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August 19, 2003

Hobbit Feet Are Hairy

This past Saturday my mum and I decided to watch all the Lord of the Rings stuff we had. I didn't watch everything (which included documentaries and the animated movies) but I did watch most of the extras on the entended version of The Fellowship of the Ring and it was very interesting, although my mum kept saying at certain points, "Should they be telling us how they made the whole movie?" Well I don't see the big deal, you already know it's not realy. Soooo why not find out how they made everyone the right proportions and created the Bolrog and how they applied the prosthetic Hobbit feet? I can't imagine walking around in hairy rubbery slippers that have been glued to my feet. Of course, that's not really the hardest part of being in Lord of the Rings, but ...those feet! Well, I guess the dwarf (who I never knew was actually really tall in real life) really had it bad with all the facial prosthetics...I wouldn't be able to deal with have so much stuff glued to my body.

I'm not really "into" LOTR, but it truly is such a mindblowing movie (although the goofs are taking my fun away, wah!). I know awards aren't everything, but if it doesn't get the Academy award of best movie or best director this year, then I won't understand what happened. There seemed to have been a countless number of people involved with the movie and all the time, effort and thought that had to go into it would make my head explode...so I'm glad Peter Jackson's head did not explode. Exploding heads aren't good. Not that I know from firsthand experience.

So once again I'm too late and end up posting this in the early hours of the next day. Crap, why does that happen so much? I really have to start trying to go to sleep earlier because I'm starting school soon. TOO SOON! ARRRGH! I'm not really freaking out, I'm just...I dunno. Not really dreading it, but just plain scared. WHAT IF I CAN'T FIND THE BATHROOM?! Okay, that won't happen. And speaking of bathrooms...

A few days ago I got my period (this will be related to bathrooms, trust me), which sucks, of course. I didn't think it was gone for good, but still...I thought maybe three or four times a year. I went 5 weeks without it though, which is better than the regular 4 weeks I used to deal with. Of course, it's not too bad; I get no cramps, no clots, no PMS, and a pretty light flow. But it's still a pain in the butt and the one thing that would ever make me want to be a guy. So I was thinking that in college it's going to be somewhat annoying to take a shower while having my period. I don't know about you (figuring that a female is reading this) but when I take a shower during my period I like to have the toilet next to the shower stall...okay, I hope I'm not saying too much here. Anyhoo, I'm quite sure the bathrooms aren't like that in my dorm, and the bathrooms are co-ed, which doesn't bother me that much but I guess it's another annoying thing I have to think about.

Bloop. I have bigger things to worry about than the proximity of the toilet to the shower stall. My brain has gone into "stagnant pool of muck and algae" mode and I have no idea how I'm going to learn anything. And then even if I do manage to learn anything, will I do anything good with it? My brother got a packet from his university about choosing a career since he'll be a senior this year, and everything in it freaked me out. I can't imagine going job hunting or being qualified for anything. I can be sure about one thing; I can bag dem groceries, ya! (Don't ask me why I typed it that way...that's just how it sounded in my head.)

Today I went to Ackerman's Music Center to get my guitar restrung. I literally haven't played it in months because the strings have been funky and the tuning knobs look like they're going to crack off. Anyhoo, Anthony has been talking about ways to get more people to see the site, but I'm not really familliar with submitting websites to search engines and junk like that. I put the website in a buch of music database thingies though. I showed him my Poofy shop and now he's interested in making an online shop, which I think would be a cool idea. ...but then if no one knows the site exists, it's kind of pointless. Oh well, I'm not sure if we'll be setting up the shop-a-ma-jiggy.

Speaking of my Poofy shop, I made an incredible sale today. Keep in mind that I usually make no sales. ...anyway, this one person just ordered something from me and I guess she got her package already. So she made another order today...for two small poofies, one big poofy, and two sets of buttons. Grand total: $44. Yikes! Since she's my only repeat customer and she made such a huge order, my mum said I should give her a coloring book...yeah, why didn't I think of that? So I included a coloring book and a pack of crayons. :D Right now I'm planning to leave all the money I make in my PayPal account in case I want to buy anything online...and then I won't have to wait for an echeck to go through. I ordered a t-shirt from kozy n dan with an echeck (and then the next day I ended up having enough money in my paypal account...doh) and now I'm not sure if I'll get the shirt before I go to college. Poop! Then again, I live so close to home that it doesn't really matter. I intend to use my paypal account next to get something from audiodregs; lullatone is quite nice.

I want to get back into making some kind of crappy music just because I forgot how I did it in the first place. I ...sat in front of my computer and fiddled with my guitar, mainly. I just got my Casio SK-1 and it's GREAT! The synth part is so useful (you can enter the harmonic...thingies) and all the envelopes are really cool. The porntamento thing is awesome! (I'll have to record something for you guys to listen to. I'm going to make the entied POOFYVILLE soundtrack off of this thing.) I'm a little disappointed in that I don't think the microphone on mine works, but I wasn't planning to use it anyway. It can only record 1.4 seconds and I guess that wouldn't be very useful, but I wanted to try it out. Anyway, with the synth thing you can program the keyboard to sound like anything! Kinda. Also, there's an entire recording aspect of the keyboard in that...it...records stuff. I don't see myself having any use for it considering as soon as I turn off the keyboard all my stuff would be lost and I don't intend to leave it on forever. And recording stuff was annoying as hell. Overall....very, very fun instrument/toy for less than $50.

Now I'm going to have a long rant, so...brace yourself. :P Sometime last week my dad said he was trying to book a ticket home from Taiwan so that he could be around to see my brother and I off to college. This is the last thing I want; life is much easier without my dad around. And it's HIS CHOICE to be in Taiwan, so it would be a real big waste of money to come back, not to mention that neither my brother, mum or I want to see him here. It's difficult for me to explain my family's relationship with my dad because I have nothing else to compare it to, but this is how we are. My dad spends most of the time in Taiwan (he retired a few years ago, yet sometimes he still claims he works. He tells some people he's retired and will tell others that he's not. ...I could go on and on.) and comes back to the US sometimes because he feels obligated to, or something. Of course, it's a bunch of crap because if he really wanted to stay here (I think part of the reason he has to stay in Taiwan is because he has to manage the property that his dad owns, and you have to do all that junk in person in Taiwan) as part of a "parental responsibility" then he would.

I told him that there wasn't much reason for him to come back (he hasn't been able to book a ticket because it's all full; he's waiting for something to open up) and that basically, he shouldn't. This is the reply he wrote to me. The way he wrote his e-mail is pretty much how he speaks in real life, except in real life he speaks really slowly (he's condescending, although I don't know if he knows it...probably because in the workplace he has always directed his coworkers) so e-mail is slightly easier to understand:

Dear Robyn, Thank you for telling your real feeling and opinion.

I guess parents normally would like to be around the children, and feel the resposibility to be available when possible, in particular when the children approach a new stage of their lives.Parents have the instinct or urge to give advice, although they are not always helpful and in most of the time, they can easily go overboard. No matter what, the intentions are mostly for the good and love for the children with the hope that the interaction will make the children better prepared for the challenge ahead.

This may not be an easy phase for both parents and children. I do hope any people at this stage can do their best, have an open mind and patience to listen, understand(tolorate) and appreciate each other no matter how difficult it might be.

Hope you have a wonderful week at home before going to school.

Dad

Does anyone find the wording of the e-mail annoying? It might just annoy me because this is the kind of stuff I've had to listen to my entire life, but it truly is. He makes things extremely wordy without every getting to the point. And he always talks about this "tolerance" thing, as though we are obligated to appreciate each other no matter what just because we're related. The problem is that he doesn't realize he's the one without the open mind or willingness to change. My mum can bear witness to that for being married the past 20-something years. I feel bad for her although at the same time I wonder what she was thinking when she married him. She said that she thought he'd change, but instead he didn't and just ended up more like his parents.

Anyway, I just hope my dad still isn't thinking about coming back because I only have about a week left before I have to go to college and I'd like it to be as stress free as possible. Obviously my dad wasn't planning to come back, and a few months ago he asked me if I'd rather he come for my high school graduation or to see me off to college. I figured if he had to be at one, graduation would be easier to deal with. So he did come to my graduation, and that's all I expected. No more.

I have some last things to mention along with pictures to show you. Today I got my (drumroll) LOST MONSTER and it is sooo cute! And it comes with a little buddy monster! The little mosnter JINGLES! I KID YOU NOT! Maybe I should make a line og "jingling Poofies"...HAHA! Okay, no. Here are some photos of the monsters meeting a Poofy! And here's me with the monsters. I AM A NEW MUM!

Yesterday I made a few things, one thing early in the morning and one thing late at night (either way, the sun wasn't out anymore, hehe). I made a Bork shirt like I've been planning forever yet never actually did. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but I think it took 2 - 3 hours to make. ....which isn't that long, but still, it's not something I'd do a lot. Obviously, a Poofy applique shirt would be really easy. :) Bork is the hardest one, which is why I wanted to do it! The other thing I made, I took a photo of, but I don't want to post it because it's something I made for Diana and I want it to be a surprise! ;) Although now I might be building up suspense for nothing. At least this time I'll get to give it to her in person because the BRMC handbag that I made for her got lost in the mail. :( The only time I ever lost anything in the mail was when I sent stuff to Argentina; I wouldn't expect sending something the next state over would get lost!

Last thing: Poofy.net is the Site of the Day (yesterday) at All Things Kawaii! Yaay! :D And I think that website moderator must have looked at my links page because she added some links to her directory that I had put on my page. That makes me happy! MORE CUTE THINGS FOR EVERYONE BWAHAHAHA! Rate my site while you're at it, okee? :)

--- comment replies! ---

Peaches are good for passing outta my intestines? WEEE! I'm glad cos I've been eating them like some peach monster lately....a peach eating monster, I mean. Not a mutated peach with teeth or something.

Peaches (and plums ) = LUUUUV!

I guess I should put a thingy at /blog saying my page moved. Actually I can just make it redirect to the index page. I SHALL GO DO THAT! Yes. :D

Seeing the blackout from space would have been interesting if it really did just look like half of the continent got wiped out....

...BY MUTATED PEACHES!

August 22, 2003

I Have Boring Teeth

Right now I'm listening to Rufus Wainwright and being nostalgic. I don't know why I enjoy going into nostalgic modes with music, but...I do. So I'm listening to his debut album right now and thinking of the times in 8th grade when I just lied in my bed and listened to the album all the way through. It's such a good album...yet I don't think my friends favor him very much. Not that they don't like him, but they just don't get "that" feeling. I know I'm not making sense right now, but for a while in 8th grade (and into 9th) I was a little obsessed with Rufus. I think. Did you see the new album? It looks so sad. Wait, do I even like sad things? Magnet is super-depressing. Hm.

Anyway. What's been going on this week? This LAST WEEK before going to college? (sigh) And the last week of me being a kid; besides the going-to-college thing, I'm almost 18. I must say, I am not all for this "growing up" business. So what am I doing in these very last few precious days?

Well, I've been playing a lot of Neopets. Yeah, I really shouldn't do that in college, it's so time consuming. But Mookiepoob, I must feed you! AND PLAY WITH YOU! AND KEEP YOU SO FRIGGIN' HAPPY! How could I go nuts over something that isn't real? Yeah, I'm a dork.

I went to the American Museum of Natural History on Tuesday with my mum so we could have a nice outing and eat at Quintessence! :) We went to the chocolat exhibition, which kind of costed a lot just to see some stuff about chocolate, but...oh well, it was nice. Because you DO want to see the oldest piece of chocolate ever found, right? Looks like dirt. I'm figuring there's loads more of this ancient chocolate hanging out somewhere pretending to be dirt, which isn't hard when you're brown and old and...dirt-like. I guess the most engaging part of the exhibition was the chocolate shop where my mum ended up buying a good amount of chocolate. We used to be chocolate junkies; now she's the only one. It's not like I don't like the taste of chocolate, but after seeing in the exhibition just how long it takes to actually make chocolate and the processing it has to go through, it doesn't seem worth eating. The chocolate bar that you end up with as it melts into a puddle of goo in your hand is far from anything that it once was in a cacao pod. If it can't be eaten straight from the pod but only after being ground up and mashed and mixed with other things then isn't that some kind of sign that it shouldn't be eaten at all? Kinda? Maybe? Moo?

I have carob. I know it's not chocolate and it only faintly resembles chocolate, but I wouldn't eat it because I'm thinking of chocolate, I'm eating it because I like carob. I don't see carob as a substitute for chocolate, but as something completely different (I used to eat plain, dried up carob pods: yum!). Some people see carob as a alternative to chocolate and then get disappointed when it doesn't actually taste like chocolate. Well of course it doesn't, it's not chocolate! I know that's obvious, but...blah. Bloop.

I went to the dentist yesterday and apparently I have very boring teeth. There just isn't anything exciting for a dentist to do with clean teeth, haha! :) Not that I never had cavities; I had two when I was little. But now those baby teeth are gone, woohoo! They took an x-ray of my teeth and I find it freaky how they just point this thing at you and a split second later have your teeth (and jawbone) on film. It's like "Okay, wear this heavy vest. Now I will point this thing at you and it will ZAP YOUR BRAIN INTO A TUNA MELT!" Oh well, I'm still okay...I think. (pokes brain)

Has anyone else ever been to Meet Your Meat? The video is extremely disturbing; you must watch it! I'm not really a PETA supporter, but the video is really well done and pretty much shows you what huge agri-business is like when it comes to meat. I would imagine it's enough to make anyone want to becom ea vegetarian or only buy meat that has been made in humane conditions without drugs and all that crap. Okay, I'm not even a vegetarian, but the only meat I eat is fish and shellfish, and I don't think I'll be eating the latter much anymore. Maybe someday I'll feel bad for the fishies I eat...anyway, I'm not saying you have to become a vegetarian, but watch the video and don't tell me that doesn't strike you in any way. If you don't care about animals, at least care about your own health. You can't be healthy if you eat unhealthy animals.

Apparently there's a law office in Washingon DC that's gone Poofy crazy. A woman who works there has bought from the Poofy shop four times (two of which were in the past two days...I combined it into one huge package) for a total of nine Poofies ordered along with various buttons. Holy crap! Well, if no one is buying two for themselves, then that's nine different people. ! I find it so funny in a really cool way that so many people like them and they all must be somewhat older than me. I mean, my mum would buy them from me, but ...she's my mum. :) She said it started after she ordered one for herself and then some co-workers wanted them too. So the lesson is to bring your Poofies to work! :D I asked her to take some photos for me...man, I can't wait.

Today I got a buttload of comics by Matt Feazell (specifically the E-Z Order option) and they're so cute! Strange, but funny. And so cute! CUTE STICK FIGURES YAAA! It's great, you gotta buy it for $10. He also enclosed a paper bag puppet. Remember those things? You used to make them in elementary school. GREAT!

Aliza called me today since she was leaving for college. :O She starts school next Wednesday, what a bummer! That's too early! I feel lucky now that I start on September 1st. If I went to her school then my birthday would coincide with the first day of classes. Talk about having a crappy birthday!

My dad will not be returning to see me off to school, thank god. He called us to tell us that...man, I really don't like talking to him on the phone. I know my family isn't horribly abusive, but you can't help to want things to be better, like perhaps having both parents as opposed to one be sane and supportive. While I was talking on the phone with my dad (and he always refers to himself as "we" which is one of the most annoying things in the world. He thinks he speaks for himself and my mum, but...er, no, my mum speaks for herself) he made it quite clear that he didn't want me going into the field of anthropology. Yeah, like I care! He's extremely vague about it, which isn't much better than saying flat out "I don't want you to major in anthopology" because he's just trying to be manipulative. He doesn't think it's a field that makes a lot of money...yeah really, you think I choose my field because of money? Does he think I want to make big bucks? He should talk to my brother. I mean, my dad knows I've already chosen anthro for the time being yet he asked me on the phone "So what are you planning to major in?" After I told him he asked me "Did you talk about it with mom already?" No duh, we LIVE TOGETHER!

Blargh. Okay, to make the mood better, check out what Judy made for me! :D ISN'T IT SOOO CUUUTE? She's really good at sewing stuff, like clothes and bags and whatnot. BUNNIES GALOOORE!

I'm disappointed to find out that on this laptop I can't record things and listen to my recording at the same time. This makes trying to record my keyboard completely useless, unless I don't want to hear what I'm recording...um. Yeah, anyhoo, this sucks. I can't hook up my keyboard to a speaker and the computer at the same time, poo poo poo!

Okee, I really need to start packing for college now. I'm going to start with clothing and then...just do that for now. It should be easy enough. Tomorrow I pretty much can't do any preparation because of the Bjork concert (I'm seeing Bjork...OH GOD! I meant that in a good way.) and I'll be staying over Diana's house for a night. :D And then it'll be Sunday. How did the time go by so quickly? Argh!

December 27, 2003

A Thrilling Holiday

As you can see from my title, I had the most thrilling holiday ever. Kind of. Maybe. Not really at all, but maybe if you squint...

My holiday was okay, although obviously not much worth talking about or else I would have updated this thing sooner. I mean, it's 4:30 AM right now, what am I doing? I took a nap today and now my sleep cycle is a bit off. Today I woke up late, ate a late lunch, took a nap, woke up and ate a really late dinner, wrote some letters, sewed some Poofies, and...now I'm here. Hm.

Yesterday (well, two days ago) for Christmas we had an old family friend over and at the last minute, two of my cousins and one of cousin's husband. I guess it was nice to have a lot of people over for the holiday who weren't annoying (on Christmas Eve we had my mum's aunt and her husband over, but she doesn't like them very much). My mum had to cook a lot more stuff than originally planned though, and I'm glad she got to relax today. I don't understand how my dad can just invite over whoever he wants and not actually do anything to help prepare for the dinner and things like that. I mean, he really does nothing. My mum had a bagillion dishes to clean. And even stupider (maybe) is that he asked my mum to invite over another family we're friends with on Sunday. Because Sunday is that special December 28th holiday! Erm. No. There's no point, and my mum JUST finished destressing from the past few days of having to entertain. We might invite them over for New Years Eve, but I'd rather not have to get together with people, even though I like the other family. It just seems really stupid that my dad can do whatever he wants but not actually have to do any of the dirty work. Actually, I don't really like my dad so I'd probablhy criticise anything he does...and I know he's not a bad person, but there's nothing very likeable about him.

I'm getting pretty attached to cheese. I've never sought good cheese until now (as opposed to when I ate mainly cooked food and ate weird mozzerella sticks and cheese singles...okay, those things are definitely NOT cheese, and I would question their digestibility). Manchego is especially yummy in my opinion; it's not too salty, but has enough that there's some flavor, and it's a bit chewy and hard but not too chewy and not so dry that it crumbles. I had a very tiny goat cheese that my mum bought and it was really dry. It seems like goat cheese isn't as chewy as sheep or cow cheeses. My mum and I had this other goat cheese that was really fresh, but was more like a block of cream cheese than a regular harder kind of cheese. Also, it barely tasted like anything, which isn't a bad thing, but it was coated with a bunch of herbs that tasted funky. ...anyway, CHEESE! MM! If you buy cheese, get the good stuff.

...man, did I just write that much about cheese? Eek. Well. I ran out, so I didn't eat any today. I've been eating a lot of butter lately, just for the heck of it. Why not, I never ate that much butter before. Nope, it's not raw...can't find raw butter. :( What is butter good for? Fat, pretty much. FAT IS GOOD! As long as it's good fat. I'm not really low on fat in general, but I'm having some weird circulation problems (I don't know if that's even related). Sometimes my toes and fingers are ice cold, and it feels pretty weird sometimes. My mum is much warmer than I am. :( And it seems like the more I use my fingers (like now when I'm typing), the colder they get. Is that supposed to happen? Oh well, if I keep everything in perspective, cold hands and feet are much easier to deal with than not being able to breathe through my nose and having asthma.

My cousins really liked my Poofies (maybe I should add that they're both females in their late 20s)! I had a bunch of extra ones and it took me a while to realize that I should give them each one for Christmas. I still have two big Poofies left that I guess no one wants...*sob*...so maybe I'll sell them through cut + paste. My cousins also picked some buttons and gave me $5...aw. That was nice. Today I got my Poofy stickers and they're great! They're printed on vinyl, so they should last a while. And speaking of Poofy, I just updated the comics with some that I did while I was in school. Oooh!

Lately I've been making lots of skirts. I've grown fond of skirts lately because wearing them makes me feel like whale-like than when I wear pants. DOWN WITH PANTS! I still like pants though. Anyway, I've never really worns skirts until this year, which is weird...maybe. I would never be caught DEAD in a skirt in high school, don't ask me why. It would have been very un-Robyn-like. But now I wear skirts without really thinking about it. And I can wear fun stripey socks with it. SOCKS! YES, SOCKS ARE GREAT! But you knew that already.

Well, I can't think of anything else to say now. Sad that just about nothing has happened in this past week, eh? I still haven't seen Return of the King for a second time...must...do...that! AND THEN I CAN SEE PIPPIN! HAHHAHAHEHEHA! Uh. No, I'm not scary at all...

March 13, 2005

oh, it's all my fault

This is more LJ-worthy, but anyway. My dad is annoying. He's not really bad, but he doesn't understand his family at all. He said something along the lines of how I should feel honored to get to plan out something with a family member, or spend time with one, that family member being him. Well, if I felt honored you wouldn't have had to say that. I don't know you very well and it's not my fault. I know mum well enough to figure out what to do with her. I know most of my friends well enough to plan something with them. YOU, I don't know, and I'm already 19. I'm far from being dead but you kind of screwed up somewhere along the first 19 years of my life, which means I don't like you that much. You have this idea (maybe it's Chinese) about family honor that has to be forced upon your family because WE DON'T REALLY LIKE YOU. If you want to change that, you have to change also.

But he won't so this is totally pointless. I know life could be worse but that doesn't mean I don't deserve more. My dad should find another family of obedient children that never give him problems. He'd like that.

Oh, it's all my fault. Why? Because I said so. It's my fault for existing because I REALLY WANTED TO BE BORN and now I have this great feeling of guilt for not liking my dad enough and treating him badly because he's extremely hard to communicate with.

It's all my fault. Hooray. No wonder I always feel guilty about everything. It's just the way I am. Any bad thing that happens is my fault. It's my fault for being a bad daughter and for eating so much and not being able to control what I eat and for being stupid and not trying hard enough in school.

I wish I could kill myself.

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