Legs feel like jello
Yesterday I took a massive walking tour across the Williamsburg Bridge and around Williamsburg, accompanied by Alex, in order to see Sondre Lerche play to a coffeehouse of sweaty fans . The absence of the L train was a blessing in disguise, as my suburban body was crying out for some form of physical activity and I figured, “Hey, we can WALK over that bridge!” It looks impossibly long but only takes about 30-40 minutes to walk, which isn’t bad at all. Not having been to Williamsburg many times (I’ve primarily seen it in the moonlight), I was surprised by how nice it was. Too bad that niceness translates to “You will never live here”. It reminds me of Ridgewood, the coolest town (er, village) near me, but with a younger crowd. After seeing Sondre, we headed back over the bridge and walked to Chinatown to eat Vietnamese food and ice cream (I got sorbet; still on that “no dairy” thing, ye know).
What a lovely day. If only every day could be like that, I would feel less like a big useless blob that sits around all day in front of her laptop; I’d be a big useless blob that walks around and eats!
Seriously, being a useless untalented student is getting to me. I read about all the great things other people have done, whether because of their studies, hobbies or acts of good will, and wonder if I’ll ever do great things. I’d be better off focusing my energy on actually doing great things instead of wondering whether I’m going to do them, but if I did that then I wouldn’t be in this situation. Sitting my bum. Being useless.
Of course, not everyone is meant to do “great things”. Should I be content with a mediocre life? One of my friends said I need to be surrounded by more inspirational people. I know plenty of cool people online but as for a constant presence, there isn’t anyone. My family isn’t much of a source of anything; my mum seems to have given up on life getting any better, which greatly depresses me. If I were more determined, I’d find a job, save money, and move out of my house/the suburbs right away, but if I were determined…
Ah, being totally random. Mind splodge. I’m not a sad person, just not a person with a lust for life.
Today I played my drums for the first time in ages (months, perhaps) and it was refreshingly fun. It would’ve been better if my mum wasn’t in the room; I’m too self-conscious. I know she doesn’t care how I play but I’m generall bad at doing anything musical around people, the exception being when I played clarinet in wind ensemble. I guess the problem is when I play by myself and every mistake is painfully obvious. I know I’d practice better if I were alone. You can see why I’d never be in a real band, eh? How many people do you know who like playing the drum kit but aren’t making any progress towards being in a band?
Lastly, I’m in the process of redo-ing diskobox.net. Most of the site doesn’t work yet but hopefully that’ll change, or else I’ll have wasted a lot of time.