human pastry puff
I'm going to turn into a human pastry puff if I don't start thinking about how most of the food I'm eating is increasing my chances of getting diabetes. I ate so much today (and yesterday) that I'm not sure where to begin. I went back to NJ Friday afternoon and arrived back here today at around 5:30. I strolled by Au Bon Pain, even though my plan was to not eat for at least 24 hours. I never go to Au Bon Pain so I'm not sure what compelled me to. And now I know they sell baked goods 50% from 4-6PM. Damn. However, now that I'm looking at the ingredients, I don't think I'll buy anything from there again. Unless they have a pumpkin muffin.
What tends to send me over the edge into feeling un-wellness is drinking a lot of water. Yeah, it fills me up and then makes me feel like puking, but despite that, I still have the desire the eat. Obviously I'm not hungry, but I'm just...piggish. Why can't I stop? How was I ever a raw foodist? WHAT'S GOING ON?!
Mm. Well. I've seen The Incredibles twice already: Friday night with my mum and last night with Sam, my new roommate. Now I know there's a movie theater a 15 minute walk away from here by the WTC site. It's a really good movie and I'd hate to spoil it so just see it. Yup. SEE IT. YAY MOVIES. I don't watch movies very much and as they cost $10.50 here, I don't think I will.
Last week I tried to eat less. I TRIED. And I semi-succeeded. I ate way too much over the weekend (on Halloween I made myself pancakes and ate a crapload of candy and some ice cream with CJ as we unsuccessfully tried to see the parade). Monday I ate a persimmon and an egg, Tuesday I ate some candy and stuff from my food lab (lots of fish, mashed potatoes, some rice...okay, a lot gets made in that class), Wednesday I had 5 bananas throughout the day, Thursday I ate a crapload of little sandwiches that I got from my new student seminar spring session advisement thing and ice cream, and over Friday and Saturday I just ate too much. If I can I'll try to fast today and Monday but I seem to be very bad at that. Ugh.
Weight must be lost! Diet must be changed! Sugar intake should decrease, but that's usually what I crave.
It's annoying to be obsessed with food in a stupid way that I have yet to be able to relate to with anyone else (my writing has been steadily worsening over the years, I think) but I guess it's better than what most regular girls my age worry about. School. The opposite sex. That seems to be it, mainly. I'm worried about becoming an obese diabetic, which is a valid thing to worry about. Right?
Um. I have issues.
And I want to see Magnet perform. That and worrying about food are daily thoughts. What is semi crazy is that the week that Magnet is playing in CA (12/12), I don't really have any classes. Cruel fate. If I were super rich I guess it wouldn't be a hard choice to go.
Man, what else happened this week? Um. Well! My roommate moved in so my room feels less empty. We're both a bit food obsessed but she dances and is almost surely healthier than I am. Or at least more fit. I guess despite all the crap I eat I may be semi-healthy.
Today: need to fast!