roboppy.net

I know I'm a human, and most of us are...human...but I just can't understand so many things. I really can't. So while I guess there's nothing wrong with me, the world is very very odd. Or I am very odd. Actually, how would you know if you're crazy or if everyone else is? YOU CAN'T! HAHA! MHEWAHHDASH *spittle*

*cleans up spittle* Erm, yeah, so I'm obviously in the right state of mind.

Alright, my computer just crashed after I had written a long paragraph already...*sigh*. I'm not sure what's wrong with this computer. It doesn't crash in school so I guess it has something to do with the cable modem connection and my USB adapter, maybe. The thing is, I do save what I type a lot (in Wordpad) but sometimes it doesn't actually save, such as when I open my file after my computer crashes and nothing is there. I mean, I can't do much better than saving, so what is the purpose of it?

Bloop. Anyway! (ctrl + s) Today I went to Starbucks to see some friends from high school that went home for the weekend for Rosh Hashanah. I guess I felt a littel out of place because I didn't have anything interesting to say about college. I noticed a big difference in our lives is that they live near major cities (Boston, Washington DC) and my school in a town that's deader than home. Which is pretty bad if you ask people who live here. I mean, I know there are things to do on campus, but I've been mainly too lazy to go to any or not present when they happen.

Anyway, one of my friends mainly talked about her new boyfriend, and while I was a little surprised to hear she got a boyfriend so quickly (she was my only friend in high school who had one) at the same time I wasn't. And now I wonder what is the psychology behind those people who must have a boyfriend/girlfriend and those people who don't. She mainly talked about how cute and buff he was, which to me sounded very superficial. I'm not saying I'm not superficial, but aren't there more interesting things to say about a person? What if someone described you to other people as just having certain color eyes and being a certain height and having a certain kind of build? Isn't that like describing a show dog? I guess I sound like I'm exaggerating, but I'm not sure how else to describe...it. So what kind of classes is this guy taking? What are his hobbies? I didn't ask these questions because I figured if she wanted to tell us, then she would tell us. She told us that he's very sweet and nice, which is...well, good. I can't imagine that she'd want to go out with him if he wasn't. I'm glad she's happy with school now, but I just wonder certain things. Am I being silly?

I still hold onto my belief that relationships are more trouble than they're worth. One of my friends told me about how she and her boyfriend break up and get back together a lot, and it's just one of those things that's part of the relationship. If there weren't any ups and downs, then it would be boring. I think if there weren't any ups and down it would be stable, but hey, that's my opinion. The thing is, I hate stress more than anything (except maybe giant mutant spiders) and will do just about anything to avoid it, or get rid of it (run over the giant mutant spider with a steamroller). On one e-mail she wrote me she was in a bad mood because she had "broken up" with her boyfriend, but a few days later her e-mail was nice and chipper again.

So after talking to my friends about college, I felt even more antisocial than I already felt. I've always been incredibly shy, yes, but at the same time I think I just give off some kind of chemical that makes people avoid me. I mean, talking to people is a two-way thing. Other people could just as easily talk to me as me to them (not that it's actually easy, I mean we have the same ability to do so). Other people seem to avoid me as much as I avoid them. So what's the bottom line? It's all my fault, of course. Hooo hum.

I don't really mind not having much of a social life, but I feel like I'm supposed to. It's just one of those things that comes with college. Or not. Maybe 99% of the time or something. Maybe I'll just be happy to be in the other 1%. I know people aren't criticizing me for not being social, but telling me, "You should stay in school, talk to people, go to events," doesn't help because yeah, I already know. I mean no offense to people who have given me advice, but it really doesn't matter. It's like telling someone who smokes they shouldn't smoke. They already know, and if they wanted to stop smoking and could stop smoking they would probably stop smoking. Does that make any sense? I don't think I make much sense anymore even though I try to type somewhat...well.

Another bit of this "Humans Are Strange" entry is about a family friend who is very near death. It's insanely, INSANELY depressing. She is so sick and was pretty much born that way. I'm just mad because I feel like a lot of her doctors must be incompetant...it's no newsflash that many doctors really shouldn't be in charge of a human life, or even the life of a ant, but people put so much trust in them. I heard a joke that MD stands for "minor deity" which is true for many people. Whatever a doctor says goes. (Just so you know, I know there are very good doctors out there who really know their stuff, but just not as many as there should be.) This friend has had stomach cancer, then ovarian cancer, and now back to stomach cancer. This is after having lots and LOTS of chemotherapy, of course, and now her husband is starting to get suspect of chemotherapy, thank god. I really think chemotherapy is crap, not that I think it can't ever help people, but it shouldn't be used as much as it is now. Anyway, besides all this cancer, she has blockages in her stomach, kidneys, and intestine, which my mum and I figure are scar tissue but we don't really know. :( Overall, she has lots of tubs and such coming out of her because of all the blockages and she isn't too keen on life anymore. I mean, I wouldn't be either...apparently a doctor said she could live a "half decent life" if she gets through her treatment. What the heck is a "half decent life"? Is that some kind of reassurance? Argh, I'm just so ...I don't know. While she had cancer and was really sick she was being fed stuff that I wouldn't even want a healthy person to eat, which makes me angry and sad. It's not like they had to give her an all raw food diet, not at all, it's just...nutrition is important. I wish this was a more important idea to most doctors instead of just drugs and things like that. After going through so much treatment she also went to a psychiatrist who would give her drugs for certain things. You just can't get better with so many drugs...

So that's what I'm annoyed with right now. Well, a few things. Maybe I'm not human and I'm giving off "anti people" rays and I don't want to attend any funerals. I'm really glad I had an assignment in psychology last year for which I had to interview senior citizens about their lives or else I may not have gotten to see that family friend in a long time. And it wasn't just seeing her, I got to talk with her for a long time.

Okay, this entry was a bit of a downer. I don't really feel that bad right now, although I wish I did have happier things to talk about. Hmmm. Well, today I got a new olive oil cruet for my dorm because I don't want to eat nuts anymore but I still need a source of fat. Nuts and dried fruit (which I'm also phasing out) are my ultimate mindless snack foods, practically poison when you're stuck in your room studying for hours. A bag containing eight ounces of pecans becomes four very quicky. I also got a little dipping dish for the oil, which is actually a creme brulee dish, but hey, whatever works! :) I also bought lychees from Mitsuwa because they didn't look too icky (when I see lychees in supermarkets they usually don't look too fresh...because they aren't) and they tasted pretty good! I don't absolutely love lychees, but I wanted to try them. I bought a hair style magazine from Kinokuniya (alright, that's not really a Robyn-ish thing to do, but I really don't know what haircut to get unless I have some pictures to look at, not that it ever looks the same anyway) because I feel like my hair is getting a bit longer. Not long, just longer.

For some reason I looked on ebay for Tamagotchi things and I ended up buying three packs of these Tamagotchi stickers. That translates to 15 sheets of stickers. I just figured that they're pretty cheap and it can't hurt to have lots of stickers! And I can give some away to people who were Tamagotchi crazy like me (this pretty much just translates to Rebbie and Karen, heehee). I'm also thinking of getting this Tamagotchi bag because I've actually been looking for a bag that's small but big enough to hole my wallet, camera, and phone (I asked the seller about the dimesions and he said it's 10 x 8 inches). It's not the most discreet bad, but I think it's safe to say I won't mistaken my bag for anyone else's. There's something else that I want but there aren't any on ebay right now: a wave ufo. It's not a Tamagotchi, but it's something I used to have before my mum got rid of a bunch of things in my virtual pet collection. I think Karen got it for me while we were in Japan and I was sit in the hotel room so she went shopping with my mum. I had absolutely no idea how to work the thing, but it would change when you held it near a TV (and probably anything else emitting death brain-melty rays).

Speaking of Japanese things, I saw Lost in Translation yesterday (technically two days ago) with my mum. It made me want to go to Japan so so so badly and I felt this weird nostagia towards Japan even though I went there five years ago and don't remember much about it. It's just such a surreal place...it's a bright technology happy city (referring to Tokyo at least, Kyoto was different) but it's like another galaxy. Really. That's the impression I got at least.

Oh yes, as for the movie, I really liked it. I like it more now that I'm thinking about it. It was funny in a low-key way, cute, happy...and sad. I mean, the happy parts were really nice, and then it ends rather sadly. I guess the whole movie is pretty meloncholy, but those staring-out-at-lights parts and just sitting in the darkness were nice. Go see it!

---comment replies!---

Woohoo Rebecca, all that comment lovin'! :) I can see the "cooking killing microorganisms" argument, but then there are so many things people inhale/ingest/touch each day that are much worse than the microorganisms, and I wonder if they realize that. Probably not. Today I found a chocolate covered coffee bean (most likely) between the cushions of the sofa we were sitting on in Starbucks and everyone else refused to touch it. My god, it's obviously chocolate, there are so many worse things you touch and eat in a day. The paranoia some people have really gets to me sometimes. It just seems so...silly.

Yay raw corn! I hope you like it, but if you don't then that's okee. Raw corn isn't a necessary thing, but maybe just overlooked?

I actually read that article in the link you posted! My mum printed out a lot (or possibly all) of the articles on that site. It's good to get all sides of the raw food "debate" so our minds aren't set on one thing. We still believe in eating all raw or mainly raw...I don't think people can really be 100% raw (I love eating seaweed and if it's toasted I can't let that get to me...it's just SEAWEED!) and I don't believe there are any real vegetarian animals. But I would disagree with a lot of things in the article, and then my overall idea is what is the point of trying to refute raw food? Why say it isn't necessarily a natural diet? The website has good articles but some of the psychology articles made me feel like I'm a bad person or something...