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September 2004 Archives

September 5, 2004

NYU: Week 1

I've been neglecting this blog, but god knows why you'd want to read it anyway. If you used livejournal then you could see my bitching and moaning on a semi-regular basis, complete with photographic aids every now and then. ...or maybe it's better you stick to this blog.

Anyhoo, I've been in my dorm for more than a week now (got here last Saturday) and it's very nice. I've been walking a lot, eating a lot, calling people a lot, sitting in front of my laptop a lot (especially now that I have a cable modem) and...yeah. Most of my time is spend sleeping, walking, eating, and Internet-ing. It's kind of like being in Vassar or NJ except I walk a lot more here. There's a shuttle that goes from my dorm (200 Water Street) to the NYU Washington Square campus (which is where most of the classes are, as opposed to London or Madrid) in about 20 minutes but since I'm masochistic and need serious exercise I've been walking most of the time. If I'm fast it only takes me 35-40 minutes to walk, and if I'm slow (which I usually am) it takes 40-50 minutes.

Today I walked to the Loews Theater on Third Ave and 11th Street, which took me 50 minutes because I am stupid and went all the way to First Ave. Doooh! Diana suggested that we see Vanity Fair and since I didn't know anything about the movie I happily joined for da fun. Overall it was pretty good, except I felt like a lot of the story was being left out. Not considering the story, it was nicely shot and mainly takes place in England. So England gives it cool points. COOL!

We roamed around for a while, stumbling upon Rice to Riches after following my messed up sense of direction (I mixed up Prince and Spring street, which is scary because yesterday I looked up the address and could only remember Prince...Prince doesn't sound remotely like Spring, does it?). We had a cheesecake pudding and a peach pudding with cherries on top. Mmm. Lunch.

More walking brought us to our favorite place, Urban Outfitters. I hate to admit it but I always like the clothes they have. There are about five of them within walking distance though, and I saw two of them today. And there aren't any in NJ, poo. We do have a Free People store though, which is as close as it gets. Anyhoo, I'm not allowing myself to buy clothes until I lose weight, which at this rate means I will never buy clothes again. I already bought pants when I was skinnier and I predict depression if I buy anything larger. So blah! Blah.

My plan to lose weight and eat less/eat raw food is not going well, or going at all. Honestly, I'm eating so much crap. Today was bad because we had a floor meeting with free ice cream and...dude, there was so much free ice cream. So much. I had two bowls and I still feel fine (although I did feel a bit eh after the second bowl). Ice cream tastes really good; now I understand why people like it so much. To fill you in, I think (thought) I was a bit lactose intolerant, but yesterday I drank a bottle of chocolate milk and remained in good digestive condition today. It should only take a day for my intestines to figure out if they can handle the milk or not. God knows what'll happen to me after eating all that ice cream.

Back to Urban Outfitters. It always has stuff that I want. Always. Jeans look good on most people. Diana had some nice looking jeans and she got another pair. I don't look good in jeans, THE END! After not having been pants shopping in about two years, I realized why I took a liking to skirts: I don't need to alter them. Unless I buy pants in the kid's section of a store, they're always too long (unless they're cropped). I have no problem with skirts, except that they tend to not have pockets and pockets make life much easier. Dammit.

So blah. I spent my money at Other Music, picking up a used copy of the latest Sondre Lerche album and a used copy of a Styrofoam album. Mm, used CDs. Still good. Also got the new Filter magazine, which has a page about Magnet! HELL YEAH, A PAGE! I was so happy. If he doesn't tour near me I will die...I mean, I will cry.

Back to fooding. ...we fooded. Yes. Ate dinner at Dojo on 4th Street, which I had heard of because of it's cheap vegetarian-friendly fare. So what did I order? A hamburger. Yeah, I don't know why I ordered that. Next time I'll try something else. After that I had a hankering for some ice cream so we went to Tasti D-Lite. Damn, that's good. Hoooyeah. I've eaten so much ice cream today. God help me.

On top of the ice cream, i bought some kind of almond oat bar as I walked home and bought a 4 oz bag of Terra Chips in Duane Reade even though I only planned to buy toilet paper. God...dammit.

I feel so fat, despite all the walking around. Tomorrow I plan to walk up to Union Square and back again. That's gotta be an at least 3 mile walk, right? Maybe? Eh.

Other things I've done this week: go to a bunch of orientation things, buy some text books, talk to other people (gasp), go to Juniors in Brooklyn for mad delicious cheesecake, walk across the Brooklyn Bridge (beautiful I tell ya), see my old friend Carol from Taipei American School, eat craploads of food, drink taro milk tea with tapioca junk, go to the WTC site, walk on Broadway what feels like a million times, find out I have no roommate.

That was very summed up, but there ya go. I'm going to use some kind of photo gallery for my site cos the blogging thing ain't gonna work when I have hundreds of photos from England still collecting dust. Doh.

September 11, 2004

NYU: Week 2

I ate too much. Not surprising, eh? My push towards a raw food diet is as successful as the search for a method of time travel (except worse). At this moment I'm eating a "jumbo daifuku" despite feeling sickly from the Jingo Korean vegetable medley (not because it was bad but because I ate too much). I don't know why I have such a hard time controlling how much I eat. It's very annoying.

And thus, I am a Food Studies major! I switched from nutrition because...because. Because I wanted to. I hope it's more fun than nutrition or that I'll learn enough to make me not eat so much or...god, I don't know. There's a computer science minor that I'm interested in as well. Mmm. Computers and science. And web stufffff.

My first week of school went rather well, except for funky transportation (or lack thereof) in the wee hours of the morning. I'm not taking any 8 AM classes (why would anyone make 8 AM classes?) so it's not too bad, but on my first day of school there were so many people trying to take the shuttle that I ended up using the subway to get to campus, making it to class in the nick of time after going up seven flights of stairs. Hooray for chem! Chemistry is very un-intimidating right now, which makes me very happy. I haven't taken a chem class since 11th grade and while I did well in it, it wasn't all that enjoyable (mainly due to having morons as classmates).

After chem I had a writing course, which was moved to a different building because of a blackout in the original one. Sweet. I enjoy writing but not when I have to do it in a school setting (having to analyze something and write about it makes me want to kill things). It was a nice class but after meeting with my advisor I found out I didn't have to take it due to a policy change over the summer. SWEET! So writing class is no more and instead I'm taking a class about food in society. There are three books on the class's reading list and I've read two of them already. Woo. The bad thing about my schedule change is that I now have classes nearly straight from 2 PM to 9:25. Doh. My last classes are intro to foods and the intro to foods lab. I didn't have lab this first week but next week the fun will begin...and it should be fun because we get to learn how to cook. Not that I will use this knowledge in my too-nice kitchen, but eh.

Wednesday started off with massive raining/flooding and general craziness. Luckily, I got on the shuttle only to find out when I got to school that my computers in nutrition class was cancelled due to flooding in the classroom. It was comical to see the signs posted up, as the classroom was already switched to one different from the original schedule and there was another sign posted under the classroom change sign saying the classroom was closed. The signs basically said "GO TO LC8" and "LC8 IS CLOSED". I went to the Union Square market, bought too much food including a loaf of rye bread and many carrots, and came back to my room for a nice break.

Rye bread is yummy. I can't eat it anymore. Rye bread is also dense and brick-like. I didn't think I could eat the entire loaf in one day, maybe half, but by the end of the day I had nearly eaten 3/4ths of it. My tummy told me I couldn't digest very well so I threw out the remaining bread. Rye, no more. I've come to the conclusion that I don't handle any grain product well, but eating a little bit won't kill me if I have to (and I did eat some bread yesterday, which I'll get to).

On Wednesday I met up with Grace, an Internet friend, also an NYU transfer student. It was cool getting to hang out with someone and not sit on my bum all day until it got numb. We went to the South Street Seaport where I got ice cream and Grace got food from Subway. I ate ice cream every day this week until today because I found out my organs don't like being bombarded with ice cream, no matter how much my brain and mouth enjoy it. At least, that's what I'm assuming. I ate it every day because I thought I DID digest it fine, but I got weird intestinal problems yesterday and thus ended the ice cream eating spree. I also found out I don't digest carrots well. Dammit. All my favorite foods are making me sickly. I have yet to give up my pudding, rice or non-rice.

I had my nutrition and health class late Wednesday afternoon/evening and it was pretty interesting. The classrooms in 194 Mercer are nice and spacious, which is good since there are 80-something people in my class. The teacher uses powerpoint presentations, which are super easy to follow. YEY.

Thursday I only had two classes in the morning, chem and the new student seminar. We reviewed the three states of matter in chem...yes, turkey, pine cones, and bottles. I mean, liquid, solid, and gas. I know this stuff! HOLY CRAP that's amazing. I hope the rest of the class is easy. The new student seminar is a no credit course but it's really laid back and a good way to get to know other new students in the same department along with what resources there are. Next week we have a breakfast, hopefully not full of food I can't eat but we'll see. A lot of free food consists of bagels, pizza, tea, and cookies, none of which I have the desire to consume. (Yet despite everything I don't/can't eat, I still eat too much. Frightening.)

If anyone's curious, here's a list of stuff I can't or choose not to eat:

  • ice cream
  • grain products (ie, bread, cake, pasta, cookies; will eat on rare occassion; this does no include rice)
  • pizza (although it smells good, I think it looks kinda gross. I haven't eaten pizza in a few years.)
  • meat (eaten sparingly, just because I'd rather eat other things. However, there has been meat in the form of imitation crab in the sushi I've eaten today and yesterday)
  • coffee/tea (don't like the taste)
  • alcohol (ew)
  • salad (nothing wrong with salad, it's just not high on my enjoyment list)

Not the longest list in the world but considering how most people drink coffee/tea or eat stuff made of grain, it's...I don't know. I still eat too much. I eat craploads of chocolate.

Okay, back to whatever I was talking about...what was I talking about? Hm. Thursday. Thursday was nice because I didn't have to do much, bwahaha! I went to the club fair at Coles sports center and the line to get in was ginormous. It was around the end of the fair so I guess I was among the straglers who didn't think there's be craploads of people. NYU has too many clubs so it was pretty intimidating. There were clubs for people of a certain enthnicity of a certain religion (like "people of the island Foog who practice Shmirk"). I signed up for the web design club, the Taiwanese student something or other, and some asian interest sorority (which I didn't know existed). For the last one I didn't even know what I was signing up for until the girl gave me a postcard.

After that was the mystery concert, aka the Shins (who were opened by the Fiery Furnaces?). I like concerts and I like free stuff, but I was there by myself and was not a Shins fan. There were a bunch of desparate looking people around there who wanted tickets so I decided to give mine away and come back to my room. Yeah, I suck but there wasn't much point in me taking some other fan's place.

Friday was another short school day. I just had chem lab in the morning, during which we didn't actually do any lab stuff but just got lab partners and made sure we had the right equipment in our lockers. I've got a cool partner so I'm happy. :) Our locker is far away from our table though and it was full of crap (including old coffee cups?). Hmmm. We got all the right stuff in it now though, ie graduated cylinders, flasks, and all that fun junk that I haven't touched since 10th grade. Eek.

My dad and my grandpa came during the afternoon to visit and drive around a bit. It was kind of pointless in my opinion, but...meh. I don't have a very good relationship with my dad and I don't really have any relationship with my grandfather (besides the blood one) so it was awkward. I was happy when it was over and I got to return to my room for a short period of time before going out again to meet up with Grace at the campus. We were going to see a free movie at the Cantor Film Center but we didn't make it in...doh! The line was long so we didn't think we could but eh, we tried! Before waiting in line to see the movie we ate dinner at Peanut Butter & Co, which is now my favorite restaurant (I went there by myself earlier in the week) and the only reason I'd eat bread. $10 will get you a yummerful sandwich and a milkshake. I've rare had milkshakes before (if ever) so I didn't realize that a milkshake is basically pseudo-liquified ice cream. I was going to stop eating ice cream yesterday but after the milkshake (of which I had one and a half of since Grace didn't finish hers and...I'm a glutton) I figured, what the hell. Later that night I got a chocolate cone from a Mr. Softee truck so I really crapped up my body, but Mr. Softee was the last ice cream treat I wanted to try. The day before I got ice cream and chocolate from Australian Homemade, both delicious.

Grace and I wandered around for a while, toying with the idea of seeing a movie at the Union Square Loews but deciding against it after realizing that either all the movies sucked or we had seen them already. The place was packed anyhoo. :\ We stumbled upon an M2M, which I have now decided is my favorite place. Cheap Japanese and Korean food, I'm in heaven! We waxed nostalgic looking at drinks and candies we ate as kids (sometimes comically so: [both pointing at koala bear chocolate filled crackers] "I used to eat those!") and drooled over everything else. I gushed at the cute packaging and attempted to read katakana unsuccessfully. In the end I bought a daifuku, which I haven't eaten in ages but now LOVE (rice pasta ball filled with red bean paste).

Food. So much food. We went to Union Square and looked around the Virgin Megastore before Grace departed and I went into super glutton mode in my persuit of the chocolate Mr. Softee cone.

Today I went back to Union Square, walking along a different route than what I had taken before. Now I know it's easier to go up Bowery than Broadway. :P I met up with one of Carol's friends, Tae, and we walked around and talked about stuff...it was fun! We ate at Baluchi's (doesn't that sound Italian?) and I went completely nuts at M2M, buying craploads of stuff (yet I'm still eating). I think I've met my food-opposite, not taste wise but portion and feeling wise. Message to people who get full easily and have trouble keeping on weight: I do not understand you. Give me your problems. I will hold them like warm little babies and love them.

Now I am here, like a fat pig, eating pudding. I mean, if pigs ate pudding. Tomorrow I'm going to see Videos That Rock as part of Res Fest with Diana. Woop woop!

Random note thing: Julia is 16. Damn, I feel so unaccomplished. I love her threadless shirt, I must buy buy buy and consume some more. I have too many t-shirts. :(

September 18, 2004

Bibimbap, anytime

This week was pretty laid back compared to other weeks because due to Rosh Hashana, two of my classes were cancelled. Sweeeet. However, I've gotten super lazy and need to do work. Reading. Must. Do. That. Most of my time has been occupied with home of magnet-ing but I'm really close to being finished. Kind of. Yes. ...I can't speak in complete sentences, sorry. And "On Your Side" is coming out in 10 days! So it only took 14 months to get from the UK to here. Uh huh.

Even though there is a lot of tweaking to be done for hom, I consider myself pseudo-released from having to come up with any more design or information architecture thingies ("thingies" is the technical term). So what now? OTHER SITES! Nougart.net (which I used as a test site for textpattern) and this one. This site needs a redesign, don't you think? It hurts my eyes and has turned into a massive light blue sludge. I'm not sure what the redesign will be like, but it may involve a can of beans because that's what this site stands for. Indigestion.

I should update this thing more, eh? What the hell have I been up to? Food issues still run rampant, today being a very foodie day that broke my "one meal out a day at most" rule. I had TWO meals out. GASP! My food bill ran about $37 today, $20 spent on lunch at Serendipity 3. I have a photo of myself with the massive frozen hot chocolate...so massive. I was so happy. Just before I was out of breath and feeling slightly deathie.

Okay, rewind. The main point of the Serendipity going was to see Melanie and Jamie, two of my old friends from Taipei American School. If Karen had been there, our group from 7th grade would've been complete. :) One of Jamie's roommates and her roommate's friend were there as well. It was really cool seeing them again because even though I had only been to school with them for two years, seeing them again was like ...no time had passed between us. Except a lot of stuff has that I'm probably not aware of. I guess what's cool is that we haven't changed a whole lot since 7th grade. I have friends from back then who I probably wouldn't recognize today based on their personalities, or maybe what they look like. We're not all necessarily alike (I'm not sure we'd be friends if we met for the first time today) but we have weird memories and we're all comfortable with each other. And we're all Asian. I feel like 99% of my friends are Asian. Hmm.

There was massive raining going on this morning which resulted in crappy subway service. If I heard the loudspeak correctly while riding the 6 train, service between 42nd Street and 100-something Street was suspended due to flooding. Crap. I was already late for the predetermined 11:30 AM meeting time by 15 minutes when I got to 42nd Street and then I'd have to walk another 18 blocks, which took me way too long because I went in the wrong direction TWO times. Oh well, now I know that Madison Ave is west of Lexington. :\ I was pretty late by the time I got there (I absolutely hate being late or when other people are late!) so I felt crappy, but seeing old friends and indulging in a deathly frozen hot chocolate soothed my weary ...um, lungs (I got kinda wheezy).

Food at Serendipity is expensive. I got one of the cheapest things on the menu besides the drink (chili) but in the end I paid with a $20. The bill for the five of us was over $100 and I think we gave a nice tip. ;) Their food is only so-so though, so if I ever go there again I think I'll will go in the complete opposite direction of moderate intake of sweets and eat dessert and more massive frozen hot chocolate.

After fooding, we went to Jamie's apartment. Her family has an apartment in that area but don't live there most of the time. It's a very nice apartment too with a ridiculously fast elevator. We plopped around watching TV (I haven't done that in weeks) but with a bagillion channels, nothing good was on. That's kind of sad. We decided we HAD TO MOVE AROUND, so Melanie and I went to the NYU Bookstore and Jamie and her roommate went back to their dorm, then later met up at Korea Town (33rd Street).

I haven't eaten much Korean food in my life besides kim chee and jap chae (noodle thing that I don't digest very well, oh no!) so today for the first time I had bibimbap. Damn, that is good. Jamie and I got it (although I got the hot crock pot version) and we were eating it incorrectly at first. Jamie's friend said we were supposed to mixed everything and put in hot sauce but we hesitated and must've looked really odd because one of the waitresses came over asking if we were Korean. Obviously not Jamie or me, haha. She told us to mix it and stuff and...well, she kinda freaked us out, hovering above us as we ate our food, probably disgracing Korean culture (oops) so we mixed it and damn, that is yummy. And it's not like I knew mixing the rice was actually the name of the dish, haha. But honestly, I dunno if I should be obsessed with yet MORE FOOD, in fact, opening an entire cuisine to be ingested by my all too welcoming stomach. [pokes stomach]...it's been through a lot today.

After dinner we went to the Manhattan Mall where I actually BOUGHT CLOTHING, something I swore I wouldn't do until I lost weight (I've probably gained weight since I made that decision). I dropped about $60 on three skirts and three knee high socks, bringing my expendature for the day to about $100. Good lord. Oh yeah, using the subway 4 times tacks on some more...okay, I have to stop going out. I don't recall buying new skirts at all this year (maybe one?) so ...blah. Still. Consumerism. Wee. Oh yeah, clothing sizes are so screwed up. They must've decreased their sizes by three or four.

Now I am back in my lovely lonely room...well, not so bad with Sondre Lerche playing in the background (I've been listening to "Two Way Monologue" over and over again, it's super good as opposed to regular good).

So the rest of the week (previously) was good. Yesterday I met up with my roommate from Vassar, Kathryn, and we ate at Peanut Butter and Co. Yes, that place, AGAIN! At least I didn't go there two times this week, haha. It was nice to meet up and talk about how the Vassarites are doing. It was the first time Kathryn had seen me eat cooked food! ;) I felt like such a pig because she was too full to finish her sandwich, so I ate half of it (fluff and peanut butter) in addition to mine (peanut butter, orange marmalade, and almond slivers). Plus my peanut butter soy shake. Holy crap. And after that I still felt fine...fine enough to Beard Papa, which just opened yesterday. When I first passed by at around opening time, there was a line around the corner of Astor Place. I happened to pass by again later to meet up with Kathryn at the golden time of "sample pass out", which probably lasted a few minutes before the heaping plate of cream puff cut ups was gone. The cream puff was very good, but it's not something I'm likely to try again. I just wanted to try it once.

I had a chem lab yesterday morning involving using a bunsen burner and reading a graduated cylinder. If all labs are like that, I'll be set! I know they won't but I hope chemistry is fairly easy. The teacher said that half of us would probably do well enough on tests and labs that we wouldn't have to take the final.

Rest of the week...hm. Stuff happened. Nothing extremely news-worthy I suppose. Besides Magnet news. ;)

September 25, 2004

Food = Stress

Sadly, the food drama never ends. I keep creating all this food related stress for myself and I don't know what to do. I could go to a doctor and ask How come I can eat so much and not puke? but I'd rather not. Eating has being almost this entirely mental exercise in self-control...but not. I know myself well enough to not buy large quantities of food, lest I desire eating two pounds of grapes (I did that a few days ago; the lesson is to never buy a whole bag of grapes). I don't know why I can control what I eat so easily yet find it nearly impossible to control how much I eat. Last night after midnight I ate two apples in addition to the three or four I ate earlier. Today I ate three apples at lunch time, which gave me a slight tummy ache (apples give me aches sometimes, but I don't know why). Now I've decided I shouldn't eat apples anymore because right now I don't have a great desire to eat. In addition to that, I don't have any food and am too lazy to walk to Chinatown to get some even though it's only about a 15 minute walk. Maybe I'm better off just staying in my room for the rest of the night. May as well, I have homework and no one to hang out with. And I don't want to hang out with anyone if ti involved FOOD, which is funny cos that's what I did just a week ago, eh? Eh.

I went home last night and came back this afternoon. Now my kitchen is more well stocked than before, except for a few strange things, like a full set of silverware but only one plate (I'm supposed to buy more at some...point. Maybe hit up K-mart or just wander around Chinatown). I also brought a Swiffer. Oo yes, the Swiffer has de-dusted and de-haired my room. Awesome. I love the Swiffer. Also got a huge pot suitable for making pasta (which I won't do) or steaming veggies (which I will do). And a new bottle of extra virgin olive oil will give me fat. ...no, I don't drink it, I put it on food, but I don't have any food so I guess today I will get NO FAT and my brain will deteriorate.

As you can tell, I don't really have anything against eating fat. I'm against eating crappy fat though, which is probably what most people eat. Since all I ate today were apples I know my diet was nutritionally unbalanced, but it's only been one day. No biggie. Tomorrow I'll get stuff, unless I'm too lazy.

I think for now I'm best off eating a fruit and veggie diet (and oil, maybe some minimal seasonings). As for going back to all raw, I don't know about that since I don't really want to eat raw broccoli. I found out I don't digest carrots well, whether they're raw or cooked. Actually, I probably don't digest any starchy food well, so I'm cutting those out for now. So. I'll eat most fruits and veggies. Probably not nuts unless I'm really craving fat. No dried fruit cos they're too...much. On Friday I ate two containers of figs, and the second one resulted in my tongue feeling like it had been horribly burned (some of my taste buds bled for a little while). No more figs. They weren't ripe enough but a fig would half to be nearly rock hard for me to not eat it. It's easier just to exclude them altogether.

I've cut out so much food, but it's still hard to not eat so much. I tried on some pants I wore less than a year ago and I can't fit into them at all. So I have to lose weight or not wear those pants. I'd like to wear those pants, but I probably won't lose enough weight to wear em until January. I do have other pants, I just don't want to buy any more clothing to compensate for my gluttony. Cos that'd be...kinda stupid. Yup.

Yesterday during chem lab, one of the TAs told my partner and I about a mooncake get together the Chinese club on campus was holding due to the Moon Festival. I also got an e-mail from the Taiwanese club about a mooncake get together they're having (in my own DORM). Yesterday I seriously though about going to the Chinese club mooncake thing, but after eating all those apples (also ate lots of veggies yesterday and some Raweo cookies my mum bought) I decided I can't. First off, I really can't eat mooncake because it'll be like opening a dam (at least, that's what I'm predicting, but I'd rather not try and find out). I didn't even know about a Moon Festival...I'm sure I took part in some celebration while living in Taiwan but it's been six years since I've lived there, so I forgot. I havent' celebrated in any Chinese related thing since then. Chinese holidays are craploads of fun if you ask me, but like any major holiday they like to focus on food. Mooncakes aren't evil, but I don't think I should allow myself to indulge in that. I've been indulging nearly all summer and I think it should stop. It almost makes me want to cry but it won't help me if I keep going on...

I feel stupid thinking about this stuff so much when there are much more serious things that people have to deal with. Like...having a place to live, going to school, being able to buy food, having clean water.

Oh well. Ergh, life. I could say more but it'd all come out stupid anyway.

September 30, 2004

broccoli galore

Eating dinner while reading the food and drink section of the latest NY Press may not have been one of my best ideas. As you probably know, my brain is 50% air (or possibly jello) and the other 50% is obsessed with food. As for the 0% dedicated towards other things, like respiratory function and walking, well...I can't explain everything.

My diet for the past two weeks or so has been sans meat, dairy, and grains. Almost soy free too except one day when I ate something that had soy cheese in it. Today was my first day without any nuts as well, except for the day I only ate three apples all day (resulting in some weird apple/fasting hangover the next morning). I feel fine physically but mentally I feel like I'm missing out on a lot, ie, great little restaunts of which there are 5.2 gazillion of in the city. It aches me to read about numerous dumpling places. Dumplings = ooh yes. I don't know if I'm more attached to them because I'm Chinese but obviously craploads of non-Asians like dumplings. Actually, how could you NOT like dumplings? It's unthinkable.

Anyhow, way back when (as in more than two years ago) my mum and I used to make our own dumplings together. Much fun was had. They probably wouldn't have garnered any attention in a restaurant but food tastes better mentally after putting all that work into making them. We usually used pre-made wrappers but once we made them from scratch. Didn't come out as great as we would have liked (hell-o malformed dumplings!) but those were good too.

I digressed a bit there. Anyhoo, haven't made dumplings or anything of any culinary expertise (not that chopping a bunch of ingredients, food processing them, and putting them in little wrappers is difficult) in ages. For the past five days I've been steaming veggies, which to me might be easier than using a microwave. When I used to use microwaves (two or more years ago) it was hard to get my food the right temperature. I'd usually end up with some ridiculously hot dish that would cool off too quickly (dude, microwaves aren't good). Steaming is so easy; five minutes starting from the point that I turn on the stove is all it takes to steam my broccoli and green beans.

So that's what I've been eating for the past five days. Broccoli. Had some bok choy as well. Also threw in some green beans because I love them. I have no seasoning besides oil, so I've been eating steamed veggies and oil. Oh, of course I've been eating copious amounts of fruit, way too much but it's better than overeating bread (which I would be prone to doing if I weren't afraid of eating bread now, as it seems to trigger my asthma). I had a pound of almonds that I bought on Sunday but finished it in 4 days. I overeat nuts very easily, which is much more dangerous than overeating fruit, so I'm cutting it out. For now, at least.

Here's what I've eaten today (so far):

  • 9 plums
  • 4 persimmons
  • 2 heads of broccoli
  • 1-2 cups of green string beans

Yup. It's a lot of fruit. I'd eat more than 9 plums but that's all I had. Persimmons are absolutely delicious. I like them most when they're not ripe yet...crunchy and easy to peel with a knife. If they're too mushy to be peeled with a knife, that's fine too. The worst is when they're halfway crunchy and mushy so peeling them with a knife gets your hands all covered with persimmon goo and...it's not as good. But that's a personal preference. I spent $5 today on persimmons and plums for the day's total food expense.

I'm getting more obsessed with restricting my diet (because so many foods seem to give me gas beyond what I think any human should have to endure and skin eruptions and ...well, it's not cool) while at the same time reading about restaurants and such filled with food I can't really eat. I'm not deathly allergic to anything but giving in to any small treat would seem pointless. It would be such a fleeting happiness. I almost equate food to illicit drugs; to me, a lot of it is addictive (I can give it up easily though, in a way) and bad for my health. While walking through Chinatown I wanted to die seeing all the people with their moon cakes and passing by dumpling houses and stalls selling rice flour buns.

I need the restriction because otherwise I'd give into all those temptations. It's true. There are a lot of things I may not know about myself but some things I DO know are that I can eat a ridiculous amount of food and without restruction I can give into desires for chocolate, cake, cookies, pudding, etc. I haven't eaten any of those foods in weeks but you should've seen me when I first started eating cooked food (oh, 15 pounds ago). Crazy bakery raiding, many cookies lost lives, that kind of thing.

I guess it would make sense to just change my habits and not eat so much but for some reason it's easier for me to completely cut out some than to just eat a little bit of it. I tell people any food in moderation is basically okay. I can't do moderation. People may find the idea of overeating fruit funny, but I've done it. I'm doing it today, at least. Something I know about myself is that I feel a lot better if i don't eat lots of food, but I do it anyway. I just have to control what foods I eat.

God, I hate this.

...um. So on a happier note, Magnet is going to play some dates in NYC! If I were in Vassar I'd have to get my bum on a train down here. So thank god I'm already here. Anyhoo, buy his album if you don't already have it, mm kay? Good. This is all I have to look forward to, but it's a lot better than...nothing.

Okay, I don't have NOTHING to look forward to. I'm going to the Creativity Now conference this weekend. Stag. Not that you need to go to something that only requires sitting with other people. I might meet up with an Internet friend though, which would be cool. Sunday night is the Franz Ferdinand concert at which the Delays are NOT playing, I am all sad. FF is nice and all (just got their album yesterday and am listening to it now) but I really like the Delays. I've never been to a bad concert though, should be fun!

I have school work, but I tend to ignore it. Doh.

And as for school, I've been thinking about what I'm doing. Or what I want to do with life, which is what everyone thinks about but eh. Is food studies right for me? Is COLLEGE right for me? I guess I have no choice about college but I don't know if there's something I have a great passion for. If there is, I should pursue that. Screw everything else. I enjoy learning about nutrition but I have all these ideas about it that seem to conflict with popular ideas. Having so many little health problems myself, I don't think I'd make a good nutritionist. And then I have all these food issues that plague me every day. Being a semi-cooked food eater is almost worse than being a raw foodist.

I don't know what I have a passion for. The things I like don't see like things I can do for a living. Or I can screw all my food hangups and open a pudding shop. Or write comics like I should. Or design more buttons. Or learn more about making websites so I can do that and actually feel competant.

I don't know. I'm not using my resources to my best advantage and I'm lazy. I could be worse, but...I don't know. Not being able to find one's place is irritating.

About September 2004

This page contains all entries posted to roboppy.net in September 2004. They are listed from oldest to newest.

August 2004 is the previous archive.

October 2004 is the next archive.

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