roboppy.net

It's over. No more freshman year. No more Vassar. I'm free to run crazy and wild and poke things with sticks.

Shall I do that "reflect on all the things I did/did not do and how much stuff sucked/did not suck" thing? I guess I'll start off by saying that college wasn't as scary or bad as I thought it would be. I wasn't one of those people in high school that looked at college as an exciting experience where I would learn new things and be exposed to cool people and experiences. It's not like the idea didn't enter my brain at some point, but I'm a pessimiste and my biggest hope was that I would survive the year. I wasn't as scared as I was going into high school (which was much, much worse than college) but I think it took me longer to adjust. And the whole picking a major thing threw me off, besides living in a place possible more boring than the area around my hometown (sidenote: I never knew my town had such an ugly website...it's not bad, it's just ugly. Man, I wanna redesign this thing). Actually, it wasn't that it was boring as much that Vassar can feel like a bubble/prison and it felt weird to not ever have to leave campus. I went home practically ever weekend during the first semester.

And that's when something in my head told me to transfer to NYU to major in nutrition and live in NYC, which is where I had always wanted to live. I went through the annoying application process that i thought I would never have to go through again after 12th grade, or at least not so soon. But it all paid off because I somehow slipped through the cracks (I attribute this method to how I got into Vassar as well) and was accepted. Woo! For a while I was almost hoping I wouldn't get into NYU because I became more comfortable in Vassar with some good friends, a high-paying campus job, probably getting a radio show next semester, and being in the best Japanese class ever coupled with a new Japanese major, but when I thought about how miserable I was in the beginning of the year and the second semester, I became set on transferring. Before transferring I would have to brand the school with poofy. ;)

When my roommate had left 13 or so boxes of stuff to put into storage, I was somewhat horrified. How could anyone have so much stuff? I take that back after having packed all of my things. I think I may have had more stuff than she had! I have no idea where all my crap even came from considering how small our room is, but I had tons and tons of junk (no photo, unfortunately) that somehow all fit into my mum's Jeep while having enough room for Joan to come home with me for the weekend. We just shoved everything in the back (finishing off the grand pile with my guitar and the 30-something pound pack of water bottles) and hoped it wouldn't collapse and kill something. I should figure out a better way to pack things. I didn't use any cardboard boxes because I didn't have any, but I think crates and bags are easier to carry. They don't stack well, but who needs stacking when you can just smoosh and pile everything on top of one another? "Smoosh and pile" is all the rage.

My two finals were not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Remember that I'm a pessimiste and equate everything to death, or at least look at the bright side of things by thinking, "At least I have both of my arms and legs and am not having my stomach poked out with a garden hoe and that I can walk and talk somewhat intelligibly without screaming random obscenities or POOP CRAP huh?" My Japanese final went okay, although I'm not sure if I made the 85% mark that I needed to get an A- for the semester. I waaay overstudied for bio, but I guess I'm glad I did or else I would have been more worried beforehand. Our practical consisted of 19 stations at which we had 3 minutes each (or 6 minutes for two of the stations) to complete a task and show our bio prowess. I really screwed up the Punett Square and somewhat messeed up graphing with Excel, but besides that I think I pulled a high B or low A. Our written part consisted of 3 questions, one of which was "What is biodiversity and why is it important?" or something to that extent.

The past week has been race to use as many meal points as possible. This involved eating three meals a day as stuffing myself to the point of thinking "I wanna puke and die and puke after I die and maybe do more dying after that if my soul can handle it". I've gained about three pounds in the past week and I've been eating despite knowing that I already overate and that I wasn't even hungry. Yesterday I got loads of stuff from the salad bar (not all raw) because I didn't have many Retreat points yet and figured I'd just get some more fun veggies and beans (beans are too tasty...damn them). After that I felt like a blimp. I went back to my room and ate MORE FRUIT, putting me into "puke/die" mode. Lovely!

So I gotta lose weight over the summer. 10 pounds, if possible. I've gained more than that since last summer and I don't think I can even fit into the clothes I bought last spring. Keep in mind that this happened not because of what I ate but because of how much I ate. It's probably better to eat a reasonable amount of cooked food than eating buttloads of raw food. I've decided that I can't handle eating even little bits of cooked food like I've been doing over the past week ("little bits" actually equating to about 24% of my daily consumption). It's sad to think that I put on so much weight (that isn't muscle) from eating such healthy foods (at least to the regular person's eye) but there you go...I'm hopeless. And eating a partly cooked and raw diet doesn't even work for me because to an extent, I have no willpower.

This morning I ate an orange and two bananas for breakfast. Damn. I've been eating way too many bananas lately, something like 5-6 a day. If that was ALL I ate in the day, it wouldn't be a problem. ...but that's in addition to three meals. Eh oh.

I woke up today at 9, which gave me about 6 hours of sleep. I don't know why I woke up so early and in fact, I've been getting less sleep now with the cooked food and such than during most of the school year when I ate nearly all raw food. I don't know if I burned out some of my organs or if I'm just screwed up.

Yesterday I walked to the TH (townhouse) that I'm going to live in over the summer. It was much more cramped than I thought it would be and since it's off-campus, it feels a bit secluded, but I hope it'll be fun. The houses out there look like toolsheds and the grass is way overgrown. It's a huge difference from the main Vassar campus despite it still being a part of Vassar. I looked at the schedule for my summer job, which is actually more like a media summer camp, and I'm schedule to do something, maybe a presentation, on two days. What? HUH? I have no idea. Gaaah! Noo!