LOTR Archives

August 19, 2003

Hobbit Feet Are Hairy

This past Saturday my mum and I decided to watch all the Lord of the Rings stuff we had. I didn't watch everything (which included documentaries and the animated movies) but I did watch most of the extras on the entended version of The Fellowship of the Ring and it was very interesting, although my mum kept saying at certain points, "Should they be telling us how they made the whole movie?" Well I don't see the big deal, you already know it's not realy. Soooo why not find out how they made everyone the right proportions and created the Bolrog and how they applied the prosthetic Hobbit feet? I can't imagine walking around in hairy rubbery slippers that have been glued to my feet. Of course, that's not really the hardest part of being in Lord of the Rings, but ...those feet! Well, I guess the dwarf (who I never knew was actually really tall in real life) really had it bad with all the facial prosthetics...I wouldn't be able to deal with have so much stuff glued to my body.

I'm not really "into" LOTR, but it truly is such a mindblowing movie (although the goofs are taking my fun away, wah!). I know awards aren't everything, but if it doesn't get the Academy award of best movie or best director this year, then I won't understand what happened. There seemed to have been a countless number of people involved with the movie and all the time, effort and thought that had to go into it would make my head I'm glad Peter Jackson's head did not explode. Exploding heads aren't good. Not that I know from firsthand experience.

So once again I'm too late and end up posting this in the early hours of the next day. Crap, why does that happen so much? I really have to start trying to go to sleep earlier because I'm starting school soon. TOO SOON! ARRRGH! I'm not really freaking out, I'm just...I dunno. Not really dreading it, but just plain scared. WHAT IF I CAN'T FIND THE BATHROOM?! Okay, that won't happen. And speaking of bathrooms...

A few days ago I got my period (this will be related to bathrooms, trust me), which sucks, of course. I didn't think it was gone for good, but still...I thought maybe three or four times a year. I went 5 weeks without it though, which is better than the regular 4 weeks I used to deal with. Of course, it's not too bad; I get no cramps, no clots, no PMS, and a pretty light flow. But it's still a pain in the butt and the one thing that would ever make me want to be a guy. So I was thinking that in college it's going to be somewhat annoying to take a shower while having my period. I don't know about you (figuring that a female is reading this) but when I take a shower during my period I like to have the toilet next to the shower stall...okay, I hope I'm not saying too much here. Anyhoo, I'm quite sure the bathrooms aren't like that in my dorm, and the bathrooms are co-ed, which doesn't bother me that much but I guess it's another annoying thing I have to think about.

Bloop. I have bigger things to worry about than the proximity of the toilet to the shower stall. My brain has gone into "stagnant pool of muck and algae" mode and I have no idea how I'm going to learn anything. And then even if I do manage to learn anything, will I do anything good with it? My brother got a packet from his university about choosing a career since he'll be a senior this year, and everything in it freaked me out. I can't imagine going job hunting or being qualified for anything. I can be sure about one thing; I can bag dem groceries, ya! (Don't ask me why I typed it that way...that's just how it sounded in my head.)

Today I went to Ackerman's Music Center to get my guitar restrung. I literally haven't played it in months because the strings have been funky and the tuning knobs look like they're going to crack off. Anyhoo, Anthony has been talking about ways to get more people to see the site, but I'm not really familliar with submitting websites to search engines and junk like that. I put the website in a buch of music database thingies though. I showed him my Poofy shop and now he's interested in making an online shop, which I think would be a cool idea. ...but then if no one knows the site exists, it's kind of pointless. Oh well, I'm not sure if we'll be setting up the shop-a-ma-jiggy.

Speaking of my Poofy shop, I made an incredible sale today. Keep in mind that I usually make no sales. ...anyway, this one person just ordered something from me and I guess she got her package already. So she made another order today...for two small poofies, one big poofy, and two sets of buttons. Grand total: $44. Yikes! Since she's my only repeat customer and she made such a huge order, my mum said I should give her a coloring book...yeah, why didn't I think of that? So I included a coloring book and a pack of crayons. :D Right now I'm planning to leave all the money I make in my PayPal account in case I want to buy anything online...and then I won't have to wait for an echeck to go through. I ordered a t-shirt from kozy n dan with an echeck (and then the next day I ended up having enough money in my paypal account...doh) and now I'm not sure if I'll get the shirt before I go to college. Poop! Then again, I live so close to home that it doesn't really matter. I intend to use my paypal account next to get something from audiodregs; lullatone is quite nice.

I want to get back into making some kind of crappy music just because I forgot how I did it in the first place. I ...sat in front of my computer and fiddled with my guitar, mainly. I just got my Casio SK-1 and it's GREAT! The synth part is so useful (you can enter the harmonic...thingies) and all the envelopes are really cool. The porntamento thing is awesome! (I'll have to record something for you guys to listen to. I'm going to make the entied POOFYVILLE soundtrack off of this thing.) I'm a little disappointed in that I don't think the microphone on mine works, but I wasn't planning to use it anyway. It can only record 1.4 seconds and I guess that wouldn't be very useful, but I wanted to try it out. Anyway, with the synth thing you can program the keyboard to sound like anything! Kinda. Also, there's an entire recording aspect of the keyboard in stuff. I don't see myself having any use for it considering as soon as I turn off the keyboard all my stuff would be lost and I don't intend to leave it on forever. And recording stuff was annoying as hell. Overall....very, very fun instrument/toy for less than $50.

Now I'm going to have a long rant, so...brace yourself. :P Sometime last week my dad said he was trying to book a ticket home from Taiwan so that he could be around to see my brother and I off to college. This is the last thing I want; life is much easier without my dad around. And it's HIS CHOICE to be in Taiwan, so it would be a real big waste of money to come back, not to mention that neither my brother, mum or I want to see him here. It's difficult for me to explain my family's relationship with my dad because I have nothing else to compare it to, but this is how we are. My dad spends most of the time in Taiwan (he retired a few years ago, yet sometimes he still claims he works. He tells some people he's retired and will tell others that he's not. ...I could go on and on.) and comes back to the US sometimes because he feels obligated to, or something. Of course, it's a bunch of crap because if he really wanted to stay here (I think part of the reason he has to stay in Taiwan is because he has to manage the property that his dad owns, and you have to do all that junk in person in Taiwan) as part of a "parental responsibility" then he would.

I told him that there wasn't much reason for him to come back (he hasn't been able to book a ticket because it's all full; he's waiting for something to open up) and that basically, he shouldn't. This is the reply he wrote to me. The way he wrote his e-mail is pretty much how he speaks in real life, except in real life he speaks really slowly (he's condescending, although I don't know if he knows it...probably because in the workplace he has always directed his coworkers) so e-mail is slightly easier to understand:

Dear Robyn, Thank you for telling your real feeling and opinion.

I guess parents normally would like to be around the children, and feel the resposibility to be available when possible, in particular when the children approach a new stage of their lives.Parents have the instinct or urge to give advice, although they are not always helpful and in most of the time, they can easily go overboard. No matter what, the intentions are mostly for the good and love for the children with the hope that the interaction will make the children better prepared for the challenge ahead.

This may not be an easy phase for both parents and children. I do hope any people at this stage can do their best, have an open mind and patience to listen, understand(tolorate) and appreciate each other no matter how difficult it might be.

Hope you have a wonderful week at home before going to school.


Does anyone find the wording of the e-mail annoying? It might just annoy me because this is the kind of stuff I've had to listen to my entire life, but it truly is. He makes things extremely wordy without every getting to the point. And he always talks about this "tolerance" thing, as though we are obligated to appreciate each other no matter what just because we're related. The problem is that he doesn't realize he's the one without the open mind or willingness to change. My mum can bear witness to that for being married the past 20-something years. I feel bad for her although at the same time I wonder what she was thinking when she married him. She said that she thought he'd change, but instead he didn't and just ended up more like his parents.

Anyway, I just hope my dad still isn't thinking about coming back because I only have about a week left before I have to go to college and I'd like it to be as stress free as possible. Obviously my dad wasn't planning to come back, and a few months ago he asked me if I'd rather he come for my high school graduation or to see me off to college. I figured if he had to be at one, graduation would be easier to deal with. So he did come to my graduation, and that's all I expected. No more.

I have some last things to mention along with pictures to show you. Today I got my (drumroll) LOST MONSTER and it is sooo cute! And it comes with a little buddy monster! The little mosnter JINGLES! I KID YOU NOT! Maybe I should make a line og "jingling Poofies"...HAHA! Okay, no. Here are some photos of the monsters meeting a Poofy! And here's me with the monsters. I AM A NEW MUM!

Yesterday I made a few things, one thing early in the morning and one thing late at night (either way, the sun wasn't out anymore, hehe). I made a Bork shirt like I've been planning forever yet never actually did. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but I think it took 2 - 3 hours to make. ....which isn't that long, but still, it's not something I'd do a lot. Obviously, a Poofy applique shirt would be really easy. :) Bork is the hardest one, which is why I wanted to do it! The other thing I made, I took a photo of, but I don't want to post it because it's something I made for Diana and I want it to be a surprise! ;) Although now I might be building up suspense for nothing. At least this time I'll get to give it to her in person because the BRMC handbag that I made for her got lost in the mail. :( The only time I ever lost anything in the mail was when I sent stuff to Argentina; I wouldn't expect sending something the next state over would get lost!

Last thing: is the Site of the Day (yesterday) at All Things Kawaii! Yaay! :D And I think that website moderator must have looked at my links page because she added some links to her directory that I had put on my page. That makes me happy! MORE CUTE THINGS FOR EVERYONE BWAHAHAHA! Rate my site while you're at it, okee? :)

--- comment replies! ---

Peaches are good for passing outta my intestines? WEEE! I'm glad cos I've been eating them like some peach monster lately....a peach eating monster, I mean. Not a mutated peach with teeth or something.

Peaches (and plums ) = LUUUUV!

I guess I should put a thingy at /blog saying my page moved. Actually I can just make it redirect to the index page. I SHALL GO DO THAT! Yes. :D

Seeing the blackout from space would have been interesting if it really did just look like half of the continent got wiped out....


January 11, 2004

You Can't Tig on a Tog

It's too bad that the Tig Fanlisting isn't accepting any new members. There are just too many tig lovers, dammit! I just watched the commentary for LOTR: FOTR and that was definitely one of the funniest bits.

I've been searching for fanlistings just because I haven't really been in any. Now I'm starting to rack up loads of little icons to further make look like a dump. Hoo-yeah! Or maybe it gives the page personality. Actually, I just wanted to have the icon of the bunny butt. I'm not sure where I'm going with the site yet, but with the plan I have in my head at the moment, I'm going to have to redo pretty much all my pages and add some other junk. This doesn't sound like a very pleasant task, so perhaps I'll some tig!

So this is what I'm doing in the last moments of my vacation. I have a week left, during which I'll either do nothing, or I'll prepare my NYU application. Yeah, I really ought to start that thing. I remember what a relief it was at the end of 2002 to be finished with all my applications (and subsequently be rejected from half of the places I applied to, woo!). Applications are even more annoying for transfers. I'll have to go to my high school and have that transcript sent out, and then I'll need my standardized test scores too. Oh yeah, I'll need recommendations too, lovely! I was looking at a book about colleges and it said that four history classes from high school are required. Well, I didn't do this, but I don't imagine that they'd outright reject me based on that. One annoying thing about NYU (or most unis/colleges) is that there are a number of core curriculum classes. Luckily, I'll have fulfilled most of these by the end of my freshman year, but one US history class and a non-US history class are required, neither of which I have much interest in taking. Non-US history, perhaps, but US history bored me out of my skull. *sigh* I hope I'm doing the right thing by applying to NYU (to become a nutritionist), but then again there's no guarantee that I'll get in. They rejected me before, which was pretty disheartening. They say they don't take into account what school you're coming from as a transfer, and not that Vassar is an extremely difficult school, but is it on par with a community college? Then again, if I went to a community college, I'd like to have the same chance of getting in as a transfer based on my effort as anyone else.

While I definitely could have tried harder this past semester, I'm pretty happy with my grades. I got an A in Japanese (my teacher must have curved the final), a B+ in Astronomy (my teacher must have curved the final by 50 points) and Bs in Cultural Anthropology and English (no surprise there). I was worried that my grades wouldn't even be good enough for me to apply to NYU, who recomments a B+ to A- average. I'm toward the lower rung of the ladder, but it's not too bad. ...god, I do NOT want to fill out any more applications. It's on the floor right next to me at the moment, and it's saying, "Even thought I'm just some mashed up, flattened tree-pulp, I will make your life miserable."

Would you like to make my life less miserable? PRE-ORDER A POOFY T-SHIRT! So far I have five orders, so I only need 20 more, ie 400%. ...which is kind of a lot when I look at it that way. Help make Poofy t-shirts become a reality! Make the world a better place! (Those two last statements aren't necessarily related.)

This week I went to NYC a few times and probably gained a few pounds (which is a reason why I shouldn't live in NYC, but my default I'd have to walk a lot more than I am now). I went on Wednesday with my mum to go to a transfers meeting at NYU and it was pretty nice, although a bit discouraging because it made me feel like I wasn't qualified. Heck, I don't feel qualified for ANYTHING. I've thought about this, and it's not just a factor of modesty or low self-esteem; I really don't believe I'm good at much. I know people tell me that I am, and I'm very grateful for such praise, but at the end of the day my head fills with thoughts such as, "Well you're really screwed when you get out of school because you won't be qualified to do anything," or "You're dehydrated," which is a totally different thought, but my brain is stupid and doesn't tell me when I need to drink water. Actually, my body is telling me something right now; I must take a leak.


Anyway. I bought some new underwear (because I suppose you should do that every once in a while, although my mum had to remind me) and they feel a bit odd. Maybe they're supposed to make your crotch feel weird. THANKS JC PENNEY. I think that's the first or second time I've ever bought anything from that store before. I also bought new socks from Nordstrom; I never knew they sold so many socks before. I bought some knee-highs, which I've just discovered can keep your legs really warm, although I must be really short because they go past my knees. I also looked at some Super Lucky Cat stuff because it's generally stuff that, in theory, you could make on your own. I figured I wouldn't have been allowed to take photos of the clothes, although I could have taken it into the dressing room and snapped away. Having to rely on my own memory definitely does NOT work. All I can really recall is that I saw skirts and...they were made of stuff. About as helpful as watering toast (which just doesn't make sense).

Back to NYU. It was bitterly cold, so my mum and I didn't stick around NYC as long as we would have liked to. We got to see the library and a dorm room, which looked loads nicer than what I'm in now. How could dorms in Poughkeepsie be smaller than dorms in NYC? It doesn't seem to be fair, but then again, my dorm costs are thousands less than at NYU. Dorms at NYU have the added bonus of getting their own bathroom and not having to bunk their beds. Of course, what I'd REALLY like to know is what they're classes are like and whether I can actually do well in them. Ehhhhhh.

Mum and I went to Life Thyme, which will be the death of me if I live in NYC because they have the best raw food entrees and desserts I've ever had in my entire life. They're also the least expensive ones I've ever seen. Definitely try places like Quintessence at least once, but then just go to Life Thyme (Sixth Ave between 8th and 9th Street). They put soy lecithin in some of their stuff, which I'm not sure is good or not. It probably isn't that harmful, at least. They're desserts are unlike anything I've ever tasted before, and my favorite is the spirulina earth pie. MM, algae is tasty, I tell you. :) They also hav ea good variety of raw food snacks, some of which are cheaper than High Vibe, which is already less expensive than Live Live. High Vibe still has the widest selection, though.

I wish there was a website where people rated all the raw food places. There are enough of them to actually have choices on where to go, but not too many that you wouldn't be able to visit all of them. Maybe I should start a site! Ooh...*scratches head*...I certainly have an array of photos to share.

I also went to NYC on Friday with Cristen and her friend Mary, who goes to NYU. We went to Life Thyme where I picked up some raw pizza and slices of pie to bring home, along with some really good dried mango. We went to a nice pet shop (the nicest I've ever seen, at least, but I've only seen the ones in malls) with really adorable, although semi-psychotic dogs. One was a dalmation that kept whining when the other animals were out of their cages. He/She hawked a loogie too. Hm. Pleasant! There was another white dog who's quest was to eat the layers of paper lining his cage. Really, this little guy kept ripping away at the paper and trying to eat the cage itself. And there was another dog who was sleeping and kept twitching and fidgeting...must have been dreaming. There were some cute cats as well, which I'd love to take home. Actually, what I'd really like is a small bunny, but other than that, kittens would be nice too.

We visted Mary's dorm, which was even nicer than the one I saw on the tour. The view from her window was of the backside of a brick building, but she said other rooms had nice views. :D

Last night I made a new scarf. It looks pretty scraggly, but it only took a few hours...HOURS THAT I WILL NEVER GET BACK! MY LIFE IS A FAILURE! *sob* Erm. Anyway! I messed up because each of my rows was one stitch shorter than the one before, but I couldn't really tell because I was doing it lengthwise (so it's made of five really long rows, two alternating colors, done in double crochet). Eh well, still good. I haven't gotten to use it yet though because I stayed inside ALL DAY today. Oo.

OH CRAP, my laundry is sitting in the dryer! I need to go get that!

And...lastly, Rufus is playing at Vassar on Valentine's Day! Man, if I had known that when I met him, I would have said something. Or not. I already decided I wasn't going to the Beacon Theater show the night before. OH MAN, I need to give him a Poofy! OH MAN! AHH RUFUS! AHH! Okay, I'm done freaking out.

January 12, 2004

*smashes keyboard*

I like Movable Type, I really do. But when it makes stuff not work, I go into "keyboard smashie" mode, which doesn't really mean anything because I wouldn't dare do anything to physically damage this precious laptop. So I just sit here and get frustrated.

I very easily transferred all my entries from my other site, which was great. For some reason it messed up and gave me this extra blank entry with just an old comment. However, the comment is relevant: this is my free webhosting and so far it's working fine! The only "catch" (which isn't really a catch) is that you can't change the nameservers on any domain names registered on 1&1. It's the cheapest registration I've ever seen, so I wanted to check that out. I currently use Hostway to manage 5 domain names.

Can anyone tell me if the scrollbar in this frame is green? It's SUPPOSED to be! I can't figure out for the life of me why it wouldn't be green, but for me it's the sucky Windows XP scroll bar. Go away, you don't fit in with my color scheme! :(

I've been downloading loads of random LOTR cast video clips from here. Hobbity goodness, mmyes! I am really going to start reading The Fellowship of the Ring. Really. Or I'll just crack it open and read a few words. Like the table of contents... ...nono, I REALLY must read this book. It's just that the last time I read a book of similar length, it was in 9th grade for an English project. I procrastinated and had to read half of the book in one weekend. Bad idea. Do not do this. Ever.

I'm starting to get a little frightened by the people who are REALLY obsessed with LOTR cast members. One of the funniest LJ communities is LOTR Boys Daily, in which people are supposed to post hot photos of the guys about a bagillion times a day. Some of these photos are just really funny. I could spend a bit of time looking through them...MWAHAHAHA!

Oo, TTT won for Best Dramatic Movie at the People's Choice Awards. I didn't know there even was a People's Choice Awards. Billy was the only one there to accept...SO HAPPY! :)

Crap, I'm tired. Time to sleep!

January 17, 2004

I'm not that into LOTR, am I?

I took a nap today. Naps are BAD! I woke up at 12:30 PM-ish, ate, filled out a bit of my NYU application, tootled around doing nothing, read some of The Fellowship of the Ring (which I must say I'm enjoying so far), took a nap, woke up...basically I wasted my day away. I HAVE to write my essays for my application. Altogether the two of them will probably be shorter than one of my average blog entries, but I don't know if I can whip them up as quickly. Probably not. It should be easy for me to talk about why I want to transfer and why I'm into health and junk, but I'm not sure what to do about my other essay, the "creative" one. Or pseudo-creative.

You know, I can't write well at all. I was looking at some old journal I had to write for 9th grade and one of the entires was about what I wanted to have as a career. At that time I said I had thought about being a writer, but decided I wanted to do something with music. Of course, now I'm quite sure I'll never work in a music-related field. Can I really work in nutrition? Sometimes I think it'd be easier to kill myself and be done with it, but that's just a really bad idea (hey, I know that much!).

I was rifling through my folder of college-related junk and came upon my SAT and ACT scores. I think my ACT score is messed up. ...yeah, that's all I'm going to say.

I obviously haven't been doing much in the past five days, or else I would have wrote earlier. Now that I think about it, what have I been doing? Just dreading going back to school I guess. It's not that I don't like my school, but I wouldn't want to go back to any school. I like being at home and not having to care about anything. I find it strange that some people really want school to start again, but I guess I'm one of those weirdos that would much rather stay home. I mean, today I stayed home all day and I've been fine with that, besides the lack of fresh oxygen. Are people really that bored staying at home? Isn't there always something to do? I really didn't get as much done as I could have (I was planning to redesign bits of evenmagnet and add some content but I never did, and I was planning to write more Poofy comics but...I didn't) and my vacation was pretty long. Crap, I'm really lazy.

I DID finally put up my new batch of Poofies though! And I've already sold four of them, although that's pretty much to people I know in real life. My mum bought one for her friend's granddaughter, my brother bought one for his friend's birthday, and my brother's friend bought two for himself and his mum. Isn't that nice? :) I have 12 Poofy t-shirt preorders so far, so if you can please tell people to order! I'd like another 13 orders before actually placing my order. So far pretty much all the orders are for different colors, which should make things interesting when I actually place my order...

Last night my mum and I saw The Return of the King again. It was my third time and her fourth. No, we're not obsessed at all. :) I was getting pretty tired about halfway through the movie, but by the end I was awake again. It would have been awful if I had fallen asleep, eh? I'm not sure what my favorite movie of the triology is. Even though the third one is the movie that really got me into LOTR, I'm not sure if it's my favorite or if it's the best of the three. There are a bunch of little things in ROTK that bother me, like some of the characters don't seem very well developed, some of the cg stuff doesn't look that great (while some other cg characters, mainly Shelob, look really good; I'd think arachnaphobes would nearly die watching that scene), and I swear Aragorn has a weird accent. However, I'm sure that the extended version (clocking in at 7 hours) will fill in some of the gaps and all will merry (and Pippin...bwahaha).

I didn't realize how many extras were on the regular version of the Two Towers DVD, so I watch some of that the other day. The Long and Short of It was a cute little movie, although I think the "making of" segment may have been longer than the movie itself. Andy Serkis was pretty funny, as he talked about climbing up the production ladder, from being a part of traffic control to something more substantial, but then deciding he'd rather just put cones on the road after all. Speaking of Andy Serkis, I had no idea he was in 24 Hour Party People as that scary producer guy. Then again, my head was all over the place when I watched that movie as it made me deathly nauseous (Diana can back me up here). And...still going on about Andy, I just read Gollum and it was a very interesting read. First off, my mum had trouble even finding it in a store because we saw a whole bunch of them at Barnes and Noble one day, and then...they were all gone! At a different B&N, there was only one dog-eared copy left. Other places didn't have it at all. We finally found it at a less-frequented Waldenbooks. If you're interested in Gollum or Andy at all, you definitely need this book. I didn't think I was that interested, but I became more interested after reading it. It sounded a bit isolating at times to have to play Gollum, and overall he only worked with four other main actors.

Oh, another special LOTR find happened this week. My mum and I have been looking for LOTR calendars for 2004, and nearly all of them are sold out. I don't even recall ever seeing them in stores, although during the summer I wasn't that interested in LOTR or buying a calendar. However, my mum eventually found Staples! I figured that there must be calendars SOMEWHERE, and I guess people don't think of Staples as the place to buy calendars. Lucky us! So now I have a Two Towers calendar. My mum only bought one, but if she had gotten more (they were $10 each) she could definitely resell them!

Man, this entry is really LOTR-centric. What else have I been doing? AHH! I haven't been getting together with any of my friends or going anywhere very special. That might sound sad, but...well, maybe it is. How can 24 hours go by so quickly?

I ought to start my NYU essay(s) now. If you'd like to see an interesting video about food and agribusiness, click here. I find these issues very interesting...I hope you do too.

January 20, 2004

Back to school to prove to dad that I'm not a fool

As soon as the phrase "back to school" popped into my head, Billy Madison's voice also wormed its way in there. How warped is my mind? I've seen the movie a fair amount of times, although it doesn't compare to Happy Gilmore, which I must have seen...*counts on fingers*...too many times.

Well, I'm back at school. How is it so far? It's okay, but the dislike is growing. My biggest peeve is that in my little end of the hallway there is a large amount of noise going on in the middle of the night. Then again, maybe I was trying to go to bed too early. It probably took me two hours to fall asleep last night/this morning and while I was trying to focus on sleeping I was also thinking, "Well now here's something I don't like about Vassar." Of course, by putting things in perspective I can see that not being able to fall asleep is a very minor problem considering what other things could be happening to me, like being sued by Microsoft or getting stuck in a chimney. Last night I did think about jumping out the window though because three stories up, it wasn't likely to be fatal (actually, maybe it would), but it would probably knock me out so I could GO TO SLEEP.

If you ever want to lighten your mood, just listen to the song Half Fling. You can download it at the bottom of that page, or you can buy this CD. I think I'll just listen to this song though. By itself, it would seen pretty odd, scary maybe, but knowing it's Elijah and Dom just makes it funny. Kind of.

Today I got to put up my 2004 The Two Towers Calendar. I'll have to wait until August to see Merry and Pippin sitting on Treebeard though. Right now I'm looking at Frodo in his "staring-into-space" mode that he has in pretty much all the movies. He doesn't seem that spacey in the book in my opinion. I've gotten to the part in the book where all the hobbits got captured by know, I just can't remember these names. They were all put in white robe-things and had swords and jewelry or something? And then Frodo summoned Tom Bombadil and he saved everyone. I could be totally wrong here. I didn't really bother to remember the names of all the characters in the movies until after seeing ROTK.

If my brain can't handle the first 200 pages of FOTR (less than that, actually), then I have no idea how I'm going to function when classes start. That's TOMORROW, by the way. I've got all my books and I've cleared out my old binders to make room for more funtastic note taking and suffering! YES! I know classes aren't that bad (high school was worse), one really likes going to class, right? Yup. If you do, then I'm sorry to're just a freak of nature. Ask your parents; they'd know.

Okay, that's harsh. If there's one thing I'm sure I like about this school it's that my teachers are good and classes are not unbearably mindnumbing, at least not in the sense that I feel like I'm getting stupider. I usually feel like everyone else is smarter and that I was admitted into Vassar by mistake (I still kind of think this). I decided not to switch my biology class to chemistry as I had originally planned because chemistry just takes up too much time. Not counting the lab, it's 150 a week and it's only worth one credit. Biology is 75 minutes a week and is also worth one credit. I don't know why...the math seems a bit iffy, eh? If chemistry were worth more, I'd be more inclined to take it. I am switching from anthropology to psychology though. Hopefully already having taken a psychology class will help me just a bit, even though that class was really easy and this probably won't be. I read that psychology is something you should take if you want to go into nutrition. I remember learning last year about associated certain feelings with food...well, of course people do that, right? Or certain activities just go with food, like seeing a movie and getting popcorn even if you're not hungry. Those are obvious things though.

My roommate got back today before noon, which was good because I actually got up before noon. Yesterday I rolled out of bed (not literally or else I'd crash to the floor and probably break something) at around 12:30 PM after going to bed at 10 PM the night before (and waking up a lot during the night because of all the noise outside my room). Now I'm not all alone! Then again, I'm pretty good at being alone. It's nice and quiet when no one else is around (besides the heaters making ungodly noises during the night and day). I don't mind when other people are in the room, but it can get distracting. If I lived alone I'd probably never have people in my room, which is a reason for me to either always have a roommate or to transfer. If I transfer to NYU I'll have a roommate anyway....

I haven't told anyone here about my plan to transfer to NYU yet. I figure if I get in I'll just send out a mass e-mail ("mass" being less than 10 people...har har). I'll have to tell ONE of my teachers though so that she can write a recommendation for me. No biggie.

I think a bunch of people are going out to eat dinner now. That's my cue to eat my dinner...oranges! Mm. I thought I'd try to fast, but neh, I'd rather not. It's easy for me to gain and lose weight, but losing is harder just because in my opinion (and others, I'm sure), it's hard to decrease the amount of food you eat. Yesterday I had some clementines, an orange, and a grapefruit. That sounds safe, eh?

Today I got some exciting mail! (REAL mail, not e-mail...e-mail tends to score lower on the excitment scale, but it's still good.) I got a great package from Linda with some cute stickers, a Bjork single for Hunter, and a little plush penguin! Linda gets a BIG HUG! *squishm* Emily sent me an adorable postcard with lots of cute bunnies on it. ANOTHER SQUISHM! I also got some clothes I bought from someone on livejournal that I requested more than a month ago, but hey, better late than never. :) I got a skirt and a zip-up hoodie. I definitely have to stop buying clothes. I KNOW I don't need any more, so what's wrong with me? Two days ago I went to Delias with my mum and I got a really nice pair of pants and a cute shirt because they're having a massive sale at the moment. Those damn sales! I got some other things too because my mum brought them to me today. She had to drive up here to drop off my passport, which I needed to fill out some work papers. I'm very lucky to have such a nice mum, especially since she just started the Ejuva cleanse. Thanks, mum!

Now I'm all alone in my room. What will I do now? READ! Yes. I'm a nerd.

January 24, 2004

They finally left Bree

I'm still reading FOTR...well, it's kind of long. The first time I saw the movie I remember thinking it was very long and a bit slow, but now I feel like it's the book on fast-forward with big chunks cut out. I don't mean the book is a poor interpretation of the book, but it's interesting to see what had to be changed and cut out. The book doesn't feel slow to me, or else I probably would have stopped reading it by now.

So I'm bad at home after my first week of classes (really just three days) and I am very happy in the sense that I'm here and not at school. In the other sense, I feel like crap, but I ought to count my blessings. First I'll try to remember what's happened since classes started...

Wednesday. I had Japanese and music theory. Japanese is okay since it's just a continuation of last year's class. Music theory looks like it'll be incredibly boring, but I can't really tell yet. One thing that I do know is that if I didn't already know how to read music semi-decently, I'd be totally screwed. My teacher seems nice, but incredibly boring. Aren't music teachers supposed to be strange and eccentric? Nearly all of mine have been, except for my piano teachers... ...oh wait, this guy is a pianist. Is that it? Obviously my regular band teachers and non-piano teachers knew how to play the piano also, but maybe people who primarily play piano just aren't that interesting. I'm talking to myself now, sorry.

Thursday. I had a 9 AM class for psychology, which I added to my schedule to replace anthropology (human origins) because it didn't fit into my schedule as well as I thought it did. I like my teacher, so that class seems all good except that the room is in the basement of an impossible-to-navigate building. I swear it was built as a joke. If there weren't signs everywhere saying where the classes were, I would have been completely lost. I also had Japanese, which was okay as usual. I went to the Media Cloisters to see what I had to do as my job, and I'm still totally clueless even after talking to some people who worked there (well, they were saying stuff to me and I just...listened). Now I'm thinking that I'm way over my head and I should have never applied for a job there. I should have never made a website on the school server because then none of this would have happened. Now I think that I really have no skills and I'm not qualified to be there. Someone asked me if I knew CSS and...well, I use it, but other than that I'd say I know very little. I usually let Dreamweaver do all the work for me. And I still don't understand what I'm doing there. Later I had a meeting with my Japanese teacher, who just wanted to catch up on things with all the students by asking us what we did over vacation and how we're doing so far. I basically screwed that up big time since I suck at Japanese. I got my final back and I didn't even do very well on it, so I have no idea how I got a good grade overall. Luck, I suppose. I just learned how to say luck in Japanese, but I forgot...

Friday. Another 9 AM class for biology. Boy, am I screwed. Now I have to rethink whether I can actually be a nutritionist or not, because if I can't even get through bio, there really isn't any point. My teacher seems nice, at least, and I do know someone in the class. Hopefully we can be lab partners. At the end of the class the teacher asked us to write down what we knew about meiosis and mitosis and I remembered absolutely nothing besides a few weird diagrams I drew in 9th grade (which was the last time I took bio). After that I had Japanese. And then....and then...I GOT TO COME HOME!

Since then I haven't done much besides decide that living is not my thing. It's not like I'm a suicidal depressive maniac, but maybe I'm just a composed suicidal something-or-other? I've been thinking about what I could possibly do with my life and nothing is coming to mind. Even my mum said that I'm strange (not really saying the word "strange", but...anyway) and that I remind her of someone she used to know from college who ended up killing her children. Okay, thanks! I love my mum, of course, but she can say pretty funny things. HAHA! She asked me why I don't think I can do anything...well, I honestly don't see much evidence that I can do much. I'm not really that good at anything.

My plan was to transfer (well, APPLY to transfer) to NYU so I can be in a nutritional program, but after spending a few hours reading my bio book for homework (and spending way too much time on the homework, which was just about allelle stuff...the stuff that everyone's done. I don't understand what "epistasis" is, and that's some kind of question I have to answer) because I read incredibly slowly, and it just made me sad. None of it makes sense to me. My mum, the bio major (and she did bio in grad school) doesn't understand how biology can be hard. "You just have to memorize lots of stuff." She says that she could never do very mathematical stuff though, which I find...well, not EASY, but not impossible. Except for physics. Anyway, I was a poor bio student in 9th grade and I guess not much has changed in four years except that it'll be even harder to understand now.

So...I might not transfer to NYU after all. But then where does that leave me here? I don't think I would be very happy at ANY college. What makes college life enjoyable? Is it the freedom thing? Because I don't really care. I had freedom at home. The difference now is that I'm stuck inside a school campus all day because there isn't anyplace around school that I really want to go to, and there aren't any people I desperately want to hang out with. It's surprising at all that I have friends, but I think I could count them on one hand. But that's not the issue...the thing is, now that it's the second semester, I truly think that there aren't any people here I can relate to. There are few people in the world I can relate to, actually.

What is good about college life? I'm really asking, so give me some answers. I can tell you the things I don't like to do: go to parties, watch movies (I like some movies, but overall I'm not a big movie fan), "hang out" and talk (I don't know the last time I did this...middle school?), drink alcohol, watch TV, and I'm sure the list would go on if people gave me suggestions. I DO like discovering new places in NYC or visiting places that I like and going to concerts. If I didn't like music, I'd probably never go anywhere, so thank god for that. I probably sound really boring right now.

In the end, I'm sure it's all my fault. It's my personality to be boring; however, I'm not actually bored. There are loads of things I like to do, but they don't require the presence of another person. I was hoping to do something this weekend, but I stayed inside all day today (still in my pjs) as my mum is sick and I had lots of homework anyway. Actually, it just takes me a really long time to do homework that a normal person could probably do more quickly. Being lonely is kind of annoying, but not a big deal. If I really had problems with it, it would show.

I guess a strange thing (or not) is that my ...uh... strangeness doesn't show. I can stay in my dorm room all day, but I don't appear very strange (at least that's what I hope). People probably don't know how little I think of myself. I guess I don't have any drive to do anything. I don't have any real goals. The nutritionist thing would have been cool, except I don't have a science-mind, I guess. I don't have a literary mind either. I'm sure this entry has been written very poorly. ENGLISH IS MY FIRST LANGUAGE, if you can't tell. Actually, it's my only language. No, I don't know Chinese and I never will!

I'm glad I'm at home because I got my period yesterday, which is 3 - 4 days early. I haven't gotten my period early in a long time; it tends to come late. What does this mean? I have no idea. I've eaten way too much this weekend since I spent the four days before I came home just eating citrus. It was okay, but by the time I was able to buy some nuts and dried fruit, I was eating pretty much everything. I have no idea what's up with my body and hunger. I can easily NOT eat a lot, but only if there happens to be no food around, just because I'd be too lazy to buy more. And even though I know I'm much better off now eating mainly raw food (I cheat when I eat Govinda bars, which are partially raw and partially not...yeah, screw me) instead of cooked, but mentally, I don't feel that great. I know my period would entail more suffering if I ate cooked food and that I'd probably have worse allergies and get sick more, but I guess my personality just sucks.

Doodeedoo...I think I'd be better off just going to a business or vocational school than a four-year college. I know that may not be the most ... ... crap, I can't even think of the word. Something in the vein of "not that highly regarded." But I'd rather know something practical that stuff that will make me well-rounded, or whatever it is that college is supposed to do to me. On Friday I got a survey from Dover Business College and I really don't think I'd mind going into computer programming/web design and then just getting a job. The thing is, in a way only smart and not smart (I don't want to say "dumb" because...that's just not true) people can not go to a regular four-year college. Or something. Ish. Okay, that's not conclusive, but you know what I mean, hopefully. And I'm not really either. At least I don't think my parents would be happy with that, especially my mum who comes from a scholarly family. I keep forgetting that her dad was a language professor. She must be really used to...intellectual things. She wouldn't be happy living a carefree life in a little tropical place with a farm or something like that, but I wouldn't mind.

The main question in my head that no one can answer is what could I possibly do with my life. I've been led to believe that it'd be easier if I just died, because then I wouldn't have to think about it. Honestly, what better thing is there to do? For the most part, I've been feeling tired all the time since school has started. And now I'm hungry...stupid digestive system. And I still have to take notes for psychology on a chapter that will never end at the rate that I'm going. I'm not necessaril sad or depressed or happy, but I can't think of the right word... ... ...oh well, nevermind that. My Weatherbug says that it's 6 degrees outside.

I didn't get any fresh air today.

Actually, I change my mind from that other paragraph; I am sad.

Actually, I can control that by reading, which sets me back in neutral mode.

...oo, the Elijah Wood episode of SNL is on tonight? Maybe that'll make me feel a bit better, even though I don't like SNL. Or television. ... ...or maybe it won't. Hm.

... ... alright, I'm done now.

January 28, 2004

Everything Smells Like Oranges

Everything smells like oranges because I keep eating oranges and getting orange pee on everything. It's all over my hands...OH GOD WHY?

So I've been eating! Always a good thing. I over-ate at home this past weekend so I've been cutting down at school, although not really. I was too lazy and miserable to buy food on Monday, so yesterday I pretty much ate everything (everything being oranges, apples, and pears). Sandy can attest to the fact that I kept eating despite saying, "Okay, I'll stop eating." 12 pieces of fruit later (5 oranges, 5 apples, 2 pears), I ended up losing weight anyway. So there's one way to lose weight and stuff yourself silly. I'm sure that I eat too fast because my stomach region felt a bit odd while I was eating today (actually, "eating" isn't the right word...maybe "inhaling" would work), so I'm probably gain weight tomorrow. But hey! It's fruit! And despite it all being just fruit!, I still get gas. DIGESTIVE SYSTEM = SUCKWAD.

I feel a bit better since my last entry (heck, i feel better since yesterday), but I really think I have the opposite of the Midas touch. Like the anti-Midas touch. Yes. Everything I touch turns into crap. Or if I try to make something, it turns into crap. I really don't like any of the websites I've made. I know they're not the worst pieces of crap on earth (websites that sucks is a great place to visit; this is truly god-awful), but they're not very good, by my standards. In a way I have really low standards so I don't disappoint myself too much, but in other ways my standards are unattainable. There is NO way I will ever make a website that I really, really like. They'll either be so bad that I have to change the layout every once in a while or stay there and make me feel like my website is a terrible burden to the world, including those people without the ability of sight, which is pretty bad. Their other senses are probably heightened...they can SMELL my website. Smells like sweaty socks.

I am strange. I'm sorry. By the way, a whale exploded. That's what I get for leaving Taiwan; they start exploding whales left and right!

For some other random news, ROTK got 11 Oscar nominations (I don't know why I'm linking to the BBC about Oscar noms...but I am)! And you know it's going to win best picture and director, because if it doesn't people will probably riot in the streets and set buildings on fire and eat babies and, you know, typical angry-people things.

[random digression: I'm going to change into my pjs, because they're more comfortable, which makes me wonder why I don't just wear pjs all day long.]

So yeah, I still suck, but I can face that. I CAN! And I think I'll try to go into "food studies" rather than be a nutritionist/dietician. I guess food studies is for people who are interested in food but not very science-oriented. The thing is, all throughout high school the only classes I took advanced levels in were math and science. But I still suck at them. It's just one of those funny Robyn things. So laugh! Ha ha! Oh, all that laughing is making my tummy ache. Or maybe it was that pear I ate. Probably a mixture of the two.

Graphic designers, I need your help. I spent a few hours fiddling around while "working" (occupation: professional fiddling in the media cloisters to make a poster for an upcoming lecture. And this is all I got (here is another possiblity; I do love photoshop and how easy it makes it to change hues). Sorry it looks like crap, but I had to stare at it for about 3 hours in various stages (it looked so much better in my head, but I guess this is why real designers probably draw stuff out first instead of relying on random firing between neurons). Anyway, this is a lot worse that posters I've seen around campus and I don't wanna eff-up my first project (I don't swear...well, kind of), so any suggestions would be great. Like "hit ctrl+a and then del" would be okay. Maybe. My main problem is with the title of the lecture; I didn't know how to make it stand out. But the shadowing doesn't fit in very well with the other type, which isn't shadowed. And there are only so many colors I can use. And and and. ...Damn, I still have gas.

[Don't you wish I went back to being all depressed and stupid? How do you deal with me talking about my digestion?]

I need to get the new Air album soon. Maybe this weekend? You can see their new music video on their site, and since it's got some porn, it's probably the only place you'll be able to see it. Good song.

My music class is getting a bit more interesting. My teacher still seems a bit odd, but that's okay. At least he knows what he's talking about. I'm surprised I was even able to grasp music theory when I was little. I still can't immediately recognize all the notes (mainly when they're really high or low), but I'm getting there.

I had my first bio lab yesterday and it went okay. It wasn't actually four hours long, for one thing. GOOD. The lab was to test six strains of white clover plants and test them to see if they are cyanogenic or not. Which reminds me, I have to actually figure out which plants were cyanogenic. Mm, cyanide. I used to like the faint taste of cyanide in almonds, but then I had some bad experiences with almonds that had too much cyanide. Those tasted beyond disgusting. *shudders*

Oh, I can't believe I didn't say this yet: thank you ALL for your great comments and what-not. Even if you didn't leave a comment, you are cool anyway. Because you're reading this. Actually, that probably makes you less cool, but...I still luv yous. Yup. Even if I don't have any good friends here that I can be totally comfortable around, that's okay. ...I might change my mind about that later.

Actually, I've realized that I'm really, really strange. Why can't I be more personable? I swear that I'm not THAT sucktastic, but when I speak to people that I don't know well (and some that I do), I sound...well, I think I may sound uninterested or spacey or "meh". I don't like how to change this, so I suppose it's just the way I am. It's not like I can go, "HEY AHH HOOHA!" because then people would think I'm psychotic, and I guess that's worse than seeming flat and tired.

Wow, I haven't been doing homework. I really should be doing that. Hohum.

And now...I must pee. I'll be home in two days, so that's something to look forward to.

UPDATE: Here's a newer version of the poster. Better?

February 29, 2004

LOTR Madness!

Happy February 29th! How did you spend your leap-year-day? I spent all day inside my room. And the bathroom. Oh, the joy! There wasn't anywhere that I had to go, and I woke up at around 1:30 PM so I decided just to stay in my pajamas all day. Sundays are for being lazy.

I'm so removed from the rest of humanity that I semi-forgot about the Oscars. First off, it's never this early in the year, right? And I stopped watching TV a while ago. But I am excited this year because of the LOTR frenzy. I'm reading Fannio's Oscar Blog right now to catch up on things. :) I'm also watching the Return of the One Party webcast, not that I can really understand anything. But people sound excited!

Oh, apparently they had a big screen up in the students center showing the awards...doh! Mmwell. Thank god for the Internet!

This weekend was rather uneventful. Yesterday I spent six hours in the student center with Jason, my lab partner, to work on our manuscript. What could be more exciting than how freezing temperatures and herbivory affect cyanogenesis in C. elegans? WHAT? I don't know.

Holy crap, I must've missed something; everyone in the webcast is cheering a lot now. A lot-lot. But I can't really understand anything...OH okay that's because ROTK just got Best Picture! WOOHOO! Thank you, Fannio!

[the screaming continues]

I should listen to the ROTK soundtrack and get in the mood, eh? CONGRATULATIONS TO PETER JACKSON AND EVERYONE INVOLVED IN LOTR! You guys are awesome. And you all made me so happy. SO HAPPY! :) :) :) :) :)

So yes, six hours of attempting to write a biology manuscript was JUST how I wanted to spend my Saturday. And that's what most college students do, eh? When I finally left, I thought, "I don't remember what fun is!" I spent the rest of the day in my room doing...god knows what. I don't even remember, to tell you the truth. Isn't that sad? I guess I was eating stuff...

My mum dropped some food and things off for me on Friday. She said that I'd probably have some food left over to bring home at the end of the week. Erm! Wishful thinking on her part. ;) She brought me two 9 oz containers of almonds, another container of cashews, a 10 oz container of dried figs, two ten-sheet packs of nori, and a 4 oz bag of leafy veggies. Since Friday I've finished the veggies, the cashews, one container of almonds, and one pack of nori. And that's in addition to the loads of oranges and grapefruit that I already eat. Isn't that just a little frightening? I think so. God knows how much weight I'm putting on. I feel like I'm going to give birth to a bowling ball.

[I totally can't understand what's going on in this webcast, so I think I'll stop listening to it. Doooh.]

My mum also brought up my Poofy shirts! WOO! Here's a picture of me in my nice orange Poof-tastic shirt. Nice, eh? There may have been a few problems with the order though. I e-mailed the printing company about it and hopefully I can get them replaced, or maybe a little refund. I can't believe I didn't notice earlier how weird the mouth looked, but I can't do anything about it now so there's no point in dwelling on it, eh? Eh. I'm the type of person who dwells on things, but then I only ordered 24 shirts, so no big deal. If I ever make another one, anyone who ordered this one can get a discount, haha!

Crap, there's something wrong with my CD and the songs sound funny. Wah! No! :(

What the heck is up with this Oscar Gift Bag? "Included gifts are; a Z Electric Scooter, a gift certificate for a private island getaway on Fisher Island"...oookay. Man.

Great, now all I can think about is LOTR. I should watch ROTK again. YES! I mean, I only saw it three times, I think. Not a whole lot.

Man, I can't even remember what I'm supposed to be doing right now. My roommate is already sleeping, so I should probably go to sleep soon too. Only five more days of school until I get to go home! And I'll be in California in a week! EXCITING! But I don't know anyone who lives around Disneyland, so that kind of stinks. :| I could have met Rebecca if our spring break plans coincided. I hope that being in Disneyland will make me so happy that I will forget about eating and lose some weight. BWAHAHA!

About LOTR

This page contains an archive of all entries posted to in the LOTR category. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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