saw it before with my mum, but it's a really good movie so I wanted to see it again. After that we saw the HEL (Happily Ever Laughter) comedy show, which the two guys across the hall were in. It was pretty funny, with surreal humor. Now I think the guys across the hall are really, really weird. They're really nice guys who you'd never know are so odd. And then you see the "Mr. Pokey" movie...nah, I won't get into that, but it was reallly funny. Many talents, ah...yes.

On Saturday I thought about doing something, but instead I stayed in my room all day. I also worked on this like? I got this far, but as for doing all the other pages on my site, I don't know what I'm going to do. Paaaain. I want to become a CSS MASTAAAH (as opposed to the lowly, CSS MASTER) but I can't remember all the damn tags. It's so nice to not have to deal with crazy HTML anymore. I can't believe the crap-ass websites I used to make where I'd format every single paragraph of text with font and font size and all that crap. And tables are a bitch, so I'll try to stop using them, if possible. I really want to redo the evenmagnet tour page. I'm working on the pictures page right now and it's going...alright. Considering how slow I am, at least.

So just as a warning, a lot of the stuff on this page isn't going to work. I'd be surprised if anything does, actually. COMMENT! DO SOMETHING! :)

February 26, 2004

Too Damn Long

I decided that my entries were just too damn long to be displayed in full length on this page. I was worried that people missed my "exploding nematodes" entry due to the other entry I posted in the same day (not that you would have missed out on much...maybe it's for the better). The blips are my way of posting interesting links, not that you actually have to visit them. But didn't anyone watch the weird Korean poop animation? Anyone? ...Bueller? I probably need a wider readership before I can demand more comments. ;)

March 7, 2004

Poofy Takeover!

Wow, I didn't update this thing since Tuesday? I don't even remember what has happened since Tuesday. Crap.

Wednesday. ....Wednesday. Oh yes, I had my music theory midterm and it was a lot like the quiz my teacher had previously given us. I was pretty surprised. After that it was off to the media cloisters (I haven't a clue if the website is ever updated, but then again our big project now is to make a new website) to I worked on centering the main div which works fine if your monitor has a gigantic resolution, but if you're like the rest of the world, the centering doesn't work well because it uses negative magins which you can't scroll to view. Damn. I was really happy with it at first until that problem came up. Also, it only looks good in Firefox, although for some reason the scrollbar isn't clickable for me (but the arrows work). This just sucks.

Making websites is just annoying sometimes. There are so many things I want to do with my websites, but I haven't gotten started on ANYTHING and at this rate I never will. Here are my priorities:

  1. install movable type at and somehow configure it so I can use it for the discography and tour sections
  2. sometime implement MT so I can use it for the photo section
  3. figure out how to customize scrollbars for the cloisters site

I probably won't do any of these things, but they're in my head. Somewhere. Covered with dust, underneath the couch. You know what, I haven't sat on a couch in a long time. I have no idea why I just said that. Where did the word "couch" come from anyway? Couch? And where did "sofa" come from? Where did any word come from? WHERE?!

Sofa couch sofa couch sofa couch couch sofa!

Thursday started off pretty nicely, despite having to go to a 9 AM class and the weather being gloomy. My psych teacher said it must've been the worst day to come to class, just a day before vacation (actually, the next day had worse weather and WAS the day vacation was starting, but my bio teacher doesn't give us pity...haha) so he let us out 15 minutes early (which he actually does every now and then). This was great in my case because I wanted to go to Japanese class early to see the first section's presentations, although I missed the first couple since the class started at 10 AM. We all had to present a project in Japanese, but it could be based on anything we wanted. I chose to sing and write a song in Japanese about Yuebing and as Thursday loomed closer I realized that I had never played guitar and sang in front of any person before, not to mention a group of people. During the time before I had to present I started looking out the 3rd story window longingly, wondering if it would do much hard to jump out.

The people before me went through their presentations way too quickly. Dammit! The guy who went before me performed "I Want You Back" along with a recording by the Japanese version of the Jackson 5. He was really good (he's a music major) and then I realized..."I have to go after HIM?" Oh god. But I have to admit that things could have gone much worse. I was nervous as hell and my singing wasn't that great (and I suck at guitar), but some of my practice runs had been worse. So! Overall, could've been worse. That's how I look at the bright side. My teacher wants me to record it so she can have it on tape...ahh!

Oh, and if you're curious enough, here are the lyrics (although they won't work if you don't have the Japanese language pack on your computer):

とても かわいい うさぎ が います。 とくべつ な うさぎ が います。. このうさぎ が だいすき です。 このうさぎ は、だれ ですか?

おなまえ は ユエビン です。
よこはま しゅっしん です。
かのじょ を ハグしたい です。
かのじょ が にほん に います。

たべもの は あたま の うえ に あります。
チョコレートたまご が あります。
もの が たくさん あたま に あります。
たべたこと が できません。

おなまえ は ユエビン です。
よこはま しゅっしん です。
かのじょ を ハグしたい です。
かのじょ が にほん に います。

とても かわいい うさぎ が います。
とくべつ な うさぎ が います。
このうさぎ が だいすき です。
このうさぎ は、だれ ですか?

I don't feel like translating it because it's pretty stupid...but it could've been worse! I know there aren't spaces in Japanese (unless it's a children's book or something) but it helped me out a bit. While I wasn't the only student singing and memorizing a song, or even the only one who wrote one (the guy who lives across the hall from me wrote his own song too), I maybe have been the only person that did all three. I missed the other guy's performance since he's in the first section and performed first, but I would have loved to see it.

I don't think I'll ever play guitar and sing in front of anyone again. At least not in Japanese. It was so unlike me to even do that as my project! There's a first time for everything though, even when you're as shy as I am.

Friday was great because I got to come home! I haven't been home for weeks, and I had actually started getting used to stayed in school every weekend. Last semester I came home on almost ever weekend, which was kind of sad, but I honestly didn't have much to do in school. Bio in the morning was pretty pointless as we had to do an assignment online and the website wasn't working well. I never really know what's going on in that class, to tell you the truth. Japanese class was okay, although made me feel confused like usually. I have a 91 in that class...91! Just a few more points and I'd feel more comfortable. I won't die if I get a B+ or an A- of course, but I'd really like an A in that class. I can brush off psychology and bio, but for me, Japanese is that class that makes me think, "I can do well if I try hard enough!" Which reminds me, I need to make some kanji flash cards. I am truly awful at kanji.

You can trademark the name Kathleen? Wow, I didn't know how much stuff Amrican Girls has been making since I was into it. I used to read the Molly series all the time when I was in grade school (I've never read the other ones) and for some reason also bought trading cards and pins, but I never succumbed to buying the entire Molly doll set ...even though I really, really wanted it. I'm glad I didn't because it's not like I'd have any use for it now, but a lot of my classmates had them. I think on Halloween some of them dressed up like the character and would carry around the doll. I remember playing with some of my classmates' dolls and thinking they were the coolest thing, although I may have been more impressed with the little accesories that came with the doll than the doll itself. Man, it's so weird looking at this stuff again. I don't have any of the books anymore, but I think I can still remember some of the stories.

Wow, this entry is pretty boring right now. I'm not really tired or anything, but...(looks at watch)...I do have to wake up in about 3 and a half hours. I think I'll just stay up then. My mum and I are getting picked up at 6-something AM to go to the airport, and then we'll be on the 6-fhour flight to California (it takes 4 hours to come back). I just read that it takes 5 hours to fly to Iceland, which I never thought about before. Iceland just feels so much farther, but I guess it isn't much father than California? I mean, it's in a different direction so that would affect the flight time, but still, it's not like going to Taiwan. So. Yeah. I still need to figure out what to do about going to England, like where/when/how. I also need to renew my passport, as my current one expires in September. I didn't even USE this one in the past four years! My first passport is chock full of stamps (I always got annoyed with Taiwanese customs because they wouldn't stamp in the boxes and in a perfect world, all the stamps would be nicely organized) which fascinates me now because I haven't been anywhere that far in a long time. I did go to Mexico last year, but I guess passports didn't need to be stamped.

On Friday I got my haircut with my mum, not to get any particular style but just to get a trim. I think it's been four months since my last haircut, which is probably really long considering how short my hair is. We stopped by Kinokuniya since it's right by the hair salon and I wanted to get this issue of Idea, but it wasn't there! *sniff* They usually have a bunch of back issues, so I was hoping to get one. Maybe it's better I don't have it since it costs $40 (but it's much more like a book than a magazine), but I still want it. Blah.

My haircut came out very nice and a different guy cut it this time. I think I've had my hair cut by every stylist who works there, actually. I never care who actually cuts my hair because I haven't noticed any difference, but they always ask that when you make an appointment. Anyhoo, I was wearing my Poofy shirt and one of the ladies said it was cute! I tried to communicate in Japanese, but failed miserably. All I could figure out to say was "kakimasu," which means to write, or to draw in the case of pictures. I told the guy who was cutting my hair that I'm taking Japanese, but I'm just really bad at it (can anyone be really good at Japanese after learning it for less than a year?). He asked me what else I knew how to say, and all I could think of was "Usagi ga, daisuki desu" ...which wasn't totally random since my shirt had Poofy on it. Yeah, that phrase will be handy someday, I'm sure. I can spontaneously break into song!

Speaking of Poofy, if you live in the Philippines you can read a comic in the latest issue of MTV Ink! Don't you want to be as cool as this hippo? Awesome, awesome, AWESOME! IT'S TRIPLE THE AWESOME! YOU MUST ZOOM IN ON THE AWESOME! I have to thank Luis for being super-awesome (I need to expand my vocabulary, I know). He's super-awesome regardless of pushing Poofy onto Philippino youth (I will control their minds, mwaahahaah!). He also interviewed me for an article about young people making things, and I think I'll post the chat transcript here later because some people may find it interesting. Or...probably not. It's such an ego-trip to talk about yourself for a long time.

I should finish packing now. I'm bringing my laptop with me, so I can post things during my vacation...the blogging never stops!

March 21, 2004


I know I have homework. Now that I've had two weeks of spring break to do it, it's the Sunday afternoon before classes and I still haven't touched bio.

Oh well. Today I was too lazy to get real food, so I figured I could fast for a while. But no...I brought dried fruit and nuts from home, so I ate that. I thought "Well, there's no way I'd want to just eat dried stuff all day!" HAHA. I have a 1 lb bag of cashews and I have no idea how much I've eaten so far. Argh! Stupid fake hunger! I'm still in my pjs, of course.

I got back to school last night at around 10:30 PM. My original plan was to leave my house at around 4 PM, but I woke up at 2 PM and didn't want just 2 hours to sulk around the house before going back to school. Need more sulking time! So my mum and I went grocery shopping and we saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I really liked the movie, but I wouldn't be able to bear watching it again because the camera movements were pretty shaky and made me feel like puking. Dancer in the Dark did the same thing to me. Good movies need to have non-shaky camera movements! For my sake! ME! Oh well. :) The movie is about Jim Carrey's character Joel erasing the memories he had of his girlfriend, Clementine, played by Kate Winslet, because she had her memories erased. There's a lot more to it than that (Elijah Wood plays a rather evil character, mwahahaha) but I think that's the gist. I forgot that there was a Beck song in it, but I liked it...and now I want the soundtrack. The music in the movie is really nice. The way the movie was shot is interesting...hooray for Michel Gondry!

I stayed up until 4 AM last night and woke up at about 12:30 today. Sleep is good. That's what Sundays are for. Today I've been trying to figure out what to do for my photos section and I made this up so far. Nothing flashy. Can't deal with that. Can' Brain dead. Correct grammar non-existent.

I haven't updated this blog in a few days, but I haven't been doing many blog-worthy activities. I met my high school English teacher on Friday night, which was nice. There was a production being put on by the University Program students and I met her after that. She said she has a class of students this year who actually enjoy reading and things like that. She must be really happy. :D I mean, I definitely didn't experience that throughout my high school years. I always felt bad for my teacher for having to put up with so much crap. Actually, the same goes for all my teachers. Honors classes, CP classes, AP classes...99% of the time there was someone who made the class suck more than they already did. The only exception I can think of was my 12th grade psychology class. Everyone in the class was nice to each other and respectful to the teacher. *gasp!* Yes, I know.

Unless you live in Taiwan or are from Taiwan, you probably haven't heard much about the Taiwanese elections that just took place. Or the president and vice president being shot and the controversy behind that. I have no idea who was president when I lived in Taiwan. Actually, I had no idea what the president really did...I can't imagine being that clueless about the government in the US. Then again, most of the world seems to know what's going on in the American political system. Anyhoo, President Chen Shui-bian was re-elected by a very narrow margin which is pissing off a lot of people. I have no idea what the candidates are like, but my mum doesn't like Shui-bian, so I'm guessing he must be pretty bad. Which means my dad probably likes him. Ha ha. He got a picture of President Bush and his wife in the mail for supporting what are we supposed to do with the photo? Eh.

I can't think of anything else to write at the moment, except that I must've eaten a lot of cashews. OH, I just remembered something. On Friday for lunch, my mum and I ate out at a buffet place we haven't been to in more than a year. We used to go there a lot and since they have fruit, we figured it'd be okay. I actually decided to try some cooked veggies. COOKED! GAAAASSSPPUH! I've been rethinking the raw food diet for a while and I figured I may as well try something cooked, as long as it's not deep fried cheese sticks or spaghetti or something. I didn't feel any weird effects from it and since it's already Sunday, I don't think anything bad will happen. So I guess if I had to eat out somewhere, cooked veggies would be okay. They're more filling than salad, at least. If it were up to me though, I'd only have to eat fruit. You can't get all your minerals from fruit though. :(

April 1, 2004

One Week of One Meal Per Day

I think I started just eating one meal a day last Thursday, so it's already been a week. What's happened since then? Well. I didn't lose as much weight as I would have liked, but I'm definitely better off this way. I feel like my digestion is better and (get ready for this) I didn't need my alarm clock to wake me up at all this week. WHOA. Whoa. That's never happened before. It's not like I'm hungry when I wake up (I don't get hungry until about 3 PM, and then I just wait until 5 PM or so to eat dinner), I just wake up and realize, "Whoa, it's time to wake up." It doesn't matter if it's a day when I have to wake up at 10 or a day when I have to wake up at 8. Isn't that odd? I absolutely hate the sound of my alarm clock (you probably know this already, but never use a song or sound that you like as an alarm clock because you'll eventually grow to hate it and wish you could cut the chunk out of your brain that memorized the sound) so it's nice to wake up before it jerks my brain into semi-consciouness.

Where the hell are all these people who said they wanted Poofy shirts? I haven't gotten any responses about them yet, but supposedly people want them. All I need is a minimum of 10 orders to get them printed. 10! WE CAN DO THAT! Make a legion of Poofy lovers in Poofy-clad t-shirts!

So. What's been going on this week? Speaking of Poofy, I sold a bunch of stuff to some people on my floor on Tuesday. One girl bought two small Poofies for her younger sister(s?) and a pack of buttons. Another girl bought a big Poofy for her little sister. Aw, how sweet! So bringing my entire Poofy shop inventory to school and storing it in a crate in my closet wasn't totally useless! That's good to know. I also gave a Poofy shirt to my Japanese teacher. She wanted to pay me but...god no! That'd be crazy. Besides, she wrote me a recommendation and I gave presents to all my high school teachers who wrote me recommendations, so I think it was a good gift.

Ah, Japanese class. It's weird because I enjoy it, but I suck at it. There's almost no way I can get an A this semester unless I study my ass off, which I'm most definitely not doing. I had a test on Tuesday and it was bad (shiken o warui desu!) and I had an interview test, which was also bad. The only good thing was my dialogue test. Hooray for rote memorization!

As for good things happening in class, I got an A on my bio manuscript! It's absolutely crazy though because my teacher graded extremely leniently. One of my graphs was completely wrong, or somewhat wrong, and I only got one point taken off. I had another point taken off for something else. But overall, I had two points taken off of a paper that kind of sucked, as far as I'm concerned. Oh well, I won't complain. I'm just not sure if that was the right grade...

Music class is getting worse. I'm not sure how to explain why it's getting worse, but I guess you have to be there. For one thing, we do a lot more singing now and I haven't even memorized "do re mi fa sol la si do" and what notes they correspond to. A lot of people in my class aren't used to singing so when we have to sing stuff, it comes out all jumbled. My teacher (I gotta say, the photo on that website isn't very good) is incredibly patient, but sometimes I wonder if he's laughing inside and calling us names while putting on a facade. ...probably not.

I'm going home this weekend! Wooohoo! I'll have to get my comics and scan em. 50 of them. Kill me. And I'll be scanning other things. Because I'm going to make the best damn Poofy book ever. And to achieve that, it'll be the only Poofy book ever! It'll suck AND rule at the same time. Which is awesome. Or stupid. Hell, it's BOTH!

HOLY CRAP I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW TO ACCESS THE MEDIA CLOISTERS SERVER...okay, this is stupid. I didn't know I could do that. If I knew this before, that would've save so much trouble. Argh! Now I'm kind of mad at myself. I don't know much about computers. :| I was looking at this page, which didn't help much, and then luckily got things to work by typing in "http://mcserver" and whoa, that worked. Ooh. Oh yeah, that's a big perk of working in the media cloisters; you get your own folder in which you can store as much junk as you want. Wee! Now scanning all those comics won't be as annoying.

I always feel like I don't know what I'm doing when I have MC meetings. Today I had to go to one and last night I had to go to one. It was all this CSS stuff and while I think the website we're working on has a cool design, it isn't necessarily the right one for what we're trying to create. What we're trying to do is make a very web-standards friendly css-driven cross-browser site that should be user-friendly...or something. But some parts of it seem hypocritical to me. For instance, the little window that has all the content in it is...well, little (actually, it's not little if you have a 1024x768, but using the really nice monitors in the MC, it looks tiny). There are loads of divs with set widths and junk like that. But a big thing that some of the other web team members are pushing is having relative sizes, like not defining fonts as a certain number of points but as small or x-small. I think if you want to emply relative sizes, then you shouldn't have a layout that's so completely UNrelative. I'm know I'm not really knowledgable about web stuff, or at least not as much as the other people, but this doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I'd rather that the content not be confined into a little rectangle that stays in the middle of the screen (and we'll have to change that bit because if your resolution is too low, like on my laptop, you can't scroll up and see the content that's in a negative margin) and I like it when the links bar is at the top of the page, not the bottom. I guess that part isn't so bad, but it doesn't work in IE, I think. I mean, the whole site looks like complete crap in IE, so if you want to see what it's supposed to look like, you have to use Firefox. Mozilla might work too.

...Blah. I think I ate too much. I have a problem with the 5 oz packs of trail mix they sell in the Retreat; every time I start eating one, I have to finish it. I can't even just eat half of it and save it for later. 5 oz is a lot of nuts and dried fruit. I also had two bananas just because. Why not? And three oranges. And an organic food bar. It's a lot of food for one meal. Calorie wise, I'm set for the whole day. I suppose if I gain weight, I'll learn my lesson.

I was using Winamp for a while to play ogg files, but everything sounded like crap. Not just the ogg files, but mp3s too. Eh? I have no idea why, but I downloaded Quintessential Player and everything sounds great. There are loads of free electronic songs in ogg format to download at observatory online. Right now I really like .Tape. and Satellite Groove. Yay for good music YAY!

April 7, 2004

Roughly a Bagillion

Do you ever feel like there are (roughly) a bagillion things you want to do, yet somehow you never get around to doing any of them? Or 0.01% of them? There are so many website redesigns that I've been putting off for ages (mainly that I haven't even started to think about yet. Argh! And I really would like to make more music since some people have more faith in my musical capabilities than myself, but I have no idea how to go about that. As for more webdesign stuff, I'm going to be working on a website for a business (a real one...yes)! I'm very excited that I can help out an up-and-coming raw food company spread the healthfullness. SPREAD IT! SPREAD IT LIKE BUTTER!...okay, I need to up the quality of this blog,

Hello! How are you? Good? Good. As I was saying, I'll be making a website for a raw food living company (or at least designing a layout) and I will be paid in food! Oh yes, glorious food. Everyone needs food, so that works out for me. Then again, I tend to gain weight by breathing or doing other normal human activities, so I probably won't want to get paid in food for very long. I'll be hosting the site and the company wants to pay me for that too! I don't think it's necessary as I'd be paying for my own webhosting anyway, but I shouldn't argue either, eh? I dont think it would take up that much space. Anyhoo, as far as a design, I've punched this out, but that's only a very general idea as there are going to be a lot more sections than I had originally planned for. Also, I have to stick their logo in the page (I didn't design it, as I have no idea how to design logos, but I redrew it in photoshop). I thought I could do it in Movable Type, but I think I'll try to utilize Dreamweaver MX because I juts found out you can set templates so you can apply one design to a buttload of pages at once. I DIDN'T KNOW THIS BEFORE. DOH. I guess that's what instruction manuals are for. Silly me.

As for more design related things, how about a new Poofy related shirt? I think I'll do another run of the Poofy design, but on a tank top so I don't end up with similar shirts to before, and another shirt of a yet-to-be decided design. Vector Poobs is a possibility, but I spend a ridiculously large amount of time today designing a vintage themed Amdagascar shirt, as stupid as it may be. It took me ages to find the font, but Fannio directed me to a free download of Cooper Black! I hope that's not illegal. ;)

Blah dee dah...I don't do much homework at all. My plan for tomorrow though is to DO homework! YES! That's what I'm here for, I think. Tomorrow after Japanese I'll go straight to the music library and listen to the CDs I need in order to write my listening composition whatchamacallit. And then I'll go to music class and be confused like usually (I cannot remember all the when something is perfect or major or minor. I understand what they are, but I can't calculate them on the fly. I'd probably have to memorize it like the times table) and then go to the media cloisters to "work". I've actually been helping people lately, if that makes my job sound more concrete than sitting in front of a computer for two hours scanning Poofy comics and surfing the Internet. Two people needed to scan things...two! That never happened before. So far I've helped people scan and...scan. Hey, it's all good. One guy was scanning his MCAT answer sheet and another guy was scanning a personal photo of himself sitting on an Easter bunny when he was younger, or something. Well, it looked something like that...I figured I wouldn't ask. ;D

[Random: I absolutely love this trailer for Garden State.]

I might be working here over the summer. That kind of frightens me because...well, I'm going to voluntarily stay here during the summer? Wuuh? I'd get paid and have a place to live, of course, and it's not like I'd have school work. I'd have the other work. Stuff. Something. I'd be hired for my HTML and CSS prowess...oh wait, I have none! Screw me. I mean, I have more than a clump of dirt, if I have to compare myself to something...I think for whatever reason I keep worrying about letting people down for not being good enough.

I'm kind of worried about NYU now because...well, what if I get in? It's not a very big chance, but I'm worried about being accepted. That's somewhat odd. I...I don't know. I'm torn. I really want to go to Japan next year for the spring break trip and I'm acting as though I'm staying here. Need to figure out my classes and such to be a Japanese major (I'll be the worse one ever, yeaaahhaaa!). And what if NYU accepts me? Then I'll have to take a bunch of required classes (a few histories and an English at the very least, I suspect) and go into my food studies major. I don't know what I'm talking about! Argh! Frustration! Argh! Argh some more! Argh! I'm turning into a damn pirate! Arrrrhh matey! I won't find out my acceptance until mid-April to mid-May, or possible mid-June (or mid-another month). Arrgh this is crap, what did I pay $60 in application fees for?

Arrrrh matey.

Lastly, today in bio my class went into the woods and collected dirt. THE END.

April 9, 2004

I Have a Summer Job?

I've decided to work here over the summer. I think. ...yes. Yes. NO! AHH! I DUNNO! SO DAMN INDECISIIIIVEEE! If I stay here I'll work for two months earning something like $400/week (whoaa) and I'd live in the town houses. I have no idea what they're like, but they're not that far from school. My biggest concern, besides whether or not I'm qualified, is whether or not I can stand being in this school for two months and...yeah. I have to admit I've grown to not dislike this place so much, but two months in the summer will be an interesting exprience. I really hope I can just do my own webjunk most of the time, but I'm supposed to work on the web dev site jiggy and...mrrh? Mrrh.

GET YOUR AMDAGASCAR SHIRTS while they're hot! Or non-existent! I'm surprised by the shirt that's winning now. The one I voted for currently has...erm, one vote. GO ME!

Now for some relevent friday five questions:

  1. What do you do for a living?
    I go to Vassar College and work in the media cloisters. And I sleep and eat.
  2. What do you like most about your job?

    It's really flexible and it pays well considering that most of the time I work on my own websites or do other computer things.
  3. What do you like least about your job?

    Hm...well, sometimes I don't know if I'm qualified for it. I kind of wish more people needed my help.
  4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because _____...

    It makes me feel stupid for some reason. It doesn't happen much though.
  5. What other career(s) are you interested in?

    NO FREAKIN CLUE *sob*. I wouldn't mind knowing how to be a graphic designer, but I think it'll just be a lifelone hobby.

April 22, 2004

Cooked food and TV

You want to know what wild and crazy thing I did today? Do you? I ate cooked food at watched TV. Oh god, what is the world coming to? I have no clue. It's a sign of the apocolypse, I suppose. Most people do eat cooked food and watch TV though, eh? I've actually eaten cooked food on two occasions this week, but shush, don't want people to think that I'm giving up raw food. ;) Actually, I'm just trying to refine my diet. My body has been giving me signs that it's completely screwed up lately in the form of weird cravings (well, that might just be everday cravings for anything that's edible) and strangely timed periods (had some kind of mini-period a week ago, and a few days ago I got my real period only three weeks after my last real period, if that makes any sense). Overall, I feel fine, but it's still worrysome. I mean, if your nerve cells didn't work and you found that your arm had fallen off but couldn't feel anything, that would still worry you, right? I suppose the gushing blood would be a big giveaway...

I've actually been doing a lot of stuff this week, but every time I felt like writing an entry it would just be past midnight so I'd think, "Ah, I'll do it tomorrow." Or never. Something like that. By now though I can't even remember what I've been doing. Oh, on Tuesday I had the most fun bio lab that lasted about 4 and a half hours long. It's because I'm slow like that. We had a bunch of petri dishes with fungal and bacterial growth and we had to label and count all the colonies. Not fun.

Japanese has been kick ass fun lately. I mean, more fun than usual. And it's usually pretty good. (Something tells me that I need to take another English course. What's with all these weird broken sentences?) We've been doing lots of oral exercises and I've had to cram my head with useful vocabulary like "fuel efficiency" (nenpi) and "one's feeling while driving" (norigokochi). Because one day I'm going to have to say something like "While I'm driving this car I feel like the fuel efficiency is great," and I'll be halfway there.

I had a prospie (prospective student) yesterday and today and she was really cool. Thankfully she didn't ask me anything that would cause me to reveal (or lie) that I will be transferring. She was a pretty big Beck fan...I've never met a Beck fan (outside of a Beck concert, and even at those I don't talk to anyone) before! Awesome, yes. I hope she liked it here enough. She kept asking about what there was to do around here, which I'm not that fit to answer seeing as I used to go home every weekend without a second thought. I'm not planning to go home until study week (for some Clinic concert goodness) and I am finding things to do on campus, which is...good. Tomorrow I'm going to play tennis with Joan, after which I guess we'll eat dinner, go to the movie being put on by the film league (21 Grams) and then go to an all female comedy show.

Oh, I didn't even get to the eating cooked food and watching TV thing that happened today! Welll...maybe I should track-back a bit. On Tuesday I ate Chinese take out with Joan and I got some yummy mixed veggie thing. Nothing added like sauce or salt or MSG. Wooo. It would be weird if they just cooked it in MSG. Anyhoo, that was yummy, so now I'm thinking that I'll incorporate more cooked veggies into my diet, because that might be the only way for me to eat a steady amount of veggies. However, after eating this huge platter of veggies, I still wanted fruit and other things. So I'm kind of eating....a lot right now. I've gained 10 pounds since the beginning of the school year, which is pretty bad. Today I suggested we go to a nearby Vietnamese restaurant because I didn't feel like staying in my room, and that was pretty good, although I prefer the Chines take out because it was really plain. I'm sure I could have ordered something more plain at the Vietnamese place, but I got a nice dish of mix veggies in a spicy sauce. Mmm. What I noticed about cooked food though that I would obviously not be used to having eaten nearly all raw food for the past 15 months is that cooked food can also connotate hot food. I'm not used to hot food at all. It's not like my mouth needed to adjust to it, but really hot food just isn't pleasant. I wouldn't have minded if my dish had been completely cooled off, actually.

After eating dinner, I act some more fruit and goji berries (I'm a huge pig, yes) before going to Jewett to watch Friends with Joan. Man, their TV is really nice, alone with the entire building for that matter. It's a pretty big flat screen TV. Anyhoo, I hadn't seen Friends in a long time and apparently I saw a pretty bad one. It seemed short without much of a point. Fun! We went to the Aula Coffeehouse after that to see Chris Maher play, and he was okay...not really my kind of music. Actually, if Beck had sang the same songs, I'd probably love them, but I'd love Beck if he wailed like a dying cow. Maybe.

Of course, one of the biggest things on my mind has been NYU. I think I really want to go. I'm worried, a little nervous/scared, but I'm sure I'll get used to it if million of other people manage to live there. I'm a little pissed because only 26 of my credits transferred even though I took about 30. They only accepted one semester of Japanese because that's all that's required, or something? But...what? I still don't get it. On their website I thought it said that they required 1-2 years of a language, depending on how intensive the coursework was. So they only took one of my semesters? I'm losing four credits. :( This means I'll have to take on a full 18 credit schedule for the next three years to graduate on time, most likely. I mean, the maximum you can take is 18 per semester, unless you want to pay for more. I don't know if I can handle that...well, that's what I get for being lazy. And I think I have to take a class for no credit, so I dunno what'll happen...

It's really hot here. The weather is nice, but I wish it were a little bit cooler. Hohum.

Today I installed Movable Type on Joan's site and I think it took less than 10 minutes. Whatever it took, it wasn't long and it actually worked the first time I tried to load it. That has never happened before!...I think. Well, I don't know. I've installed MT maybe four times in the past. It's not hard, although the first time I did it I was confused beyond belief. I still don't know what I'm doing, but I can pretend that I do. There was also a media cloisters talkie-thing about css/html junk that I was supposed to take part in, but I just sat there and let other people talk since they're more knowledgable and I suck at speaking anyway. Weee fun! Yes! Only 6 people showed up, and none of them were students. Bwahaha.

April 29, 2004

A weekend of pain!

Wow, I didn't know it had been so long since I updated this. My weekend was rather painful since I ate too many nuts and thus developed "balloon stomach intestine disorder", which probably has a real name but that's what I'm going to call it for now (BSID for short). I ate something like 8 ounces of cashews and hours later developed BSID. I don't know why my body would love the taste of cashews so much if they were bad for me, but there you go; my body is stupid. I was burping sulfur constantly, which my mum said was due to excess protein and fun junk like that. So I'm sure I've got enough protein to last me the rest of my life. Or at least the next week...

Well I haven't eaten any nuts since Saturday, so I hope my body is adjusting. I've been eating lots of fruit though, which could spell YEAST INFECTION, hooray! Health is a pain in the bum, yes. And this is why I'm going to major in nutrition.

I've been working on some websites, so check them out and tell me what you think:

Flaming Chef
Miscellany News

The Misc site is light years away from being finished. I just made up some kind of layout. The colors aren't even right yet. I volunteered to do the site because the current site is kinda crappy and not being worked on. I'm free, why wouldn't anyone not hire me? ;) I was forced to learn about css floats for the Misc site, so I see it as a good learning experience. Floats and clears are no longer uncharted territory!

I'm not sure why I randomly decided to talk about web junk, but I'll go back to health. BSID! Uh. It sucks! I was planning to go to a party on Saturday night but instead decided to stay in my room and deflate and attempt to puke (which didn't work). Sunday morning I woke up at 4, 5, and 9 AM with awful diarrhea. HOW LOVELY! Not. I took a nap later on and my mum came to visit me to fill out NYU forms and stuff. She took Joan and me to the mall to see Kill Bill 2 (awesome movie, yes) and we went to the supermarket where I got delicious tangerines. Or some kind of citrus fruit. Man, those were good.

Since then I've gotten better. Besides the constipation. I'm guessing that my intestines just emptied themselves out so despite the ridiculous amounts of soluble fiber I'm eating, it's not coming out. As long as I don't gain weight, I don't really care. Ish. I mean, I know the stuff I'm eating isn't that bad, although it's not a very large selection of food, which could be bad.

Today I went to a b-day part for a bunch of people in my student fellow group and I have to say, I felt kind of sad not being able to eat cake. I mean, of course I have the ability to eat cake and all, but I would really rather not eat cake. And if I did eat cake, I wouldn't want to eat at 9PM. I probably just seem too picky, but doesn't it mean anything that I even go to these little parties with no incentive, but just because it's someone's b-day and...blah? Oh well, I end up leaving early cos I have nothing to do there (don't have anyone to talk to...I mean, no one I really want to talk to). Those kinds of times made me happy that I'm transferring. I'm still kind of sad about it though...

I went through room draw (I was told to do so just in case) and despite my crappy draw number I still got a single. Hm. I guess someone else will have it next year.

June 1, 2004

screwed as always

I like my brain. I mean, it's been a pretty good brain thus far. It allows me to walk, talk, eat, sleep, put on my clothes, drive a car, type incessant crap, play the guitar, play the's quite nice. Of course, there have been times when it has let me down, like keeping me up all night and preventing me from sleeping or doing the opposite during classes that occur before 10 AM. And sometimes it just goes stupid. Stupid stupid. Like right now it's being stupid by ignoring whatever I learned in English class and spitting out lots of babbling junk. Blorp. Blorp? Huh? So what was I saying? I don't know.

I say "screwed as always" because that is life. Being screwed. Or being en route to the state of screwiness. When I say I'm screwed, it can only involve one of two things (or both, if I'm in an especially bad state): school or social life. Most of my problems from last year came from both of these things and as I'm not finished with school, you can guess what the problem is. I don't feel an inclination to be social, which might be my first problem. What's my motivation to hang out with other people when it usually just feels awkward and not fun? And why would I want to subject people to my company when my company is no better than a garden snail? I dunno, it beats the hell out of me. I have more fun being in my room, sitting on my bum as it grows to massive proportions, than being around other people, sitting on my bum as it grows to massive proportions.

I'm an awkward child/person, or to put it more nicely, I'm "unique." But of course, everyone is unique! In his/her own special way! Joy! Humans make me nervous, more so if I know the other person and am expected to social with the person. I'm fine around strangers, even better around people who are older than me, but peers my own age are something else. I'm not sure how I even got this far in life with my kind of personality. Shouldn't I have been eaten by a lion by now? Hm. Well. Too bad that didn't happen. I feel really bad for anyone here who has to talk to me for some reason. God knows what they think of me.

I want to go to sleep. Mmmrraaar.

Today I got especially annoyed when my room suddenly reeked of marijuana due to some people smoking it downstairs. If I were a pissy person, I would've gone down to ask them to stop, but I'm not pissy. I'm passive and pessimistic. Nice combination. Most people don't know what I'm like when I'm angry because I tend to not be angry, just depressed. I was a combination of the two and thought about how I'd just go home if I could, or sleep outside if it weren't cold and rainy. I don't want to smell like I just got out of a bar. But where the hell are the non smokers and drinkers around here? I'm not the only one. I think. I don't really understand what's appealing about smoking and drinking. It's not that pleasurable, is it? Anything that smells so disgusting can't be good. Don't people realize that their body is trying to tell them something? That's why we have SENSES, people. Tastes bad? Probably not all that good for you. The sad thing I find about most people is that their bodies are smart but their brains aren't. You get one human body; why damage it?

I'm trying to be more in tune with my body because lately I've been stuffing it with fruit and nuts against its will, resulting in a sickly Robyn. You know when nuts and fruit are too much for you, you're basically screwed. Tomorrow I might fast or just eat very light raw food while taking some cleansing herb junk. I have to wake up early to get all the herb junk in...which sucks. Hohum, I hope it'll be good for my intestines.

This weekend I went on a massive CD buying spree. Right now I'm listening to stuff. I met up with Cristen in NYC and we saw Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, and...Spring. It was a good movie, although there was probably tons of symbolism in it that I didn't pick up. After that we went to Other Music and headed to Life Thyme to eat some YUMMY FOOD! Mm. Food. Their dessert portions are always too large, but that doesn't stop me from eating the entire thing...which results in me feeling nauseous. Doh. Anyhoo, as for CDs, I bought "Light and Magic" (Ladytron), "Chiff-Chaffs and Willow Warblers" (Minotaur Shock), "Tides" (Arovane) and "& Yet & Yet" (Do Make Say Think). I've listened to everything already and it's all pretty nice stuff. Yay for blowing $60+.

Cristen has been my friend since 8th grade. It's kind of amazing...okay, not really. There are other friends I've had since 8th grade. In many ways, we're nothing alike, but we do luv each other. She's about 3 feet taller than me so sometimes I would joke around and call her mommy ...okay that's a little weird. My real mum is slightly taller than I am. Anyhoo! Cristen = cool, although hanging out with her brough some questions to my mind. How often do people talk on their cell phones for a somewhat extended period of time while walking with another person?'s not a big deal, but it's not something I can really relate to because just about no one calls my cell phone or would want to talk to me in general.

I used to have this other very good friend who was almost my complete opposite except that we both liked Beck. It was strange. I don't know why I was so drawn to someone who was nothing like me. If it were possible though, I'd still want to be friends with her (not that it's completely impossible, but I have no idea what she's up to).

If it were up to me, there are a lot of friendships that I wouldn't have destroyed. But I guess there's no use in thinking about that...

...thinking is such a bother. Time for bed.

[Okay, maybe not quite yet. This weekend I implemented some of my redesign. I also organized my poofy shirts, to some degree. All the styles in that photo are the only ones I have. If you're interested in anything, leave a comment or contact know how, yes?]

August 24, 2004

Still alive

It's been a while since I've updated this thing, but those of you who are my livejournal friends know I'm alive (alive and eating doggie treats. And if I weren't alive, I wouldn't be typing this whilst listening to Sondre Lerche. So there you go: Robyn = alive. Now the world may resume sucking.

I can't believe it's already been more than a week since Summer Sundae. I'm still in denial that I'm back home and that I have to move into my dorm in just a few days. And I'm in denial that I'm getting older as my birthday looms ever closer and I edge my way out of teenager-ness. I'd like to believe that in some ways I was never a typical teenager, but I was...a teenager. I mean, I still am. In about another year I won't be, but let's not think about that right now or else my hair with burst into gray-ness.

I've been thinking about my blogging over the past four years (four freakin' years; I actually started before that without a blogging tool, but here's my first blogger entry and what I've gained from it, besides getting used to writing in such a self-centered manner. [ponders] Not much. That's all I can come up with at the moment.

Over the weekend I didn't do much (unlike last weekend...[sigh]). I walked to the public library with my mum and found out it only took 25 minutes, as opposed to the 30 minutes I thought it took (hell yeah, shaved off five minutes!). The problem with my town is that it's not pedestrian friendly, otherwise it'd be pretty nice to walk around. There's a walkway for a bit of the walk, but otherwise cars may be dangerously close to turning you into roadkill. Not that they would, but it still sucks tip-toe-ing on the edge of the road and the overgrown grass. I don't know how much sidewalks cost but the library got a hefty makeover that must've cost a lot. SIDEWALKS! Put some sidewalks by the school as well.

I'm not much of a walker, but after being in London and Newbury I became more accustomed to walking. It would take Kat and me 30 minutes to walk from her house to the town center, but it was a really nice, pleasant walk through bountiful scenery and the lack of roadkill danger. Hells yeah! I'll keep those characteristics in mind when I want to find a place to live.

Last Friday I went to NYC to visit my dorm and time the walk from campus (Washington Square Park) to my home for the next year (200 Water Street). I don't know if I'm just an extremely slow walker, but it took my mum and me 50 minutes. I heard it would take around 40 minutes so I guess it's not far off, but still...blech. I can walk at least one way each day and both ways if I'm in a weird mood and feel like walking a lot. Don't worry, there are school shuttles and the subway that I can utilize. It's just such a difference from Vassar and getting to roll out of bed and be in class in about 5-10 minutes. Dammit. Then again, my dorm should be much nicer this year than last year. Then again, with the distance I probably won't spend as much time in my dorm as I did last year.

Mum and I walked around Chinatown, which was much fun since it's chock full of FOOD...that I shouldn't be eating. I'm trying to eat better than during the trip (as in major decrease in chocolate and biscuit/grain product consumption) but I'm still screwed. I think the only way for me to lose the 15 pounds or so I put on is to go back to 100% raw food. I'm currently eating fruit, yogurt, and steamed veggies, although more than half of what I eat consists of fruit. It's still a really good diet compared to how most people eat but it's still not good enough for me. :( Some people think I have major food issues and some people think I don't, so to clarify: I do have issues, but they're...well they don't make much sense, besides that just like most human beings, I enjoy the process of shoving food into my mouth and masticating to the point that I can swallow said food and let it churn in digestive juices until my intestines are ready to try and absorb whatever nutritients it can and hopefully expell said food in a timely and clean manner.

You can relate, right? Yeah.

I've been going through lots of website thinking lately since I'm still not sure how I'm designing (which doesn't work at the moment...kind of a mixed blessing for me). I've done one and a half designs so far (the half is one I started but gave up midway since it was craptacular) and the one I've got now is crap. Okay, it has a tiny bit of potential but it's not something I'd be willing to show anyone yet. Lee mentioned to me how if something is wrong with a fansite then it's just the fan's problem but on an official site it's also the artist's problem ...not that I intend to make problems but that's something I've been thinking about. Looking at the stats for, it says 2.9% of my audience is using Netscape 3.x. WHAT? Who are these people? I can't imagine how my site works (or doesn't work) in that browser. Really, what the hell? Mmwhatever, I'm going to try and make my code nice n clean and SPARKLY, or something...

I also chatted with Truck, not that my experience is really the same but his was the closest I could think of and...okay, that didn't sound grammatically correct. You're probably used to that by now though. HOORAY, your English skills are slowly deteriorating as you read my blog. Super! Anyhoo, yeah. He gave me quite a lot of good insight except...[looks at watch]...I have yet to heed any of it. But I'll keep it in mind.

[wheeze] Dammit, when I cough I get insanely wheezy right afterwards. It's a bit disturbing because having your lung tubes (that's what I call em) constrict isn't a sign of good health. It's hard for me to believe that I actually was doing the 100% (ish) raw food thing and feeling pretty good physically, at least compared to how I feel now, which is fat and un-breathe-ee. [WHEEEEZE]

Oh, those doggie treats I referenced in the beginning of this entry are quite good. I swear. Yeah, this is the nutritionist-in-training speaking. Figure the ingredients listed on the label weren't euphemisms for lesser quality foodstuffs (honey = dirt clods!), they were much better than most stuff you'd find in a supermarket for human consumption. I'm sure the people who made the treats ate them themselves too. The only thing I know I did wrong was eat something like half of the bag (so about 5 ounces) while dogs wouldn't be given that many treats in one day. But if I'm dead tomorrow, I'm going to blame it on the doggie treats (from the grave).

January 5, 2005

2005 is swell

Yesterday I went to bed sometime after 7 AM. When the sun starts coming up then you know you've stayed up a tad too late. I was trying to install Blosxom (because what I really need in life is another way to blog) and it worked. But. I haven't figured out how to make it do what I want it to do. It's actually too simple at this point, until I figure out what plugins I need or WHAT TO DO, GOD DAMMIT or maybe I won't make another blog because I really don't need to do that. Um. Yeah. I'll do things the old fashion way of just making pages and uploading them and blargh. I think I'm too lazy to do all the bloxsom stuff (my plan was to use it for a music blog).

My head hurts. I've watched the first season of Futurama and almost all of the second in their entirety twice. No, I don't loaf around and do nothing while the TV spits out electrical rays, giving me brain damage in the process. I also made POOFIES! This is mildly exciting since I haven't made any since last summer. It's not a big money maker but that's part of the reason I'm making them. So for roughly a million hours of labor I can make maybe $200. Sweet. Maybe because I was watching TV or because I hadn't made poofies in a while, it took me between 1.5 and 2 hours to make each Poofy. I didn't stuff them yet so it's probably closer to 2 hours. That's sad. It's a small part of my day of course. Last time I checked there were 24 hours in a day which means in theory, if I were a robot and did not require sleep or food, I could make 12 Poofies in one day. Over the past three days I've made 7 (unstuffed) Poofies. Not too bad for three days. I used to spread em out so I'd do one each day. I know I've made over 100 Poofies by now but I don't know the exact number.

Damn, I'm procrastinating and pushing off sleep. I'm reading and being completely fascinated in the process. Here I am doing essentially nothing but losing brain cells and these people went all over the US and saw a gazillion landmarks, met a gazillion people, covered a gazillion miles...a gazillion is a large number. So large, in fact, it's not even real. Maybe in the future someone will have figured out the numerical value of gazillion. Their experience with September 11th and being at ground zero is amazing but right now I'm looking at their cheap ass NYC tour. I'd consider doing this if I hadn't done almost everything on the list already. I haven't done numbers 1, 2, 4, 10 (I haven't been very close to City Hall but I've seen it, as I live near there, and I've walked under the Brooklyn Bridge a crapload of times by now), 12, 14, 16, 20, 25, and 30. So I've done enough, eh? Not in one day though and not recently. But I don't think I'll wanna do it all again by myself. IN ONE DAY. After reading that though, I feel rather adventurous and feel guilty for spending the entire day inside. I live in NYC and I didn't go outside at all today. That should be illegal.

So what will I do today? Probably wake up late and then be too lazy to go anywhere. Oops. What do I want to do...damn, I need more interests. I can't think of anything. On Saturday morning I walked down Broadway and everything was so empty, being New Year's Eve, except for the craploads of tourists (at least more than I'm used to seeing around here). It felt...just strange. Is my room the only place that doesn't feel strange? What the hell? I'm screwed. Maybe I need more friends. Yetta actually called me last night and asked if I would go to a taping of Carson Daly with her today! My initial reaction that I made after thinking for about half a second was that I wasn't interested in Keifer Sutherland or the other guests (not that I have anything against them, but I can't think of many [or any] actors/actresses that interests me enough to the point that I'd go to a TV show taping). After I got off the phone and though longer than a split second I realized that I probably should've gone just for the sake of getting out of my dorm and wandering around midtown, which may results in the purchase of FOOD but ...meh.

Oh, food. I looked in the mirror the other day and realized how fat I was getting. Very. I haven't weighed myself in more than a month (I used to weigh myself every day) because I'm too scared. :( I know the obvious thing to do is eat less but I didn't accomplish that today. I ate two persimmons, a pork bun, 6 dumplings, 1/2 pint of ice cream, two cups of hot white chocolate (because the mug fits that much), some chocolate, and a few ounces of snap peas. CRAP, I forgot to drink more water! Unless I eat something weird that makes me thirsty, I forget to drink water. Maybe I should eat drier food; that would get the message across.

I'm not unhappy but I'm not really happy either. Somewhere in between. I really need to lose weight. Oh well, at least I didn't eat any pastries today.

January 28, 2005

just to say hello

Actually, that's not true. There has been a lot on my mind in the past week but nothing I can explain in a cohesive manner. I don't know why this seems to be my most neglected blog. Actually, when I think about it a LOT has happened in the past week, such as the massive amounts of snow and actually going out sometimes and being completely food-stressed and somewhat doing well on my no grains diet. I slipped a little today because I went to Sugar Sweet Sunshine Bakery with Diana and wanted banana pudding, the least grain-based product there. Only problem is that banana pudding traditionally has vanilla wafers layered in it and when scooped out and splodged into a cup the vanilla wafers totally mix in. I was doing pretty well until the end when the bakery was closing and I frantically tried to get any other bits of banana or pudding into my system while avoiding the vanilla wafers that infiltrated every bit of luscious pudding. Not so good. I think I managed to eat a third of the cup. Great pudding but I just can't have it again. :(

Lately I've been having many doubts about school. I have no passion for it. ...I feel like I've talked about this before but it can be said again. School. Boo. I have nothing against education, I just don't feel like I belong there and nothing can convince me that EVERYONE is meant to go to college. The only reason I'm there is because my parents can pay for it. It's not like I didn't try at all to get in (I did well all throughout high school, although I did the minimum) but I'm not paying for any of it. If I had to pay for school I'd stay at home and go to Rutgers. Rutgers is a perfectly good school but doesn't carry the prestige of NYU, ooh, I care so much. If you want an education, almost any education is better than none. But what do I want to do?

The only thing I've done consistently for the past many years and don't totally suck at is web design. I wish I could do that for a living, especially when I see the table-laden websites that still plague the Internet in all their complicated HTML and such things but I know I can't with the limited web knowledge I have. I don't know about programming or databases and for god's sake I'M NOT GOING TO LEARN FLASH! Flash is not crutial to web design! I surely wouldn't mind knowing it but there are more important things. I hate seeing job requests for web designers or developers on craigslist and they never list anything about having to know CSS or web standards. I feel like these people are living in the in, a year or more. One normal year is a gazillion Internet years. Many Internet generations have passed in that time period.

I love music as well, but that's far from being a reasonable thing to pursue. You can't do stuff you suck at. I may have found someone to collaborate with on music, which is exciting.

Food is still the biggest stress. At least it makes me happy sometimes but I don't know if it's worth it. School never makes me happy but may not make me as depressed as food. But at some point I'll stop going to school while I can never stop eating food. Until I'm dead, at least. No wonder eating disorders and such a...disorder. Not that I have one (not diagnosable at least) but good lord, I can't let my food issues go. Thinking about them make me want to cry sometimes.

This was random. Anyway. Long live non-grain filled foods and good music.

February 6, 2005

oh well

I'm really glad I'm not deaf or else I wouldn't be able to listen to music. I could feel it if I were deaf, I guess, but I need music in the same way that some people need television. Or heroin.

My weekend has been uneventful but I had an awsome Friday. All around good from start to finish. Diana slept over the night before and we woke up nice and early. I went to the library to do a bit of studying (which didn't get very far) and then met up with Mimi for lunching. We ate at Montien, which we had never seen before but it was surprisingly good. Always nice to discover yummy places. Then we played...pool. I've never been inside a pool hall before but there are a few around NYU and Mimi goes to them somewhat frequently (somewhat frequently meaning more than once). While I beat her in the first game, I completely sucked after that. There is such a thing as beginner's luck. Of course, what I really wanted was ice cream so we headed to Ben & Jerry's for some milkshakes, making that the second time I've ever had a milkshake. The verdict: I'd much rather eat ice cream than drink it, but I got to use a spoon to scoopy up the chocolate chip and slivered almond dregs at the bottom of my cup, which was the best part (besides drinking a few hundred calories).

And then...afternoon came. Actually, it was already afternoon by the time I was shooting pool (very badly) and slurping a shake, but the funness of Friday was meeting Arthur, a guy I met on 15 megs of fame (I'm there, although I'd rather not make it too easy for you to find me since I don't update it anymore and the songs are shitty; I recommend Levy for being awesome and Arthur for being awesome). I met him outside where he works in Midtown at around 6 PM and then we went to his place in the Bronx (or just plain Bronx?).

Okay, that sounds sketchy but I'd like to believe I have good judgement. Last year I met four Internet friends and they were all awesome, as in "I can't imagine my life without you" awesome. I'm very lucky to meet so many cool people online. To sum up, one was from New Zealand (but I met her in London), another from Florida, another from Virginia, and another from New Jersey. And now I met someone from...NYC! Woo. And my best friend, Diana, started off as an Internet friend way back in 1998.

So of course, Arthur is totally cool and is one of the coolest people I have ever met. We decided to meet up because he has a drum set and...hey, I play drums! It was my first time playing drums with someone else who played guitar and I'm not sure how else to say how cool it was besides IT WAS SO COOL! We all have silly dreams and one of mine (for years) is to play in a band. So right now it seems like I'm in a two person band. Hey, it works. I kind of suck at the drums but it's one of those things you don't forget if you've done it once and you can still move your arms and legs. Arthur has a crapload of guitars, which I didn't know so I brought my acoustic with me. The music room needs some decorations, maybe I can take care of that...

And after mucking around and playing junk, we just hung out, listened to music, talked...about what I don't know but it was interesting. I didn't have to feign interest like in every conversation I have with my roommate at least (it's unfortunate but true). It's amazing that someone as shy as me can find someone that just makes me feel at ease. Anyhoo, Arthur is a wickedly good artist and his music could go somewhere...and jesus, I feel inadequate.

So even though it took me an hour or more to get home on the subway, partially because I'm a dumbass and forgot that the 2 train goes to m stop, I had a great night and a new happiness for the human race, even though a lot of it seems to be going to shit (couldn't think of another appropriate word). My life is getting a bit weird, but I can't say much about it now until things are move final. Don't worry, it's nothing life threatening. Life changing, for better or worse.

Still don't like school. I feel like I'm wasting my time not doing things I really want to do. People ask me what I want to do...well, web stuff, comic stuff, stuffed animal stuff, design stuff, music stuff. I think I have a lot of choices, although web stuff is probably the most productive thing. I'd have to learn a million other website related languages though to do that...I think. Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair. As much as I dislike my designs, I know they're better than some stuff out there that people actually get paid for, but my skills are inadequate in most work environments because I just don't know enough. I guess people don't want webmasters who only know html, css, some bits about web standards, and photoshop. Without flash, I'm nothing. Which is crap.

Oh well. Ranty. I dislike school, but I like life besides school. Kings of Convenience show on Monday should do some spirit uplifting things and I'm looking forward to March to see Doves and Levy.

Music saves me, as usual.

From Unconscious Mutterings:

  1. Shelter :: house
  2. Karate Kid :: movie
  3. Andrew :: I don't know anyone named Andrew
  4. Rib :: cage
  5. Push it :: out
  6. Creep :: Radiohead
  7. Chainlink :: fence
  8. Squash :: soup
  9. No mercy :: clothing?
  10. Superhero :: superman

January 3, 2006

this deserves an update...

I don't really update this anymore because the food blog owns my life, but when you run out of bandwidth in two days, something's up.

JESUS CHRIST, who farked my friend? I laughed so hard, I think I displaced some organs. And then I felt guilty because my friend is definitely going to kill me. But she can't because she's in Toronto and I'm in NYC. Phew. (wipes sweat off forehead)

But still. Jesus. I hope she think it's funny.

...oh, but stealing my bandwidth isn't funny at all. So I deleted the photo. I don't make any money off of my websites. I JUST KEEP LOSING IT, ACTUALLY.

I think you had enough fun messing around with the photo of my friend. HOOHA! Okay. Thanks for making me laugh. Time for sleep.

About web junk

This page contains an archive of all entries posted to in the web junk category. They are listed from oldest to newest.

travel is the previous category.

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