Alright, I'm exaggerating a bit. I've never been obese, only overweight (although as to what a normal weight should be is debatable). For some reason lately I've been unable to control how much dried fruit and nuts I eat and it's really bothering me. However, all I do is sit here and stuff myself sill while thinking, "Gee, I shouldn't be doing this." So in the end, I know it's all my fault, but why? My body has no need for copious amounts of nuts and dried fruits, but I can't turn that sense off. All I can do is use up my supply of nuts and dried fruit (which will only take another day or two) and see what happens. I won't say how much I weigh now or how much I used to weigh before doing the whole vegan/raw food (and now non-vegan raw food) thing, but I've gained nearly half of what I lost two summers ago. Fun? No.
As for non-vegan foods, I had Japanese food with Sarah, a friend from high school, last Thursday. That was the first time I ate at a restaurant since winter break. Sure, it hasn't been that long, not even two months, but it's nice to get out and eat somewhere other than my dorm room. The dinner was kind of random, but not really...I don't mean it in a bad way. I saw Sarah at the Rufus concert last week and she suggested we get together. She's really cool and unique, and I think I'm lucky to know her. We were casual acquaintances in high school and can recall those fond memories from AB calculus... .... ...yup.
Other things I did last week were freak out about bio, freak out about psych, and freak out about Japanese. Thank god I don't freak out about music theory. [Sidenote: damn, these pants are getting tight. Screw me.] I had to write a bit of my manuscript-thingy for bio, thus telling me that BIO IS NOT A ROBYN THING (although to be honest, most things aren't). I can think of loads of things that would make bio worse, but it's bad enough now. The only good thing that happened was that last Tuesday we all got laptops to use to work on spreadsheets and I used it to check my webmail, only to come across a message saying that my package from eatraw.com had arrived in the shipping building. First, I thought, "Crap, it's closed already," but then I realized "No wait, I have five minutes! Five minutes to run like hell!" The thing about the shipping building (which is where all the non-USPS packages go) is that it's one of the farthest places on campus from anywhere else, which I'm sure would suck if you shipped a sofa to yourself. However, the bio building isn't too far away, and I got to the counter just as it was about to be closed. Woo! I carried around my package of dried fruits and nuts like a first-born child.
And all that sweet sweet delicious food has contributed to the sharp increase of my girth in the past week. Damn! Yeah, I obsess over weight, probably more than other people. I know I shouldn't. But I'm not sure what kind of eating disorder I have. It's not something easily identifiable like anorexia (oh man, there's one thing that'll never happen), it's just...well, I enjoy eating. People tell me they enjoy eating, which is why they can't be raw foodists. No, no, I really enjoy eating. Maybe I'm so removed from the cooked food lifestyle that I can't understand other people's views anymore. There's going to be an "eating disorders workshop" on campus tomorrow, and it sounds kind of interesting, but I don't want to hear about people who DON'T eat. You don't get to hear obese people talk about being overweight much, do you? If you ask me, the number of people with the "disorder" of overeating is much higher than those who eat too little. If whatever I'm saying now sounds really stupid, then forgive me, because I've never known anyone who was anorexic. I'm not trying to be unsympathetic or anything. Oh, something funny (or not) is that in this e-mail about the eating disorder workshop, it says that refreshments will be served. I can understand that since refreshments are served at EVERY function possible (even the ones promoting hunger strikes, I'm sure) but it just seems a little ironic. :)
Friday felt like the longest day ever. I woke up at 8 AM for bio, like every Friday, and after my Japanese class was over, I met up with my mum to go shopping. We went to Borders, but I didn't find anything I wanted. Then we went to some grocery stores, where I did find things that I wanted. :) I got a few containers of those young greens salads (mm) and some nuts (bad idea). I also got some organic oranges, which I must say do taste different from regular ones, at least the ones I can get in school. I'm not sure how they taste better, but they do. We also went to a Christian bookshop since from afar I thought it was a regular one. Damn. I'm not against religion, I mean...well, whatever floats your boat, as long as it doesn't make you sink other people's boats (I have no idea what I just say; some neurons aren't functioning) but there was this one book that sounded so ridiculous to me. It was written by some pastor (or someone like that) who had gotten cancer. The exerpt on the back of the book said something along the lines of "At first I thought, how could I have cancer? I've been so good to God! I'm here to tell you that you can get cancer too." Well, that's not what it said, obviously, but it was just as ridiculous sounding. This guy just sounded a tad ignorant. You can' abuse your body just because you have faith in a God.
Something I noticed is that despite my loading up of my body with hard to digest foods like dried fruit and nuts, I haven't been lethargic or sleepy. I was disappointed that I couldn't sleep for more than 8 hours at a time this weekend. I went to bed at 4 AM and woke up between 11 and 12. I've also been waking up a few minutes before my alarm goes off in the morning each weekday, which I find really freaky since the times I have to wake up aren't the same every day. My digestion has always sucked, so I'm thinking that my body isn't using up loads of energy digesting because it just doesn't know what to do. It says, "Screw you, we're not dealing with these raisins. We'll just pack em away in this little part of your intestines and make you look like you're in your second trimester." Oh, okay, thanks! Well, at least I can wake up before the sun starts to go down.
I didn't finish talking about Friday yet. Um. Um. Erm. Oh yes, my mum and I went to places, one which was a spanish grocery store. I've never seen one before, so it was interesting. They had a whole aisle of dried chiles. Also, they had small packs of nuts, which was a big difference from the build half pound or one pound bags I saw at Stop and Shop. Oh, another thing, the Stop and Shop had shopping carts that you had to pay to use, which I've never seen before. It makes the Stop and Shop I worked at look so...ghetto, for lack of a better word (and the one I worked at was called a Super Stop and Shop? I don't know what the "super" means, although I've been trying to figure it out). Friday night I saw Whale Rider with Megan on campus (the film league puts on good movies). I saw it before with my mum, but it's a really good movie so I wanted to see it again. After that we saw the HEL (Happily Ever Laughter) comedy show, which the two guys across the hall were in. It was pretty funny, with surreal humor. Now I think the guys across the hall are really, really weird. They're really nice guys who you'd never know are so odd. And then you see the "Mr. Pokey" movie...nah, I won't get into that, but it was reallly funny. Many talents, ah...yes.
On Saturday I thought about doing something, but instead I stayed in my room all day. I also worked on this website...you like? I got this far, but as for doing all the other pages on my site, I don't know what I'm going to do. Paaaain. I want to become a CSS MASTAAAH (as opposed to the lowly, CSS MASTER) but I can't remember all the damn tags. It's so nice to not have to deal with crazy HTML anymore. I can't believe the crap-ass websites I used to make where I'd format every single paragraph of text with font and font size and all that crap. And tables are a bitch, so I'll try to stop using them, if possible. I really want to redo the evenmagnet tour page. I'm working on the pictures page right now and it's going...alright. Considering how slow I am, at least.
So just as a warning, a lot of the stuff on this page isn't going to work. I'd be surprised if anything does, actually. COMMENT! DO SOMETHING! :)