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So I hesitantly weighed myself yesterday to see how much weight I gained in less than a week and it came to about five pounds. Normally this would freak me out, but I expected something like that. Actually, it should freak out any normal human being but I know it's my own fault. Also, I don't want to be obsessive about it...I used to weigh myself every morning and night and a gained of half a pound would freak me out. I would try to base what I would eat that day on how much I weighed, but I didn't have willpower so that usually didn't work (people think I must've had willpower to just eat raw food but I overate fruit and nuts, so I don't think I had much willpower). So. Five pounds. What do I do about that? Nothing? For now I'm not going to do anything. I'm afraid I'm going to turn into a fat, obses man in a few years (yup, for some reason I'll become a man) and then I'll have really screwed myself over...

It's not hard to eat delicious pastries and cooked food now, but it still feels a little weird. Like "Wasn't this poison just a while ago? How am I digesting this?" I'm glad to report that over about a week of eating cooked food and many, many pastries (my diet is something like 50% pastries now, no joke) I haven't had any weird health problems. I gotta say that I get a little asthmatic when I overeat, but that would happen with raw food too. I sleep the same amount of time and am not any more hyper than usual (which is usually ...not that hyper). Sugar really doesn't do anything for me, but I crave it all the time. Damn sugar.

I'll fill you in on my crazy diet over the past few days. On Sunday I went to Whole Foods and got some yummy blondie type thing and ate leftover fruit tart from Wegmans. And I'm sure I ate lots of fruit...hopefully. On Monday I went to the Country Pancake House in Ridgewood with my brother and had the most massive, delicious pancakes ever. I've never had pancakes there before and I haven't had pancakes in a very long time. They sell four gigantic pancakes (in over 100 varieties) for $6-$8. It's frightening. They automatically give you a carry-out container because no one ever finishes. After eating the free cornbread I could barely eat one pancake. I took it home and ate it as breakfast the next day while I was in the library at school.

There's an awesome bakery/cafe right next to the school called Babycakes and I plan to go there every day I can while I'm here. If I hadn't been a raw foodist all year, I would've gone there every day, if possible. So I'm pretty glad I was a raw foodist because their bakery items are heavenly. Today I had a mint tart and it had real mint in it. That shouldn't be mindblowing, but how many times do you eat something that's mint flavored and has real mind leaves in it? Real mint tastes totally different from artificial mint (eat a mint leaf to get the real picture). It tastes refreshing and ...plant-like. :) But that was just one of the things I ate from there today. I went there for the first time yesterday before dinner and got a small carrot cake and a scone. Both = deliciousness. I went to dinner with Nathalie, Tom, and one of Nathalie's friends to an Indian restaurant. I haven't had Indian food in a really long time, as they generally don't have anything raw. I stuck to the vegetarian entrees and my vegetable curry and rice was delicious. If I had my own choice though, I'd just eat fruit and pastries for dinner. Or for the rest of my life.

I went to Babycakes this morning for breakfast. For your information, I never ate breakfast even before I was a raw foodist. But...I couldn't resist. This place has awesome breakfast food. Tom came with me and I felt kind of bad because I told him to be up and ready to leave at 8:30 or I'd leave without him. My consciouness stirred up at 8:20 this morning because I forgot to turn on my alarm. That's the second time this whole summer I forgot to set my alarm. Dammit. I got ready in about 10-15 minutes and at 8:35, Tom was at the door...ah! Of course, no big deal but I felt bad for being the "puctuality is key!" person and then being late myself. I had counted on Tom being late because he never wakes up that early and I always do!

At Babycakes I had rocky mountain oatmeal, which is kind of like this oatmeal loaf. All the oatmeal goodness without the vomit-esque consistency. I don't like oatmeal mainly because of the texture; oatmeal cookies or dry granola type stuff is fine with me. The oatmeal was warm, soft, and deeeelicious. There was fresh fruit on it and a yogurt topping. After eating the whole thing, I felt...not overstuffed, which I guess is good. Tom had stuffed french toast and seemed to be really full after that. I want to try it tomorrow and see if I get stuffed, hehe. I bought a chocolate chip cookie to eat when I got back to my room (so, so good) and the mint tart. We bought a coffee and scone for Nathalie since she was still sleeping. I also made a Poofy for her last night, so she got a nice surprise in the morning...although Poofy ate some of her scone. *cough*

At around 11AM, a bunch of us media summer studies people went to Innisfree Garden for a little field trip brought together by Bert. He brought picnic food and I ate a lovely fruit salad...er, lots of fruit for lunch. I also tried...*gasp*, POTATO CHIPS. The ingredients didn't seem to know what kind of oil was in them, but I figured I should only be really worried if there was a question mark next to the ingredient. I've decided that potato chips are filled with crack because I'm not even a chip-snack person and I couldn't stop eating the damn things.

We walked around the garden for for about an hour, which ran along the perimeter of a huge lake. It was a really nice place that a lot of people probably don't know about. It's kind of weird because it's laid out but at the same time not laid out. ...yeah, that's not confusing, eh? There were water fountains misting water everywhere at some random points and lots of stepping stones. And of course, loads of plants. There were also lots of chairs although I couldn't imagine the place being crowded enough for them to get much use. I didn't see anyone sitting in them besides the people in my group.

Yay for sunshine and minimal exercise. When we got back to school, I went to the library to print more Poofy coloring books (20, which is 80 pieces of paper) and attempt to get some work done. I'm really screwed with my project cos...I need to do more of it. And yesterday I decided I didn't like the current design so much, so I worked on a new color scheme. ...

Oh yes, how could I forget? The big project this week was my Poofy book, which is now finished but not ready to sell. I'm not going to make it public on Lulu.com because I left the speech bubble blank on the cover so I could write different things. Here's the back cover. I filled out a form about buying in bulk because I'd like to get a discount on 150 copies, but I haven't heard back from them yet. That really worries me because I only have three weeks to get them before the convention. I'll probably have to use a lot of express shipping options. Hopefully it'll all even out since i'm buying 150 copies. So even if shipping costed $150, then that'd only be an extra dollar per book. ...hm. I wonder how much that would weigh.

I received an e-mail today about this raw food program. Uh huh...great. I don't think that would've helped me, but I just thought it was funny I got that today. :)

Oh, I'm not done talking about the foodie adventures! Uh...I went back to Babycakes for dinner. ;D I went alone time time and had a great black bean hummus wrap and an oatmeal cookie. Altogether I think it was about $6. Yay. And when I got back to my room I had the yummy mint tart. Food = so so good. I wish I could live in Babycakes.

...okay, now I'm done talking about my food adventures. By next entry I'll probably have gained five more pounds. HAHA...okay, that's frightening. It's nice that I can go to places with other people and eat with them now. It's such a difference from the isolation I experiences during school, not that I was necessarily locked in a cage, but life is much more fun this way. I honestly didn't realize how obsessed I was with the raw food diet and what raw foodist propaganda had filled my head beforehand. I used to look down at people for eating crap, and now look at me...I'm eating the crap! ;D I'm sorry if I ever made anyone uncomfortable about their diets, that wasn't my intention. If you think you may have orthorexia, figure out if your current diet is worth it. I honestly don't think I know anyone with orthorexia...does food cause you to not do certain activities or see certain people? Or do...stuff? That was me. I had nearly every symptom, except for number 10 (however, I still do number 2). Anyone who knows me well enough probably knows that I didn't hang out with people very much, except for my mum. And as for social activities, I hardly did those. I'm trying to care equally about the virtue and pleasure of what I eat (right now, it's more about the pleasure).

I still think that just eating raw food makes the most sense. I know cooking food is a human thing and humans aren't like other animals in many ways, but biologically we're not totally different. We live in a strange world though. And cookies taste really good.