I'm not a very cool person. I can deal with that. I suppose. Anyway, what's the point of this entry? I have no idea. I guess this blog is my way of talking to myself without being as crazy as actually opening my mouth and speaking. I'm not sure if that's bad or good. Without a blog, would I just talk aloud to myself all the time? "Robyn, you suck." "Ohh...yeah, okay." Actually, things aren't that bad but right now I'm not in a great mood. I tend to update this blog when my head is in a less than joyful state. Sorry.
What has gone on in the past week? Well last Wednesday nearly all the media students went to Storm King for a little field trip. Last Wednesday was also one of the hottest and most humid days in existence on par with a level of hell (one of the upper levels). It was a fun day besides the buckets of sweating part. I'm surprised no one collapsed from dehydration. After leaving Storm King a bunch of us went to some malls to walk around. Because...that's what you do in the Poughkeepsie area. Go to malls or find a huge ass outdoor sculpture museum.
Wednesday night was especially odd as my brain did a 360 and made me walk around aimlessly (in a large circle) for an hour and cap off the night by sitting in a tree and taking strange photos of myself. Joy. Wednesday.
Not much else happened that week. I left early on Friday to come home for the weekend, during which I met up with Aliza and saw the Harry Potter movie again in an IMAX theater. I guess twice is enough, or once on a regular screen and once on a huge ass screen is enough. I'm currently reading the book...good stuff. I think I've read it at least three times before but I always forget stuff.
Now I am back in school. Yay. Monday. An unexciting Monday. As usual I was first in the cloisters, although I was one of the first to leave as well. Not much happened today besides me being kind of confused about my project, seeing as I don't know what to do. That's usually a problem. I ate too much honey today, if that's notable...perhaps. People don't usually eat honey out of jars by the spoonful but I was getting desperate. I ate too much today, although it was just fruit and honey. I'm glad my teeth are still intact.
I'm more comfortable here than before but I'm still rather unsocial. I feel so different, not that I'm actually all that different from everyone else, but what is it about me that makes me so...not-fitting-in? Argh. No one knows. I'll never know. And no one can give me answers so it's a bit frustrating. I guess I'm talking to myself again. Tralala. I have another question that no one can answer.
As "typical teenage girl"-ish this will make me sound, how come those of the male persuasion have never taken any interest in me? You know what I mean. I don't think I've ever publicly asked this before. There's pretty much only been one time someone liked me, but that was almost not real. For the record I'll say it's not. So what the hell is wrong with me/the rest of the world? I'm going to be 19 soon and it's not at all unbelievable that I went all throughout high school with minimal contact with the opposite sex, but I did go to a regular, co-ed public high school. It would make more sense if I had gone to an all-girls school. I should've just gone to an all-women's college, but they didn't like me. Ugh. Whatever. I'm not going to change anything now so that guys will like me so I'm wondering what's "wrong" with how I am just being me. I hope it's not too egotistical for me to say that I don't think I'm a very unappealing person. Last time I checked I was still human. Yup. And I still have all the appendages I was born with.
Damn, I'm really self-centered. Sorry.
I guess overall though my life is about 1000% easier than other people's lives involving relationships. So I'll count my blessings. I feel like all other people do is bitch about their exes and things like that. Just...SHUT UP! Honestly. Shut up. It's annoying. No one wants to hear you whine. I can sympathize if this happens for the first time to someone, but if it happens five times it's really hard to feel sorry for the person. Like "Damn, I touched that stove five times and I keep getting burned! I wonder WHY." Gee, I have no fucking clue. Now...leave me alone.
[I'm not really that bitter. It was kind of fun typing that last paragraph though. :)]
Comments (3)
HAHAHAH! Funny you are! I'm definately not a mall person so when I come up there, remind me not to go to any, kay?
Didn't really like this HP as much as the other two, but then again I've never read any of the books nor do I plan to so I have no right to speak on that certain subject. I do enjoy the sweet English accent though. :-)
As you know, I was quite baffled when you told me you had never had a boyfriend but you seemed as though there was ever anyone that you were interested in. I'm sure that there have been guys in the past that were crushin on you, but since the feeling didn't feel mutual, they never acted on their feelings. Maybe you don't know this, but guys are wimps. Most of us only go for a sure thing. If we have any kind on feeling that we might be rejected, we run away faster than a nerd at a bully convention. And yes, you are very appealing.
I'm ordering my eight billion tickets for the concert right after I post this comment so......yeah.
Peace ma'am
Posted by cj | June 15, 2004 2:14 AM
Posted on June 15, 2004 02:14
BLARGH! This is my first time reading your blog. So far so good! Now do I need to read your livejournal too? Are they the same? Anyhoo, the general consensus is that boys suck. I think that's the message my novel will be sending :-), but I won't give away the plot! Um, yeah also don't forget, you went to Vassar, and in high school, everyone was "awkward" but hey there are lots of boys in New York City! So, yeah be optimistic!
Posted by Fangirl Amee aka Amy | June 15, 2004 8:26 PM
Posted on June 15, 2004 20:26
Aww, Robyn. I think you're cool, and I tend to think fairly mannishly (that is what I'm told), so it's basically you haven't met good fellows yet. Also you are so right about the annoyingness of people whining about their exes when they've had a bajillion of them. Buhhh. Anyway, based on the friends I have who are males, unless they've had a lot of social interaction with females they really don't know what to do when they like somebody. Just give it time, and stick to being you. :)
Posted by Fannio | June 20, 2004 11:31 PM
Posted on June 20, 2004 23:31