roboppy.net

Really, tell me that you wouldn't do the same stupid thing I just did.

I had (well, "have" since I'm still doing it) copy two audio cassette tapes for my Japanese class and I thought "Okay, this will take three hours then." So I'm sitting here, reading my Japanese book (pp. 6-13, my homework...I'm having trouble understanding what a "mora" is) and thinking "Man, three hours. This sucks." 45 minutes later, the first side of the first tape is done. It felt like a really long time and I was dreading doing the other side. And the other tape.

At around this time I realized that I was sitting in a room FULL OF TAPE RECORDERS. Yes. Robyn...where is your brain? Not in the skull. Not even near that part of the human body. It's in a swamp somewhere down in Florida. I popped my other tape into another recorder and saved myself the pain of having to sit through three hours of....well, sitting. But I did waste 45 minutes, which kind of sucks.

So anyway, don't do what I did. Not that you would. I mean, who would? I'm SURROUNDED BY FREAKIN' TAPE RECORDERS!

By the way, I'm a college student now. It's hard to tell, I know. Sometimes I wonder if I left my head in elementary school, kindergarten to be exact. Remember how easy that was? "Count the apples!" Yeah. (sigh)

So today I had my first class and it wasn't that bad. My "Elementary Japanese" class has about 15 people in it. So it's nice and small, but then the classroom is pretty small too. Some people will probably switch to the earlier class, which has a lot less people at the moment. I would if I could; my Anthropology class on Tuesday and Thursday coincides with it. It's a short, 50-minute period so we didn't get to learn very much. We just went over the three types of alphabets and how to address people and...yeah. I really really want to succeed in learning an Asian language for once in my life and I hope this is the way to go. I saw some people I recognized in that class, which was cool. Simon, one of the people across the hall from my dorm is in my class (when asked why he decided to take Japanese, he replied, "Why not?") but he's switching to the earlier class. Which means...um...more oxygen for me? In the basement! (The room is on the basement floor, room 011. I was a bit confuzzled at first.)

After my class I picked up my laptop, which I'm typing on right now in this room FULL OF TAPE RECORDERS (I really can't get over how I wasted 45 minutes sitting here...it's a small part of my life, but one that will live in infamy as "that time I sat on my butt for 45 minutes while moths invaded my brainmeats"). I guess my laptop is not virus free (with a new lemon scent!) which is nice. What is not so nice is that only one of the two Ethernet ports in my room works. At first I thought my computer was still pooped until I switched the jack with Kathryn's computer and it worked. D'oh. The Internet is being pretty poopy right now, and I hope that doesn't last because it feels slower than dial-up right now. The little "Network Connections" thingy says it's going at 10 MB / sec or something like that...erm, no.

I spent probably too much time on the Internet, still keeping up with Neopets. Yes, it's awful, but I want to reach one million neopoints. It's a stupid goal that really doesn't amount to anything, but it's my stupid goal. MIIIINE! Must rack up fake points for my fake pet! I don't understand the psychology of it either. I was amused when I heard someone blaring Hail to the Thief and then Kid A while I was online. I couldn't even tell where the sound was coming from...it was more like vibrations than sound anyway. But anyhoo, woo for that!

After that I decided to go to the college store to pick up some cassette tapes to record on and maybe find some raw nuts. The only raw nuts that were there were pecans, but that's a whole lot better than nothing. There's also tamari almonds and junk like that, which isn't bad, but...poot. There are also organic raisins and dried apples, so I could live on that for a while. There were a lot of people at the store getting their textbooks, but I figured I had to get the tapes a some point (then again, if other people in my class got the tapes they'd have to record them too and there's absolutely no one else here) and so I waited. A few minutes later a buttload of people filed in from above (the store is below...um...it's below, period) and the line became quite long. How long? Too long. At that point I felt pretty lucky.

Upon exiting the college store I decided to go to the Retreat and see if there were any peaches (sadly, no) and I passed by a poster sale that was going on. Lots of posters. I would like some posters because my room is still lookin' drab. I didn't see anything that I really wanted though. I was thinking of going to to the dollar store to see if they had streamers and crap like that; they'd be easy to hand up in the room because there are a few huge pipes snaking around the ceiling (a nice touch, eh?). Well, I was going to go to the store before I found out I'd have to sit here for a long time copying these tapes.

And now I'm just here. Sitting. Scratching my head (it itches...whyyy). After I finish copying these tapes I'll dump my crap back in the room and go eat dinner. I need vegetables; I've been living on nuts, dried fruit, peaches, apples, bananas, and carrots for the past few days. That's not bad or anything, but I haven't had any green veggies in a while. What do they taste like? Hell, I forgot! I'm just thinking that I need some minerals.

Yesterday was the last day of freedom. From now on, ETERNAL HELL! Maybe. My student fellow told Kathryn and I last night that it would be out last moment without homework. A sad, sad moment, yes.

For a Sunday I actually woke up kind of early, around 9:30 AM, because I wanted to do my laundry. The laundry machines are pretty spiffy here, although the basement that they're in is not. The basement is just plain freaky here, but it's kind of supposed to be like that because during Halloween it gets converted into a haunted house that I've been told repeatedly is the coolest event on campus all year long (I guess most of the house houses hold dances, but Raymond House has insane people so it holds a haunted house). It sounds cool but I'm not sure if I want to take part in it. Well, I get in for free if I do. Anyhoo, yesterday I did laundry in the fun fun basement (one of the rooms is really kinda freaky looking because it used to be a smoking room before NY law make it illegal to smoke inside the buildings) and after that I went to the activities fair to get sucked into various clubs. I didn't sign up for a ton of things, but I don't remember everything that I signed up for. I remember signing up for some Asian Film club, which generally just watches Asian movies and anime...that doesn't sound bad. I also signed up for "The Miscellany News", and maybe, just maybe, Poofy and friends will make their mark in it.

[sidenote: If I hadn't sat on my butt for 45 minutes, I'd be done now. Poop!]

Another thing I was intersted in was the campus radio station, WVKR, so I went to their little informational meeting. I know I wouldn't be much of a great radio DJ, but I just wanted to see what it was about. The meeting ended up beeing pretty intimidating, in my opinion at least (and another girl i was talking to thought the same thing). Okay, what was so "bad" about it? It wasn't horrible, but it just seemed like such a long process to possibly get a show in the wee hours of the morning, and you COULD put a lot of work into trying to get a show and...not get it. First off, you had to work the phones for two two-hour shifts during pledge week (this week) and I didn't even get that far because by the time I got to the sign up sheet there weren't any slots open that weren't during my classes. (I have other options, like listening to a bagillion CDs, but as much as I like music, I think I'm too choosy for that.) After doing the four hours, you have to make a 15-song mix tape/cd. As for the artists you put on the cd, the more obscure/indie, the better. I can understand that, but ...well, it wasn't explicitly said that ALL ARTISTS MUST BE OBSCURE but none of them could be really well known. I could pull that off if I just ran some electronic theme, but...meh. I don't listen to enough obscure, indie stuff. Screw me. Anyway, after listening to the CD the staff would do a casual interview with you and then you have to do a "your space" thing where you do something creative most likely to show them that you are...creative? Cool? There was a section on the Vassar application for that and I didn't do it. I know it doesn't matter now, but I wish I had done it (I don't think I met anyone who didn't do it). I didn't do it because I didn't think I had even the slightest chance of getting in. Anyway.

So after all of that stuff up there, you may or may not get a radio show. If you do get one, it'll probably be at a crappy time, like 3-5 AM. I wouldn't mind doing it as long as I could play anything I wanted, but all that work to get up to that...well, they want to see that you're devoted. Once you are allowed to be a DJ though, you are guaranteed your show until you graduate, which is cool. I can try to get a show again next year, if I really want to.

I went to a meeting for the Miscellany News after that and it was must less intimidating, very nice and relaaaxed. I wanted to find out info about their comics section and apparently it's not a big deal. So maybe, MAYBE I can draw Poofy comics for it! There's only enough room for four-panel cartoons, so they'd be like "Mini Adventures in Poofyville" but wouldn't that be cool? I have to give em some samples. Four little panels...I've never tried that before.

Last night I attempted to be more social. And I kind of was. Maybe. I was trying to think of something to fit a four-panel comic when I heard Simon and Kathryn in the hallway talking about playing Beatles songs on the guitar and they wanted to play "Across the Universe" but couldn't figure it out. I thought I knew how to play it, so I jumped in, but then I found out I...didn't. Oo well, I got to play Simon's guitar for a bit, which made me wish I had my own guitar even more. I went online to find the chords and then we finally figured it out. So we had a small Beatles sing-along in the hallway. Kathryn was taking some photos and she has a photo fo me but hasn't given it to me yet. Simon made up a really funny song about our student fellow, Maura, and her basket. It's an inside joke, not that I'm really in on it, but I understand it. I think.

And that was my attempt to not be in my dorm room 24/7. TA DAAA! (cue confetti)

Today is an absolutely, dreary, depressing day. And what a way to start off the school year! Not only is it rainy and crappy but it's also a national holiday! Oh boy. I used to love rainy weather, but now it feels sucky. And the sweater I wore this morning smelllls funny now (but maybe things are supposed to smell funny in a college dorm). I wanna see some SUN, not get hit by raindrops in 50-something degree weather. Less than a week ago it was sunny as hell and I got sunburned. WHAT IS THIS ATROCITY!?

(looks over at the tape recorder)...crap, I think I still have 30 minutes to go. Or more. Probably more. It feels so deserted here; I guess Chicago Hall isn't a hotspot teeming with students excited about languages.

Oh, I found out something interesting about Vassar the other day; the students publish their own pornography magazine. Swell! I haven't looked through an issue, but it's just one of those interesting things they don't tell you at the prospectice freshmen weekend. And I don't think they list it in their brochure as one of the campus's student activities.

-- comment replies! --

Allie: I know I'm lucky because I don't really have to worry about paying for college. At least, that's what I've been told. :P I personally don't know how much money my family has, seeing that my parents don't actually work, but ...supposedly I don't have to worry about anything. So I'm pretty sure it's enough. And I don't think I would qualify for any extra money anyway. My brother gets a bit of scholarship money from his school though, which is nice. I think if I couldn't afford Vassar I would have just gone to Rutgers, which isn't a bad school, but ...eh.

Lea: I think you beat me in the category of "terrifying new experiences"....! I don't think I've met anyone who feels the same way as I do, but then I haven't talked to many people, which is the problem in the first place! Ahhh well, I'll see how this week goes.

Rebecca: Yay, I have some mail to look forward to! Thanks!

Ralph: You are strange too.

Judy: More mail, yaay thanks!

Alex: Yeaah gotta push those poofies! I haven't gotten orders since I left home! Hmm. Maybe Vassar carries bad poofy-selling vibes. I feel like the whole...tons-of-stores-n-junk around here is like Paramus. But I'd prefer Paramus. I mean, you've got this one huge mall, and then a lot of little places. The residential areas aren't really similar though. Wayne still kinda freaks me out, hehe...I don't know why. It's just SO MUCH SPAAACE, at least the part I kept driving through. I'm curious to see Ramapo now after it looked pretty dumpy last year with all the construction. :P

Fannio: More mail? Woohoo, thanks! I used to hate driving to the post office in my town because getting out of the parking lot was a pain in the butt. But I'm poopy. YOU CAN DO IT!

The bathroom has some smells that my nasal passages have never had the opportunity to meet before. In other words, my nasal passages were pretty peachy keen and happy not knowing the smells associated with a college dorm bathroom. But now...well, who knows. Honestly, what are some of those smells? When you can feel a smell, you know it's bad. It's like some weird massive invisible cloud that you can't escape, but the freakin' toilet stalls are so tiny that you're just trapped. The bathroom stalls on my floor are for some reason really small compared to ones on other floors. I mean, I'm a pretty small person, but I feel cramped in there.

So there's my rant about toilets. Nice, yeah? Yeeeah.

And now I feel like I can relax because it's Thursday and I only have one class tomorrow (Japanese). I think I spend most of my studying time on Japanese...I MUST LEARN IT! Or try to. I mean, it takes me a while to think about how to write Hiragana (we've learned "a" through "ho") but it's a whole lot better than when I tried to learn Chinese (of which I remember practically nothing. Buh-puh-muh-fuh-dingle-doodie?).

This morning I had my second anthropology class and I think I'm a bit screwed in that class seeing that I have to think (as opposed to my astronomy class, which is just facts and...that junk). My class is pretty big and the classroom is set up with these four long tables that kind of make an open rectangle and then there are two more tables behind the back table and the right table. So if that makes any sense to you, just imagine all the seats being taken and it feels like a lot of people. Of course, I can never think of anything to say seeing that in my entire learning career I've never been one of those people to speak in class unless a teacher forced me to, which usually didn't happen. I enjoyed anthropology last year probably because my class only had 9 people, but now...bloop. I think my teacher is really cool; he speaks very easily and in an animated way, which is good at 9 AM. But....but. Well. I hope I survive.

After anthropology I have 45 minutes before my next class, but with the time it takes me to get back to my room and then leave for my next class it's about 30 minutes of free time. Sooo I cram some Japanese info into my head (we're going to have a quiz every day from now on I think) and go to that. And...yeah. I think I like my Japanese class the most so far because everyone in the class is on the same page; we're not Japanese and we don't know Japanese. It's also a small class and my teachers (the main one and the assistant) are cute. Because all Japanese women are cute for some reason. The teacher puts this really cute stamp on our homework that has little fishies and a penguin on it. :)

Although I only have ten minutes until my next class, astronomy, it's in the building right next door. Woohoo, I'm lazy, so that works well. (It takes me about 5 minutes to walk from my dorm to Japanese, and 10 minutes to walk fro my dorm to anthropology.) Astronomy is an interesting class mainly because of my teacher. He's...interesting? I mean, the way he speaks gets a little annoying sometimes (he kinda stutters but kinda doesn't...I don't know how to explain it) but he knows what he's talking about. I think. Anyway, today he was using a doll's head to represent a person in a model of the "celetial sphere" and that was kind of odd. "We're going to stick Barbie's head until the celestial sphere and she'll see constellations of purses and cars and things like that..." He also showed us some pictures of galaxies and fun things like that on this biiiiig screen that rolls down over the blackboard. A nice thing is that I found out someone (well, another person) from my floor is in the same class so we sat next to each other. She wants to be a music major, which is pretty cool I think. Another cool thing is that since today is cloudy we don't have to do our astronomy lab at the observatory since we can't...see anything. YAHOO! But we have to do it on Sunday. Night. From 11PM-12AM. No, that's not fun.

Oh yeah, I'm planning to go home this weekend. YAAY, home! I haven't even been away from home for two weeks but I already want to go back. I'm sick of school already, HAHA! Uh, wait, that's bad.

After astronomy I came back to my room and ate lunch (I always eat in my dorm room, is that a bad thing?) and practiced some Japanese. Since the Farmer's Market was today I went there and picked up four kinds of fruit (four quarts in all) which I may have eaten half of already. Wait...okay, maybe not, that sounds like too much. Well, it was a lot of fruit until I started eating it (three peaches, three nectarines, maybe 12 plums...12 little plums, not the regular ones). Oh yeah, yesterday I went to a nearby health food store and found that they sell RAISINS and RAW ALMONDS so I bought them, of course. The raisin container says it has 15 ounces, which is scary because...there definitely isn't much left. Yesterday I was eating raisins without even thinking about it and later I didn't feel so well. I think I did the same thing today. The almonds are really yummy, but they're really expensive for some reason so when I go home I guess I'll stock up on some more.

Okee, so I eat a LOT of food. I was initially losing weight when I was here, but in the past two days I've gained a pound. I guess that's not a bad thing, but I'm definitely eating way too much dried fruit. And so I figure I have to drink a lot of water to compensate, but I don't drink that much, yet I still have to pee a lot. So...it's okay. Especially in the morning, that's when I really have to pee, and of course I don't WANT to get out of bed just to pee. But then it gets to the point where it's just really uncomfortable and my bladder is on the brink of exploding its contents outside of the barrier created by...erm, all the other junk in my body. BLAST PAST THOSE ORGANS, YEAH! So. Yeah.

My last class of the day, English, was at 4:35 so after getting more fruit and studying more Japanese I went to FUN FUN ENGLISH CLASS. It's not bad, but I'm pretty much the only person in the class with nothing intelligent to say. And not just that, but nothing to say, period. Like I said before, I'm just not one of those students that talks. Or breathes. Or is human. Hm. So...yeah. But we get to read "In A Sunburned Country" by Bill Bryson so that makes it all worth it. Bill Bryson rules but that book in particular is a plus for me because I listened to the entire thing on tape during the summer.

Since school has started I've been staying up pretty late each day doing homework. It's not like I do homework all the time, but I feel like I'm doing it a lot. I mean, there isn't much else to do...if I stopped eating then I'd have LOTS of time to do stuff, eh? But no. I seem to be the only person here to take advantage of lunch AND dinner...my roommate usually skips a meal because of time constraints. She also said she's too lazy to even get food. For me, the desire to eat definitely outweighs laziness. I kind of got around it though by buying a lot of food at once and then hoarding it in my room for a period of time. Anyhoo, so we stay up late a lot and it sucks. And since I'm the antisocial person, I really could care less about what goes on late at night and WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO TALK SO MUCH AT NIGHT. I mean, I really don't mind the other freshmen in my hall, but...it's hard to concentrate when they're all goofing off. (sigh) Also, I'm like the only one who doesn't fit in. Kathryn is really good friends with the guys across the hall and another guy on the floor so they all get together and she likes to leave the door open...but I keep thinking "door...close...please." Dammit. Oh well. Everyone is so nice, I really don't have issues with anyone. I just wish they wouldn't be so loud sometimes.

I also wish the INTERNET WOULD WORK! It does work, technically, but right now it's not. It just stopped working while I was chatting with Cristen. :( For some reason it's still iffy, but I guess I should be happy that it DOES work and that I have my laptop and blah blah...it still sucks.

...okay, the Internet JUST started working again. I'm not kidding. Just as I finished typing that. ....creepy. So I got to upload some photos from last week, woo! They're not very exciting, but there you go. Also, we've been trying to decorate the room more, so yesterday I put up streamers and today Kathryn put a sheet on one of the walls. Lookie!

Today was just corkin'! I mean, I've never had so much fun in my life, besides the time that I had my wisdom teeth pulled out and, you know, everything else that happened during my existence. (thumbs up for teeth removal!)

Okay, what did I do? Thankfully, I only had one class today. I thought I was doing pretty well in Japanese (we've learned the whole Hiragana alphabet) but I completely suck at reading. It's just this horrid, slow process of figuring out what the characters are: "ee...ta...d-...DA...kee...ma...su!" Okay, maybe not that bad, but sometimes it can be like that. It's worse when there are long vowels and double consonant stuff. Then again I guess it'd be easier than trying to make do with English, where letters sometimes sound like one thing and sometimes don't sound like anything. Japanese is pretty straight forward in that sense, and it's kinda nice. But my brain still goes through a long process trying to remember what a character sounds like.

Last week I went home for the weekend (and I'm planning to do the same thing this weekend) and also went to Mitsuwa where I picked up anything that was free and had Japanese on it. Reading is pretty limited when you only know one alphabet (that has more than 50 characters...which means nothing when it comes to Kanji which has 5.6 x 10^8 characters or something). Everyday I practice reading a children's book I have that is nearly all hiragana, and that hasn't been getting much easier. It's more likely that I'll just memorize it than actually be able to read it by...reading it. Um. Yes.

So after Japanese I went to check my mail (nothing, but I did get a great letter from Rebecca early this week...! :D Also I ordered some stuff online from audio dregs [three cds, and they better be goood!] and toothpaste for dinner [the new t-shirt and a book] so I hope to get those next week) and I bought some apples from the Retreat. The Retreat has much better fruit than the ACDC, which sucks because on the meal plans you always have a buttload more points for the ACDC. I don't know why it works out that way (why certain points can only be used in certain places and blah blah) but it sucks for me because I've been buying peaches at the ACDC more, even though they don't taste as good as the ones from the Retreat. The Retreat has a lot of local farmed fruits, but I don't think the ACDC does. :( The apples are SO yummy, I have to remember what kind they actually are. They're a light green with a pink tint to them, as though they are blushing. :)

My big thing for the day was "DO ENGLISH ESSAY" and that is what I did, which is why I had such a good time spending the entire day cooped up in my room. YAY. This is college, after all. I don't think it would have taken a normal person so long to write a 500 word essay, but you know, I'm not normal. And the essay sucks. Badly. I started it at around 3 PM and ended at around 9 PM. And the essay is so bad. I couldn't bring myself to read it. I'm going to read it again tomorrow and...well, print it out so I can hand it in. Our assignment was to reading the first three chapters of In a Sunburned Country and an essay by Peter Conrad called "New New World" and then write about what criticisms Peter Conrad might make about Bryson's book and why and well, I had NO IDEA what to write, so today has felt very long. Yes. Did I say that my essay is really bad?

Okay, I didn't write straight for 6 hours, as I did have to eat and pee every now and then. I've never eaten a meal outside my dorm room in school since classes have started. Is that a bad thing? Ho hum. Anyway, we got our first papers in English back yesterday and my teacher said if we were to get grades (nothing is graded in class) we'd probably all get Cs. To me, that sounds GREAT, because it's better than an F, but I think some people were thinking "Wah? A C? Noo!" Yeah well, get used to it. I had a lot of screw ups in my paper because it sucked, but my teacher said he liked my title, which barely constitutes anything in the paper. He also said my writing was laregly error-free, so...yeah. That's. Just. Great. Alright, it's better than nothing, so I guess I'll count my blessings. A lot of my classmates were complaining about how everything that was drilled in their heads in AP English was now useless (my teacher told us to throw out everything that we previously knew about writing essays), making me wonder if I was better off not having taken AP English. But then I wondered if I was the only one who hadn't, which might not be good.

Tonight I have to read another chapter of Culture and Truth for anthropology. It's actually not such a bad book, but I dread all the reading in that class. There's just a whole lot of it. I guess if it were all leisurely reading, it could be FUN, but no. No fun! Fun is not allowed.

Last night I went to a meeting for the Vassar Greens, not that I really think I will get involved. I was just curious to see what they did, and...well, I could get involved in something I guess. After the meeting I ended up talking to someone from my anthropology class; she remembered my name because there's another person in our class with the same last name as me. I can't remember ANYONE'S name in that class, so I'm glad she has some kind of memory. And it was nice to actually have someone talk to me. So far I'm still completely not social and I don't intend on trying to climb the social ladder, seeing that I will probably spend lots of 6-hour spans of time locked in my room with my laptop and a basket of peaches and apples (man, I can't even say how much I've been eating lately...okay, lots of fruit and nuts), so that is me. Yes. I suck. Okay, what was I saying? Yeah, I am bad at remembering names and about two seconds after this girl told me her name, I forgot it. Then later when we got back to the quad, I kind of remembered it but screwed it up. But now I have definitely remembered it. I think.

Kathryn gave me a photo taken of nearly our entire freshman group on the floor...take a lookie! The top row is Peter, Ian, Vanessa, Maura (not a freshman, a student fellow), Annie, Abel, Dan; second row is Kathryn, Allison, me, Simon, and Walter. Funny how I ended up being right in front of all the food even though I knew I wasn't going to eat any. Hohum. Simon and Abel are the guys that live across the hall from us (and are the only other freshman in our end of the floor). As far as I know, everyone's pretty cool...maybe. Okay, maybe not. But all the girls are definitely cool. :) Allison is in my astronomy class and makes it much easier to get through.

Actually, astronomy isn't that bad, but I have no idea what I'm going to do when the test comes. On Sunday we had to go to the observatory to look at Mars for our lab, which said to describe Mars as seen with the unaided eye and through the telescope and to draw Mars as seen through the telescope, labeling any features. So what did I see? A yellowish, blurry, tiny circle. It looked more like the moon, except the moon is much clearer. Without a telescope. So that was rather uneventful. My teacher insisted that you could see the dark spots and...junk n crap, but I saw nothing. Nada. My lab write-up is going to be pretty bad.

Sooo I plan to go home this weekend to pick up a lamp I can stick near my bed and get a bunch of things Kathryn needs. And to get food. Or just eat it. Mmm. I really love eating. I would never be satisfied with a pill that could fulfill all the nutrients I needed.

---comment replies!---

Alex: I haven't seen any food thrown out in the bathroom here...yet. That WOULD be gross. So far it's just the bathroom tissue, which is pretty harmless. There are lots of garbage containers around here though, so I guess people aren't going to throw out food in the...bathroom. :)

mika: that continuously flushing toilet sounds really...freaky! And that is wasting a lot of water, nooo! :O Put up those magazine clippings! :)

I figured I'd update this thing because it's late and I really shouldn't be updating this thing.

On that note, I'm going to update this thing. See, my brain has already starting to degenerate into a soup of fat and nerve endings or something. I learned something about the brain last year in psychology, although obviously, I haven't remembered a great deal of it. I can tell you one thing; the brain needs fat to work, specifically good fat.

I can assure you all that I am getting lots and lots of good fat. And lots and lots of carbs. And lots and lots of food. But it's not really a good thing because I am just pigging out a lot as I have a stash of dried persimmons, dried figs, almonds, pecans, and pine nuts in my closet. At least, I did have a stash. Today I finished off my bags of pine nuts and pecans, but I think I have another bag of pecan somewhere. For a while the taste of pine nuts disgusted me, but I tried them early this week and decided they were like crack. Not that I've had crack, but if I did, it might be like eating pine nuts. Or not really.

Well, something is affecting my brain. Anyway, the moral of the story is that if your children are pecans, almonds, or pine nuts, keep them away from me or else I may eat them. There's no self control...none! IT'S CRAZY!

Now that I've sufficiently labeled myself as a "crazy" I can talk about other things. Like finding a banana in a cup outside my door. Alright, it wasn't really a cup, it was one of those foam things you use to insulate cans. But the banana thing is real. There were two hot pink post-its attached to it saying I shoudl treat it as though it were my baby. Or something. I don't really remember because I didn't read it very carefully, and I didn't read it very carefully because it was a banana in a pseudo-cup. You can't really expect people to take such a curious combination of objects and regard it with care and awe. "This ripe, speckled banana of love is my bundle of joy!" I haven't a clue why it's outside my door, but I decided to leave it there. I mean, it's either that or eat it.

Today was alright class wise. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed by the assignments I have to do though, not that it's a whole lot, but I stress out easily. I don't think I show stress easily, but I can sit for extended periods of time looking okee-dokee when inside my organs have actually rearrange themselves so my bladder is somewhere about where my lungs ought to be, and my lungs ...well, I don't know what happened to those guys. So while I may look serene, I'm actually experiencing a total body meltdown.

So! What's coming up? Next Thursday I have two essays due. Of course, it doesn't help that I've had one assignment for more than a week already but haven't started it. As for the other essay, I'm lucky to know about it now because for our first two essays my English teacher would tell us the topic on Tuesday so we could hand it in two days later. This essay is longer though, so we get an extra weekend. WEE! How I do love writing...in the same way mosquitoes enjoy flying into electrified bug zappers. I also have an astronomy test next Thursday and today the teacher gave us a sample test. It didn't actually look that hard if you actually knew astronomy. However, I lack this knowledge because I suck and I'll need to start cramming, oh, now. Today one of my classmates, a guy on my floor, fell asleep in class. It's not that it's actually that boring, but I guess he was really tired.

I have no intention of falling into the nap-attack routine. I guess I'm not all that tired, for one thing, but I do feel sluggish right now (I'm attributing it to eating obscene amounts of food today due to going to the Farmers Market and eating lots and lots of fruits and veggies, including a quart of raspberries...people will argue that everything I eat is nice and healthy, and, well, it is, but it's easy to overeat and it's not good to overeat even healthy food). My roommate took caffeine pills yesterday and managed to not take a nap. While I'd like to think it's good she managed to not take a nap, getting by on drugs isn't much of an alternative. Oh well, no one is willing to take the raw food route and I know there's no use in even trying to convince anyone. As long as no one bothers me I guess I'm okay.

Some neat things have been happening lately. I got an e-mail from a woman at Puremusic saying she wanted to incorporate one of my photos of Rufus in an interview they're putting online. Not really just my photo, but she's going to mix it with another photo...anyhoo, I don't care what she does with it; the photos I took are pretty bad. But maybe the perspective makes it different? I also got an e-mail from a guy at cyanlabs saying he liked my threadless designs although he didn't say which one. I think they're all pretty bad, but I tend to end up hating stuff that I do after a while. Except maybe Poofy. I must say, I still enjoy Poofy...

Someone has asked me to make a big Poofy. Giant. 2.5 feet. I'm going to try it out this weekend when I go home and I'll update this if I actually get anywhere with it. And if I don't, I'll still update this. Without a giant Poofy.

Speaking of Poofy, here is my first published comic and my first contribution to the Vassar community (I am contributing to the decline of IQs everywhere!). I know, it's not really funny...I'll have to work on that. Working with four panels when you're used to eight is something to get used to. Either that or I'll just continue making crappy comics.

Yesterday I went to the library for the first time since classes started and it absolutely left me dumbfounded. The place is just so huge and has so many books you'd never think anyone would read...I could stay in there all day and hardly get through anything. The periodicals alone (lots of nutritional journal in case I want to read about the nutritional value of different kinds of rice cooked in different ways among other things) would take lifetimes. I read slowly, by the way. I kept coming across books written in Russian; I wonder if they have anything written in Japanese (I'm thinking no...they might create a Department of Japanese here though, which means you would be able to major in it).

Alright, now it's really time to go to bed, or study, or pretend to study.

Last weekend I discovered how delicious raw corn was. I knew it tasted good before, but since becoming a raw foodist, I didn't see the point in eating corn. It isn't really known for being healthy, but it's a staple. Anyhoo, last week when I went home I picked up an ear of corn at a farmers market and it was absolutely delicious. It's juice and sweet and I haven't a clue why people cook the thing. I mean, if you want hot corn, then I guess you'll have to cook it, but I really see cooking as a very destructive thing. When people ask me what's the difference between eating cooked and raw food, I think "Well, let's compare a dead person and a live person..." I don't actually say that, but that's what I really think in my head! All you need to do is compare a living thing to a dead thing and you tell me what the difference is. It's not like I think people who eat cooked food are crazy, but when people really don't see why I eat just raw food or think that it's not as healthy as cooked food, I don't see how there can be an argument.

So there's my little intro. I've been asking people about whether they've eaten raw corn or not, and nearly every time people have said they've never tried it. They usually go on to say that they don't want to try it (and sometimes they say, "Corn is meant to be eaten cooked," and...well, I'm not going to go there). I don't understand why people's minds are so closed off to such a little thing. I mean, do people really think it's going to kill them or that it's any worse than the other things they eat? I really don't get it! I'm talking about people who are my age, figuring that teenage minds are more malleable than an adults. Anyway, it's not like I think about this day and night because it's no big deal, but it's something I find hard to understand. Come on people, IT'S JUST CORN!

...erm, anyway! If you do want to try raw corn, eat it the first day you get it. The sugar turns to starch over time...rather quickly.

I'm actually not loaded down with work right now, which is a huge relief. Yesterday was my "so much work I'm going to die" day...but hey, I'm still alive! Uh! Yay! I guess! Yesterday I did an English essay on The Road From Coorain and I polished my anthropology essay about the function of a bathroom (this makes sense...trust me). I also had an astronomy test that did not go too well. Probably because I'm not good at astronomy. But honestly, it was a pretty awful test. I know there are people in my class who do know what they're doing, but I'm sure a large number of people are like me and quite unable to retain information well. It wasn't even a really difficult test, if you had studied enough. And...I didn't. I think I got Newton's Laws right and maybe something about why there isn't always a lunar eclipse at full moon, but moo. I almost don't want to know what I got on that.

The nice thing about finishing my test (besides...well, finishing it) was that I got an e-mail this morning saying I got a package! YAY MAIL I LOVE MAIL, I'd like more of it but I've realized that I need to write letters to people before I can expect to get mail. And I have this in my mind, so I will write letters to people...someday. Anyway, the package was from Audio Dregs for three albums that I bought: Pavilion (Lineland), Kiwi (Dim Dim), and Computer Recital (Lullatone). Mm yes, I love Audio Dregs. I like all the albums and while they're similar in a way, they're all different too. They're all similar in that they are fun, cute electronic music ish stuff. And they're all different because the tone feels different for each one. And why not, there are different kinds of fun and cute! "Computer Recital" feels very childish, like preschool, and it's soothing, as though for a baby. "Pavilion" reminds me more of elementary school and playing lo-fi video games. I'm not sure what "Kiwi" is...it's like another dimension of strangeness. A very colorful dimension.

Last night I tried to study for the astronomy test with a friend on my floor, but we didn't get very far. My roommate and another girl on the floor came to the room and we all ended up very far from studying. Okay, I didn't really think it would be productive, but I guess it was nice to not be alone in my room for once. Today I even went to the farmer's market with a girl from my Japanese class, although I was taking a while to pick fruit and then she had to go to the bank. Oh well, I am making little attempts at being social. Except I thought I might go to this thing called the Aula Coffeehouse, or Aula After-Hours...something like that. It's a thing where people play music and you watch them. Or just sit there like a log. I was a little interested in going, but I'm not too interested in going alone anymore. So! I'll sit here.

I ate dinner at the ACDC today because every Thursday from 6-7 there's a Japanese Language Table where Japanese students eat together and talk about Japanese things. Not that I talk, but that's the idea. Today people brought Japanese music with them, which was interesting. I can't say I've ever been interested in Asian music...I mean, Asian pop music. I seem to like music of European origins the most, but I don't know why. So I went to the table-a-majiggy, but I basically had no one to talk to, so I don't know if I'll feel like going to that again...

Staying in my room a lot with a stash of nuts and dried fruit has definitely been taking its toll on me, weight wise. I haven't gained 15 pounts yet but...who knows what'll happen! HAHAHAHA...okay, I'm really going to cut down on the dried fruits and nuts, even though I think I ate three ounces of almonds today and a bunch of pecans and lotso f dried figs and raisins. I also eat regular, good ol' fresh fruit, but you can't really snack on fresh fruit. Mm...snaaack...

I went through English class today not saying a word. I guess that's going to be the trend. Mm. Last Thursday a very odd thing happened in English class; my teacher kind of paused and said he wanted to ask something. For some reason, and I really don't know why, I knew he was going to ask me a question. He never asks specific people a question, but usually general questions for the class, yet in my mind his timing and tone of his voice told me he was going to ask me a question. After he asked me what I thought of In a Sunburned Country, he asked another guy who never said anything what he thought too. But ...I was first. I automatically felt dread when he called on me and I went through those classic emotions: embarrassment, "everyone is looking at me", that type of thing. I guess you never grow out of that. But I wouldn't even feel like that in high school because I was somewhat comfortable around my classmates. I'm not that comfortable yet, and...blech.

BUT, thankfully, I didn't have to say anything today although I had the feeling my teacher wanted me to. I felt like I was in a weird position because out of the class's 75-minute discussion, hardly anyone talked about what my entire paper was about. Now, I already thought my essay was pretty bad, but now I'm wondering if I read the same book. Yes...I did...why didn't I find the same meaning in it as other people? I skipped over a lot, apparently, but I went up to the 750 word limit. I really don't want to rewrite the paper...

Yesterday we were supposed to vote in the student elections, although I didn't know who most of the people were so I didn't vote for them. OH WELL! But I did vote for this guy...well, he was the only choice, and I actually know him. He's in my Japanese and English class and he's an interesting, funny character. I don't know if I can say much else besides that.

Today I submitted another comic to the Miscellany News, hoping that I made whatever deadline they have. I should probably figure out when the deadlines are...erm. Well. Anyway! I have a comic in this week's newspaper (comic number two!) so that's exciting, yes? Somewhat...maybe.

Tomorrow I have a Japanese test. I'm not really worried about it, although I definitely should study. Maybe I will even write some letters? I really gotta pee right now, soo...yes. Some other fun news is that I got tickets to see Travis at the Beacon Theater with Diana. I got lode seats, row E, seats 21 to 23. So that's pretty nice, considering I just found out a few days ago about the concert (which is during my October break). The tickets with all the extra charges came out to about $50 each though. I mean...that's pretty pricey, isn't it? I guess I'll have to expect rising ticket prices from now on. The most expensive concert I went to was for Bjork, but ye know...that was Bjork. With fireworks! Oh well, I better be blown away by THE CUTENESS OF TRAVIS!

I know I'm a human, and most of us are...human...but I just can't understand so many things. I really can't. So while I guess there's nothing wrong with me, the world is very very odd. Or I am very odd. Actually, how would you know if you're crazy or if everyone else is? YOU CAN'T! HAHA! MHEWAHHDASH *spittle*

*cleans up spittle* Erm, yeah, so I'm obviously in the right state of mind.

Alright, my computer just crashed after I had written a long paragraph already...*sigh*. I'm not sure what's wrong with this computer. It doesn't crash in school so I guess it has something to do with the cable modem connection and my USB adapter, maybe. The thing is, I do save what I type a lot (in Wordpad) but sometimes it doesn't actually save, such as when I open my file after my computer crashes and nothing is there. I mean, I can't do much better than saving, so what is the purpose of it?

Bloop. Anyway! (ctrl + s) Today I went to Starbucks to see some friends from high school that went home for the weekend for Rosh Hashanah. I guess I felt a littel out of place because I didn't have anything interesting to say about college. I noticed a big difference in our lives is that they live near major cities (Boston, Washington DC) and my school in a town that's deader than home. Which is pretty bad if you ask people who live here. I mean, I know there are things to do on campus, but I've been mainly too lazy to go to any or not present when they happen.

Anyway, one of my friends mainly talked about her new boyfriend, and while I was a little surprised to hear she got a boyfriend so quickly (she was my only friend in high school who had one) at the same time I wasn't. And now I wonder what is the psychology behind those people who must have a boyfriend/girlfriend and those people who don't. She mainly talked about how cute and buff he was, which to me sounded very superficial. I'm not saying I'm not superficial, but aren't there more interesting things to say about a person? What if someone described you to other people as just having certain color eyes and being a certain height and having a certain kind of build? Isn't that like describing a show dog? I guess I sound like I'm exaggerating, but I'm not sure how else to describe...it. So what kind of classes is this guy taking? What are his hobbies? I didn't ask these questions because I figured if she wanted to tell us, then she would tell us. She told us that he's very sweet and nice, which is...well, good. I can't imagine that she'd want to go out with him if he wasn't. I'm glad she's happy with school now, but I just wonder certain things. Am I being silly?

I still hold onto my belief that relationships are more trouble than they're worth. One of my friends told me about how she and her boyfriend break up and get back together a lot, and it's just one of those things that's part of the relationship. If there weren't any ups and downs, then it would be boring. I think if there weren't any ups and down it would be stable, but hey, that's my opinion. The thing is, I hate stress more than anything (except maybe giant mutant spiders) and will do just about anything to avoid it, or get rid of it (run over the giant mutant spider with a steamroller). On one e-mail she wrote me she was in a bad mood because she had "broken up" with her boyfriend, but a few days later her e-mail was nice and chipper again.

So after talking to my friends about college, I felt even more antisocial than I already felt. I've always been incredibly shy, yes, but at the same time I think I just give off some kind of chemical that makes people avoid me. I mean, talking to people is a two-way thing. Other people could just as easily talk to me as me to them (not that it's actually easy, I mean we have the same ability to do so). Other people seem to avoid me as much as I avoid them. So what's the bottom line? It's all my fault, of course. Hooo hum.

I don't really mind not having much of a social life, but I feel like I'm supposed to. It's just one of those things that comes with college. Or not. Maybe 99% of the time or something. Maybe I'll just be happy to be in the other 1%. I know people aren't criticizing me for not being social, but telling me, "You should stay in school, talk to people, go to events," doesn't help because yeah, I already know. I mean no offense to people who have given me advice, but it really doesn't matter. It's like telling someone who smokes they shouldn't smoke. They already know, and if they wanted to stop smoking and could stop smoking they would probably stop smoking. Does that make any sense? I don't think I make much sense anymore even though I try to type somewhat...well.

Another bit of this "Humans Are Strange" entry is about a family friend who is very near death. It's insanely, INSANELY depressing. She is so sick and was pretty much born that way. I'm just mad because I feel like a lot of her doctors must be incompetant...it's no newsflash that many doctors really shouldn't be in charge of a human life, or even the life of a ant, but people put so much trust in them. I heard a joke that MD stands for "minor deity" which is true for many people. Whatever a doctor says goes. (Just so you know, I know there are very good doctors out there who really know their stuff, but just not as many as there should be.) This friend has had stomach cancer, then ovarian cancer, and now back to stomach cancer. This is after having lots and LOTS of chemotherapy, of course, and now her husband is starting to get suspect of chemotherapy, thank god. I really think chemotherapy is crap, not that I think it can't ever help people, but it shouldn't be used as much as it is now. Anyway, besides all this cancer, she has blockages in her stomach, kidneys, and intestine, which my mum and I figure are scar tissue but we don't really know. :( Overall, she has lots of tubs and such coming out of her because of all the blockages and she isn't too keen on life anymore. I mean, I wouldn't be either...apparently a doctor said she could live a "half decent life" if she gets through her treatment. What the heck is a "half decent life"? Is that some kind of reassurance? Argh, I'm just so ...I don't know. While she had cancer and was really sick she was being fed stuff that I wouldn't even want a healthy person to eat, which makes me angry and sad. It's not like they had to give her an all raw food diet, not at all, it's just...nutrition is important. I wish this was a more important idea to most doctors instead of just drugs and things like that. After going through so much treatment she also went to a psychiatrist who would give her drugs for certain things. You just can't get better with so many drugs...

So that's what I'm annoyed with right now. Well, a few things. Maybe I'm not human and I'm giving off "anti people" rays and I don't want to attend any funerals. I'm really glad I had an assignment in psychology last year for which I had to interview senior citizens about their lives or else I may not have gotten to see that family friend in a long time. And it wasn't just seeing her, I got to talk with her for a long time.

Okay, this entry was a bit of a downer. I don't really feel that bad right now, although I wish I did have happier things to talk about. Hmmm. Well, today I got a new olive oil cruet for my dorm because I don't want to eat nuts anymore but I still need a source of fat. Nuts and dried fruit (which I'm also phasing out) are my ultimate mindless snack foods, practically poison when you're stuck in your room studying for hours. A bag containing eight ounces of pecans becomes four very quicky. I also got a little dipping dish for the oil, which is actually a creme brulee dish, but hey, whatever works! :) I also bought lychees from Mitsuwa because they didn't look too icky (when I see lychees in supermarkets they usually don't look too fresh...because they aren't) and they tasted pretty good! I don't absolutely love lychees, but I wanted to try them. I bought a hair style magazine from Kinokuniya (alright, that's not really a Robyn-ish thing to do, but I really don't know what haircut to get unless I have some pictures to look at, not that it ever looks the same anyway) because I feel like my hair is getting a bit longer. Not long, just longer.

For some reason I looked on ebay for Tamagotchi things and I ended up buying three packs of these Tamagotchi stickers. That translates to 15 sheets of stickers. I just figured that they're pretty cheap and it can't hurt to have lots of stickers! And I can give some away to people who were Tamagotchi crazy like me (this pretty much just translates to Rebbie and Karen, heehee). I'm also thinking of getting this Tamagotchi bag because I've actually been looking for a bag that's small but big enough to hole my wallet, camera, and phone (I asked the seller about the dimesions and he said it's 10 x 8 inches). It's not the most discreet bad, but I think it's safe to say I won't mistaken my bag for anyone else's. There's something else that I want but there aren't any on ebay right now: a wave ufo. It's not a Tamagotchi, but it's something I used to have before my mum got rid of a bunch of things in my virtual pet collection. I think Karen got it for me while we were in Japan and I was sit in the hotel room so she went shopping with my mum. I had absolutely no idea how to work the thing, but it would change when you held it near a TV (and probably anything else emitting death brain-melty rays).

Speaking of Japanese things, I saw Lost in Translation yesterday (technically two days ago) with my mum. It made me want to go to Japan so so so badly and I felt this weird nostagia towards Japan even though I went there five years ago and don't remember much about it. It's just such a surreal place...it's a bright technology happy city (referring to Tokyo at least, Kyoto was different) but it's like another galaxy. Really. That's the impression I got at least.

Oh yes, as for the movie, I really liked it. I like it more now that I'm thinking about it. It was funny in a low-key way, cute, happy...and sad. I mean, the happy parts were really nice, and then it ends rather sadly. I guess the whole movie is pretty meloncholy, but those staring-out-at-lights parts and just sitting in the darkness were nice. Go see it!

---comment replies!---

Woohoo Rebecca, all that comment lovin'! :) I can see the "cooking killing microorganisms" argument, but then there are so many things people inhale/ingest/touch each day that are much worse than the microorganisms, and I wonder if they realize that. Probably not. Today I found a chocolate covered coffee bean (most likely) between the cushions of the sofa we were sitting on in Starbucks and everyone else refused to touch it. My god, it's obviously chocolate, there are so many worse things you touch and eat in a day. The paranoia some people have really gets to me sometimes. It just seems so...silly.

Yay raw corn! I hope you like it, but if you don't then that's okee. Raw corn isn't a necessary thing, but maybe just overlooked?

I actually read that article in the link you posted! My mum printed out a lot (or possibly all) of the articles on that site. It's good to get all sides of the raw food "debate" so our minds aren't set on one thing. We still believe in eating all raw or mainly raw...I don't think people can really be 100% raw (I love eating seaweed and if it's toasted I can't let that get to me...it's just SEAWEED!) and I don't believe there are any real vegetarian animals. But I would disagree with a lot of things in the article, and then my overall idea is what is the point of trying to refute raw food? Why say it isn't necessarily a natural diet? The website has good articles but some of the psychology articles made me feel like I'm a bad person or something...